This week, Vermont became the 26th state in the USA to outlaw texting while driving.
All of these laws are based on a simple premise: texting dramatically reduces drivers’ reaction time. Texting redirects our eyes and our attention. If only for a moment, it distracts us from the present reality of the road in front of us and transports us elsewhere. Obviously, this can be dangerous when driving.
But what about the rest of life? If texting removes us from the present reality of driving, doesn’t it have the potential to remove us from the present reality of any of life’s moments? Life is to be lived in the present with our heads up soaking in as much as we can… not with our head down transported away from our current situation. To that end, consider the positive impact on your life of texting less and living more in the present.
Give yourself permission to keep text messages from stealing your life:
- Give yourself permission to… not carry your cell phone at all times. Just put it away – out of earshot. There are moments in life that are far too important to be distracted from them by a text message. For example, I rarely carry my cell phone around the house when my kids are home. My responsibility to give them my undivided attention is more important to me than ANY incoming phone call or text message.
- Give yourself permission to… not answer every text message the moment you receive it. You don’t answer every incoming email the moment you receive it. You don’t answer every phone call the moment you receive it (especially when engaged in an activity of higher priority). In the same way, you don’t need to answer every text message the moment you receive it. There are very few people in your life who should have unrestricted access to your attention. And most of the people texting you, aren’t them.
- Give yourself permission to… never answer a text in the middle of a conversation with another person. At that point, it’s not just distracting you from the relationship right in front of you – it’s sacrificing any trust and goodwill that you have tried to build with the other person. Your actions have indicated how much you value that relationship to a far greater extent than any words that come out of your mouth.
- Give yourself permission to… not believe the myth of multi-tasking. I don’t believe the myth. You may be an exception… but I would point to distracted driving laws as proof for my side of the argument. Single tasking has been proven to be more efficient. “But I’m good at mutli-tasking” is just an excuse that people use so that they can text any time they want. Don’t believe the hype. Instead, keep your mind focused on the life right in front of you.
- Give yourself permission to… return their text message with a phone call. Texting can be very efficient. It can eliminate small talk, waiting for the person to answer, or going to a computer to send an email. But once a text conversation reaches more than 3 texts back-and-forth, it is has lost all efficiency. It could have been handled easier with a simple phone call. My general rule of thumb is if I receive a text that requires a longer response than one text message, I dial the number and handle it the old-fashioned way.
- Give yourself permission to… conduct important conversations over the phone or in person. The medium is the message. Conversations based on relationships, important business, or bad news come across as flippant when conducted via text. They should always be handled over the phone or better yet, in person.
Just to be clear, I’m not against texting. It can be very efficient and helpful. But just like everything else, left unchecked, it has the potential to steal your life right out of the palm of your hand. And I am definitely against that.
Becky says
Now if we can give ourselves permission to not text while in a conversation with someone else…how can we get others to do the same? On more than one occasion I have been out to lunch with a friend and her cell phone receives a text….she has to read it and respond right then and there. And sometimes texts multiple times back and forth….kind of ruins to lunch for me.
Kaloian Parchev says
This was really well written. I like your style and this is why I keep reading your blog. Keep the good work!
Jill Foley says
I don’t text at all…I just never got started and I don’t feel the need for it in my life. I do try to apply most of what you are suggesting to use of my phone (for calls). Remember the days when we were literally unreachable? There are many days I long for that again!
Willow says
Thanks for putting this topic into conTEXT for us all.
If we really wanted to communicate the old fashioned way, we’d go back to writing letters. :)
Bill Gerlach says
Full disclosure: I’m guilty of this from time to time. Texting (and cell phones in general for that matter) is one of those things that just become a cultural norm. We’ve allowed this bit of technology to become indispensible. Life falls apart if the dang thing is not within reach. People forget that for decades we did just fine without it. There are so many examples like cell phones and texting that you can begin to throw into this bucket.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m no Luddite, but imagine how more connected to life we could all be if we just allowed ourselves (or gave ourselves permission as you said) to walk away from it from time to time. Great post.
Christine says
I agree with you completely. I use texting for sending a quick message back and forth. (I absolutely hate talking on the phone – I do it all day at work). I don’t keep my phone near me when I have friends over or when I am out to dinner. I check it only once or twice a night when I am at home.
Life is more peaceful this way!
mokoko says
I liked the idea. I use to do the same.
Sometimes it gives me bad situations, like when I’m in a dinner with parents or friends and my girl texts me, I even listen the phone so I never answer until, hours later, I see the blinking led in the phone.
But I do the same when I’m with her, I listen the mobile and I don’t care to read the messange, maybe later I’ll watch and answer if necessary.
I would like to do the #1 more times, specially during the weekend.
Jonathan Blundell says
Having become so accustomed to simply texting people back and forth for the last four or five years (at least) it’s been a hard habit to break — but I’m with you all the way — especially when it comes to driving.
It’s a hard habit to break, especially sitting in traffic, but it’s doable.
Thanks for the reminder!
Luke @ simplifi.de says
I’m with you on this one – I have permission to do all of them!
When I read the statistics about how many text message teenagers send, it makes me wonder how they can ever get anything else done. I know that I wouldn’t have when i was a teenager – IM-ing people took up enough time, and that was with a keyboard!
I use Google Voice to text more than anything else, that way I am at the computer and can still type at a decent speed.
Adventure-Some Matthew says
I don’t text, at all. In fact, my phone doesn’t even receive texts (it’s supposed to, and it used to, but for some reason it quit doing so) and I don’t mind that at all. Now I have the perfect excuse that is true. I can’t!
It’s so much easier to not text at all than it is to have to limit myself.