Toys. Sometimes, they feel like they are everywhere… like a never-ending army in a never-ending war.
Personally, over the past two years, we have taken intentional steps to minimize the number of toys in our home. Sometimes we feel like we are winning the battle, other days we feel like we are losing. But I did want to begin a conversation by offering some of the practical tips we have used to help minimize the number of toys in our home. Hopefully, you’ll have some helpful tips to add as well. And perhaps, we can encourage one another in the seemingly, never-ending battle against toy clutter.
To be fair, the exact “ideal number” of toys will vary from family to family (if there even is one). But hopefully, each of these tips will be helpful to those of you who know the ideal number is certainly less than you have today.
- Be convinced that less is better. As with any minimalist (or simplifying) project, it always begins with a heartfelt belief that less is better and desirable. I’m assuming if you have read past the title of this post, you already believe this to be true when it comes to toys. But if not, take a moment to read, Why Fewer Toys Will Benefit Your Kids.
- Fewer toys is different than no toys. Toys can be educational and play an important role in a child’s development. Just to be clear, I’m not advocating no toys, I’m arguing for less.
- Analyze your own motivation for purchasing toys. Most children don’t buy toys for themselves – somebody else does. If there are too many toys in your home, start with yourself. Why are there so many toys in your home? A healthy look at your own motivations may go a long-way in solving this problem.
- Choose quality over quantity. You and your children will benefit more from toys that are chosen for their quality (in workmanship) and purpose (playability) than for their sheer quantity. And just like everything else in life, too many toys will always distract from the truly important ones.
- Purge often. Most likely, you need to make a clean-sweep of your childrens’ toys right now. Removing the “low-hanging fruit” (toys that are no longer used) is a great place to start and shouldn’t take too long. Put the clean, unused toys in boxes and donate them to a medical center, nonprofit organization, local church, homeless shelter, orphanage, school, or Goodwill. Simply discard the dirty or broken ones. Then, stay on top of the clutter by purging on a regular basis and going beyond the low-hanging fruit.
- Set a confined, physical space for toys. Whether it is a container, a shelving unit, or a closet, set a confined physical space for your children’s toys. Once the space is full, there is no room to add more toys. Help your children understand that principle by clearly marking the boundaries. If they want to add (think holidays and birthdays), they’ll need to remove first.
- Limit your purchasing with a budget. If you budget for other categories in your life (groceries, clothing, entertainment), you already understand how this principle helps keep your spending and consumption in check. If you don’t, start today by setting a monthly/yearly budget for toys. Enforcing a predetermined budget amount will help in limiting your toy purchases.
- Don’t give into fads. Just like clock-work, toy companies will generate a new “toy-fad” every few months by artificially generating a cultural buzz. If done well, this artificial buzz will become mainstream in the culture and no longer feel artificial. But it is. And it will always pass. You don’t need to give in just because every other parent is.
- Keep a healthy, realistic attitude toward toy companies and toy stores. They may tell you that their main goal is to help or educate your child, but often times they are driven most by their bottom line.
- Avoid duplicate toys. Instead, require your children to learn the invaluable life lessons of sharing, generosity, cooperation, and compromise.
- Find a local toy library. Consider borrowing toys rather than purchasing them.
- Watch less television. Consider the fact that marketers are brilliant at shaping the desires of men and women, young and old. Now, imagine giving them hours each day to shape your children’s minds too… and you’ll quickly realize that you don’t stand a chance.
- Don’t give in to temper-tantrums at the store. Every time you give in to a temper-tantrum at the store just to avoid a scene, you embolden your child to do it again. They quickly learn how to manipulate you. Don’t worry about the scene that is taking place in public. Wise parents in the store will respect you for not giving in – and the foolish ones will learn a valuable lesson.
- Equip your children to make wise choices. Involve your kids in the purging process. Help them make decisions about which toys should stay and which should go. This will serve them well into adulthood. After all, don’t you wish your parents had forced you to learn that skill?
- Teach them to value other activities. Although all kids have natural tendencies towards certain endeavors, expand their mind by regularly introducing them to new activities that don’t revolve around toys.
- Limit your toys too. Kids will always learn more from example than words. If your life is caught up in always needing to own the latest fashion, technology, or product on the market, theirs will be too. And it would be unreasonable to expect anything less.
Keeping fewer toys will never be easy. It will always require thought and intentionality. But it will always result in your children learning to value who they are more than what they have. And that always make it worth the effort.
