“Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of everything that distracts us from it.” —Joshua Becker
Some people I speak with get nervous when they hear the term minimalist. For them, it conjures up images of destitution, barren walls, and empty cupboards.
Rightly so, they decide that is no way to enjoy life. Believe me, I agree—extreme minimalism is no way to enjoy life.
Maybe that is why I use the term rational minimalist and find it resonates so well. If you walked into my home today, you would not immediately deduce that a minimalist lives here.
When you look in our living room, you would see a television, couches, a family photo, and a rug. In our coat closet, you would find jackets, baseball caps, and a few winter weather accessories. In our kids’ rooms, you would find books, crafts, and toys in their closet. Since deciding to become minimalist years ago, we have been on a journey to define what that means for us and how it fits into our life.
We live in suburbia. We have two children. We are active in our community. We love to entertain, show hospitality, and host small groups from our church in our living room. I am a writer and my wife does bookkeeping. While not exceptional, our life is not identical to anybody else. It is our life—nobody else’s.
And if we were going to become minimalist, it would have to be a style of minimalism specific to us.
It would require us to ask questions, give-and-take, identify what we most value, and be humble enough to change course when necessary.
Your particular practice of minimalism is going to look different from everyone else. It must! After all, you live a different life than everyone else. You don’t have to dive into the deep end of extreme minimalism and live with just the clothes on your back.
You may have a large family, small family, or no family. You may live on a farm, in a house, or in a studio apartment.
You may collect antiques, stamps, or bottle caps. You may love music, movies, sports, or books. You may cherish old photographs, family heirlooms, or romantic letters from a lover.
Find a style of minimalism that works for you. One that is not cumbersome, but freeing based on your values, desires, passions, and rational thinking.
Be aware that your definition will not come overnight. It will take time. It will evolve—even change drastically as your life changes. It will require give and take. You will make a few mistakes along the way. And thus, it will also require humility.
But ultimately, you will begin to remove the unneeded things from your life. And when you do, you will find space to intentionally promote the things you most value and remove anything that distracts you from it.
Christine says
Hey Theresa, Allison, and Sarah – do you mind my asking which blog you are referring to? I read a lot of minimalism blogs and will be happy to boycott one that treats the readers with disrespect!
On another note, I am very happy at how becomingminimalist looks at minimalism. I like that we aren’t told to get rid of everything because I think that outlook is extremely depressing. Thank you becomingminimalist for treating us all as individuals and not lumping everyone into the “extreme minimalist” category!
Sarah says
I totally agree with you, Theresa & Allison. I left a (very polite) comment on her blog also and she didn’t make it available. If you can’t handle opposing viewpoints in the least, why blog? She has been removed from my reading list. She is defensive, rude, and isn’t living the lifestyle I aim for anyway.
I am all about rational minimalism! And I do think it deserves to be called minimalism even if you can’t fit your life in a backpack. But whatever you want to call it, it’s all about mindfulness and having only what you use. This blog does a great job focusing on doing with less but not going without. Thank you.
di says
Being aware of different extremes is educational.
Allison says
@nicole and Theresa,
Thanks for the heads up. I was wondering if I should remove her off my list of blogs and I think I will – I was waiting for her to release the comments but since she’s posted in the meantime I think that means she won’t. I found her that post mocking Theresa completely unprofessional, immature and in bad taste.
Sorry again Becomingminimalist for taking over your comment section – there’s just no way to email them privately. thanks.
nicole 86 says
@ Theresa and Allison
same with me, my comments had not been accepted.
As for me, I am quite sure my minimalism way of living will change over the next years. I began to get rid off quite a lot of items and later i will buy new items I really enjoy.
I keep items whenever I enjoy them even if some people may call them clutter. I could get rid off them if I intended to go abroad or …
di says
Rather than use more resources for new things, you may also choose to only buy second-hand items.
Allison says
@Theresa, I saw your comment (and the ensuing and unnecessarily mean post) that the author left. I also left my own comment about her behavior but she has not made the comment available. I really appreciate becomingminimalist writing about rational minimalism instead of opting to chide those who like a bit more aesthetic comfort in their homes! (I would send this as a personal email, but yours isn’t listed.)
TrishB says
Love this post (and the blog-looking forward to the book). Agree w/you Theresa. I love, love the William Morris quote-refer to it often. I think ‘Minimalist Living’ could be viewed along a continuum. Some are more minimalist than others. So rather than splitting hairs, maybe we can agree that we’re all on a journey towards simpler, more mindful living, and some of us are choosing different stops/destinations along the way. It’s ultimately about wise stewardship.
di says
It’s not for everyone…
wilyfem says
Maybe you aren’t so much a minimalist, but an anti-consumerist to a degree? Or frugal? Sorry, but there comes a point when you cannot call yourself a minimalist. Living more minimally than you normally do does not make you a minimalist.
I am a minimalist. You could fit all of my personal belongings – including clothes – into two average sized moving boxes (possibly less). My spouse is not a minimalist. If you walked into our house, you would think it was neat and orderly, but not necessarily minimalist. So I honestly cannot say we have a minimalist household.
di says
So true.
Minimalism is defined as removing the non-essential and retaining the simplest and the fewest.
What is non-essential?
What is simpler?
What is the fewest?
Everyone will have their own interpretation…
di says
Everything changes…
di says
Minimalizing certain areas in life is still a worthy endeavor.
