Recently, my parents bought a smaller house. And this past week, while on vacation in South Dakota (yeah, I vacation in South Dakota), I got to see it for the first time. During our stay, I was surprised at how often my mother commented that “they just love their smaller house.” I wasn’t so much surprised that she felt that way (I am a minimalist after all), but I was surprised at the frequency. It was a comment that she repeated over and over again during our one-week stay.

Toward the end of the week, I sat down with my mom and asked her to list all of the reasons why she is experiencing more happiness in her smaller house. And this post was written… my first post co-authored with my mother.

12 Reasons Why You’ll Be Happier in a Smaller House by Joshua and Patty Becker (I get top billing because it is my blog).

People buy larger homes for a number of reasons:

• They “outgrow” their smaller one.
• They receive a promotion and raise at work.
• They are convinced by a realtor that they can afford it.
• They hope to impress others.
• They think a large home is the home of their dreams.

Another reason people keep buying bigger and bigger homes is because no one tells them not to. The mantra of the culture again comes calling, “buy as much and as big as possible.” They believe the lie and choose to buy a large home only because that’s ”what you are supposed to do” when you start making money… you buy nice, big stuff.

Nobody ever tells them not to. Nobody gives them permission to pursue smaller, rather than larger. Nobody gives them the reasons they may actually be happier in a smaller house.

So, in an attempt to break the silence, consider these 12 reasons why you’ll actually be happier in a smaller house:

1. Easier to maintain. Anyone who has owned a house knows the amount of time, energy, and effort to maintain it. All things being equal, a smaller home requires less of your time, energy, and effort to accomplish that task.
2. Less time spent cleaning. And that should be reason enough…
3. Less expensive. Smaller homes are less expensive to purchase and less expensive to keep (insurance, taxes, heating, cooling, electricity, etc.).
4. Less debt and less risk. Dozens of on-line calculators will help you determine “how much house you can afford.” These formulas are based on net income, savings, current debt, and monthly mortgage payments. They are also based on the premise that we should spend ”28% of our net income on our monthly mortgage payments.” But if we can be more financially stable and happier by only spending 15%… then why would we ever choose to spend 28?
5. Mentally Freeing. As is the case with all of our possessions, the more we own, the more they own us. And the more stuff we own, the more mental energy is held hostage by them. The same is absolutely true with our largest, most valuable asset. Buy small and free your mind.
6. Less environmental impact. A smaller home requires less resources to build and less resources to maintain. And that benefits all of us.
7. More time. Many of the benefits above (less cleaning, less maintaining, mental freedom) result in the freeing up of our schedule to pursue the things in life that really matter – whatever you want that to be.
8. Encourages family bonding. A smaller home results in more social interaction among the members of the family. And while this may be the reason that some people purchase bigger homes, I think just the opposite should be true.
9. Forces you to remove baggage. Moving into a smaller home forces you to intentionally pare down your belongings.
10. Less temptation to accumulate. If you don’t have any room in your house for that new treadmill, you’ll be less tempted to buy it in the first place (no offense to those of you who own a treadmill… and actually use it).
11. Less decorating. While some people love the idea of choosing wall color, carpet color, furniture, window treatments, decorations, and light fixtures for dozens of rooms, I don’t.
12. Wider market to sell. By its very definition, a smaller, more affordable house is affordable to a larger percentage of the population than a more expensive, less affordable one.

Your home is a very personal decision that weighs in a large number of factors that can’t possibly be summed up in one 700 word post. This post was not written to address each of them. Only you know all the variables that come into play when making your decision.

I just think you’ll be happier if you buy smaller… rather than the other way around.

The following is an excerpt from the upcoming e-book, Inside-Out Simplicity.

This spring, I ran my first marathon. Going in, the endeavor was about realizing a dream and proving to myself that I could do it. However, along the way, I experienced countless other benefits. I got into shape (just in time for summer), I made new friends, I enjoyed hours of quiet reflection on my life, and I learned some valuable lessons about life. In short, it became a true life-changing experience.

Of all the life-changing lessons I learned, perhaps the most significant was the importance of competing less and encouraging more. Marathon runners are notorious for offering encouragement to one another. They understand an important race principle: there is room at the finish line for all of us. It isn’t all about winning or losing, it’s about the experience and being in it together. As a result, the entire 26.2 mile race was filled with encouragement from bystanders and competitors completely committed to helping the other racers finish strong.