{ 58 comments… read them below or add one }
Fantastic article! I have a 6 1/2 month old baby (my first) and the clutter drives me insane. I try to be minimalist, but my wife isn’t always on board. Ugh. I have 5 friends who have also recently had babies, so I’m sure they’ll enjoy me sharing this with them.
First, let me give the disclaimer that I have no kiddos. Based on my observations though, my friend’s kids usually get tons of toys from well-meaning relatives and friends of the family. This usually happens at birthday parties and Christmas time. To help eliminate some of the clutter burden to other people in my life, I started doing gift cards and money for the children. Most parents I know have a savings account for their child and they really appreciate one less toy to wrangle out of a box (seriously, if you have helped get a Barbie unwrapped within the past few years, you will know what I mean)!!!
For myself, the past few years I have told everyone I know that I only want edible/drinkable gifts. Thus, I often get a nice bottle of wine or single-malt scotch (my favorite!), or gift cards to restaurants. People get an opportunity to give a gift they know I will like and I get something that won’t clutter my home.
Now, I don’t suggest a bottle of wine for your kid, but I do wonder what might be good “edible” gifts for kids that one could encourage relatives to buy for holidays.
That’s a brilliant idea, Brandon. I’ll be using it this year for XMAS – thanks!
For an edible gift for a child at Christmas time. Think hot chocolate, mini marshmallows, cookies and such. And the old standby – gift card to DQ, Baskin Robbins and other ice creameries.
We have suggested gifts like family memberships to the zoo or childern’s museum or gift certificate for kid themed restaurants like Chucky Cheese. These obviously take no space but also encourage more active family time.
Also consider consumable gifts like craft items (paper, crayons, coloring books). Teach the kids to not become attached to the art work and only keep their favorites so you don’t end up with clutter from the output of their efforts.
You may end up with the next Van Gough if you encourage creative endeavorer.
Good idea! I love the idea of getting gift cards to restaurants, wine, etc so my husband and I are able to go on dates rather than all the junk we get from family. Ugh.
We love to give and receive consumable gifts, especially art and craft things (girls about 5-10 seem to love these, particularly). One thing to bear in mind is that if you give edible gifts to kids some parents (I’m one, I admit!) are pretty strict on the sugar intake. Of course occasional treats are one thing, but if everyone gives candy etc, suddenly it starts looking like Halloween! One great gift a friend gave my kids was a gift card to a frozen yoghurt place – moderately healthy treat, and an experience we could all share :)
As the mother of two small children and LOTS of “well-meaning” relatives (grandpas, grandmas, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) – many of whom gift our children low-quality toys – I have taken to requesting that for birthdays and Christmas gifts our relatives donate to our children’s college funds instead of giving them clothes or toys.
We are picky about what toys our children play with (and how many they have), and we get plenty of clothes from hand-me-downs from friends/family.
It is really hard to live the minimalist lifestyle with children – simply because they NEED so many things (diapers, wipes, clothes, etc etc etc) BUT I think there are simple steps you can take to stay as true to minimalist as possible – not buying all the gizmos and gadgets they sell at the baby super store. Including toys.
Children are GREAT at imagining things. Don’t take their natural ability to imagine away from them by providing them with too many “one purpose” toys.
Thank you for this post, and this blog!
Hi, we have a second kid coming up and have the same problem with stuff. Luckily, we haven’t needed to spend much money (almost all clothes are hand-me-downs or bought by relatives but the stuff is still plenty.
We don’t really care if the stuff is a present. We have a couple of plastic bags stuffed with unnecessary toys in the closet, to keep the amount clearer, and we’ll give them away after we know if there’s something the newcomer will like. We do think it’s ok to give tangible gifts, but they need to be carefully considered and not too many. Also, our 2-year old does not yet understand the gift concept so it’s ok to ask for clothing for Christmas from well-meaning grandparents.
We have kept an eye out for stuff the kid might like. For Christmas, we’ll ask (or get) one wooden construction set that he loved at his uncle’s and another wood block game that he learned to play over summer. Books and jigsaw puzzles are fine as well, they are fun and last a long time (and don’t take the space). Currently, he mostly plays with wooden blocks from my childhood, a baby doll given by grandparents (I think he really understands that we’ll have another baby soon) and cars (his father’s old ones). Cardboard boxes, Christmas cards, and pen and paper are also fun. Or plastic containers. Our son has one large cardboard box (also used for playing) that contains toys he’s currently using and quite a few of them are actually discarded household items. When we don’t need something or it does not work anymore, and if he shows interest, we let him play with it and finally just toss it. Makes clearing clutter less sentimental as the stuff has one good final use :)
Yes! We have savings accounts for our children, and love to get money for them instead of gifts. When I was growing up, my grandparents would send money to my parents, who would then pick out one really good gift for each of us, and the rest was for our savings accounts. Sure cuts down on the clutter!
