We are a society that loves to go shopping.
Black Friday weekend stands as proof.
In America, a holiday previously dedicated to giving thanks has become, instead, a day for families to plan their next shopping trip. According to predictions, over 140 million Americans will go shopping on the Thanksgiving/Black Friday weekend. In total, during the holiday season, Americans will spend $616 billion dollars (source).
We are a culture that loves to acquire more and more. We like to shop for ourselves and we like to shop for others.
But no matter how great the sales, shopping will never deliver the things we desire most. Marketers promise the world, but never deliver.
Consider this list of pursuits, all common to the human spirit, that can never be found in the accumulation of material possessions.
1. Happiness. Shopping may, at times, deliver quick thrills and moments of superficial happiness. But the happiness that comes from buying new things is temporary and fleeting at best. It often fades faster than the purchase we just made. Always remember, there is nothing you can buy that will make you any happier than you have already chosen to be.
2. Fulfillment. Fulfillment is a byproduct of aligning our pursuits with our greatest passions. Too often, society hijacks our passion and causes us to direct it toward temporal things. But nobody gets to the end of their life and wishes they had bought more crap. They wish they had loved more, contributed more, and lived more true to themselves. Our greatest passions are for pursuits greater than material possessions.
3. Significance. Our world is quick to measure success by the amount of money in our bank account, the size of our home, or the model of our car. But, when we begin to shift our life focus to achieving significance instead of success, we wonder why we wasted most of it chasing something different—or what made us think excess was ever a good measurement of success anyway.
4. Influence. More often than we care to admit, the desire to impress others motivates our lives. This desire to impress others impacts the cars we drive, the clothes we wear, the technology we embrace, and the houses we live in. But cars rust, fashions change, and technology advances. The purchases that impressed your neighbor yesterday make no impression today. True, lasting influence is found in the lives that we live, not the things that we buy.
5. Contentment. Marketers pull at our hearts and minds to keep us desiring more. And we are far more susceptible to their messaging than we know. Over time, we begin to believe the lie that our life will be more complete with their product. But contentment can never be found in physical possessions. If it could, our drawers, closets, and garages would not be overflowing. Our discontent is evidenced in our excess. If you are not content today, there is nothing you can buy this weekend to change that. (tweet that)
6. Confidence. Because our society so heavily values physical possessions and worldly success, we often see them as a shortcut to confidence. We fall into a trap thinking our possessions increase our self-assurance. But it is a foolish decision to find our confidence in exterior belongings. Our self-confidence is more adequately found in the appreciation of our uniqueness and our drive to make the most of it.
7. Security. Security lays the foundation upon which many of our life’s choices can be built. It is essential for all other pursuits. I’m all for it. And while I would never argue against developing our talents, working hard, and trading our paychecks for food, shelter, and clothing, I would argue that most of us have exceeded the point of enough a long time ago. Instead, we are confusing security and comfort. And when we spend beyond our means to pursue comfort, our personal debt makes us less secure than if we had just stopped at security in the first place.
8. Gratitude. It is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy. Gratefulness is a life discipline that results from choosing to recognize the many blessings we already possess. It is never a byproduct of shopping. In fact, if we do not feel grateful for what we already have, what makes us think we’d be happy with more?
9. Freedom. Not only does shopping not deliver freedom, it brings the exact opposite. Each purchase we make adds extra worry to our lives. Every physical item we own represents one more thing that can be broken, scratched, or stolen. The sense of freedom that comes from owning less is truly refreshing. Indeed, it is more than a feeling; it is a reality that can define your life.
Shopping never delivers the things we desire most. We will need to look elsewhere.
Sandra Pawula says
I so agree, Joshua! And, I would like to add love to the list. I had a heart-opening experience last night and love is feeling so strong. The kind of love that goes beyond words.
Thanks for encouraging us to put our energy where it really matters.
Lynn Murphy says
Well written Joshua and OH so TRUE! Thank you for the reminder and I have felt this way for quite sometime! I will forward this to all I know! If only everyone would understand this message!
