“The potential possibilities of any child are the most intriguing and stimulating in all creation.” —Ray L. Wilbur
Toys are not merely playthings. Toys form the building blocks for our child’s future. They teach our children about the world and about themselves. They send messages and communicate values. And thus, wise parents think about what foundation is being laid by the toys that are given to their kids.
Wise parents also think about the number of toys that children are given. While most toy rooms and bedrooms today are filled to the ceiling with toys, intentional parents learn to limit the number of toys that kids have to play with.
They understand that fewer toys and practicing a minimalist approach will actually benefit their children in the long-term:
1. Kids learn to be more creative. Too many toys prevent kids from fully developing their gift of imagination. Two German public health workers (Strick and Schubert) conducted an experiment in which they convinced a kindergarten classroom to remove all of their toys for three months. Although boredom set in during the initial stages of the experiment, the children soon began to use their basic surroundings to invent games and use imagination in their playing.
2. Kids develop longer attention spans. When too many toys are introduced into a child’s life, their attention span will begin to suffer. A child will rarely learn to fully appreciate the toy in front of them when there are countless options still remaining on the shelf behind them.
3. Kids establish better social skills. Children with fewer toys learn how to develop interpersonal relationships with other kids and adults. They learn the give and take of a good conversation. And studies have attributed childhood friendships to a greater chance of success academically and in social situations during adulthood. Better relationships as a child also tend to lead happier lives in adulthood.
4. Kids learn to take greater care of things. When kids have too many toys, they will naturally take less care of them. They will not learn to value them if there is always a replacement ready at hand. If you have a child who is constantly damaging their toys, just take a bunch away. He will quickly learn.
5. Kids develop a greater love for reading, writing, and art. Fewer toys allows your children to love books, music, coloring, and painting. And a love for art will help them better appreciate beauty, emotion, and communication in their world. It’ll also keep them away from getting used to an unhealthy amount of screen time.
6. Kids become more resourceful. In education, students aren’t just given the answer to a problem; they are given the tools to find the answer. In entertainment and play, the same principle can be applied. Fewer toys causes children to become resourceful by solving problems with only the materials at hand. And resourcefulness is a gift with unlimited potential.
7. Kids argue with each other less. This may seem counter-intuitive. Many parents believe that more toys will result in less fighting because there are more options available. However, the opposite is true far too often. Siblings argue about toys. And every time we introduce a new toy into the relationship, we give them another reason to establish their “territory” among the others. On the other hand, siblings with fewer toys are forced to share, collaborate, and work together.
8. Kids learn perseverance. Children who have too many toys give up too quickly. If they have a toy that they can’t figure out, it will quickly be discarded for the sake of a different, easier one. Kids with fewer toys learn perseverance, patience, and determination.
9. Kids become less selfish. Kids who get everything they want believe they can have everything they want. This attitude will quickly lead to an unhealthy (and unbecoming) lifestyle.
10. Kids experience more of nature. Children who do not have a basement full of toys are more apt to play outside and develop a deep appreciation for nature. They are also more likely to be involved in physical exercise which results in healthier and happier bodies.
11. Kids learn to find satisfaction outside of the toy store. True joy and contentment will never be found in the aisles of a toy store. Kids who have been raised to think the answer to their desires can be bought with money have believed the same lie as their parents. Instead, children need encouragement to live counter-cultural lives finding joy in things that truly last.
12. Kids live in a cleaner, tidier home. If you have children, you know that toy clutter can quickly take over an entire home. Fewer toys results in a less-cluttered, cleaner, healthier home.
I’m not anti-toy. I’m just pro-child. So do your child a favor today and limit their number of toys. (Just don’t tell them you got the idea from me.)
If you’re looking for a little extra help in this area, check out my book: Clutterfree with Kids and this article on our most creative decluttering tips.
Twin Mom says
I find that many building toys (Legos, Lincoln Logs, K’nex) and imaginative toys (Little People) are more fun when you have a lot. You can build far more complex structures and engage in more complex play. I’m glad my parents didn’t subscribe to this theory- building the same small Lincoln Log house over and over would have been so BORING.
Jaimie says
What a great post. I agree wholeheartedly with every single point.