Those of us seeking simplicity can learn a lot from marathon runners. Admittedly, I have spent most of my years on earth competing against others rather than encouraging them in the journey. It was so important for me to succeed that I often tore others down rather than building them up. Looking back, I owe them all an apology. I wish I had competed less and encouraged more.

I have come to realize that the mindset of competition is based on a faulty premise. It assumes there is a finite sized pie – that one more success in another’s life equals one less success in mine. But quite frankly, this thinking is incorrect. The size of the pie is not finite.

In reality, the pie keeps growing. Another’s success does not mean I have less shot at it. In fact, another’s success can actually be my success if I had an opportunity to encourage and promote them along the way!

This is a life-changing revelation and important key to experiencing simplicity in life.

To put this into practice, try some of these practical, mind-set changing ideas to encourage others:

• Refuse to speak negatively of other people (publically or privately).
• Send consumers to other competing businesses if they can better meet their individual needs.
• Use cards, telephone calls, and emails to offer encouragement to those around you.
• Publicly promote other people’s success stories.
• Ask how you can come alongside to help.
• Share your ideas with others. The free-flow of information will always come back around to you.
• Attend local, community events and promote a “teammate mentality.”

This world has always been big enough for all of us. I just wish it hadn’t taken a 4½ hour run for me to figure that out.

Good art enters the soul, appeals to the heart, and makes new ideas plausible.

We are excited to announce that our new e-book will be released on Monday, July 26 at 9:00am EST.

The book, “Inside-Out Simplicity: Life-Changing Keys to your Most Important Relationships” is a 360 degree approach to a simplified lifestyle that goes well beyond the external fixes to our complicated lives and focuses on the heart issues required for a simplified life. It is based on the premise that a truly simplified lifestyle begins in a person’s soul. And it will help the reader find an inside-out simplicity by focusing on the key life-changing principles necessary in their most important relationships.

It is meant to challenge you. 

It is meant to encourage you.

It is meant to inspire you.

And it is destined to help you find a simpler way of life. 

As would be expected, we have written much of this book “out-loud” on Becoming Minimalist. It features some of our previously published works on key principles such as contentment, generosity, intentionality, and forgiveness. However, contrary to the format of this blog, the articles have been strategically arranged and organized in the book format.

In addition, Inside-Out Simplicity features over 33% never-before-published material on topics including humility, speech, spirituality and sexuality (just to name a few). Each time, the life-changing keys are featured as an element in our most important relationships and include practical steps to begin incorporating them into our lives.

Inside-Out Simplicity will become available on Monday morning for $11.99. And we think you’re going to like it.

ATTENTION BLOGGERS: We will again be offering 50% commission for referring affiliates.

In addition, to help promote the launch, we intend to release 50 preview copies to bloggers who desire to post a review (good, bad, or indifferent) on their website. If you desire to be among the first to read “Inside-Out Simplicity” and post a review near its release date, please complete the form below. Only the first 50 submissions will receive the advance copy. 

UPDATE*  We have already received our 50 requests for the e-book! We’ll see you at our launch on Monday.

“Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin, and an antiseptic.”  - John Henry Jowet

Gratitude matters.

A grateful heart is a content heart. A content heart is a simple heart. And a simple heart leads to a simplified life.

Gratitude opens the door to both simplicity and minimalism. Consider the fact that a person who is grateful for the things in their life will care for them more, enjoy them more and waste less energy seeking more. They will experience joy in life by finding fulfillment in the gifts they already possess rather than looking outside themselves for fulfillment. And that is the very essence of minimalism.

Yet, we live in a culture that preaches discontent. A consumer culture will always attack gratitude. If they can sow seeds of discontent in our lives, they can sell us on their new product line or latest version with new improvements. In contrast, those who can find gratitude in their current existence will be less influenced by those empty promises.

But how can we find gratitude in a world that seeks to destroy it?

