“If you make a habit of buying things you do not need, you will soon be selling things you do.” —Filipino Proverb
Our experiences hint at it. Studies confirm it.
Buying material things don’t make us happy.
The pursuit and purchase of physical possessions will never fully satisfy our desire for happiness. It may result in temporary joy for some, but the happiness found in buying a new item rarely lasts longer than a few days. Researchers even have a phrase for this temporary fulfillment: retail therapy.
There are many reasons buying more material things won’t make us happy.
9 Reasons Buying Material Things Won’t Make You Happy
They all begin to fade. All possessions are temporary by nature. They look shiny and new in the store. But immediately, as soon as the package is opened, they begin to perish, spoil, or fade.
There is always something new right around the corner. New models, new styles, new improvements, and new features. From clothes and cars to kitchen gadgets and technology, our world moves forward. And planned obsolescence makes sure our most recent purchase will be out of use sooner rather than later.
Each purchase adds extra worry to our lives. Every physical item we bring into our lives represents one more thing that can be broken, scratched, or stolen.
Possessions require maintenance. The things we own require time, energy, and focus. They need to be cleaned, organized, managed, and maintained. And as a result, they often distract us from the things that truly do bring us lasting happiness.
Our purchases cost us more than we realize. In stores, products are measured in dollars and cents. But as Henry David Thoreau once said, “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” We don’t buy things with money, we buy them with hours from our lives.
We discover other people aren’t all that impressed. Subconsciously (and sometimes even consciously), we expect our newest purchases will impress other people. They will notice our new car, computer, jacket, or shoes. But most of the time, they are less impressed than we think. Instead, most of them are too busy trying to impress you with their newest purchase.
Someone else always has more. The search for happiness in possessions is always short-lived because it is based on faulty reasoning that buckles under its own weight. If happiness is found in buying material things and more stuff, those with more will always be happier. The game can never be won.
Shopping does not quench our desire for contentment. Contentment is never found in the purchase of more stuff. Our overflowing closets and drawers stand as proof. No matter how much we get, it’s never enough.
Experiences make us happier than possessions. All research points to the fact there are far more effective way to find happiness: enjoying life-changing experiences, for example.
And 1 Thing that Might
Adyashanti, the American-born spiritual teacher, offers a theory as to why the acquisition of new possessions provides only a temporal feeling of happiness. He explains it this way:
When we make a purchase and/or get what we want, we are temporarily happy and fulfilled. But the reason for happiness is not because we got what we wanted, but because for a brief period of time, we stopped wanting, and thus we experience peace and happiness.
On the topic of buying stuff, his thoughts are helpful. And I have repeated his theory dozens of times in private conversations. Of course, the natural conclusion of this thinking is to limit our desires and wants—to find peace and happiness by not wanting.
But for me, this conclusion falls short.
The goal of minimalism is not to remove desire entirely from my life. Instead, the goal of minimalism is to redirect my desires.
There are valuable pursuits available to us: love, justice, faith, compassion, contribution, redemption, just to name a few. These should be pursued with great fervor. But far too often, we trade the pursuit of lasting fulfillment for temporary happiness. We can do better. We can dream bigger.
Redirect your desires toward lasting pursuits. Find happiness there.
You will never find the right things looking in the wrong places. (tweet that)
Vishnu says
Hi Josh, retail therapy and buying for happiness won’t work. If we are basing our worth, our happiness or our fulfillment on purchases, there’s a problem.
But buying stuff in and of itself isn’t bad if we have a healthy approach to it. I purchase things to make my life easier, more comfortable or help me improve myself in some way. I take time to make the decision, research it and then make the purchase. And only when I absolutely need to. Last year, I probably bought 2 pieces of clothing – not for the sake of happiness but out of necessity (and comfort!)
How about a middle ground – mindful buying for comfort/practicality?
Bocheng says
Like you, I now only buy things when I absolutely need to, or at least I try to. Having said that, from what I read I didn’t sense the feeling that he’s saying that people should stop buying things altogether or that buying stuff itself is a bad thing. He’s just saying that don’t try to pursue happiness through buying and acquiring material things. So I think buying things out of absolute necessity is definitely okay.
Lea says
Another great post! To me these are all true and the 2 that have stood out to me for a long time are “Our purchases cost us more than we realize”, that price is time and we don’t get time back. Time away from those we love, time away from doing what we enjoy. And also “Experiences make us happier than possessions” which is connected to the first one, to me. If for example I say no to desired, unneeded purchase I get to say yes to to being with loved ones, yes to gas $ for volunteering my time doing something with more personal meaning, and growth. Yes to the things that bring me joy, happiness and a sense that hopefully I’m helping others.
Laura says
And then there are Jesus’ famous words on the subject: “There is more happiness in giving than in receiving…” Food for thought.
Mariel Boldis says
After two years in dabbling and applying minimalism in my life, I am beginning to realize that the happiness doesn’t lie in giving things up or wanting more things. At first I really thought if I downsized, I would find my happiness. After all, so many people that advocate for minimalism are. What I didn’t immediately realize was that the direction in which happiness is sought for is redirected. Just as you mentioned—passion, love, compassion, etc., are the things to consume in our lives for a more fulfilling one. Thank you for sharing this.
Jessica says
“Redirect your desires toward lasting pursuits. Find happiness there.”
So easy and yet so difficult.
Your arguments about why buying stuff won’t make us happy are absolutely right I think. Nevertheless, when we don’t follow the direction of happiness that is given by society and that most of the people seem to follow, the question is: What does make you happy? What is such a “lasting pursuit”? A question I am still ultimately stuggling to find the answer to. Quick happiness is achieved easily, but long-term happiness is so difficult!
