“Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”
The speed of our world is increasing.
Technology and communication continue to improve. Information moves faster. And social media rewards those who never turn it off.
Expectations, demands, and accessibility continue to expand, but the number of hours in a week do not. As a result, our lives get busier and busier.
This approach to life rarely benefits us in the long-run because a busy life is an unreflective life. In fact, often times, we are so busy scurrying from one thing to another we don’t even have the space to realize our schedules have become overwhelmed. We don’t recognize how our overcommitted lives are harming us.
Even worse, we are unable to identify the hidden mistruths in our heart that are contributing to the problem. Consider these:
9 Hidden Lies that Keep Our Schedules Overwhelmed
1. Accolades will bring fulfillment. The thinking goes like this: The busier we are, the more we can accomplish and the more respect we can earn. And the more respect and accolades we receive, the more we can surely prove our worth and value to others. Unfortunately, if you are trying to find fulfillment in someone else’s opinion of you, you will never find it. You will always be left searching (and working) for more.
2. Money will bring happiness. We often get caught up in needless busyness because of our desire to earn and secure more money. Ever notice how often we are offered money (or the chance to win money) for our time? While it is important to work hard and provide for the needs of your family, it is foolish to think money is the quickest shortcut to better living.
3. I don’t have a choice. Many of us live over-busy lives because of the expectations and demands of others. In these cases, it is important to remember you always have a choice. Sure, there are seasons of life that require more of you and your time than others, but seasons always change. If yours hasn’t changed recently, you may need to revisit who is making the decisions in your life and where you can regain some of your control.
4. I’m more productive if I’m busy. Maybe you can be more productive for a short while, but human beings are not designed to work relentlessly without periods of rest. Countless studies confirm the importance of rest for productivity. Eventually, a lifestyle of busyness will detract from our productivity. And more importantly, your health and well-being. There are no exceptions.
5. I am needed. Pride is defined as holding an excessively high opinion of oneself or one’s importance. And it leads to overwhelmed schedules because of the foolish thinking that follows it: “Nobody else can do what I do.” This pride affects the way we view our business, our work, our family, and our personal relationships. Left unchecked, it leads to a busy life and in the end, a fall.
6. Everything is important. Our world has a tendency to make everything appear urgent, important, and beneficial to our lives. As the speed of information increases, our minds are seemingly less equipped to filter all the information and opportunities. But the most productive among us realize nobody can accomplish everything. They are relentless in their understanding of mission and the reality that very few things are truly important. And they never sacrifice the important for the trivial.
7. I need to be busy to keep up with everyone else. It may seem, at times, the only way to get ahead in life is to outwork everyone else. But just because everyone else appears busy does not mean they are busy about the right things. Nor does it mean they are finding joy in their pursuits. Frank Clark perhaps said it best, “Modern man is frantically trying to earn enough to buy things he’s too busy to enjoy.”
8. Busy makes me look more important. Busy, in and of itself, is not a badge of honor. In fact, being busy doing the wrong things is actually quite unattractive. Just remember, in a society rushing to keep up with everyone else, those who find peace, contentment, and rest are the ones admired…and envied.
9. Quietness is laziness. Often times, people avoid dealing with life’s deeper issues by packing their schedule tight. Someone who is discontent with their life’s choices can escape the difficult work of addressing them by masking them with busyness. Quietness is not laziness. Quietness is hard, but always worth the effort.
Many of the lies we have been told since birth crowd out the things in life that matter most. Instead of enjoying the benefit of calm, intentional living, we hurry from one needless triviality to another.
Don’t ever get so busy chasing the wrong things that you miss enjoying the right things. (tweet that)
Julie says
“There is more to life than increasing its speed..” Gandhi
Trish says
#8 — “Our world has a tendency to make everything appear urgent, important, and beneficial to our lives.”
This helped me to settle an important decision I was considering today. Thank you.
Kent Faver says
As Henri Nouwen stated – we are so fearful of not being occupied, we become pre-occupied. I am guilty of all them and would add one more – putting 2 daughters through college, but it really falls under No. 3
LL in Prescott says
I had to scroll back up to view #3 again. Putting your children through college is definitely a choice. I think we do it out of love for them so they won’t have education debt heaped on their head as soon as they graduate. It’s giving them a clean slate start on their adult life. Very admirable. It is still a choice. Sometimes the students who have to pay their own way make the best decisions on career and get better grades. They grow up faster in those 4 years because they only have themselves to rely on. We are admonished in the U.S. for keeping our children as children longer than the rest of the world. I feel like I am very lucky because our child did not waste that education that we paid for and has been very successful financially. What of the parents who paid the price of a house for that education are in their retirement years and still paying a mortgage?
