“The giving of love is an education in itself.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Contentment. People look for it in all sorts of places. Some look for contentment in a high-paying job, yet show their discontent the first time they are passed over for a raise. Some look for it in a large home, yet show their discontent by requiring countless improvements. Many have sought contentment in a department store believing that one more item will finally match their desire, yet they are always disappointed… despite the promises made on television.
Could it be that we have been taught to look for contentment in all the wrong places?
What if contentment is actually found in the exact opposite place that we have been looking? What if contentment is not found in accumulating more, but is actually found in giving more?
We can easily understand how contentment leads to generosity – the less we need, the more we can give away. But could it be that the inverse is also true? That generosity also leads to contentment? That the two collide together in a way that encourages each other to exist all the more?
Consider for just a moment how generosity leads to contentment:
- Generous people have a healthy understanding of how much they already own. People who give to those in need quickly realize how much they have to give.
- Generous people value what they own. People who give away possessions hold their remaining possessions in higher esteem. People who give their time make better use of their time remaining. And people who donate money are far less wasteful with the money left over.
- Generous people live happier, more fulfilled lives. Studies have shown that generous people are generally happier, healthier, and more satisfied with life. And once they find this satisfaction through generosity, they are less inclined to search for it elsewhere.
- Generous people find meaning outside of their possessions. It is the American way to wrap up self-worth in net-worth… as if a person’s true value could ever be tallied on a balance sheet. Generous people find their value in helping others and quickly realize that their bank statement says nothing about their true value.
- Generous people have more fulfilling relationships. People always enjoy the company of a generous giver to the company of a selfish hoarder. People are naturally attracted towards others who have an open heart to share with others. And a good friend is the best gift you could ever give yourself.
Generous people have less desire for more. They have found fulfillment, meaning, value, and relationships outside of the acquisition of possessions. They have learned to find joy in what they already possess and give away the rest. In other words, they have found true contentment. This contentment naturally leads to even more generosity which leads to even greater contentment which leads to…
Are you searching for contentment in life? If so, try giving something away today. And open up the door for contentment and generosity to collide.
Christine says
Joshua – Thank you for this article. It was just what I needed to read today.
Richard – Thank you for sharing your story about your church. That is a wonderful thing that your church and its congregation did – I hope that your story can inspire others to do the same!
joshua becker says
More churches making those decisions would be beneficial for everybody!
rolf says
hey there,
generosity begins with a smile, a smile from heart is the best medicine for open all hearts like with a key. it’s not difficult, only smiling. i have a post on my blog about smiling.
simple living
sincery
beth says
Recently, I’ve been placing unwanted antique jewelry and other old knicknacks in hollow trees while I walk my dog. I’m a modern day Boo Radley…without the creepiness….just a middle-aged mom/teacher trying to make some kid’s day a bit more magical :-)
Nicole says
beth how adorable is that! What a wonderful thing to do :)
joshua becker says
I appreciate that Beth – not just because it is a super-fun idea, but also because “To Kill A Mockingbird” has always been one of my favorite books.
Lena says
That is the most wonderful idea I’ve heard in a long time. And I LOVED that book as a kid. I have been giving things away on my blog – but this tree idea is even better, and my dog will definitely enjoy the hunt for hollow trees! What a perfect way to turn trinkets and trash into someone else’s treasure.
Reggie says
Hey Josh very good post. I am thinking that with the holidays coming up in a few months, that giving would be the best way I can give back. I’m not positive exactly what I will give but I’m thinking that giving TIME also is something that can bring contentment. Thanks for the food for thought.
Di says
Reggie, Our extended family used to have a gift exchange every Christmas with the value of the gift set at a certain amount. I would always struggle with this, because we did not “need” anything nor did anyone else in the family. Then a few years ago someone in the family came up with a fantastic idea: All participants’ names were put in a box; the person whose name was pulled out got to choose a charity of their choice and all of us would donate the amount we would have spent on a gift to that particular organization. Every year a different family member gets to choose the recipient of our donations. It has worked out beautifully and everyone is happy with the arrangement.