I am always fighting the toy battle. I purge toys almost daily. My 3 children still have plenty of toys, and right now as I post this, they are all playing with a laundry basket.
We have the “one in – one out” rule at our home. When a new item comes into the house my son must surrender an old one of his choice. We are still working on the “equivilent concept” (one giant remote controled car does not equal a matchbox) but at least SOMETHING leaves the house. This is also quite difficult with special needs kids – particularly when we use small toys for a reward system (as does his school).
Maybe Brandon’s whisky idea has merit – for us – not the kiddo!
We do the same thing at our house. I have a 4 year old and a 3 year old. They already know the rule of “toys in = toys out.” I make them choose. There’s always quite a bit of negotiation but they’ll do it and I’m quite proud of them. When asked where they go, I’ve already started explaining to them the concept of those less fortunate.
I will admit that I do sneak away junk toys that they’ve gotten from the dentist’s office, McDonald’s (yes, I confess that we do go there once in awhile and I don’t always give in to them wanting a Happy Meal toy), giveaways at fairs, etc.
I have a 2 1/2 year-old son and I have been very successful in keeping the toy clutter under control. No TV definately helps. My son doesn’t know who any of the Disney/cartoon characters are and hasn’t been exposed to much advertising (he does however recognize McDonald’s when we drive by, which is weird, because we’ve never been there). We have included “no gifts please” on his birthday invitations and our family/friends know that I don’t like plastic toys or anything with batteries. When our son does receive a gift we don’t want him to have, we leave it out for awhile (you have to, if he’s seen it) and then after he loses interest, out it goes. I think books are great presents. As for consumable gifts for kids… movie tickets, passes to a play/water park, petting zoo, etc. would probably be used and appreciated.
Thank you for writing this! I’ve recently started bookmarking things I want to buy my son for Christmas and his birthday (guh, his b-day is a few weeks after Christmas, last year it looked like a toy store in our house – I hope to avoid a repeat this year), but I bookmarked this post as well, and saved it alongside the gift list. Great reference point to keep me in check. ;)
I do have some toy purging to do, but I always feel guilty, because most of the toys that are to be gotten rid of were gifts from well-meaning family members. I fear for what they will say when they come to visit and ask where is that hunk of plastic they bought him. My husband and I don’t buy him much in the way of toys, we really do subscribe to the belief that less is more, and prefer quality over quantity (great points you mentioned), but other people don’t see it the same way. The fact is, my son will play with the cheap plastic gifts for a few days…then go right back to the classic, well-made toys he truly loves and plays with day-in-and-day-out. I guess I just struggle with relatives thinking I’m ungrateful if I get rid of the toys they bought him, even if he’s not using them. I have mentioned to family that we prefer wooden/natural material toys, things that don’t need batteries, etc., but nobody seems to care. What is your advice for dealing with this?!
That is exactly why I prefer to giftcards & cash. Every parent is different! Some parents like cheap plastic toys, others like natural toys, some don’t want to buy gender stereotyping toys, etc. I know it is a difficult subject to broach but I would either have a gift registry setup and make it known or like Lauren does, state “no gifts please” on invitations.
I know there are bound to be toes that will be stepped on. One year my grandmother gave a large donation to a charity instead of buying everyone a Christmas gift. At the time, I didn’t understand and so I was an upset little kid. My mother just made it worse by saying how unthoughtful she was by not giving us kids some toys instead of turning it into a teaching moment about those who were less fortunate. Can’t make everyone happy! :)
Hi, we actually give out clear instructions on what we’d like. Name of the game or the construction set, or what items of clothing are getting too small. Don’t just give them broad spec, give exact wishes. Those are harder to ignore.
This article has come at the perfect time. In the past few days I have noticed how many toys there are to be picked up in the evening, and they aren’t even toys that were played with, just tossed aside to get to other toys. It is definitely time to purge the toys here. (Especially because my son’s 3rd birthday is right around the corner.)
