“Focus is often a matter of deciding what things you’re not going to do.” –John Carmack
Growing up, my Christmas Eves were simple—and wonderful.
Because my grandfather was a pastor, every Christmas Eve, we would pile into our family car, drive through the South Dakota snow, and attend the little church on Melgaard Road. Following the service, all the relatives would cram into my grandparents’ small house.
We would eat. We would each open 1-2 presents. And make some of the most beautiful memories of my childhood.
Our Christmas was simple and wonderful. I wouldn’t change anything about it. In fact, I think it was wonderful because it was simple. It kept our main thing the main focus of the holiday.
Church came first. Always. Everything else came afterwards—and only as there was room for it. The less important was secondary and never allowed to press out the most important reason of our season.
There is a growing debate over how to fix Christmas. I’m not sure society is at a tipping point quite yet (retail numbers would seem to indicate otherwise). But as holiday displays show up in stores earlier and earlier, as more and more Black Friday sales begin on Thursday, and as consumers sink deeper and deeper into debt, the world is beginning to recognize that our holiday season is broken, expectations have become too high, the perfect Christmas is beginning to appear unattainable, and the less important is beginning to crowd out the most important.
But the perfect holiday season is not as difficult to find as most think. The perfect holiday season is found in simplicity, keeping your main thing the main thing, and not allowing anything less important to take its place.
- Holiday gifts are fine—just don’t let them distract from the most important.
- Seasonal decorations are fine—just don’t let them distract from the most important.
- Christmas cookies are fine—just don’t let them distract from the most important.
- Large, delicious meals are fine—just don’t let distract from the most important.
- A busier schedule is manageable—just don’t let it distract from the most important.
Surely, each of us will define our holiday most important differently. Many will seek spiritual renewal. Some will celebrate family. Some will refocus on giving to others. Some will seek rest. Some will set aside this year to remember the passing of a loved one. Others will consider the opportunity to evaluate the passing year and refocus on the next. Many will choose a combination of the above.
But your most important step is to define your main thing this holiday season. When you do, you’ll surely have space to include some of the holiday trimmings. But once you feel the less important beginning to push out the most important, it’s time to refocus, cut-back, and simplify.
This may mean fewer gifts, fewer lights, fewer decorations, fewer cookies, fewer side dishes, and fewer commitments. But that’s okay.
Your Christmas can still be simple—and wonderful. I know mine was.
Bethany@OurSoCalledLife says
It’s interesting, because I thought that paring down and becoming more intentional with Christmas would make it less fun. In fact, the opposite has been true! It’s been a LOT more fun, more meaningful, and way less stressful. We have fewer gifts, we don’t have a huge, fancy meal, we don’t travel all over the place, and we don’t decorate until right before. You’re right–fewer distractions mean we are able to focus on what’s important.
The Maui Taoist says
Finding our essential nature is the meaning of life…
Awareness, breath, love…
Start there with,
Simplicity, patience and compassion.
What else do we really need?
The Maui Taoist says
oh….. maybe some cookies!
Ellen says
Love it?♥️ Was thinking that too. Christmas has always been. Only way after people decided kris was born on christmas day they also started to celebrate him on that holiday.
Lorilee @ Loving Simple Living says
I was totally with you until the Christmas cookie part…. they are pretty important ;) jk, great post, thanks!
Paula Grieco says
Another great post Joshua! Thank you for your inspiring work.
Barb says
Joshua, I truly enjoy reading your posts. It was fun to read this story. My aunt went to that church on Melgaard Road for years and years and I used to have an evening ritual of running down the sidewalk past that church when I lived there. I am in the beginning stages of embracing minimalism, but have wished for “simpler” for many years. We have practiced the “3 Christmas gifts for each of us because Jesus received 3 gifts” philosophy for several years now, and that has helped us muddle through the materialism part of this time of year. Thank you for your message. Merry Christmas!
Anna says
Barb, what a great idea about the 3 gifts. Last year I realized I over-bought for our 4 grandchildren but I have trouble knowing how much is ‘enough’. I believe I will use this to add more meaning to the gift-giving for myself and for them.
Daniel says
thank you for this reminder! :) Wish you all the best!
Greetings from Sweden
Kathleen, Frugal Portland says
beautiful! just what I need to read. I’ll be focusing all of my energy on keeping the most important thing at the top of my list. well said.
Lisa says
Yes, yes! I Totally agree and love this. I wrote a post recently on my minimalism of Christmas. You have captured exactly what I was trying to get at.
intriguing content says
That’s really thinking out of the box. Thanks!
colleges says
Hey, that’s powerful. Thanks for the news.
Jill Foley says
I love this! And I look forward to reading your contributions to the Unitive – thanks for telling us about it.
New Age Nomad says
Thanks for another inspiring post. Will definitely be reading your posts on The Unitive.