Ramblings of a Woman says
Excellent Joshua! I recently wrote a post about the cure for the american dream, and you have added an excellent twist on that. Once we stop focusing on ourselves so much, it is much easier to be content!
Bernice
http://bernicewood.wordpress.com/2010/08/27/the-cure-for-the-american-dream/
Lisa says
Thank you Joshua. You said this better than I ever could.It is a perfect motto for living life to the fullest possible. Through meaningful giving and freely sharing, we do find peace and contentment. Stuff does not fill our cup. Experiences, sharing, giving, and loving do (and in return, fill others cups as well!). High-five for a timely, and well said post!
Lisa says
Thank you Joshua. You said this better than I ever could. Through giving we do find peace and contentment. Stuff does not fill our cup. Experiences, sharing, giving, and loving do (and in return, fill others cups as well!). High-five for a timely, and well said post!
Virginia says
Excellent post. I am aiming to live a life of a minimalist so I constantly purge my belongings. However, I just cannot seem to let go of my books. Yes. books.
joshua becker says
i hear “books” all the time, virginia.
you are not alone. check out this post written by robyn devine and see if you find it helpful: https://www.becomingminimalist.com/2010/08/09/breaking-the-sentimental-attachment-to-books/
dominique says
Yes, books. I cannot get rid of my study guides.
beth says
We librarians will keep them safe for you :-)
Annabelle says
Beth, I had to comment on your darling note ‘we librarians will keep them safe for you’. AND THAT IS SO TRUE!!! Thank you. We (a family of four, kids are 6 and 7) donated all, I MEAN ALL, our books and CD’s/DVD’s to the local library. This way, they can be utilized by so many other people, AND, if we should want to revisit a certain book or watch a previously owned DVD, all we have to do is WALK to the local library and CHECK THE ITEM(s) OUT!!!
beth says
*smile*
Kate says
I agree as well. I joke with my bookworm daughter and husband how nice it is that we have two libraries in our city just for us.
!BUT!
Do be aware of how politicians tend to cut funding to libraries as one of the first. My mother is head of cataloging in a community college, and I have a librarian friend (assistant librarian in a private college’s library), and he is often red-faced-frustrated at the bureaucracy he has to deal with to get the state to budget a mere thousand more to the college libraries across the state, instead of sending multiple thousands willy-nilly to only the sports departments. I am all for sports, don’t get me wrong. I was in track, swim team, weight-lifting, and cross-country through high school and college, and it gave me firsthand view of the unfair division of funds that the education system has. Perhaps this trouble is only for college and school libraries, but I imagine public libraries* are in a similar boat.
*With their records of past political slip-ups, histories, old newspaper articles, and to say it in one word: TRUTH they let anyone and everyone have access to…well…I can see how many a dishonest person in politics would fidget uncomfortably. *scowl*
Nicole says
This is beautifully written Joshua. I will come back to this post time and time again.
Richard Dahlstrom says
our church has done simple thing these past two years. We’ve challenged the congregation to skip lattes, or parking fees (by taking the bus or riding a bike), or stay at home instead of eating out. They live simply for 50 days, and then we use the savings to dig wells in Uganda. There are now 30 wells in Uganda because one church in Seattle lived differently, just for 50 days. And many of us never looked back, choosing to continue riding to work, etc. Generosity is incredibly life giving. Thanks for pointing us there! You can read a bit about keeping water free for developing countries here: http://bit.ly/cCBm3J
Di says
Richard, what a fantastic plan. I will definitely look into this. Thanks for sharing.
Majeeda says
“Are you searching for contentment in life? If so, try giving something away today.”
I’m already doing it but I love the way you’re inviting us all! Perhaps I’ll give away more! lol
Wonderful post Joshua. The link is hard to ignore and you wrote about it beautifully. I’ve enjoyed the comments too.