I don’t have kids (teenager!), but just noticed that nobody’s mentioned the old one of keeping some toys in a box in storage. After a few months, rotate the toys and the kid gets ‘new’ toys that are exciting again.
I’ve heard of neighborhoods, moms’, and church groups that rotate toys amongst themselves.
One thing we did at a recent birthday party was to have a book exchange. Each child brought one book and they exchanged it for another book. Everyone went home with something new, the birthday girl was happy and there were no less toys in the world.
I put toys in a box if they haven’t been used in a couple of months and if my daughter finds the box and pulls out toys we keep them for a little while longer, if not, they leave the home. It’s a good process.
Before you box things up to donate to Goodwill or the Salvation Army, many locations will no longer take donated toys and/or stuffed animals — something I wish I knew *before* I schlepped three boxes of stuff over there.
That is true. Good point, Kristen. I almost put an asterick next to the Goodwill suggestion, but decided instead to list a variety of alternatives with Goodwill listed near the end.
I had the same thing happen to me. My Goodwill does accept unopened or packaged toys (toys that are used but still have original packaging), a fact that doesn’t escape the notice of my two sons. I feel like such a grinch when I tell them no (they are 3 and 6) but they really don’t need another toy so I stick to my guns.
p.s. I suppose it speaks volumes that every time we visit Goodwill there is always a selection of new/unopened toys.
I agree that giving kids experiences is a really good alternative. I started taking my nieces out for their birthdays a couple of years ago to have a special day out instead of coming up with a gift, and I wish grandparents aunts and uncles would do the same with my kids. Christmas this year will be big with lots of family members around, and we’re already requesting alternatives to gifts for ourselves and our kids, but they always manage to sneak in a few anyway!!
I use Amazon.com’s universal wish list button. It’s free & easy to use at any website, not just Amazon.com. I keep a wishlist for myself, and my 2 kids. When a close relative or friends asks what to get them I just direct them to the list.
I love this article and can definitely relate to this issue. Very helpful!
It is also helpful not only to have a limited defined space for all your toys, but to have each toy have its own precise home.
This means
1. You can tell quite easily when you have too many toys – something doesn’t have a home
2. Your children will be able to do much more of their own toy tidying, and they’ll begin to REALLY learn why less is better!
I’ve been journeying this direction myself…
http://minimalistmum.blogspot.com/2010_07_01_archive.html
my baby, who just turned 1 has a medium sized laundry basket for his toys. and that’s it. people act like it’s abuse. sheesh, back in the day kids were lucky to have a toy or 2. amazingly, he plays with all of them every day at some point.
my big boys also have one laundry basket for toys. it is filled with nerf guns and a couple balls. they do have a computer and an xbox though…with 5 people in a small space i just can’t tolerate excess stuff. my husband and i have very little stuff too.
Tickling a plant and watching it move can be more fun then any toy. We grew our first TickleMe Plant and my children were amazirf and excited when it grew leaves that moved like crazy when Tickled! Growing a TickleMe Plant is a great way to excited kids about gardening and nature. Just search TickleMe Plant to order the kit to grow it.
See the video and pass it on if you know anyone that is a plant love and or has kids.
This list is priceless. It’s a battle in our home, and it has less to do with our children and more to do with family. I don’t buy toys anymore except for the holidays, even on birthdays. I know it sounds awful, but we always take them out for a fun experience and they get to pick what they want to eat and help make it; so they seem fine without birthday presents. We also make sure that all the toys are “smart” toys like Legos etc.
Excellent post, Joshua. Something we’ve done here (having visited, you probably remember the girls are not exactly lacking in toys!) is set aside things we think they are “done” with and see if they notice the missing items. If not, we will bring them out and have them “help” decide where or whom we’ll pass them on to. It’s an exercise both girls have been enthusiastic about because they realize the wider world isn’t always just about them. We certainly don’t want them to have “no” toys but they have learned the satisfaction of giving to others and now have gotten to a point where they will initiate the process of putting things aside when they come to the conclusion it would have a better home elsewhere.
It’s been 25 years since I’ve had to deal with the toy problem. 90% of it was over-generous family, because my son was the only little one amongst a family of many grandparents and great-aunts and great-uncles–it was clear that they got a huge kick out of shopping for toys. The Legos and simple wooden blocks were always played with, and books and art supplies never went to waste. Experiences, though, seem to stick more than toys.
