1. become a minimalist.
2. write a novel.
3. run a marathon.
4. quit smoking.
5. learn a new language.
6. lose 30 pounds.
7. meditate every day.
8. remain a minimalist.

being a minimalist is not my greatest goal in life. it is not my greatest obsession.

i am passionate about my soul, my wife, my kids, loving others, and influencing others. therefore, i will focus on these priorities above everything else.

i am a husband and father first, not a minimalist first.

minimalism is a means to an end. it removes physical distractions so that my greatest priorities can be elevated. it allows my life to be defined by eternal things, not by the possessions in my home. minimalism is a means to that end, but it is not the end itself.

minimalism simplifies life. but obsessing about minimalism begins to complicate it again. i refuse to allow possessions to define my life – not the collection of them or the removal of them.

i want to hear “you are a good daddy,” not “you are good at being a minimalist.” and i want people to remember me as “their friend,” not “the minimalist.”

therefore, i choose minimalism. but it will never become an obsession.

it will define my lifestyle, but not my life.

in case you are looking for a weekend decluttering project - how about minimalizing some of the old make-up that you no longer use (or rarely use)? perhaps, this article will give you the inspiration to finally remove some of the old products you may be holding on to just in case… what is the shelf life of make-up?

in may 2008, our family of four decided to become minimalist.  and since then, we have been on a journey to define what that means.

we live in suburbia.  we have two small children.  we are active in our community.  we love to entertain and show hospitality.  while not exceptional, our life is not identical to anybody else. it is our life – nobody else’s.  and if we were going to become minimalist, it would have to be a style of minimalism specific to us.  it would requires us to ask questions, to give-and-take, to identify what we most value and be humble enough to change course when necessary.

eventually, we defined minimalism in four aspects:

1. we will remove all “clutter” from our lives.  this process began with physical items as we moved from room to room selling, donating, and recycling everything that we no longer used. our home began to give life and energy rather than draining it.  as we began clearing physical clutter from our lives, we noticed opportunity to remove other non-physical clutter from our lives: emotional clutter, relational clutter, and spiritual clutter.  since then, we have worked hard to maintain a clutter-free life.

2. we will decorate in a minimalist style.  since becoming minimalist, we have removed numerous pieces of furniture and countless decorations from our walls and shelves.  what remains is not just clean, sleek, and modern, but is meaningful.  the decorations and paintings that remain are the pieces most dear to our souls and lives.  and our house draws praise from many who enter and enjoy its simple beauty.

3. we will use our money for things more valuable than physical possessions.  madison avenue has controlled our finances for too long.  since the day we were born, it has told us what needs to be bought, when it needs to be purchased, and what store we should visit to find the best value.  when we chose freedom from material possessions, we broke the control that our consumer-driven, capitalistic society has over us.  suddenly, we have been freed to use our finances to pursue endeavors far greater than those offered at our local department store.

4. we will live a counter-cultural life that is attractive to others.  we have met many minimalists over the past year that live a life that is far from attractive to us.  they have sold all their possessions to live communally on a farm… no, thanks.  they have listed all their possessions on a sheet of paper and determined to eliminate all but 100… no, thanks.  instead, we have determined to live out a rational minimalism that fits our lifestyle and invites others to simplify their lives as well.

the benefits of our decision are unmistakable: more freedom, more impact, more time, and less stress.  since our decision, we have encouraged tens of thousands of households around the world to simplify their life, remove clutter, and become minimalist.  after all, if this typical family of four in the suburbs can become minimalist, so can you!

our definition of minimalism originally appeared as a guest post on the website: organzing your way.

over the past two weeks, my wife and i have enjoyed two separate, yet amazing, vacations.  for 7 days, we celebrated our 10-year anniversary in beautiful riviera maya, mexico.  upon our return, we took our two kids and their grandmother to new york city for a broadway show and to watch the macy’s day parade on thanksgiving day.

the two vacations could not have been more different:  

• one involved sitting on a beach while the water-boy kept our glasses filled – the other involved scurrying around new york city from one site to the next. 
• one involved no deadlines other than “arrive back at the airport for flight home” – the other involved several ticket times and wake-up calls.
• one involved an uncrowded beach – the other involved 3.5 million people crowded onto a city street.

