We are a society that loves to go shopping.
Black Friday weekend stands as proof.
In America, a holiday previously dedicated to giving thanks has become, instead, a day for families to plan their next shopping trip. According to predictions, over 140 million Americans will go shopping on the Thanksgiving/Black Friday weekend. In total, during the holiday season, Americans will spend $616 billion dollars (source).
We are a culture that loves to acquire more and more. We like to shop for ourselves and we like to shop for others.
But no matter how great the sales, shopping will never deliver the things we desire most. Marketers promise the world, but never deliver.
Consider this list of pursuits, all common to the human spirit, that can never be found in the accumulation of material possessions.
1. Happiness. Shopping may, at times, deliver quick thrills and moments of superficial happiness. But the happiness that comes from buying new things is temporary and fleeting at best. It often fades faster than the purchase we just made. Always remember, there is nothing you can buy that will make you any happier than you have already chosen to be.
2. Fulfillment. Fulfillment is a byproduct of aligning our pursuits with our greatest passions. Too often, society hijacks our passion and causes us to direct it toward temporal things. But nobody gets to the end of their life and wishes they had bought more crap. They wish they had loved more, contributed more, and lived more true to themselves. Our greatest passions are for pursuits greater than material possessions.
3. Significance. Our world is quick to measure success by the amount of money in our bank account, the size of our home, or the model of our car. But, when we begin to shift our life focus to achieving significance instead of success, we wonder why we wasted most of it chasing something different—or what made us think excess was ever a good measurement of success anyway.
4. Influence. More often than we care to admit, the desire to impress others motivates our lives. This desire to impress others impacts the cars we drive, the clothes we wear, the technology we embrace, and the houses we live in. But cars rust, fashions change, and technology advances. The purchases that impressed your neighbor yesterday make no impression today. True, lasting influence is found in the lives that we live, not the things that we buy.
5. Contentment. Marketers pull at our hearts and minds to keep us desiring more. And we are far more susceptible to their messaging than we know. Over time, we begin to believe the lie that our life will be more complete with their product. But contentment can never be found in physical possessions. If it could, our drawers, closets, and garages would not be overflowing. Our discontent is evidenced in our excess. If you are not content today, there is nothing you can buy this weekend to change that. (tweet that)
6. Confidence. Because our society so heavily values physical possessions and worldly success, we often see them as a shortcut to confidence. We fall into a trap thinking our possessions increase our self-assurance. But it is a foolish decision to find our confidence in exterior belongings. Our self-confidence is more adequately found in the appreciation of our uniqueness and our drive to make the most of it.
7. Security. Security lays the foundation upon which many of our life’s choices can be built. It is essential for all other pursuits. I’m all for it. And while I would never argue against developing our talents, working hard, and trading our paychecks for food, shelter, and clothing, I would argue that most of us have exceeded the point of enough a long time ago. Instead, we are confusing security and comfort. And when we spend beyond our means to pursue comfort, our personal debt makes us less secure than if we had just stopped at security in the first place.
8. Gratitude. It is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy. Gratefulness is a life discipline that results from choosing to recognize the many blessings we already possess. It is never a byproduct of shopping. In fact, if we do not feel grateful for what we already have, what makes us think we’d be happy with more?
9. Freedom. Not only does shopping not deliver freedom, it brings the exact opposite. Each purchase we make adds extra worry to our lives. Every physical item we own represents one more thing that can be broken, scratched, or stolen. The sense of freedom that comes from owning less is truly refreshing. Indeed, it is more than a feeling; it is a reality that can define your life.
Shopping never delivers the things we desire most. We will need to look elsewhere.
Gunhild says
My local shops had a Black Friday sale. I live in Denmark, but they don’t translate, they simply call it Black Friday. We don’t have a holiday, we don’t celebrate Thanks Giving, but the shops have a Black Friday. Of course they do. Just like they adopted Valentines Day years ago.
Thanks for a good article, Joshua.
Dara says
Great negative points about shopping…do like the post!!!
Pat says
I don’t participate in black friday shopping, so not a big deal for me to not shop. What has been a wonderful this year so far, is that this is the first year our family is not purchasing gifts for each other or friends. I had discussed this several months ago with everyone, so no surprises. We have decided that everyone has what they need and a few of us are a little low on finances. We have no young children around, so no purchases there, which we would do something else for them instead.