When my son got a “big boy” bedroom, I had him help me build a generous-sized toybox (unlidded, of course) on casters, designed to fit under a long project table we set up for him. He did a pretty good job putting toys away on his own once he had that toybox. Then came video games…a whole ‘nother problem!
Tried this once when my oldest daughter was young. Fifteen years later, she still reminds me that she gave away Pinkie Mouse. =(
We stumbled upon an interesting way to handle too many toys! My son had received a set of screwdrivers as a gift during the holidays. One day, while he was playing alone in his room, he disassembled quite a few of his toys that had screws/electrical parts. He had more fun that day taking apart his toys and seeing how they were made. That was 3 years ago and he still loves taking things apart to see how they work. It was sort of his gateway into learning about computer chips, batteries, and a love of science! We remember it as “The great toy destroy of 2007″!
If goodwill won’t take your extra stuffed animals, you may want to consider donating them to your local animal shelter. Dogs don’t care that the stuffies have been previously loved.
When my siblings and I were rather young (ages 2-5), we moved right after Christmas.
All our brand new toys ended up in boxes in the basement that didn’t get unpacked.
The next Christmas, my parents were extremely short on cash, remembered the box in the basement full of toys, and re-wrapped our gifts from the previous year.
We had no idea and were super excited about all our new toys.
I don’t think most kids notice if they get 1 toy or 100. Given that, why not get into the habit of limiting the number of gifts given – ask family for ‘charity gifts’ (items from the World Vision catalog or donations to websites like “Kids Can Give Too”) so that your kids can get into the habit of giving early on in life?
I’m sure that there was some faddish toy that I begged my parents for when I was younger. And, given that my parents were short on cash when I was a child, I’m pretty sure that whatever over-priced, over-hyped toy it was, I probably didn’t get it. However, I can’t remember any specific instances. I’m not scarred from it. What I do remember is parents that read me bedtime stories, took me camping and, most importantly, loved me.
I think that it’s very important to limit toy buying to only special occasions. Last year for Christmas we practiced a new rule for our daughter, she would get four things, something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read. This worked out incredibly well, and I didn’t feel overwhelmed with shopping either.
I also try to buy handmade toys or make them myself when possible. Handmaking toys together can go a long way towards getting the child to appreciate the object, and respect it. It gives them pride and sparks their imaginations – even the simplest projects. The crafty crow (http://belladia.typepad.com/crafty_crow/) is a great resource for simple and beautiful projects for children – many made with recycled materials.
Finally, we also give our daughter a small allowance and encourage her to use it if there is something she just can’t live without. Not surprisingly, she’s not willing to spend her own money as liberally as ours. ;)
Nice post. We live in a small apartment, and so that combined with my striving for a minimalist list has meant that my 2 1/2 daughter has a small number of toys. I must admit that lately, she has started asking for things, but I generally invest in things that spark the imagination and lead to creativity. This has meant things like a basic tent, a box, art supplies and train tracks have made the cut. She really wanted one of those plastic cars recently, so I gave her a steering wheel (part of a non-working remote control car) and off we went on the couch (the “car”) to a far away place. As my stepfather says, all kids really need are a box, some sticks, and someone to play with. The more I adhere to this, the more magical our playtimes have been!
I agree with your stepfather. My kids play endlessly with boxes that have come in the mail. They could play all day in the dirt, with some water and sticks. Mud pie…yum!
Yet, we still have too many toys. I halved the amount of train tracks we have just last night, as well as their barbie toys. I’m getting there :)
The trouble isn’t we the parents buying toys — it’s all the toys we get from other people! We’re actually pretty lucky compared to most of our friends. We live in a small space and our family has seen how much room we have for toys — not much — and most of them have adjusted their gift giving accordingly. I really feel for my friends. They don’t want toys and no matter what they say they keep getting them. It’s so frustrating.
We are teaching out 3.5 year old that he does not need to have all the toys he sees in the shops, and that the ones he has do certain jobs just fine. We tell him those are for the children who don’t have toys yet and who will buy them. He’s perfectly happy with that. He is also happy just to look at the toys in the stores and we give him time to do that, he checks boxes, characters on them, plays with the models if there are some on the display, asks who or what something is, and then he moves on.
If it’s something he really wants and we approve of the toy, there is usually a way to get it as a reward (e.g he needs to collect all stickers on the sticker chart). That way we are trying to teach him patience and that he cannot have something straight away just because he had seen it there and then.
