“If you haven’t time to respond to a tug at your pants leg, your schedule is too crowded.” – Robert Brault
Whether you are a parent or not, there is a child in your life. And whether you have money in your bank account or not, you have something they need:
- Love. More important than anything else, children need your love. When children are loved, they develop self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence, and a capacity to love others.
- Time/Attention. Children need your interest and attention. They need quality time with you and they need quantity time with you. The most valuable resource you have is your time, give some to a child everyday.
- Encouragement/Affirmation. Sometimes one simple word of appreciation can change an entire life. Make sure children know that you are proud of them often. Every chance you get, never withhold an encouraging word.
- Stability. A stable home becomes the foundation on which children build the rest of their lives. They need to know their place in the family, who they can trust, and who is going to be there for them. Don’t keep changing those things.
- Opportunity. Kids need opportunities to experience new things so they can find out what they enjoy and what they are good at. They also need opportunities to grow in their interests. This relates to education, activity, food, and friends. And contrary to popular belief, this doesn’t have to require much money.
- Discipline. Children need to learn everything from the ground-up including appropriate behaviors, how to get along with others, how to get results, and how to achieve their dreams. Discipline should not be avoided or withheld. Instead, it should be consistent and positive.
- A good laugh. On average, children laugh 200 times per day while adults laugh only 15 to 18. Laughter is good for a child’s mental and physical health. Encourage joy and laughter. Tell jokes and silly stories. Laugh at their crazy escapades and yourself.
- Your lap. It’s the best place in the entire world for a book, a story, or a good conversation. And it’s been right in front of you this whole time.
- Room to make mistakes. Kids are kids. That’s what makes them so much fun… and so desperately in need of your patience. Give them room to experiment, explore, and make mistakes.
- Hugs and kisses. As many as possible and as often as possible!
Improve a child’s life today and the life you change just might be your own.
What a wonderful post! As a teacher I wish all of my students would grow in the environment you are describing!
Maria
http://www.musicteachingandparenting.com
One of my “jobs” is as a family law attorney. I can say that when parents are going through a divorce they fail at meeting any of the 10 things children need. I am working with a couple of families right now and I am shocked to realize this, although deep down I did, but maybe denial has set in. They say when parents get divorced the world no longer revolves around the child, but now revolves around the parents. Something is messed up with this!
Everything is more difficult when you’re abandoned and devastated.
Ever stop to think that their marriage was a mess to begin with and the children weren’t getting their needs met ANYWAY? I’ve seen all kinds of things. If the marriage stinks, the kids aren’t getting what they “need” because it’s not a loving and happy home. Period. No marriage should just revolve around a child. No home should revolve around a child. A family is a family, every member is important. The “child centered” movement is creating overindulged kids and parents who are their kids’ “friends” instead of parents. Not all marriages are worth working out, and not all kids are better off with married parents and you can bet if the marriage sucked enough for the parents to get out of it, needs weren’t being met in one, or both, of the parents’ lives, and the kids were already suffering from living in an unhappy home. Loveless marriages are bad, whether they are verbally abusive, or non-violent, etc. Choose your spouse with care, nurture your husband or wife and your marriage as a precious thing and your children will never have to suffer a broken home due to divorce.
“whether you have money in your bank account or not, you have something they need”
That is absolutely true, and educationally-speaking, it is backed up by research:
http://www.eric.ed.gov/ERICDocs/data/ericdocs2sql/content_storage_01/0000019b/80/13/6f/9e.pdf
http://www.nap.edu/readingroom/books/reading/
Great post!
Great post!
I absolutely agree with all of your tips. I especially agree with love, and attention. I believe that a sub-point for discipline could be boundaries. Because if children don’t have boundaries they would never learn when is enough. I believe children are constantly pushing to see how far they can go before they’re told no. Without established boundaries they can get into trouble later on in life.
Thanks for such great tips!
Jarrod
I have been a reader here for sometime, and occasionally posted comments here. Your ebook is amazing and I love the site changes and quality posts lately a lot.
I like simplifying my life with kids, which is possible but takes some time on our part. As a parent of 2 small kids, I find your posts so much useful as you write with kids in mind. Thank you.
I am so happy for your success and traffic! well deserved for sure.
Keep up the great work.
loved the points. it so absolutely true!