HappinessSavouredHot says
Shopping is just another artificial paradise. Gives you a short-lived “high”, but in the long run, it does not fulfill any actual need. I stay away from it as much as possible. I am happier for it. :-)
Daisy @ Simplicity Relished says
I could not agree more. I spent years loving shopping, snagging sales and constantly wanting more. So glad I’m taking a break from that treadmill and trying to find more creative ways to give and care for loved ones this holiday season! Loved this post Joshua!
Fred Pieplow says
You included ‘shopping for others’ in your intro that stated it can not deliver on your 9 categories. When I buy shoes, clothes, food, and other necessities for those who cannot directly pay me back I do feel fulfilled, content and have a sense of gratitude that I have been gifted in a way that I can share with those not gifted in the same way. God has provided some valuable items to others through me. I think that is OK. Am I missing something?
Erika Hanson says
I believe Joshua meant buying Christmas gifts for others, not buying for others what they cannot afford to buy for themselves. That is entirely different. The focus of this article is in the buying frenzy of Black Friday.
joshua becker says
Sorry for any confusion Fred. I certainly was not referring to those who use their financial resources to meet the needs of others. In fact, generosity is a major theme on this site. Not only does minimalism make it even more possible, but because of minimalism, I have come to realize the most fulfilling thing I can ever do with my money is to give it away. I had more in mind the shopping carts full on plastic toys heading to homes already filled with them.
Aleen Smith says
Joshua, you are my inspiration and my mentor. Thank you! I love this statement: “I have come to realize the most fulfilling thing I can ever do with my money is to give it away.” When I was working, I tithed for many years, but I also consumed and consumed and consumed… Now I live only on social security and have no savings. Slowly and surely I am clearing my life of “things.” Just in the past month I realized I am perfectly able to give money away again. I hadn’t done it in so long, I’d forgotten how wonderful it feels! And paypal (and other tools like it) make monthly giving so easy: $10 here, $15 there, it all adds up. And I give to small, local charities where I know the money goes to the needy, not to “overhead.” I’ve just begun this journey, inspired by you, and I am sooooo grateful!
dara bestviews says
when I reading this article. I interested and like all statement.
Aneeqah @ My Not So Real Life says
There’s so much beauty in this blog post. I’m spending time with my family today instead of going shopping, and it’s quite wonderful. I think there’s a lot more significance in memories than anything else, and lately, that’s what I’ve been trying to focus on in my own life. Things can be nice, but you’re totally right when you say they can restrict you as well.
Gorgeous blog post! Thank you for sharing!
David Jones says
Great article !!! I really interesting during reading your article. Thanks for your time in writing this.
Steven says
What a nice reading. Can’t wait for more.
LL in Prescott says
I guess it’s a good thing for me that I hate to shop and avoid it at all costs. Shopping for food is a drudge necessity. I try to remember to be grateful that I have money to shop for food; many do not. We are so out of the loop of holiday shopping. I was in a public place and saw some ad on the weather channel for Black Friday. It was a Black weatherman. At first, I was thinking it was a new African-American holiday. Black Friday? What is that? And then I remembered from long ago and had to laugh. Simply cannot relate to the buying frenzy.
Jazzy says
I’m with you on hating shopping – I don’t even grocery shop which my dear hubby does for me…..as he works in a grocery store its not such a stretch for him as he knows the bargains.
Christmas is really not a problem – we don’t buy for each other but we do have a big dinner that we invite a few members of both families to join us in – ones who don’t have extended family.
It’s been a wonderful journey to get here, and the journey just keeps going….:)
Hannah says
Totally agree with you, especially about contentment.
If anyone wants to discuss things to do with minimalism with other minimalist or wants advise on how to become a minimalist please take a look at my message board.
http://becomingminimalistic.net/forums/
Alphonse says
Joshua,
Thou I call myself the Acquisitionist, I’m totally in agreement with you. Your blog has touched my life in so many ways and I often refer others to you! Yesterday as I was heading to my niece’s withy parents for thanksgiving my Mother mentioned how people were already camping out for Black Friday. It’s ashame people are more focused on stuff instead of having an Experience with family and friends. Thanks again for spreading the keys to happiness and freedom in life! Alphonse
Suzannah says
Wrote a blog about this today, and linked back to this article. A simple message. Thanks for the reminders!
http://www.suzannahkolbeck.com/black-friday/