“When old patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.” – Tuli Kupferberg
i am still amazed at the fullness of life that minimalism and simplicity offer: freedom, opportunity, less stress. i wish i had found it sooner. unfortunately, i had been told something different. i had been told that joy is found in material success. that the more i own, the happier i would be. but they were wrong. i’m far more joyful today desiring less than owning more.
which got me wondering… what if other messages i have been told are also wrong? what if many of the messages i have been receiving my entire life don’t lead to joy and fulfillment? what if true contentment is actually found in the opposite?
what if …it’s not “acquire more;” it’s actually “desire less.” the trouble with acquiring more is that there is always more to acquire and always someone else who has already acquired it. that philosophy renders true contentment unattainable. the only pathway to true contentment is to desire less. less brings freedom, more doesn’t.
what if …it’s not “get rich;” it’s actually “seek justice.” cultural and individual greed have ruined friendships, exploited billions, and destroyed our planet. desire for power, control, and resources have left many without adequate supply. you can’t desire more for yourself and seek justice for others at the same time. yet, when justice is fully realized, everyone is truly empowered… including you.
what if …it’s not “tear others down;” it’s actually “build others up.” too often we think of life as a zero-sum game. we believe that someone must be brought down to make more room for us at the top. but, it’s not true. you don’t have to blow out someone else’s candle to make yours shine brighter. in fact, some of the people who rise to the top the quickest are the very ones who helped others get there first.
what if …it’s not “reach for the top;” it’s actually “serve others.” learning to serve others flips our world upside down. rather than striving to be the one served (and becoming frustrated when you aren’t), find the true freedom in learning to serve others. their lives will be improved. and so will yours.
what if …it’s not “acquire power;” it’s actually “show mercy.” from playgrounds to board rooms, most people are looking for any angle to lord power over others… and stepping on anyone to get there. yet the most fulfilled people i know live exactly the opposite. they show compassion or forgiveness toward others even when it is within their power to punish or harm them.
what if …it’s not “receive;” it’s actually “give.” the bumper stickers have always said, “whoever dies with the most toys wins.” yet, all scientific research indicates that generous people are happier, healthier, and live more fulfilled lives. in other words, whoever gives away the most is the real winner, not the one who stored the most.
what if …it’s not “have more pride;” it’s actually “develop humility.” humility allows us to be ourselves – we no longer need to prove to everyone that we’ve got it all together. humility allows us to learn and grow – when we admit our weaknesses, we have taken the first step in learning to address them. and humility allows people into our lives – true, authentic friendships are not possible without the ability to be completely transparent with one other.
what if this world doesn’t revolve around me after all? now that would change some things. and what if we could break these patterns of culture by starting with ourselves? then, and only then, can a new world finally emerge.
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I like the article, but I’m going to play devil’s advocate here:
Why is it impossible to “desire more for yourself and seek justice for others at the same time”? Does justice imply that everyone has the same amount of wealth? What exactly do you mean by justice?
After all, as you point out later in the article, it’s a mistake to think of life as a “zero-sum game.” It’s a mistake to “believe that someone must be brought down to make more room for me at the top.” If that’s the case, why can’t I desire more for myself without harming others?
Also: in order to be generous, we need to first receive (or create) something worth giving. Is it wrong to accumulate a massive fortune, then use that fortune to support a cause you believe in?
Of what things ought we to desire less? And of what should we desire more? True, constantly desiring more means that we’ll never be totally satisfied – but as Thomas Edison said, “Show me a thoroughly satisfied man, and I will show you a failure.”
If everyone learned to be content with less than what they have – or even content exactly where they are – then where would we be today? Not communicating over a sophisticated worldwide internet, that’s for sure. We seek less in some areas of life so that we may greedily consume and enjoy and experience more in others. Materialism is easy to disparage, but remember that most of the “simple” things we enjoy now were made possible only by the pursuit of more, better, faster things.