Michelle says
I forgot the .com at the end of my website url…ooops. I guess it’s a morning thing. :)
Michelle says
Such and wonderful post. Yes, it is so true that when children have fewer toys they seem to thrive in other areas of their lives. We’ve made drastic changes in our family’s lives over the past year or so, and have seen big changes in our children. They were great kids before, but since we’ve downsized our possessions, and stopped watching network television, their interests in other things have skyrocketed. They also get along with each other much better too. Now they love to go outside and garden, invent games of their own to play, and have a much greater interest in literature. Thanks for sharing this! :)
Karen says
This is a huge problem in our household! With the only grandchildren on both sides of the family, the influx of toys can be overwhelming. I have absolutely no problem paring down my personal belongings, but the kids (and the spouse) are another story.
Once a month or so, I force the kids to fill a grocery bag with things to donate. They whine about it, but I think even they realize that they have too much stuff, and after it’s done, they seem calmer and more appreciative of their belongings. It’s important to let them do the choosing. I learned the hard way that trying to do it surreptitiously creates hard feelings.
Another strategy we’ve adopted is going to the library regularly instead of going shopping. As avid readers, we’re prone to collect books. Checking books and toys out of the library provides the novelty of something new without the long-term commitment and keeps the house from looking like a Barnes and Noble.
Here’s another idea for Legos: connect with other parents of Lego-loving kids and build a lending library. Package up those Star Wars, Indiana Jones, etc. projects in zippered plastic bags along with the instructions and let the kids exchange them once a month or so.
Finally, stay far, far away from fast food restaurants that give out free toys!
Defibrilator says
Karen April 15, 2010 said in her comment “Finally, stay far, far away from fast food restaurants that give out free toys!”
When corporations engage in this activity (giving away collectable free toys) they are using Psychological Theory against children. At a certain stage of a child’s development they feel the need to collect things and put them in their correct order (some of us don’t outgrow it). If I remember my Nursing education at uni it was Piaget’s (sp.) theory of serriation (sp.).
It angers me when ever I see this psychological trick employed against children.
Sorry to get on my high horse
:-)
Greg T. says
All true. A couple other benefits I see are – kids grow up not “needing” more stuff.. and kids place more value on the things they do get. To many kids are given too much stuff and there is little appreciation for it.
There is also the underlying reasons why kids get so much stuff in the 1st place that need to be addressed… such as substituting stuff for time/relationship with their children and competing with the Jones’.
irishjules says
At birthday’s I have asked friends who come to their party to donate to a charity. They love it especially when the card tells them who they are helping! My kids still get presents from us and their relatives (about 5-very manageable). Also before their birthday we donate 5-10 items.
For birthday parties I usually invite some of their friends over to eat and play and celebrate with cake. I do not send them hope with goodie bags or gifts. It has been such a great experience for all of us – the kids don’t miss the gifts. Honestly, do you remember what your friends gave you at your party or do you remember the party? We still have a great time and add a theme to the party but it is scaled down and simple work for me!
Simplicity and helping others!
action figures says
There is a lot of truth being said here, and not surprisingly it goes around the subject of your blog that less is more, I like it.
And it’s not just the number of toys, it’s the number of technological devices like cell phones and the likes, which in a sense, could be considered the toys. These things are slowly de-socializing people. Kids nowadays break up through SMS and instead of playing with action figures or dolls, they’re addicted to little cheap ass mini games on Facebook or any other video games in general.
Which reminds me, what do you say to a young boy when you give him a Gi Joe, action figure or doll?. You’d be surprised with all the gender stereotypes advertising has given us.
coco says
i think over doing toys puts an emphasis on “things”. i don’t have many things myself and my kids don’t either.
we have 3 kids. the older 2 are 9 and 11. they share a TV, and a computer. they have a few nerf guns that shoot soft darts. they have a football and a basketball. they have a few books. they share everything. they have matching wallets (one red, one blue) they keep their money organized and buy mostly taco bell and candy with it. they don’t even ask for toys at the store. we only get stuff on birthdays and christmas. they also share a bedroom too, which most people consider a hardship.
our baby, 7 months, has a very small toy basket. he has about 3 soft toys, some baby keys, a teething ring and a couple baby balls.
i actually feel sorry for kids who have their rooms crammed full of stuff. it’s impossible to keep organized. and sends message that everything will be handed to them in life which is usually not the case.
i never had many toys growing up, and we often donated to salvation army etc.
joshua becker says
thanks for the comments everybody. generally speaking, child experts recommend toys that encourage imagination and creativity (lego’s, play-doh, blocks, dolls, etc.). these kinds of toys don’t do the “entertaining,” they facilitate learning and therefore, grow with your child.
on the other hand, toys that are purely entertaining (push a button, watch the train) don’t encourage creativity. they are also the first toys left to collect dust in the corner.