We have a big battle ahead of us with converting family members to the idea of not buying him certain types of toys (battery operated ones are not favored in our household) or letting them know that at least we’d like to be consulted what to buy him. Tough one. But every time we see him playing with some very “plain” stuff, like legos or empty boxes and containers, when it becomes evident how rich his imagination is, unspoiled by the instant entertainment or little focus due to too many distractions fighting for his attention, when we see how he breathes life into everyday objects and can be perfectly happy on the long journeys having conversation with us or looking through the car window, we know we’re doing the right thing.
All your points are very valid, but you also have to take into account the memories and sentimental value that some of us have regarding these toys. I just took my oldest boy to college a couple of weeks ago and emotionally it has been one of the most difficult things for me on a while. Now there is an empty room in my house with all kinds of toys and “memories” and last night and went in there an saw the Lego table with all the Legos that my son had accumulated during the last 18 years and in looking at these toys I can not but be sad and rejoice at the same time in all the memories my son and I built during the past few years playing and building things with those Legos. I would not change these memories for any minimalistic ideals. I will probably never get rid of these Legos until my son has children of his own and then pass them to him to be able to build the same memories the two of us had. In my honest opining giving an extreme amount of toys to our children to compete with the Joneses or to overcompensate for not spending quality time with out children is what is wrong.
I think there’s nothing wrong saving sentimental stuff, for as long as you have the space. I still have my own lego’s (which will be passed to our son once the newcomer is old enough not to eat them) and my wooden alphabet toys are already in use for the new generation. The problem is the non-sentimental stuff and the fact that there’s just too much of it for the kid to even care. Keeping the inflow of toys small and letting the kid to develop their own favourite toys is the way to go, and maybe their kids will enjoy them as well.
My mother-in-law had stored the best clothes of my husband’s baby/toddler years as well as all fancy toy cars he had. I was a blast to be able to clothe our son to his fathers awesome, cute, and well made retro clothing, and those cars are among his favorites (they reside at grandparents whom we visit often). Not to speak about having retro winter shoes that fit – finding shoes for him in store is difficult.
I also had favourite items as a kid (and not that many toys anyway). The point is not to give away what you love but the unnecessary.
I am not advocating “no toys”, just good toys and in moderation; controlled buying as opposed to random or consumerist rushing for the latest gadgets; playtime together as opposed to self-entertainment with the toys that require no imagination. Of course that emotions play a massive role, and they are what actually adds value to those toys. I see minimalism not as getting rid of everything but bare essentials, but having clear ideas of priorities and making conscientious choices that add to the quality of life.
p.s.
And by all means I am looking forward to keeping some of my son’s toys for his children some day.
My in-laws are wonderful, wise people. For birthdays, each child receives a membership (zoo, science centre etc) when young, and music/dance/sports lessons when older. My nieces are older than my boys, and their gifts to my sons are often things they’ve outgrown -books, CD’s, puzzles etc. We often give used games etc. in condition as well. This especially works well as both families live on marginal incomes, and it’s very freeing to find “just the perfect thing” at a garage sale or on craigslist.
Lisa, this is wonderful about memberships and classes. I will surely adopt it for my son’s next birthday, so thank you.
Talking about marginal incomes having direct effect on the gifts that we choose, I have recently read a really lovely post about minimalism which from the changed life circumstances became the lifestyle of choice http://joywithless.blogspot.com/
Last Christmas, we told our family “no toys” please, since our child had plenty of toys already and we have been trying downsize the number of toys. So, my grandmother gifted my child with a doll that she had made for me when I was a child. When we opened the gift and I saw that doll, I cried. I had played with this doll for hours as a child. It brought back wonderful memories of time spent at grandma’s house. Now my child is building new memories with this same doll. Sometimes the “recycled” toys, are the most loved.
I always felt bad culling our kids toys, since the ones they would choose to keep are almost never the ones I would choose, and I’m not the one playing with them. We now have “Toy Store” days: I collect all the family toys in one room, throwing out the trash and sorting. The kids go through with a basket (whatever size is appropriate), I decide to keep a few (I love the train set), and the rest go away. The kids choose what is important to them, and I don’t get rid of their beloved toy accidentally.
Hey Josh! I just found you here!
One to add to the “less toys” list….don’t take your kids to the toy store or toy section of a store. Pretty simple and it works to avoid the in-store temper tantrums. My kids (8,6 and 2) have never been in a Toys R Us.