Susan Taylor says
I’m normally one of the choir you are preaching to. I still am, in the sense that my desires for “more, more, more” have definitely been redirected. But yesterday I did something I rarely do — bought two new books at a bookstore. I took my daughter with me. We had a wonderful time together.
Sure, as soon as I crack open the book, it will begin to look less new. But I bought the book specifically so I could interact with it by marking in it, something I do not do with library books.
I’ve decluttered a bunch of books out of my home and I’m glad I did. But it is very important to me to stay pliable and open to experiences. If I pursue minimalism too drastically, with my temperament, I can get extreme in my thinking.
I didn’t buy these books because I was looking for happiness. Nor was I under any illusion that buying them was going to make me a happier person. But the whole experience, including especially sharing it with my daughter, was a lovely thing.
I love what josh is doing and I appreciate this resource. I just thought of respond today with how this honestly struck me.
Tracy B. says
Susan, I like what you said. It sounds like buying those books is going to be a gratifying experience for you because you will read them and take the time to mark them up.
I’ve bought my share of things that didn’t deliver, but more often I’ve bought great things that I didn’t take the time to sit down with. It wasn’t that the stuff was inherently unsatisfying, it was me, not reading the instructions or developing skill with it or not learning all the features. So sometimes it’s lack of patience and motivation that causes us to flit from one new thing to the next.
Stacy@AWellStockedLife says
We tend to be “minimalists” in terms of purchases, but book buying is not where I practice minimalism–and since you are a parent (as I am) they really are special for many reasons (as you’ve shared).
Book are not merely a product they encapsulate new and old ideas, morals, history, and imagination (just to name few). They are not only a source of entertainment but are also a source of enlightenment. I am an English teacher and for my own children I know that books will provide them with a better life and homes that are “literacy rich” homes (simply meaning you’ve got a whole lot of books available) are homes where children do better academically regardless of household income.
We do use our library cards a lot, and I’ve been known to donate books we have outgrown to reduce clutter. However, I make sure that we have good literature available 24/7 in our home library–accessible to little fingers and growing minds everyday.
I think minimalism is reducing what is not important and giving honor to what is important.
Susan, your books added a piece of happiness to your life that day and it took a few dollars to do it, and they will continue to bring you happiness I bet. Resources are best spent on what makes us happier, and on some days money does lead us to happiness–we just can’t believe money can provide it everyday–that is where I think society takes a tumble. Thanks for sharing:)
John W. Olson says
Books are friends, you can never have too many. Some are more valuable than others,
Julie says
Love your comment John. So true.
Anita says
Susan, every time you look at that book, you are not only going to enjoy the book itself again and again, you are going to relive the wonderful time you had with your daughter that day. Isn’t it great that when your life takes on a minimalist attitude, you have the time to enjoy such things without the clutter.
BrownVagabonder says
The concept of exchanging your life hours for your purchases really hit a chord with me when I first read about it. I was shocked because I realized just how much time I spent slogging away at work for each purchase, no matter how minor. From then on, figuring out the life hours for each purchase puts things into perspective and I end up not buying most of those items. I also love the idea of redirecting your desires. I direct them towards building more experiences and working towards financial freedom. Thanks for the post!
Shayera says
As a society, we have managed to convince ourselves that our self-worth and happiness are contingent on what we possess, but this false thinking has driven so many people into insurmountable debt and suicide. – http://msshayera.blogspot.com/2014/02/debt-what-is-it-good-for-absolutely.html
Oliver says
There’s the saying “The things you own end up owning you.” and I think there’s more than the proverbial grain of truth in these words. Shopping seems to be the modern mantra reciting a certain formula of freedom and happiness. We kind of justify being part of the “rat race” and tend to clutter our life with things that fill the awkward emptiness…
I also really like the Thoreau, I didn’t know that one before. However, it reminds me very much of the good old Robert Louis Stevenson quote “The price we have to pay for money is sometimes liberty.”…
Thanks again for your morning inspiration Josh and have a good one! :)
Fiona says
Thanks for the reminder. I find myself drawn to both minimalism AND shopping, alternately! Part of the process of becoming more minimalist, I guess. I buy less, and choose more thoughtfully than I used to, and resist items, but retail therapy still works for me far better than I would like … mostly window shopping, of course, the thrill of the chase … and habit. I’m slowly making changes, such as doing my grocery shopping away from the big mall/shopping centre, so less temptation from other stores, and more time for more meaningful things in life. I think part of our problem is a lack of other physical things to do in the suburbs, especially if the weather outside is not great – it’s just too easy to go shopping.
laura m. says
Fiona: I am same way, but mainlu go for end of season clearance going on now, with major markdowns. Then I pull out older stuff and donate to various group homes in my area twice a yr. Can’t understand why people store unwanted stuff and stash it somewhere and forget it. If stuff is not being used, it’s passed on in usable cond.. I don’t care to compete with anyone, since I live a non social life (retired) and have hobbies (reading and computer) at home. We are outdoor types and do hiking, bicycling, going to local parks, gardens, etc. I hate house clutter and my style is minimalist/contemporary.
Tim says
Stating you’re not trying to compete with anyone and you’re living a non social life, and yet ironically being on this site. Knowing the particular name for the lifestyle you’re trying to pursue. That’s odd.
Heather says
I do this too. :-) But I try to operate by the “one in, one out” rule when I do shop. I also try and ask myself “Do I have something that performs this task already?” Like now, for instance, I really have this new shampoo I want to try, but eesh, I have 2 other sets still in my cabinet. When they’re gone, I will buy the new shampoo. And that is my reward!