Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Patrick of PatrickRhone.com. I’ve been begging Patrick to write something for Becoming Minimalist for years. I’m grateful that he finally did.
$18,685.00
I’ll never forget that dollar number. The year was 2003. I had gotten laid off from my job at a software company when they decided to close the local office. I was on vacation when it happened. There was no warning.
On the way home, driving back, I got a call from the President of the company. He gave me the news. Said it was effective immediately but I’d receive some severance. He said it was a hard decision and he wished me the best. I was a full time single dad to two boys. I had a home, a minivan, and all of the normal costs of supporting a family of three.
Still, I had a plan. Before the layoff, to make ends meet, I had been doing some technology consulting on the side. I had a handful of clients and enjoyed helping them a lot. They seemed to appreciate me and were recommending me to others. It had long been a dream of mine to build my own business, work for myself, and do consulting full time. So, when I found my paycheck job gone literally overnight, I took it as a sign.
I had the severance—about six weeks pay—and a little bit of savings. I gave myself a deadline to see if I could chase that dream. I marked it on the calendar. I had exactly one year to stick it out and give it a shot—to see if I could build something that could feed my sons and I and keep a roof over our head. Only after that year, giving it all I had, would I then try to find another job.
That dollar number above is the gross total of what I made. Not the net. Not after taxes. That was it. Between August 2003 and August 2004 that was my gross income for a family of three.
That’s how I became a minimalist.
It wasn’t a choice. It wasn’t a grand statement on our consumerist culture and not wanting to run forever on the capitalist hamster wheel. I didn’t have credit cards because my credit was ruined by financial misdoings during my marriage. I didn’t want them either, but not for lofty reasons. Mainly because I was now very wary of them.
It wasn’t my love of simplicity and rejection of the tyranny of choice. I was broke and hungry and scared out of my wits that the heat would get turned off, our home taken away, the car repossessed, and I’d lose my sons because I couldn’t take care of them.
To be honest, I’m still not quite sure how we survived without any of that happening. That year is still very much a blur. I’m sure I blocked a lot of it out.
I know there were many days I only had one meal in order to make sure my sons had three. They got free breakfast and lunch at school, so I only had to worry about having enough money for dinner. I know there were times when friends would invite us over for dinner, without saying they knew how bad I was struggling to make ends meet. I became a ninja at cherry-picking sales at the grocery store and coupon cutting. I learned that, if you call phone and electricity companies before your bill is overdue, and explain your situation, they are more likely and able to work with you to figure something out than if you do so after it’s due. I can’t explain how the mortgage got paid. It did, somehow. Magic, perhaps.
We made it through. Exactly one day after my one year deadline I had two job offers immediately. Both for very good money. One with better benefits. I took that one.
Even though I then had a steady job and more than enough money to go back to business as usual, I had learned during that hard year how to live on very little. It had taught me a valuable lesson—the difference between want and need. And, while I now could afford to eat three meals a day like my sons, while we were no longer living in poverty, I had no desire or reason to spend money on anything we didn’t need or that didn’t add true value to our lives. That same ethos remains with me today.
So, why am I telling you all this? Well, I think we who consider ourselves minimalists, or those of us who are striving to be, need to be mindful of how we talk about it. We need to keep in mind that the very fact that you have the power to *choose* and decide what is enough for you and live with less, means you are in a position of privilege.
To many of us, choosing to “live simply” is to others living in poverty and they may not have a choice. We should be mindful of this when we talk about it to others because, many times, we come off sounding like elitist jerks.
Look, I get it. You’re happy about how a choice to live with less has made your life less stressful. You’re proud of the money you’ve saved or how you live debt free. You’ve made a life where you’re sure everything you own has value and the life you live is full of meaning and you want to share that with as many people as you can. You’re excited. It’s OK. You have reason to be. I’m simply trying to say there should be a level of understanding of what a privilege it is to be able to have such a life when we talk about it.
The desire should be to help others consider such choices, if they have the ability, for themselves and to have compassion for those without. We should live our lives in such a way that strives to provide others with the same opportunity to enjoy such privilege.
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Patrick Rhone writes on the blog Patrick Rhone. I should also mention that he has been highly influential in my personal pursuit of minimalism and I have referred to his fabulous book, Enough, on countless occasions.