while i often refer to our beach vacation as our “simple, minimalist vacation,” i actually enjoyed both of our trips.  in fact, here are some of the advantages that i noticed having these two opposite vacations immediately back-to-back.

advantages to our beach vacation:

• no time tables - there was no deadlines and no wake-up calls.  i barely even looked at a watch. 
• relaxing and refreshing – no time tables = no stress.  just 7 days to enjoy the sunshine, the water, reading, and each other.  we got plenty of rest as we went to bed when we were tired and woke up when we were rested.  we came home energized.
• disconnected from everything and everyone – our kids and workplaces were in the capable hands of people we trusted.  we took no laptops, put our cell phones in the safe of our room, and only turned on the tv to check some football scores (me, not her).  it was the most disconnected that we have been from reality ever.  and it felt great (see refreshing and relaxing).
• no kids - don’t get wrong, i love my kids.  but spending a week alone without them was definitely nice for both of us.
• quieter - peace, tranquility, and quiet is so rare in our busy, connected world.   finding some should be a search that we embark on more often than we do.
• a nice tan.

advantages to our city vacation:

• shared experience with our kids and family – we love our family and having them a part of our vacation and memories was definitely nice for all of us.
• amazing experiences to tak about – of the two vacations, we have found that we tell more stories from our busy, scheduled vacation.  the stories about the big parade or the broadway show are just more compelling than the umbrella that we sat underneath on the beach.
• “accomplished” more - while some may define rest as an accomplishment, i enjoy looking back over my day and recalling the items that i specifically accomplished.  and based on that definition of accomplishment, i would argue that we accomplished more during our two-day trip to new york city than seven days on the beach.
• a certain energy - there is just a certain energy that comes along with busy city streets and crowded sidewalks.  packing 3.5 million people along a parade route brings with it a certain energy that can not be duplicated anywhere else.

i realize that vacations can be a bit like religion and politics.  people have their specific preferences of an ideal vacation:  some love the idea of a beach, others enjoy the city streets.  some enjoy sleeping in, others enjoy seeing as much as they can.  some enjoy tourist sites, others enjoy the true culture of a destination. 

and there is no specific vacation plan that is ideal for a minimalist.  again, it’s all about what you value most.  i’d be interested to hear how you define your ideal vacation. 

oh, and it’s good to back.

here are two minimalist battles that i have quit fighting:

1. children’s clothes at clearance prices.  ever since the birth of our first child seven years ago, my wife has meticulously searched through every clearance rack of children’s clothing that she has run across.   more often than not, she comes home with something.  to her credit, she is always purchasing next year’s clothes.  and because she buys them on clearance, she gets them at rock-bottom prices.  because kids keep growing, i have decided that she is right.  and stopped fighting this battle
2. mcdonald’s happy meal toys.  i’m not sure why my kids love little toys wrapped in plastic next to their french fries and chicken nuggets so much, but they do.  i’ve written previously of my disdain for happy meal toys, but have quit fighting the battle.  we don’t eat at mcdonald’s that often, but when we do we are either a) in a hurry or b) celebrating something for the kids.   and arguing about toys seems to put a damper on what should be a fun memory with the family.  so, i’ve stopped fighting.

but here are two minimalist battles that i won’t quit fighting:

1. appliances on the kitchen counter.  i don’t care if i have to pull out the toaster every morning, i refuse to leave it out all day.  and that goes the same for the coffee maker.
2. decorations/wall decor.  i’m not sure when i first thought that i should have a say into the interior design of my home, but it was sure easier for my wife before i started.  it’s one battle that i have refused to quit fighting.  one of my first minimalization projects around our house was removing dozens of decorative items. and i have no intention of ever going back.

we’ve been journeying towards a minimalist lifestyle for 16 months.  we’ve completed our initial sweep of our home.  we’ve even completed secondary sweeps of some rooms in our home.  but there are some battles that never seem to end. 

here is a list of some of our minimalist struggles:

• clothes/shoes.  i wish i could blame this solely on growing children, but unfortunately the closets in our master bedroom tell a different story.  our clothing purchases have slowed down (spending is down 25% from last year) but our closets and hangars continue to fill up.
• toys.  i’m not even sure where they keep coming from, but our toyroom fills up with toys as often as our gas tank is filled up with gas. 
• school paperwork.  with one son in 1st grade and one daughter in preschool, everyday welcomes a new painting, drawing, math paper, reading sheet, or note from the teacher.  knowing what to keep for memories and what to discard is an almost impossible task.
• mail/magazines/newspapers/financial documents.  the constant barrage of paperwork results in piles of paper on our desk, our kitchen counter, and our recycle bin.
• condiments.  still guilty.