1. Choose gratitude today. Gratitude will never be a result of your next purchase, success, or accomplishment. It is available in your heart right now. And you will never find gratitude in life until you intentionally decide to choose it.
2. Count your blessings: a new day, a warm bed, a loving spouse, a child in your life, a unique personality, or a special talent… You have wonderful things in your life already. Gratitude quickly sets in when we begin to spend a quiet moment each day remembering them. This practice alone has the potential to change your heart and life immeasurably.
3. Stop focusing on what you don’t have. Too many people never realize gratitude because they spend so much mental energy focused on what they don’t have. Throw away catalogs and advertisements that inevitably promise you more fulfillment and joy in life. Those things are not sold in stores – never have been, never will be.
4. Embrace humility. Humility is an essential ingredient in gratitude. A humble heart finds satisfaction in the gifts it already possesses and demands less from others and life. Remember that no matter what your accomplishments, your life contains no more inherent value than the person sitting next to you… no matter where you may be sitting.
5. Open your eyes to those with less. Almost half the world — over three billion people — live on less than $2.50 a day. 1.1 billion people have inadequate access to clean water, and 2.6 billion lack basic sanitation. Let those facts sink in for just a moment… and slowly allow gratitude and a desire to become part of the solution to take their place.
6. Find gratitude in difficulty. It is easy to be grateful when things are going well. It can be more difficult during the trials of life: death, disease, rejection, or failure. The truth is that no one is exempt from the trials of life, but good can always be found in even the worst of times. And embracing gratitude during those trials may be the one thing that gets you through them.

In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy. And that gratefulness quickly leads to a satisfied, simplified life.

“The glow of one warm thought is to me worth more than money.” – Thomas Jefferson

1. A good friend.
2. A committed spouse.
3. A respectful child.
4. A loving hug.
5. A friendly neighbor.
6. Health.
7. Laughter.
8. Integrity.
9. A peaceful soul.
10. Self-confidence.
11. Contentment.
12. Significance.
13. Humility.
14. Freedom.
15. Reputation.
16. Faith.
17. Influence.
18. Self-discipline.
19. A clear conscience.
20. Overcoming a fear.
21. Conviction of purpose.
22. Opportunity to change.
23. Life-changing art.
24. A fulfilling career.
25. No regret.

“Know, first, who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly.” – Epictetus

Consider for just a moment how your life would look different if you owned fewer clothes:

• You would have more disposable income.
• You would have more time to live your life.
• Mornings would feature less stress.
• Your closets would be well-organized and uncluttered.
• Packing for trips/vacations would take less time.
• Laundry days would be easier (not necessarily less, but definitely easier).

Unfortunately, instead of enjoying the benefits of owning fewer clothes, most of us buy into the lie that more is better. And because we do, we accumulate more and more clothing each season. We are convinced that new clothes will make us more joyful, more fashionable, and more popular. Unfortunately, they just end up getting in the way.

Consider going a different route with your life. Try owning fewer clothes. You may be surprised at how much you enjoy the freedom that it brings.

Whether you are hoping to minimize your wardrobe to the absolute minimum or just trying to pare down some of the excess in your closet, you will find these 10 steps practical and applicable. They are the same steps that we have used in our home:

1. Admit that you own too much clothing. That’s all you really need to get started.
2. Wear fewer colors. Most of us already have a few favorite colors that we wear most often anyway – usually because we like the way we look in them. Choosing to intentionally wear fewer colors means less accessories (shoes, belts, jewelry, handbags, etc.). It also makes too much sense not to try.
3. Embrace the idea of one. When one can be enough, embrace it – one black dress, one swimsuit, one winter coat, one black belt, one pair of black shoes, one pair of sneakers, one handbag… insert your own based on your occupation, lifestyle, or climate.
4. Donate, sell, recycle, discard. Depending on the size of one’s existing wardrobe, an initial paring down won’t take long. Make a few piles – donate, sell, or recycle. Start with the clothes that you no longer wear. You’ll be surprised how much you can remove.
5. Donate, sell, discard some more. Removing the clothes you no longer wear is easy. Removing the clothes that you don’t really need can be a tougher choice. Turn around all the hangers in your closet. After the season, remove every article of clothing that wasn’t worn. That should help get you started on a second round of paring down.
6. Impose an arbitrary moritorium on shopping. For many, clothes shopping is just a habit – and habit always takes over for inattention. To begin breaking the cycle of purchasing and discarding (the average American throws away 68 lbs. of textiles each year), set a self-imposed buying freeze. I recommend 90 days. If given enough time, this simple exercise in self-discipline will change your view of your clothing and the stores that produce, market, and sell them.
7. Set a monthly spending limit. Pick a low number and stick to it.
8. Purchase quality over quantity. Only buy clothing that you truly love – even if it costs more. If you stock your closet full of things you love, you will have less desire to add to it.
9. Avoid the sale racks. Sales can (and should) be used to help you get a better price on something you need. Unfortunately, most sale racks are designed to convince us to purchase something we don’t.
10. Impress with your character, not your clothes. Lee Mildon once said, “People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.”

