“The need to impress others causes half the world’s woes.” —Vernon Howard
More often than we would care to admit, the desire to impress others motivates our lives. This desire to impress others impacts the cars we drive, the clothes we wear, the technology we embrace, and the careers we choose.
Unfortunately, it is often elusive. Cars rust. Fashion changes. Technology advances. And the purchases that impressed your neighbor yesterday make no impression today. As a result, we live our lives with out-of-style clothes, jobs that we hate, skyrocketing personal debt, and jealousy towards our neighbor who seems to have it all… until that unquenchable desire to impress begs us to begin the cycle again.
The hard truth is we often look to impress others in all the wrong places.
Take a moment and identify the people in your life that truly impress you. What is it about their life that inspires you? Make a list. Very rarely (if ever) is it the car that they drive or the size of their home. Most often, the people that truly inspire us possess the invisible, intangible qualities that we all desire.
Consider this list of 15 Intangible, Surefire Ways to Impress Others:
1. Be Generous. Regularly give your time, energy, and money to others without expecting anything in return. The giving of your life to another is one of the most impressive things you can ever do.
2. Laugh Often. Be that person that routinely laughs at other’s jokes and stories. It concretely communicates that you enjoy life and their company. They’ll be impressed and you’ll be a more joyful person.
3. Be Optimistic. Always, always, always focus on the good aspects of people and situations. Sometimes you have to look harder than others, but you’ll always be glad you did.
4. Love Your Kids. And by love your kids, I mean genuinely like them too. Enjoy being with them, spending time with them, and investing in their lives. This love towards children will be evident in your life even when they aren’t around.
5. Be Faithful to Your Spouse. Marital fidelity is going out of style too quickly these days. Stay faithful to the one you chose. Trust me, your friends and colleagues will be impressed… not to mention your partner.
6. Develop Your Strengths. I am impressed by good singers, authors, writers, architects, speakers, CEO’s, computer programmers, mothers, and athletes (just to name a few). There is only one thing they all have in common: They discovered their strengths and developed them with great discipline. Do the same with your unique giftedness and temperament. And regardless of the profession you choose, you will impress.
7. Travel. See the world. You will change and be better because of it.
8. Appreciate Different Opinions. While there is nothing wrong with being dogmatic in your beliefs, a healthy appreciation of how others came to theirs is definitely an impressive quality.
9. Love Your Life. Don’t fall into the trap of living life like everyone else. Avoid television and consumerism. Embrace your passions and find enjoyment in your life. The people around you will be impressed… and jealous.
10. Encourage More. Living your life in competition with those around you will never impress. After all, everyone else is already doing that. Change the world by being different. Seek to encourage and lift up others. And the person who benefits the most just may be you.
11. Love Nature. People who exhibit care for the physical world around us exhibit care for all humanity.
12. Listen Intently. Eyes focused. Ears tuned. Cell phone off. In a world that can’t move fast enough, someone who can find time to listen is as rare as a precious jewel… and far more valuable.
13. Be Modest. You are special, unique, and gifted. And the less you make an effort to tell everyone that, the more they will notice.
14. Be Content. A contented life is enjoyable, desirable, and admirable. Those who don’t have it, desire it. And are impressed with those who have.
15. Don’t Live to Impress. Live to Inspire. Give up your desire to impress everyone you meet. But never give up your desire to inspire everyone you meet.
Of course, the greatest thing about this list is that you already possess everything you need to inspire others. So why not get started?
Stop trying to impress others with the things that you own and begin inspiring them by the way you live your life. (tweet that)
A great article J.B. I racked my brains to see if I could think of one more suggestion …..but no…..you’ve managed to sum it up comprehensively in 15 suggestions.
Since becoming a minimalist I’ve found that when you start to focus on improving your own life, in a bid to become a more contented, happy person then you will soon find that your friends and family are truly impressed by the changes you’ve made and unlike a brand new sports cars or latest handbag, they’ll probably keep on impressing way beyond the immediate future.
If you want to enjoy another inspiring blog about how to live a simple, frugal, debt-free, minimalist life then please check out the http://www.thedebtfreeminimalist.com.