battles, of course, force one of two responses: you can retreat or you can fight.  we’ll keep battling.  after all, nobody said this would be easy.

related posts:

• my home’s clutter collection sites
• becoming minimalist – one year later
• another minimalist failure

in 1995, i read a book written in 1967 by charles hummel called tyranny of the urgent. a man ahead of his time, hummel describes the tension between two contestants which battle for our time: the urgent and the important. he argues that the urgent things–such as the demands at the office, the demands of other people, and even our own “inner compulsions”–typically trump the things which are important, like regular dates with our spouse, personal solitude, exercise, or meditation.

with incredible depth of insight, he notes that important things are polite; they don’t clamor for our attention. they just wait patiently for us to act. in the long run there’s a price to pay for this neglect of the important stuff. like a volcano, there comes a day when the neglected areas of our life explode and wreak havoc. ironically, we wonder how we missed the early warning signs.

our temptation is to say, “well, i just didn’t have enough time to do everything.” hummel suggests that the lack of time is ultimately a problem of setting appropriate priorities.

today i read an article from cnn titled, “drop that blackberry! multitasking may be harmful.“  some recent studies are suggesting that technological multitasking actually lowers productivity.  specifically, heavy multitaskers are more easily distracted by irrelevant information than those who aren’t constantly in a multimedia frenzy, according to the study in the proceedings of the national academy of sciences.  david goodman, who is an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at johns hopkins university school of medicine said, “we are being flooded with too much information and you can’t selectively filter out quickly which is important and which is not important.”

which bring us back to the principles argued in tyranny of the urgent written over 40 years ago.

becoming minimalist has always been about more than removing physical belongings.  for me, minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things that i most value. it is about deciding what is most important in my life and removing the things that distract me from it.  it is about removing the urgent for the sake of the important.

related posts:

• benefit #21 – display what you value most
• “stuff” pushes important things to the side

today is a holiday.

today is 70 degrees and sunny.

today, my neighbor spent 3-4 hours cleaning out his garage.

today, i pushed my daughter on the swing and helped my son learn to ride his bike.

today marks the unofficial one year anniversary of our decision to become minimalist.  it was on this saturday (of memorial day weekend) last year that i had the 2 minute conversation with my neighbor that started us on this journey.  a journey of minimalizing our belongings, clarifying our values, and simplifying our lives. 

over the past year i have learned many things about my life and this world.  i have learned…

i can live with less.  it would be foolish for me to rewrite history and say that becoming minimalist was easy.  it was difficult at many turns.  one reason it was difficult was because we were constantly asking the question, “aren’t we going to need this?”  well, one year later, i can now confidently answer, “no, we don’t need this… or this or that.”  life is possible with less belongings.  i have learned that i can live with less.

i can be happy (ier) with less.  not only is life possible with less, life is better with less.  over the past 52 weeks, i have kept an on-line journal listing some of the very specific ways that life as a minimalist is better.  these are observations that i have seen and experienced in my own life since becoming minimalist.  some make life a little better (easier souvenir shopping / being able to find your umbrella) and some make life a ton better (less stress / more time on your hands).  contrary to popular belief and every advertisement you have ever seen, i have learned that life is better with less.  read more: benefits of minimalism.

others can be happier when i live with less.  over the past year, we have been reminded over and over again that there are countless others in our world who live in great need.  as we seek to discover the difference between needs and wants in our home, there are many just trying to figure out how to meet their most basic needs.  through the donation of our unneeded belongings, we have been able to help many of those families.  read more: minimalizing and serving others.

staying minimalist is more difficult than becoming minimalist.  killing the beast within is a long process – a process with both victories and defeats, with steps forward and steps backward.  it is one thing to remove things from your home, it is an entirely different thing to keep new things from entering.  as a family, we continue to learn and grow – often growing more from our failures than our successes.  we’re committed to keep growing, to keep learning how to say no, and becoming minimalist.

related posts:

• about us.
• 500.