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Lynn Fang of Upcycled Love.

“Every generation needs a new revolution.” – Thomas Jefferson

In my eyes, minimalists are enlightened individuals who want to get the most out of life. They have depth of heart, heightened awareness, and a great deal of courage.

Others often brush minimalism off as something only for the highly principled and disciplined, an unrealistic vision exclusively for those living on the fringe of society. Without a doubt, though, minimalism is growing, seeping slowly into the mainstream.

Its appeal, as readers here know, makes sense considering the context of overconsumption, recession, and environmental degradation. Minimalism is about so much more than the number of items you own, however few. As Jeffrey Tang puts it, minimalists are high connoisseurs of life. According to Brett Oblack, the number one reason for minimalism is more time. More time to live, of course.

Time, experience, life. These are the main themes behind minimalism. What can a non-minimalist learn from a minimalist? How can minimalism change society?

The Power of Minimalism
First and foremost, minimalism is a paradigm shift. Its greatest effect is encouraging people to think, perceive, and behave in a new direction: towards less materialism, and more positive life experiences. Minimalism redefines the nature of life, everyday and overall. Society teaches us to attach our status and reputation to the items we own – luxury brands, the latest gadgets, or the most fashionable attire. Minimalism teaches us to move away from this mentality.

The minimalist, like a scientist, asks,

• What does it mean to live?
• What are the basic essentials of a meaningful life?
• Is that all we need to be happy?

It’s a journey in search of the essentials of living a happy and meaningful life. By taking away clutter, focusing on time and life experiences, the minimalist has few frivolous distractions to lure her into overconsumption and debt. It’s an experiment, in a sense, to see what type of lifestyle can bring about the most happiness and meaning. The best way to start, as all good science does, is with the essentials.

Minimalism in Society
There is great power in the asking of these questions to actually redefine society.
Ultimately, society and culture are what we as individual members make it. If each individual member of our society chose to ask these questions in search of happier lives, we would live in a very different world. Most likely, this world would be much more peaceful, more community-oriented, less damaging to the environment, and, most importantly, happier.

The evidence for minimalism’s effects are clear: Every non-minimalist will begin questioning their possessions, life activities, use of personal time, the experiences they want to create, and capacity to contribute something useful. In effect, minimalism has planted the seeds of change. I know it’s affected my life in this way.

Even if strict minimalism doesn’t spread that far, its message can resonate with everyone, and I do mean everyone. It’s a focus on living life: Imagine a society sharply focused on the experiences that truly matter.

***

Lynn Fang is on a mission to raise awareness, reduce her impact, and spread love and knowledge. Read all about it at her blog, Upcycled Love. You can also follow her on Twitter.

“I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate. It is, above all to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.” – Leo Rosten

Financial success is a powerful motivator. And it controls the lives of many. It chooses occupations. It dictates how time, energy, and resources are spent. It influences relationships, schedules, and families. To some, it even becomes an all-consuming passion that leaves broken people and morality in its wake.

Unfortunately, it is not the greatest call that we have on our lives. In fact, compared to significance, it fades pretty quickly.

Consider the limitations of success:

• Success ebbs and flows with the economy. As recent years have proven, financial success is always at the mercy of a national economy and increasingly, a world economy. When the economy takes a downturn (as it always does), so does net worth.
• Success ends on the day you die. On the day you die, all wealth and possessions will be immediately transferred to someone else. And even if you get to pick where they go, the reality is that person is always someone other than you.
• Success is never enough. Financial success will never satisfy the inmost desires of our soul. No matter the amount of financial success earned, it always leaves us wanting more.

On the other hand, compare the advantages of significance:

• Significance always lasts. Significance will always outlast you. Even when you are no longer present, your significance will still be yours. And nothing can ever take that away from you.
• Significance carries on. Significance keeps on giving. When you positively change the life of another human being…  and that person changes the life of another… who impacts the life of another… who influences another…
• Significance satisfies our soul. While the thirst for success is never quenched, significance satisfies our deepest heart and soul. It allows us to lay our head on our pillow each night confident that we lived a valuable and fulfilling day.