In short, I agree with many of your points, but I question the bashing of self that many of them imply. In my view, both self-society and minimalism are like yin and yang – some things must be reduced to make room for other things to expand. I think you’re absolutely right in most of what you say here – but that’s only half the story.
The greatest achievement is to be a integral part of a society instead of being king of the hill. If everybody asked themselves these “what if” questions the world could be a different place.
This all sounds very, very Biblical.
I appreciate the thoughtful article. Especially your first point. It is amazing to me that the majority of us have bought in to the notion of more, more, more without questioning the reasoning. Keep up the great articles.
You just described what Jesus was all about! Great message!
Why does it have to be either / or? Why cant it be both in varying ratios? It’s not balance but harmony that is the goal…
This is good. Thank you.
Thank you again for a wonderful article. You listed things that I am working on right now, in my own life. These are so important, and if more people lived by these standards the world would truly be a better place.
thanks for the feedback everybody.
a couple points i’d like to address specifically,
@jeffrey – i appreciate a good devil’s advocate to further analysis, thanks. my point came from my belief that many of society’s injustices throughout history have been rooted in a desire for riches and power. whether it be slavery, poverty, sex-trade, or inadequate health care, most of those injustices are rooted in greed and/or selfishness. this greed tends to expose itself as one ruling class afraid to offer opportunity to another class for fear of losing power or wealth. i do believe that capitalism leads to creativity and wealth for many (as long as they have opportunity of course). but i am against desiring wealth at the expense of allowing access to others.
@lil – you are correct. many of the examples above do not represent an either/or scenario. there is balance in most of the items listed above (pride and humility can and should be present in all of our lives to varying degrees). the points listed are designed to force us to rethink many of the excesses that have naturally evolved in much of society. or as @martijn stated, “cause us to ask the what if questions.”
Sounds very Buddhist to me.
Great article, you’re spot on except for your last sentence which is a bit disconcerting. Starting with ourselves is not the answer because how do you think culture is formed? Culture is formed by individuals, and all individuals at the core are naturally bent to do things for ourselves (if we’re being honest). Truth and the answer to our warped society is not found within ourselves, it can’t be, because we ourselves are corrupted.
I think your last sentence should read, “and what if we could break these patterns of culture by looking outside ourselves? then, and only then, can a new world finally emerge.”
Great post with quite a few thoughtful questions to ask myself.
The one that hit me between the eyes that I have been reminded of quite a few times this week is to build others up rather than tear them down. I believe this to be an important one for me to deal with in life.
Peace!
Thanks for this post. I’m not surprised the comments have reflected varying opinions – I think that’s fantastic. This is such an important discussion. Regardless of one’s views on each of the questions you’ve asked, I think what matters is that we ask the questions in the first place. Just focusing the mind on these sorts of things is likely to create change. So often we just go about our day without considering the important questions and the consequences of our actions. Or at least I know I do.
My husband often reminds me that I could not donate to my favorite causes if I didn’t have the financial wherewithal to do so. One could argue that my time and skills, etc., would also be valuable to these organizations, but sometimes money is really what they need. Thus, I do take his point seriously.
One of my favorite quotes is, “There’s enough success in the world for everyone.” I’m sure this quote alone could stir up many comments, and I get that, but believing in this basic concept has changed me a great deal. What a bigger, more generous person I can be in all facets of my life.
Lsstly, I’ll work on developing humility and share that I got the above quote from an episode of Army Wives, a TV show on Lifetime. And, though this next statement is admittedly about regaining some pride, I also feel compelled to share that I haven’t watched the show in years!
Thanks again for a great post.
Relating to the comments of this being “christ-like” or buddhist: I agree.
It amuses me that so much of our country professes that we are a “christian nation”, whilst our entire economy and society is pretty much based on mindless consumption, envy and coveting of what others have, and just the overall pursuit of material goods.
Great post. You are exactly right on every point.
welcome on the new amazing world and all of its beauty
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