Kent Faver says
All very good questions. Both graduated – one is working on her phd (her expense), the younger is employed. Frankly – I don’t look at “financial success” as the basis for our decision. Rest assured, they knew the cost – both worked all the way through college- and both also knew even a relatively minor screw-up would put an end to it. I give my wife 100% of the credit. I would not have traded the experience for anything. Sometimes you just have to put others first and live accordingly. Can you be a “selfish” minimalist? I don’t know.
Kay says
I grew up knowing my parents could never pay for my education, but my Mom told me I could do whatever I wanted and I believed her. I applied for every award/bursary I could find in my last year of highschool. I worked very hard for my degree and did the best that I could. I know my parents are proud. I plan to do the same for my kids.
LL in Prescott says
#8. Looking busy makes you look important. My mother used to fold dirty laundry. She had a table next to the w/d and it had piles of neatly folded dirty laundry waiting to be washed. Busy! busy! busy! HOWEVER, as a child, I would see my mother watch soap operas, talk on the phone for hours, AFTER my dad left the house. I realize that I suffer from “being seen doing nothing” that stems from that childhood modeling.
Tracy @ OurSimpleLifeSC says
We spent so many years working a 60 hour work week so we could afford all the things we thought we just had to have. Now we live a very simple life in the country living on just what we need and making do with what we already have! Great post!
Jill says
Tracy – that is so true. I have told my children (ages 22 and 28) not to make the same mistake that their father and I made. We spent 20 years accumulating stuff, only to hit the age (for me it was about 45) where ALL I wanted to do was get rid of all the stuff and live simpler. In retrospect, my life could have been so much easier, and less stressful. I’ve gotten rid of a LOT already (including the compulsive spender husband – lol) but it seems the more I get rid of – the more I want to get rid. For me the process isn’t complete yet. In fact, tomorrow I’m tackling my basement – again.
Gail says
Jill,
I’m right there with you. I’d like to “save” my son (25) from my mistakes, of working full-time for 30 years and spending weekends doing housework or yard work. I believed my own lie that I enjoyed yard work. I had so many flower beds. Why? I didn’t have to have ANY. I do love flowers, but I didn’t like weeding them, remulching, etc. I’d much rather have done any number of fun things than yard work. I liked being OUTDOORS, but would have preferred the beach to my yard. I made my own life more stressful by not taking the time to evaluate it. Now I’m retired and it still takes consciousness to not fill the time with stuff i’d rather not do or that doesn’t line up with my goals. I’ve been downsizing for several years, gotten rid of hundreds of items, and still have too much. Younger people, wake up and evaluate your life, your goals, and your happiness. Then make the necessary changes.
Gail
Isaac Berglind says
Great post. It’s so important to realize that we are the source of happiness. Happiness is a skill that anyone can master, and anyone can bring into their life at any time. And the point you made about believing that “I am productive when I’m busy” is so true as well. That saying is a complete lie, what we should really focus on is improving little by little each day. I’m talking about growing by just 1% each day, and rewarding ourselves for that progress in the process.
James says
The picture was a great choice for this post and great content.
Erin says
Great post!
“Unfortunately, if you are trying to find fulfillment in someone else’s opinion of you, you will never find it.” I need to put that on a Post-It and…well…post it in all my usual places. I decided in February to delete my Facebook account, and I really miss the occasional inquiries from others about how I’m doing, the frequent validation, the multitude of birthday greetings, etc. Admitting that I miss all that has prompted me to dig deeper and try to understand what I’m worth without all that.
Lisa Monique Kent says
I’m sitting in a quiet house, my daughter off to school, my husband working, and I have a few hours left before I head into work as a librarian. I could 1) do the dishes, 2) do book work, 3) write, OR I could sit in my overstuffed chair in front of the windows and watch the squirrels. And just do nothing. I am not yet too busy to do nothing, and that makes me smile.
Lisa Monique Kent, author of Peace Cottage
Michael Roberts says
Getting past the “I am needed” lie is a tough lesson in humility, but it’s so freeing on the other side. That one kicked me in the teeth just recently, and it took me a while to get over it.