Unfortunately, many people spend most of their lives chasing financial success. And while some achieve it more than others, almost all find it unfulfilling in the end. When they begin to shift their life focus to significance instead of success, they wonder why they wasted most of their life chasing something different.

Don’t waste any of your life. Seek significance today.

Here are just a few practical steps to get you started:

1. Realize that life won’t last forever. Everyone knows that life will come to an end – but no one likes to think about it. That’s unfortunate. As soon as you start thinking about the end of your life, you begin to live differently in the present. You are never too young to start thinking about your legacy. How do you want people to remember you? And what do you really want to accomplish before you die? Make a list. Post it somewhere… because rarely will “drive a really nice car” ever appear.
2. Live a life worth copying. Live with character, integrity, and morality. Your life should look the same in private as it does in public. And while no one is perfect, just begin striving for a life of integrity. It will be noticed.
3. Focus on people. Not dollars. Begin to transfer your life’s focus from your banking account to the people around you. Rather than worrying about the next get-rich-quick scheme, spend that energy focusing on your child, your neighbor, or the disadvantaged in your community.
4. Start with one solitary person. Find one person who needs you today. Start there. Significance may be as inexpensive as one cup of coffee or as simple as one heartfelt question. If you are unsure where to start, try this, “No, how are you really doing?”
5. Find a career outside your job. Sometimes, our day job leads to significance. But if yours does not, find a “career of significance” outside of your job by volunteering in a local organization. Most likely, your gifts, talents, or expertise are desperately needed. Use your job to pay the bills, but use your “new career” to pay your soul.
6. Realize that significance is not dependent upon success. Too many people fall into the trap of thinking, “Once I make it rich, I’ll become significant.” This is rarely the case. Choose significance today. Begin striving for it now. If, then, financial success comes your way in the future, your mind will be in a better place to truly use your new success for broader significance.
7. Reduce your expenses. Learn to live with less. Living with less frees up your life to invest into others. And living with reduced expenses allows you the freedom to not spend so much time at the office and more resources on others.
8. Read biographies of people who sought significance rather than success. If you prefer recent history, read about Mother Teresa or Nelson Mandela. If you prefer older stories, give Mohandas Gandhi or Harriet Tubman a shot. Either way, their lives will inspire you to make more of yours.

Rarely do people look back on their lives and savor their professional achievements. Instead, they celebrate the impact they have had in the lives of others. Give yourself much to look back and celebrate. Stop chasing success. Start seeking significance.

“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” - Angela Schwindt

Children add joy, purpose, and fulfillment to our lives. They bring us smiles, optimism, and cheerful attitudes. And given the chance, they will teach us valuable lessons about life.

Certainly, growing children (physically, socially, intellectually, and emotionally) have added a new dimension to our minimalist journey, but I would’t want it any other way. In fact, some of the most important lessons about life and minimalism have been learned by watching my children. Consider these…

1. One neighborhood friend is worth more than a basement full of toys. My two kids can spend countless hours with their neighborhood friends running from yard to yard, playing tag, catching bugs, or swinging on swings. They can spend every afternoon and evening together without being bored. But take them away from their friends for one Saturday at home with their toys… and boredom almost immediately sets in. The joy of playing alone in a roomful of toys quickly fades. LIFE LESSON: Relationships with others are always more exciting and fulfilling than possessions.

2. Clothes are not worn to impress others. My First Grade son has two requirements for his clothing: 1) that he can get them dirty and 2) that he won’t get too hot. He has never worn a shirt to impress a girl or a pair of slacks to impress his teacher. (He has worn a shirt and slacks because his parents asked him to, but that’s a different subject). I don’t think the idea of trying to impress others by wearing the latest fashions has ever crossed his mind. He feels no pressure to conform or impress. And thus, he’s simply content with a clean tanktop and shorts. LIFE LESSON: Wear clothing for its usefulness rather than as an attempt to impress others.

3. Life’s pains are healed best by a hug and a kiss… not new toys. My daughter falls down often (as most four year olds do). And when she skins her knee, she only wants one thing – her mommy to pick her up, give her a kiss, and tell her that everything is going to be okay. She doesn’t ask for a new toy… she only desires love and security. She has found the antidote to pain and wouldn’t trade it for anything else. LIFE LESSON: Don’t look towards ”things” to soothe the pain we encounter in life. Instead, seek love, acceptance, and security.