Theresa says
Thank you so much for this post. I needed this. Recently I saw photos of a minimalist’s apartment which totally disheartened me. It was completely devoid of life and beauty. My only thought was, “If this is what being minimalist is all about, I don’t want any part of it.” I want my home to feel warm and inviting for my own sake and also because I enjoy having people over. I am letting go of things every day, but my home is not stark and empty. I guess I could be classified as a rational minimalist also.
It’s as if you’ve given me “permission” to hold onto a few beautiful things. William Morris’ quote is on a sticky note on my computer, so I am reminded of this principle every day and I strive to put it into practice.
I so enjoy your blog! Thank you again.
di says
Everyone develops their own style…
Patty says
Thank you for your excellent points. Often when I read minimalists’ writings, it seems like it is a contest: “I am down to 120 possessions” “I have 70… 34” etc. That seems unpleasant – although I guess if that makes you happy! I love the William Morris quote, and that is what I try to live by. Flylady also has some very practical ideas about this — “if it doesn’t make you smile, get rid of it” and “you can’t organize clutter.” I am a teacher, so it is in the summers that I make the most progress towards reducing unwanted possessions – but it seems every year it creeps back in.
Joshua – is it a constant battle, or do you reach a point that it is more on “automatic pilot”?
joshua becker says
A bit of consistent reevaluation is always necessary—especially with growing kids. But for the most part, we have found a new normal that works well for us.
Luke @ simplifi.de says
Our apartment is the same way as your house – when you walk in, you wouldn’t know that we are so hardcore about simplicity/minimalism. It’s warm and inviting, but we still try to live up to the often-quoted William Morris: “Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”
Good post!
Kate says
I need to stamp this on my forehead… at least until it sinks in. :)
William Morris: “Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”
Allison says
I wonder if this type of style should be called “manageable livable (minimal? haha)” instead of minimalist. I think this type of balance is what we all strive to have – living with our private essentials that aren’t just the “essentials.” Those who own a bit more than needed might be “clutterers,” but like you said – who are we to judge?!
I have been struggling to identify not just what type of minimalist I want to become but also which one I already am. I think, “I can manage just fine with the bare essentials,” but then it comes to the point of how happy I truly am with just that. Aesthetics and mementos are definitely something to take into consideration.
btw, I really enjoy your blog (I read all of it this past weekend), and I find what you have done really inspirational! Thanks for all your hard work – it definitely got me moving and shaking. :)
di says
It would be difficult to give up my heirlooms.
James says
Everyone may feel differently, but I really don’t have a sense of emotion attached to physical items. I have found that taking a picture of a physical item and then donating the physical item, really helps.
katy says
That is a great idea! I will need to pass that on to my mother.
Jennifer says
I’ve read this in many places, about taking a picture of the item and then giving it away. But for some things, this simply won’t work, at least for me. :) I have some things that used to belong to my grandparents and I can’t just give them up. It’s really not a LOT, and some are antiques. I love them and they have a lot of meaning to me. :)
I am slowly getting rid of a lot of things though. The hard part is getting my husband on board with it!
Eva Z says
If you love those heirlooms, look at them every day and enjoy them there is no need to get rid of them, they are not clutter. I am sure Joshua would agree with me :)
Lisa says
I agree, don’t throw out what you love and value. Stop bringing into the home the stuff you don’t love.
Its about the quality of your life, not the quantity, or the quality in your life rather than the quantity in your life.
Heirlooms aren’t just about you, they are for future generations of your family as well, they are treasured down generations. I have gifts that belonged to my grandmother and my great grandmother – gifts that have been passed and treasured through my family and that i will send on to future generations of my family. They aren’t clutter. Clutter is the stuff i can cull. Its the excess stuff I don’t need and I don’t love or use.
For each of us quality and quantity will differ, its finding what works for you, keep those heirlooms if you value them, you’ll regret getting of them and your family won’t understand. if you really feed the need to get them out of your home, give them to another family member.
my grandmother gave away all of her possessions before she died, she died without clutter, her heirlooms, which she treasured, she divvied up between the family by talking to us and asking us what we would like before she died, what i have from her, she gave to me, and I will pass those things along the family when I’m ready, and not because I magicked up a number that my possessions must meet.
Susan says
I have some heirlooms that I was pressured into receiving and now they sit in boxes because I feel too guilty to get rid of them. Some of the heirlooms include monogrammed silver and rare leather bound art books. I never use them or look at them. I did manage to donate to a cancer charity some etched crystal tumblers that I received from my great aunt. I have zero use for etched crystal glasses and I felt such a sense of relief once they were out of my storage shed.
I know I am supposed to feel grateful for these items, but I feel burdened by them. Next time somebody tries to give me something I will have to politely decline. I am getting much better at saying “no” and not caving into to pressure.
I have actually found that “heirlooms” can cause quit a bit of bickering and strife in families when it comes time to pass them down. For this reason I don’t plan on accumulating any heirlooms to pass down. I have been to too many “estate sales” and from that realized that family members of the deceased are often burdened by the stuff people leave behind.
I probably sound like an awful person, but I am just being honest. I would venture to say that most people, if they are really being honest with themselves, don’t want to use/display their grandmother’s Castleton Rose china. Likewise, my descendants will likely have different tastes than me and will not appreciate my plain white porcelain.
Just sayin’