Everyone will bring food and we will watch home videos, play a few games, have a puzzle going, and just hang out. I feel NO STRESS!!! It is great, and I like to look at all the decorations and silly gifts for sale, and just enjoy that. Now if I could get away with no Christmas cards, I’d be set. To me, cards are a waste of money. You throw them in the trash anyway!
Barb says
“It is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Perfect.
Beverley Macneill says
Thank you for this post. The shopping frenzy on Black Friday really does make a mockery of Thanksgiving Day especially when people are running out on family to line up in front of stores. We Canadians used to shake our heads at this behavior but now our vendors are causing us to do the same. The actions of some people upon the store opening are abhorrent. Pushing, shoving and trampling people down all in pursuit of a bargain is reprehensible! I have been living the minimalist life-style for a year. I agree with all of your points and I have forwarded your post to all on my e-mail list. Thank you again.
Alison says
I like this, but a few comments on 8&9. Gratitude: Having spent time in developing countries, I am often grateful simply buying things in a supermarket, because I am aware of the access, the choice and the cash I have in my pocket. I am also grateful for the people working in the stores and whomever got what I a buying to where it is…mindful and budget conscious purchases are quite different than shopping to attain your previous points. I shop for quality not quantity. Also, although our society has overdone gifts, my husband who grew up in one of the world’s poorest countries, delights in giving reasonable gifts to our children. Buying my son a bicycle will bring us all joy. :) My husband is also sadden that so many children never know the feeling of a Christmas gift. Freedom: perhaps buying things does not give freedom, but the freedom to buy what I wish is significant. Not everyone in the world can do it…so, I would counter that shopping (again done mindfully) can be an expression of freedom.
That said, I have been pondering if we could permanently do away with Christas presents and those “unecessay” gifts that just pad the pile. A bicycle is that much more exciting if you are not used to an excess of other gifts…
Judy says
I refuse to shop on Black Friday. It feels great not to be a part of the madness. :) If I didn’t have to work, I wouldn’t even leave the house.
Bob Pepe says
I also refuse to shop at ANY store that opens on Thanksgiving.. That is just wrong on so many levels
Daniela says
Black Friday has been a God send for me. I’m already a minimalist, so I use this time of year to capitalize on buying my necessities at any even cheaper price than usual. It’s awesome! And then with the extra money saved I use a few bucks to buy something small for my loved ones(not necessarily as a Christmas gift, but just for the next time I want to give them something.)
Laura at SimplyClearly says
This article really hit home with me and what I feel should really be the focus during this season, and really every day. I find that #8, gratitude is the benefit that I really see from stepping back and not shopping so much. The realization that you CAN buy something, but are choosing not to, really brings home the gratitude for how much you already have.
Jacqueline says
same the world over, people are greedy, never satisfied, when you take a look at all the pointless possessions we all accumulate and then chose to get rid of do you see how crazy it all is, i have filled charity shops for years, and when i had a massive clear out did i give thought to why i buy things and then 6months later regret it and donate it, what a waste of hard earned money. Now i think more carefully and then buy, but i think its important to have balance nothing wrong with treats and giving to others, its quick fixes, they don,t really fix much, they often break or ruin in no time, i buy less but better quality, i am wearing clothes out before buying new and being selective, i have wasted so much money on rubbish thats what upsets me. love Jacqueline xxxx
Jazzy says
I haven’t bought new clothes in close to 3 years now – just second hand…its become more like a treasure hunt….
I desired a red sweater for a Christmas party I was attending to I went to my local thrifter and found two…one heavy and one lighter and since red is my fave colour I purchased both. $8.00 dollars later I had 2 new red items and 2 in a donation bag to go (one in, one out is my rule)
Tracy B. says
I agree that shopping has become far too much a priority for many. It saddens me to see people cutting their Thanksgiving short to get an early start on Christmas.
That said, I would like to offer two observations. First, this shopping frenzy goes beyond America (http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-30241459). Second, I actually found my passion by something bought on Black Friday. It was my first digital camera, a cheap one, and I bought it just as a toy to fool around with. It quickly became a serious interest which has provided quite a bit of creative fulfillment. Now, it’s true that owning the camera only made this possible, and it is knowledge and skill that really make it fulfilling, yet it was a shopping expedition that brought it all about. So I would add to what’s been said that it’s what you do with your purchases that determines whether or not they are an empty promise.