4. Fancy possessions and character are completely unrelated. I love helping in my son’s First Grade classroom because Kindergarten and First Grade may be the only places left on earth where labels don’t exist. At age 7, everyone is accepted and everyone plays with everyone else. Each person starts the day on equal footing. Nobody is pre-judged by the house that they live in or the clothes that they wear. Oh, that our world would begin to resemble a first-grade classroom. LIFE LESSON: Judge people by their hearts and character, not by the meaningless externals of life.

5. Too many toys in a box only get in the way of the good ones. A funny thing happens after holidays. A mountain of new toys enter my childrens’ lives. The toys are initially meant with incredible excitement. However, after two or three days, they are pushed to the side as my kids return to the tried-and-true toys they had been playing with long before the holiday ever occurred. The new toys we thought would make them happier, don’t. Instead, they just start to get in the way. LIFE LESSON: We often think that material possessions will bring lasting excitement into our life, but most of the time they just end up getting in the way.   

6. The more toys you play with, the more time you spend cleaning them up. Because we clean up every night before bed (well, almost every night), our kids understand this pretty simple equation. The more toys we pull out of the closet, the more time we spend cleaning them up. And conversely, the less time we spend actually enjoying them. LIFE LESSON: The more possessions we own, the more of our time is required to care for them, clean them, organize and sort them.

7. A hike in the woods beats a new video game anyday. Video games simply can not compete with the graphics, the full-sensory experience, or the relationship of a family walk through the woods. Never have, never will. And for that matter, nothing else produced on televsion can compete either. LIFE LESSON: Turn off the television. Go outside. Live life, don’t just watch it.

Perhaps children are in this world because we as grown-ups have so much left to relearn…

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” - Mahatma Gandhi

A simplified life is light, easy, and free. It is a life that has thoughtfully and intentionally removed many of the things that weigh us down.

On the outside, this can be accomplished by removing many of the material possessions that demand our attention.

But what about on the inside? Many of us carry in our hearts a heavy burden of past hurts from others. Because we live our lives in relationship with other people, we are bound to be wronged by somebody along the way. And sometimes these hurts can be very deep and heavy when they come from someone close. Carrying the weight of these burdens can result in a life of resentment and bitterness. Simply put, our lives get trapped in the past. And as a result, many become depressed or anxious.

The path to removing this internal weight is to experience the life-freeing power of forgiveness. Learning to forgive others releases burden and brings freedom back to our heart. It results in less stress, less hostility, lower blood pressure, and reduced symptoms of depression. In addition, it provides the opportunity to live a simplified life on the outside and the inside.

To experience the life-giving nature of forgiveness, try putting into practice these six steps each time you are hurt by another person.

1. Admit that you have needed forgiveness in the past. We all make mistakes. We’ve all hurt other people in the past. One of the key steps in being able to practice the power of forgiveness is to realize that you have needed forgiveness at some point in your life too. When we are able to humbly admit that we have needed forgiveness from another, we are in a better position to offer forgiveness to someone who has hurt us. 
2. Understand what forgiveness is not. You were wronged. Don’t minimize the offense by pretending it didn’t happen. Granted, if you were hurt accidentally, you only need to show patience. But if you were hurt intentionally, you’ll need to accept that fact and show forgiveness.
3. Realize the difference between forgiveness and trust. One of the most misunderstood aspects of forgiveness is when it is confused with trust. Depending on the nature of the offense, your ability to trust has been deeply compromised. Forgiving somebody does not mean that you need to restore that relationship without changes. Remember that forgiveness can be instant, but trust must be built over a period of time. Realize the difference. While offering forgiveness brings freedom, being wise about trust can protect your heart in the future.
4. Give up your right to get even. Too many people live life keeping score. They keep a mental list of people who have wronged them in the past and live their life looking for opportunities to get even. Forgiveness provides the opportunity to erase the list and to release your heart from the burden of revenge.
5. Choose to respond with kindness. Anyone can respond to evil with evil. But only the strong can respond with good. Kindness breaks the cycle. It can bring freedom to your soul and release your life from the never-ending, downward cycle of responding to evil with evil.
6. Repeat the process as needed. As long as you live your life in relationship with others, you are going to be wronged. Accept the fact that nobody is perfect and be prepared to repeat the process above as needed.

If you are harboring resentment towards another human being because of past hurts, choose to forgive and move on. The harm was their fault. But allowing it to weigh down your life today is yours. Free yourself today by taking the steps to experience the benefits of forgiveness in your life.