“The potential possibilities of any child are the most intriguing and stimulating in all creation.” —Ray L. Wilbur
Toys are not merely playthings. Toys form the building blocks for our child’s future. They teach our children about the world and about themselves. They send messages and communicate values. And thus, wise parents think about what foundation is being laid by the toys that are given to their kids.
Wise parents also think about the number of toys that children are given. While most toy rooms and bedrooms today are filled to the ceiling with toys, intentional parents learn to limit the number of toys that kids have to play with.
They understand that fewer toys and practicing a minimalist approach will actually benefit their children in the long-term:
1. Kids learn to be more creative. Too many toys prevent kids from fully developing their gift of imagination. Two German public health workers (Strick and Schubert) conducted an experiment in which they convinced a kindergarten classroom to remove all of their toys for three months. Although boredom set in during the initial stages of the experiment, the children soon began to use their basic surroundings to invent games and use imagination in their playing.
2. Kids develop longer attention spans. When too many toys are introduced into a child’s life, their attention span will begin to suffer. A child will rarely learn to fully appreciate the toy in front of them when there are countless options still remaining on the shelf behind them.
3. Kids establish better social skills. Children with fewer toys learn how to develop interpersonal relationships with other kids and adults. They learn the give and take of a good conversation. And studies have attributed childhood friendships to a greater chance of success academically and in social situations during adulthood. Better relationships as a child also tend to lead happier lives in adulthood.
4. Kids learn to take greater care of things. When kids have too many toys, they will naturally take less care of them. They will not learn to value them if there is always a replacement ready at hand. If you have a child who is constantly damaging their toys, just take a bunch away. He will quickly learn.
5. Kids develop a greater love for reading, writing, and art. Fewer toys allows your children to love books, music, coloring, and painting. And a love for art will help them better appreciate beauty, emotion, and communication in their world. It’ll also keep them away from getting used to an unhealthy amount of screen time.
6. Kids become more resourceful. In education, students aren’t just given the answer to a problem; they are given the tools to find the answer. In entertainment and play, the same principle can be applied. Fewer toys causes children to become resourceful by solving problems with only the materials at hand. And resourcefulness is a gift with unlimited potential.
7. Kids argue with each other less. This may seem counter-intuitive. Many parents believe that more toys will result in less fighting because there are more options available. However, the opposite is true far too often. Siblings argue about toys. And every time we introduce a new toy into the relationship, we give them another reason to establish their “territory” among the others. On the other hand, siblings with fewer toys are forced to share, collaborate, and work together.
8. Kids learn perseverance. Children who have too many toys give up too quickly. If they have a toy that they can’t figure out, it will quickly be discarded for the sake of a different, easier one. Kids with fewer toys learn perseverance, patience, and determination.
9. Kids become less selfish. Kids who get everything they want believe they can have everything they want. This attitude will quickly lead to an unhealthy (and unbecoming) lifestyle.
10. Kids experience more of nature. Children who do not have a basement full of toys are more apt to play outside and develop a deep appreciation for nature. They are also more likely to be involved in physical exercise which results in healthier and happier bodies.
11. Kids learn to find satisfaction outside of the toy store. True joy and contentment will never be found in the aisles of a toy store. Kids who have been raised to think the answer to their desires can be bought with money have believed the same lie as their parents. Instead, children need encouragement to live counter-cultural lives finding joy in things that truly last.
12. Kids live in a cleaner, tidier home. If you have children, you know that toy clutter can quickly take over an entire home. Fewer toys results in a less-cluttered, cleaner, healthier home.
I’m not anti-toy. I’m just pro-child. So do your child a favor today and limit their number of toys. (Just don’t tell them you got the idea from me.)
If you’re looking for a little extra help in this area, check out my book: Clutterfree with Kids and this article on our most creative decluttering tips.
Kate says
Oh, a topic dear to my heart as well. With five moves in four years, one overseas, we pared down a lot, and have a basic minimalist set-up with many parts of the household. (Like, I have exactly 50 articles of clothing, socks, undergarmets, gloves, scarves, and jackets included. I want to pare down to 30.)
