Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Erica Layne of Let Why Lead.
“Gladys?” I asked as I unlocked her door and stepped inside her dim apartment, a place that instantly transports you back to 1979.
“I’m in bed!” she called.
I walked down the hall and turned the corner to see my 85-year-old neighbor patting down her wispy gray hair.
She rolled her eyes in the direction of her legs and said: “I can’t get out. The paramedics will be here soon. Will you call my daughter?”
She paused and then added, “And bring me a slice of toast?”
I smiled at the way she got right down to the point. Gladys always got right down to the point. I returned to my apartment across the hall and smeared homemade jam on a slice of wheat toast.
As it turns out, that toast was Gladys’ last meal in her apartment; she moved into an assisted living facility after leaving the hospital and passed away not long after.
What Would You Want in Your Last Minutes?
Sometimes I think about that morning and the honor it was to bring my old friend her last meal at home. She seemed to know, in the moment, what not being able to get out of bed meant. She looked around her home with a sense of finality.
But the only things she asked of me? Call her daughter and bring her some toast.
She didn’t ask me to fetch her hair brush or makeup bag. She was well past fussing over her looks.
She didn’t ask me to hand her the newspaper she read every day or to turn on her favorite political talk show.
She didn’t ask me to open the shades so she could take in the view from the windows one last time.
In an apartment full to the brim of the things she’d collected in her 85 years of life, she simply sat and waited.
When it came down to it, nothing meant more than letting her daughter know she was okay and getting some food in her body to give her the energy to get through the morning.
What the Simple Life Does for You
I think, in a way, that this is what the simple life does for anyone who walks it.
But instead of waiting to realize it until you’re 85 and stuck in bed, you can realize it any time you strip away the excess and find the bare essentials taking center stage.
I believe that simple living makes room for self-discovery. Instead of hiding behind the things we’ve amassed and the busy-ness we wear as a badge, we have to confront what we really want of our lives and who we want to be.
The Hard Questions that Simple Living Opens Our Eyes To
It’s not always easy to ask ourselves the hard questions—the kind of questions that I imagine are illuminated in your late days of life but are often squeezed out by more “pressing” things in your 20s, 30s, 40s and more. Questions like…
- Do you speak up when it counts?
- What do you love to do but never make time for?
- In regards to the risks you’re afraid of taking, what do you really have to lose?
- What are you proud of?
- Do you speak kindly to yourself and others?
- Are you living or existing?
- What impact do you want to leave on the people you love?
I think that’s why so many of us fear stillness. Because sometimes, being still feels harder than hustling. Scarier.
Quieting the noise, asking ourselves the hard questions, and uncovering the truest version of ourselves sounds infinitely less safe than buying more clothes or putting in more hours at the office.
Deep down, we know that listening to the voice inside may lead us down a different path than the one we’re taking, and… change is hard.
Finding Your True Self
But when we do the hard work of self-discovery—the stillness finding and the soul searching—we experience more peace and clarity than we ever felt when we were hustling.
And slowly, over time, the idea of the simple life moves from the head to the heart, until it’s really not about the stuff we fill our homes and lives with but instead about the people and pursuits we fill our hearts with.
And we can sit with our thoughts and a slice of toast…
Just like my neighbor Gladys.
***
Erica Layne writes about the freeing power of living by your WHY.
Lizzie Hough says
This is one of my favorite posts of all time on this site. Thank you.
Thea Dunlap says
Very touching article. Thanks for sharing, really made my day. :)
Liam says
I am going to take on as my July challenge answering two of these questions in depth.
Cheri says
Thanks for your insight! You lift me up. And help me think!
Krista says
Enjoyed this post! My husband and I feel in transition and I spend a ton of time right now Life Visioning, questioning. I just returned from a visit to the homes of 4/5 of my brothers and it was so interesting to see how different we all are, what we prioritize, how our homes feel. I appreciate the ‘pretty things’ but honestly there is nothing material in my home that I care much about. I love crafting a home but that is more about the people and the connection. My husband and I are discussing selling our home to move into an apartment to open up time/energy/money for more travel, learning, and good food:)
On my blog I examine these ideas- including purposeful living, slow & simple, calm. Letting go of the noise and hustle. My post that has received the most attention (far more than is usual for me) is entitled “What if all I want is a Mediocre Life?”
Tracy says
Love this post Erica and Josh. I’m asking myself these questions at the moment and it’s inspiring and reassuring to know I’m not alone on my journey to less. Beautifully written xx
Elizabeth says
Thanks for such a great article, Erica.
Mary says
Thank you for your beautiful words. I have personally experienced the habit of avoiding through shopping and entertainment. If I felt lonely, I shopped. If I felt sad, I shopped. If I felt frustrated or defeated, I shopped. If I felt happy, I shopped. If I felt board, I shopped. I think you get the picture. I lived very minimally at that time, I didn’t own much…. but I maintained the habit of avoiding through shopping. Now I am able to sit with all the emotions and feeling that come up for me and just be still. It really is an empowering feeling. I am so much more intentional with my time energy and money. I appreciate your dedication to sharing this message with others.
Erica Layne says
I love this perspective, Mary. Thank you. I can relate to the feeling of doing ANYthing in my power to avoid my feelings instead of being willing to just sit with them and work through them. I think that’s why so many of us practice busyness. As a form of avoidance. For you, it was shopping. I’m happy you’ve made so much progress.
Happy early weekend! Have a good one.
Annette Lessmann says
Great synchonicity! I am currently trying to find my way through my daughter’s breakup with her fiance. I am letting my feelings out by doing illustrated letter art using pens with very precise points. I can control the art and it helps me recognize that my daughter’s life is not under my control enabling me to let her live it as best she can. I am slowing down my own busyness so I can appreciate the buzz of hummingbird wings near me as I drink my morning tea on the deck in my cherry red robe.