Wally Jordan says
Thank you for sharing your story and for your insight into the life many of us want to achieve.
Ms. Montana says
Sometimes like takes us in directions we would have never wanted. But we can always ask, “What does this make possible?” I think minimalism can benefit everyone, but it’s nice to be able to choose it rather than have it forced on you.
Bill says
Great article. I’ve read a ton on minimalism over the last 2 years and I can’t remember anyone ever approaching it from a ‘non-choice’ perspective. Thanks for sharing.
Alec says
This was a great eye-opener. I appreciate that insight and had not thought about the decision to become more minimal to be one of privilege. Thank you!
Jim Fantazzia says
IMO, I know Patrick is a writer (among other things), but I was very impressed with his speaking interview in the minimalist documentary, so much so, he was the deciding factor for me to purchase the bonus content on Vimeo so I can see the longer unedited version of his interview. I find Patrick to be almost hypnotic when he is speaking, I look forward to hopefully some podcasts and YouTube videos or other speaking interviews as they come up. Great work Patrick.
Jacoby Young says
You may already be familiar with his podcast Enough. There is an archive of all the old episodes up.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-enough-podcast-archives/id1139464549?mt=2
Michelle says
Thank you for posting this link.
Christine says
A very interesting topic. I am going to check out the podcasts. Thank you!
Bryin says
Having eaten free breakfast and lunch at school when I was a child, I know a little about being behind the eight ball. (and it was because my father was laid off.. not because he had chosen to pursue entrepreneurship)
First, let me point out that the author was not thrust into “poverty” through circumstance, he CHOOSE to earn less money by opening his own business. I am sure he could have earned more by choosing to work for someone else (which he eventually did).
When you choose to earn less in order to pursue a dream, this privilege.
I don’t believe that the minimalist message is “elitist”. It may seem that way because many of public minimalists have left successful careers and a consumption lifestyle behind and that creates an impression of a somewhat “elitist” minimalist.
The minimalist message is perhaps best heard by those that earn less. The hard fact is, poor people manage to waste money as well. Yes, they have less to waste but they do an astoundingly good job of squandering what little they have- lottery tickets, cigarettes and booze are all popular with the “poor”.
I have direct knowledge of how the “poor” deal with their finances because I have worked in the banking industry for 25 years. I am not saying that there are not people that need and deserve help, because there are plenty. But the idea that the minimalist message might sound elitist is mistaken. EVERYONE can benefit from it.
Bobbie says
Agreed with you here. I too have chosen to put time with family over time working harder for more money. I own Mobile Home Parks and must agree with what you have stated in regards to the people with less money and how they deal with finances. I see all too often that tenants who “can’t” pay the rent still had money for booze, lottery tickets and cigarettes and all too often drugs as well.
Melkorka says
Beautiful piece – I love how Mr.Rhone addressed this awkward truth – that having the ability to ‘choose’ the worthwhile goal of simplicity is a privilege. We have to mindful, compassionate & aware of people who don’t have the choice themselves.
Miguel de Luis says
I’d love to translate that into Spanish, as it might be quite helpful over here.
Tony W says
Thanks for sharing your experience Patrick. Sometimes it takes going through an experience to become more mindful of what others my be going through. We can look at people and better know the signs of struggle after our own hard times. I sometimes feel bad when shopping at the second hand store. I am always mindful not to speak as if is a wonderful adventure, because for some it is not.
Amy@MoreTimeThanMoney says
Thanks so much Patrick. I agree minimalism often does come off as elitest. I really struggle with this. I write about my own simple living experience because I want to empower people to give themselves permission to slow down and feel secure that they are enough and they have enough.
At the same time, I know that for very many people they have no choice. I’ve been there a couple of times myself when my partner has been out of work, paying for the groceries on credit and trying to get a mortgage holiday while desperately searching for work. I vivdly remember, when things recovered, going to a mall and buying a jacket just because I fancied it and the amazing sense of freedom I felt. It’s actually similar to the freedom I know feel from decluttering. Choice is a wonderful thing, it’s a privilege and something I am very grateful for.
Andrea Allen says
This article was so good it gave me goose bumps.
Bridget says
Hi, Your article hit home…it is very true for someone like myself to become a minimalist IF you have a choice! I think a person is wise to realize the difference, & we are blessed to be able to choose while others may not have the option! Thank you, BC