MIL loves to gift, as well as my childrens’ uncles and aunts. I told them straight from the get-go what is okay to give: Legos, Dolls, wee figurines (like Schliech) and that’s it. If they act a bit unsure, I also say that if they aren’t sure what to give, a bit to her savings account is also a nice idea, and inevitably they brighten up at the thought of being a provider for her future.
My mother sends books (like I said, one move was overseas), and she and I discuss what books come. Often I can catch the book cheaper here (Amazon.co.uk or it’s already in the library) than she can buy and ship it. It takes a bit of coordination, but the bookshelves aren’t overfilled. She only fills 2 shelves with her things! What a lovely girl.
Now me, with my nine bookshelves…well…I need to be a better role model, let’s say.
joanne says
I am excited to try this minimalist idea. My two daughters have way too many toys, and although I do give many away, they always seem to multiply; especially at the holidays. This year each daughter has asked for only one toy (I am so proud). I am going to give most of their toys away as they are outgrowing them. I am also going to try to downsize their wardrobes as they have way too many clothes and the needy could certainly use them. Thank you all for your wonderful advice and commentary! Love the website.
nathaly says
nao quero pergunta nada obrigado.
canon says
We have 3 children–the oldest is a girl, 5 then a son that is 2 and another that just turned 1. I never had lots of toys as a kid, and from what I experienced, you are right–me and my 6 brothers and sisters found creative ways to entertain ourselves. We haven’t given our kids many toys, but enough that I don’t feel I want to add to them this Christmas. They are only ever given toys on there birthday and on Christmas. In fact, our 1 year old hasn’t gotten a new present from us yet. His recent birthday, we gave him some toys that our older son got for Christmas and his birthday in the last 2 years, that he has out grown. Must say aside from keeping clutter to a minimum, it helps with the pocket book too! My only problem is, I absolutely love Christmas morning with all the presents under the tree and to see my kids faces gleaming with excitement. I keep pondering how I can keep that alive, while at the same time keeping toys to a minimum??? We thought of buying them a trampoline–one big present for all, but that still doesn’t bring the atmosphere that I am hoping to create! Any ideas???
Tasha says
For my daughters first birthday, I actually called the family and asked them not to spoil her. She is the grandchild on my side, and the 3rd on my husbands side. I was afraid at first, but most of them understood. She ended up getting 4 toys total, a box of books, and clothes. I would rather have an excess of clothes verses toys.
T. says
I took a stance a few years back that I will do 4 presents:
Something Warm
Something to Read
Something you Want
Something you Need.
It’s fun to watch older children getting creative as they try to fit their wish list into these categories. Within each, there is a book, a toy and a piece of clothing. (I also have a “no digital” gift policy for my teenager.) It’s a good lesson for my kiddos ages 3-19.
This year, one of the 4 gifts will also be handmade to encourage my creative side and teach my children the graciousness in receiving a handmade gift from a loved one.
Stacy says
I couldn’t agree more, in fact I have been “toying” with the idea of asking people not to give toys to my son at his upcoming birthday party and suggest other ideas. I don’t know if it would be rude to put such a request on the invites or not but he already has far too many toys. It wouldn’t be so bad from what my husband and I buy but all of the birthdays and Christmases have brought the number of toys out of control.
I like the idea of boxing up toys and then rotating them in and out so that they all seem new when brought out. I also like the idea of donating 75% of them to charity too.
Leapfrog says
Fantastic post, I’ve got eight kids myself, and they all love playing games.
Angelina says
my mother bought my son a poster for his room and swim trunks because i put my foot down and said no more toys!!!!! i donated a ton of toys she was upset at first but with the truth she doesnt want to buy him things because now she knows im serious about him not needing them, i packed up most toys and allowed him to keep out his favorites less tantrums mored creativity its great.
Lindsay says
I just found this site a couple weeks ago and have been reading from the begining. I too have a problem with having the only grandsons in the family. I finally convinced my parents that clothes (in the next size up) and books are the best, so that controlled some of the mess. My MIL is another story entirely-she sends things ALL the time. The worst was in Jan. when she came to help after my second son was born-she asked where some of the toys she sent before were–I had donated them just before Christmas because they were never played with! I told her they were packed so my son didn’t have too many out at a time-we do rotate the toys, so she still doesn’t know they are gone. If anyone has any ideas to help with gifts like this, I’m sure there are many of us who would love to try them.