Your Life is Far Too Valuable to Live Like Everyone Else

by joshua becker

Don’t think you’re on the right road just because it’s a well-beaten path.” – Author Unknown

I made a significant decision when I was young that I have never regretted. Simply put, I decided that I did not have to live my life like everyone else. I would live my own life. I would pursue things of lasting value rather than the newest fads of society chased by everyone else.

It sounds simple enough. Yet, countless multitudes will never make that decision.

Instead, they will succumb to the pressure to conform. They will live their life purchasing the trendiest products and fashion released to the masses – not because they actually need them, but just because their neighbors bought them. They will base many of their life decisions on the celebrity spokespersons’ pitch of the day. They will waste their energy trying to keep up with the Joneses.. all for the elusive purpose of conformity. And in exchange, they will lose their life and forfeit their soul.

Decide today to live your life. You do not need to live life like everyone else. Your life is far too valuable to be wasted on the life that everyone else is choosing.

Here are a few steps that I have found to be very helpful. Use them to get you started (or continue you along):

1. Celebrate your uniqueness. Your life was never meant to be lived like everyone else. You don’t look the same, you don’t sound the same, and your personality is special. Your deep-held values are unique. Even your laugh sets you apart. Throwing that away just for the sake of looking and living like everyone else is one of the cruelest things that you can ever do – it will always prevent you from fully living your life. Instead, champion the things that make you unique. Celebrate them.

2. Realize that most peoples’ lives are heading toward destruction. Just consider the latest statistics. For example: Last year, on average, Americans carried $8,100 in consumer credit (not mortgage debt) – that is $8,100 for every man, woman, and child in America. It’s no wonder 46% of Americans say they suffer from debt-related stress. And according to the American Medical Association, stress is a factor in more than 75% of sickness today. In addition, The Americans for Divorce Reform estimates that soon “50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue.” One of the leading factors? You got it, financial problems.

3. Accept the truth that there is a better life out there. Reading through the statistics above, one can not help but say, “There must be something better out there.” There is and there always has been. Unfortunately, most people are so busy tripping over each other to purchase culture’s newest release that they miss out completely on the better life. Do not be fooled. The better life is not being mass-produced in a factory… you won’t find it on the shelves in a department store. It has never been found there. And never will be.

4. Identify your values and allow them to guide your life. Grab a piece of paper and pencil. Across the top write, “What I most want to accomplish in life.” Begin making a list. Post that list some where that you will notice it every single morning. Allow it to shape your life. Base your decisions about time, energy, and money on those values. Allow them to guide your life even when they take you down a narrower road than everyone else.

5. Find a mentor that you admire. Surely you are not alone in your desire to live a better, more fulfilling life. Others have traveled the same road prior to you. Seek them out because you will need to look hard for them - they are uncommon. Perhaps they are in your family, your organization, your spirituality, or on your library shelves. Whether in person or through their writings, soak up as much as you can from them. Learn from them and be inspired by them. Follow their life, not the masses.

6. Reflect, reflect, reflect. Regularly pull away to meditate, contemplate, and reflect. An unexamined life is not worth living because the pull to conform has always been too great. Our lives will always ”drift” in the direction of conformity if we lose our directional bearings. Withdraw often. Review your list of values and reflect on the current trajectory of your life. Is it headed towards the end you desire… or just following the easy road of everyone else?

Your life is valuable. It is the greatest asset you own. It holds potential for great things. Don’t let it slip into mediocrity by choosing to live it just like everyone else. It is not a worthy trade.

{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

Pablo June 7, 2010 at 10:45 am

Great post. Greetings from South America!
I also think that Celebrate our uniqueness is very important. But sometimes we forget that, and choose (big mistake) to imitate others.

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John McLachlan June 7, 2010 at 11:37 am

Thank you for this inspiring post which acts as a reminder for all of us about pursuing our lives in our own unique ways.

I’ve generally done this with my life, but there are still ares of it that I’ve not been very good at and I’ve succumbed to living in ways I don’t like. Self awareness is the key.

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Candice June 7, 2010 at 11:47 am

I have a quote that I found a while back that I have have saved to pretty much everything I own. Its on my desktop, my cell phone, my email, etc. The quote reads “You don’t have to live your life the way other people expect you to.”

It especially comes in handy on the days when I’m at work and start getting down on myself, such as when others are ordering food and I’ve packed, or when someone is able to take a vacation that I’m not. It’s a good reminder for me that I don’t have to do everything everyone else does, and that there are good and valid reasons why I’m doing things the way I’m doing them. I’m not eating out because I’m saving that money towards something (right now its paying off debt), or I’m not taking that vacation because I don’t want to put it on the credit card and be paying for it for 10+ years.