For birthdays, we have started requesting donations to the local food bank instead of gifts. Our 2 year old is too young to notice or care and our 4 year old is old enough to understand the importance. They still get some toys, family usually will give a gift and close friends often bring a smaller gift (stickers or a book, or if they ask for our request, a specific quality toy), but we don’t end up with a dozen “worthless pieces of plastic”.
We also rotate our toys, so at any given time, half are stowed away and when they reappear, they are “new” again. This also makes it easier to purge toys because if I purge toys that are in the off cycle, it isn’t like something has all the sudden disappeared from the playroom.
And third is regifting to ourselves. We occasionally get toys that are too old at the time, or hand me down toys from friends. Rather than having all these out at once, we put them away and when it is time for gift giving occasions, we can bring these out as new.
I love living minimally! I have been a fan for years I read Don Aslett book when I was a kid and i was converted, my parenst are messy and they hoard so I can appreciate how fantastic life is when you are clutter free!
I have 2 boys 4 1/2 and 7 1/2 and have always been careful to ensure that they appreciate the things that they get. I still make mistakes and end up dejunking things but that is fine childrens needs change and ebay and charity shops are welcome to it
My grandmother has recently moved in with my parents so has more disposable income and time as my grandfather has gone into a residental home, she started buying my kids toys which were generally cheap inappropritae 5 minute wonders. I sat her down and had a chat about them needing to appreciate toys and that they are only to receive gifts on thei birthdays and christmas and she was totally fine I made it clear that I appreciated her input and love of my children
when my older boy was in reception he had a big birthday party and invited the entire class and other friends (50 kids) I insisted on no gifts only play dates, how could 1 small child open and appreciate 50 gifts?
I only give cash gifts £5 in a card is sufficient given the number of parties my kids go to (nearly every weekend) so that we dont clutter up other peoples lives
Kids today have such rich lives, my boys go to so many places and on so many trips compared to my childhhod these expereinces are much more valuable than a big pile of toys they will outgrow they will have their memories forever
OHHHH!! I think that THIS if the blog I’ve been searching for! I have tried to find someone to “talk” to about the need to declutter toys…how to get less here, less coming in!
Thanks!
My 5 year old will be having her very first birthday party in a couple of weeks and we are asking for NO gifts. This is such a tough one because when we are invited to other kids parties, it is expected to bring a gift. I’ve already spent $60 in the last couple of months on gifts for kids I don’t know. We want to instill in them that quality family time is important. We’ll go somewhere special, cook or go out for a favorite meal, pay for swim lessons etc…
How do I explain why we take a gift to a party, but won’t be receiving any for ourselves. My friend recently had a party and asked only for gently used toys for a charity. I like this idea too, so that’s an option.
P.S…our goody bags will consist of home-made play dough, a sunflower sprout, and fresh popcorn.
Jackie, that is just what we are doing next month for my son’s 6th birthday. We decided to invite my son’s whole kindergarten class (24) plus a couple of other friends, so we are having it at a park. This is a lot more kids than I would like at a party (usually we have about 10 kids), but his school is very small and has only 1 class in each grade level, so it ends up being easier to just invite them all. The prospect of all those gifts was disgusting, so we are also are having a no gifts party. I thought about a book exchange or donation to the food bank, which are great ideas, but decided to keep it even simpler by just saying bring only yourselves and have fun playing at the park. I told my son that he will get enough gifts from family. We do go to alot of parties and bring gifts, so he was a little disappointed at first but now is fine– he knows that we don’t have room for all those gifts. I also like your goody-bag idea!
Thank you for this! We have struggled our whole parenting lives (4 kiddos) and it is easy to lose the motivation to keep it simple. This is helpful for me to get back on the horse so to speak.
This is how I feel, your only a kid once. Fads and trends are what society is based off of. I am on a budget, but toys are part of being a kid. If the new Polly Pockets are what is popular, why would I buy my daughter a “educational video game”? I believe kids should have fun. I’m not saying buy them every toy on the self, I’m saying that toys make memories. And a toy library…really? I would my child to keep her first baby doll forever. I’m an adult, and I still feel like a child when I look at my old baby doll and cabbage patch. In addition, my children never have temper tantrums in a store, I raised them right. If they want something, they tell me, if they do well in school or its their birthday soon, I’ll get the stupid $20 toy. It’s that simple. Our country is not that poor, that we need to be like “our children can’t have what they want.”
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