(Actually, now that I google it… the quote came from here: http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2009/09/you-dont-have-to-live-your-life-the-way-other-people-expect-you-to.html)

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Ed Burns June 7, 2010 at 9:07 pm

Great post! I can’t agree more. I quit my job last week to devote the rest of my life to freeing people from the bonds of debt. Like you said, debt destroys families and dreams. Thanks again for your inspiring words! Keep up the good work!

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SimplyMe June 7, 2010 at 9:15 pm

This is an inspiring post and I agree with all of your points. To live like everyone else seems like the easy way out if you ask me. “Go with the flow, stick with the norm, don’t rock the boat.” I think if most people stopped to reflect on your points they’d realize they’re not happy living like everyone else, yet a lot of people lack the courage to stray from trends and create their own reality. If they’d only just give it a try…

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Sara June 8, 2010 at 12:28 am

LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! What a great reminder. I think I am going to print this out and carry it with me for a while. Its a great reminder that we arent all the same and need not try. Thank you!

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Ahmad Fadli June 8, 2010 at 5:21 am

I got the quote of “You don’t have to live your life the way everyone else expect you to” from AONC:-)

Anyway, this post comes at the right time. As someone who considers himself minimalist, it is indeed challenging to be a minimalist.

I am a graduate who doesn’t own a car and no house mortgage yet. In my country, the norm is that once you graduate, get a car to mark your ‘arrival’.

Lucky thing I realised those are only external symbols of success. The actual meaning of success. I define it myself. Because I am the one who is living my own life.

Yes Joshua, my life is far too valuable to live it like everyone else.

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Marci@OvercomingBusy June 8, 2010 at 8:31 am

My husband and I have always tried to be out of the box thinkers. Our family and friends think we are a bit crazy because we don’t just float along with the same current as everyone else around us. Frankly, if we catch ourselves doing whatever everyone else is doing, its our sign to stop!!

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joy with less June 8, 2010 at 9:38 am

Incredibly inspiring post! It has taken me a bit longer than everyone else to come to this awareness, but it’s never too late to start.

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Vincent - B-basic.com (from the Netherlands) June 8, 2010 at 2:12 pm

Thank you for this post. I celebrate my uniqueness every single day.
That itself, is my inspiration!

Kind regards,
Vincent – writer of a dutch blog

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Gip @ So Much More Life June 8, 2010 at 5:04 pm

I’ve been a non-conforming weirdo all my life, and I enjoy it more everyday. It’s no fun being like everyone else.

This, of course, comes from the guy whose blog looks a lot like yours –although not quite as much as it used to.

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Kris June 12, 2010 at 6:07 pm

I learned long ago that possessions don’t make you happy. Sometimes they even drag you down. And they often collect dust and need cleaning and organising. Less time possessions means less time spent on maintaining/cleaning them and more time to enjoy life.

Yeeha I’m going minimalist. Just gotta convince the kiddos.

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J June 16, 2010 at 7:25 am

What a wonderful post! You worded it so perfectly.

This is a battle I’ve been struggling with for so long – living like everyone else makes me so unhappy, yet it can be so scary to be the only one in many that’s different. Only recently have I really come to terms with myself and decided, no, I Will be unique whether or not others like it – because it suits ME.

You have some good pieces of advice, and in terms of finding a mentor – well there is a great one right here :) I’ve found this blog very inspiring. Thank you for sharing :)

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Lotta August 10, 2010 at 9:56 pm

HALLELUJAH!

I am so happy to say I have been finding Me all over again. A happier, clearer, purpose driven me without the accroutrements considered essential to be one of “them”.

What a wonderful post – keep it up Joshua x

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Jill August 29, 2010 at 6:03 pm

What a perfect post to help promote “Chaos Control” among my readers. LIfe does get to hectic and we start to look for peace, happiness and value in the wrong places.
Thanks for sharing!

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Jill August 29, 2010 at 6:06 pm

What a perfect post to help promote “Chaos Control” among my readers. LIfe does get to hectic and we start to look for peace, happiness and value in the wrong places.
Thank you for educating us on the simple steps we can take to decrease our stress and improve our relationships.

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Ann December 13, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Amen! Über enlightening post! I’m tired of the obnoxious joneses…. Beginning to live fad free….

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Gavin December 13, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Great post! Personally I feel point 5. Find a mentor that you admire. is the most important. In fact I would suggest that you find one to look upon for every area of you life. Thanks for the inspiration.

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Beth December 14, 2012 at 7:46 am

I love going against the grain!

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