My latest blogs include:
Are you a clutterist? Take the 5-a-day challenge (and i’m not talking fruit!)
The duvet which made a difference (a tale of giving)
Is the iPhone such a smart phone?
A tale of opportunity cost (and the effects of compound interest)
I don’t need much!
You hit it out of the park AGAIN Joshua! Excellent!
Awesome post. And while I agree with almost everything, I must say that different opinions cannot always be accepted (when it comes to decency and morals), but they can always be handled graciously.
So true….it’s a fine line!
I agree wholeheartedly with this wonderful list except for one, singular word. For #8, may I suggest using “firm” or “unwavering” concerning our beliefs as opposed to “dogmatic?” Dogmatic has such an arrogant, negative connotation. Someone who is dogmatic in their beliefs is going to have a very difficult time appreciating differing viewpoints. Just my .02
I have adopted many of these over the past year and I am amazed by the results.
I don’t have a spouse or kids, so I simply changed #4 and #5:
4. Love your family
5. Be faithful to your friends.
Josh- are you a Christian? It sure sounds like it:)! I’m really enjoying this fresh perspective that really is part of me being a believer in Jesus and living differently than the world- people definitely do notice, and I also just love to purge! Advice about keepsakes, scrapbooks, that kind of thing?
Thanks!
Dee
I discovered this blog last week and dare I say it has been changing my life! This post is incredible. I agree and connect with everything on the list. My desire is to inspire and to have everyone in my circle develop this way of thinking as well. Thank you for doing this.
Great list! Inspiring post. Thank you! Paula
So moved by this list. Thank you! I’m a new reader and have been so impressed by your insight. As a stay at home mom, the list is especially a wonderful reminder of what is truly important. Blessings.
Fantastic list! Excited to spread the love with others in this post. Thanks.
Yeah realy nice nd i was really very helpfull to improve my communication skills
Thanks for this! I especially like number 9. And I like that you say people will be jealous. It’s true! I sometimes feel almost guilty for being so happy in my life, especially when friends tell me they are jealous of me … but really, they could change their lives the same way if they chose to, but so many people are blinkered into living their lives the way society tells them to!
Nice post. I like no. 15 “Don’t Live to Impress. Live to Inspire. Give up your desire to impress everyone you meet. But never give up your desire to inspire everyone you meet.” Thanks for sharing this Mr. Becker.
@kieran: you said: “There’s nothing wrong with being vengefully ignorant and un-accepting of other views when they conflict with your own?”
there’s nothing wrong? you have to be kidding. it’s a sunday, enjoy and have fun and be blessed forget being vengeful. lets have some peace although we do not agree with one another.
“there is nothing wrong with being dogmatic in your beliefs”
Are you serious?
There’s nothing wrong with being vengefully ignorant and un-accepting of other views when they conflict with your own?
Dogma makes the world a far worse place and gives progress a massive shackle.
So yes, there is something incredibly wrong with being dogmatic with your beliefs.
Love, love, love, LOVE this post! Great list to read, re-read, apply and re-apply liberally, as an instruction notice might say :-)
Thank you for sharing such wonderfully inspired posts.
great list ” ur list reminds me some of swami vivekananda’s teaching,,,these really pays n worth of when practically implemented,,,
Thank you very much,,,
Good stuff.
The life in the Spirit. The beauty of the truth. Words that give refreshing air, motivating light.
Thank you.
Peace and goodness.
Great list and one that gives me things to think about and for that I thank you ;-)
A quote that resonated with me a long time ago (paraphrased) “Buying stuff you don’t need, with money you don’t have to impress people you don’t like”. It’s funny a quote but if I stopped to think about it the irony that I have bought things I didn’t need with money I didn’t have to impress people I didn’t even know. How stupid was that? I spent almost a year paying off a rifle that I was to scared to use in fear of getting it scratched :rolleyes:
Keep up the great work
Killer post! =D
Thank you so much!
Best wishes from Brazil!
Wow, I am glad I found this website! That was one of the most inspiring things I have read in a long time. I have always, without really realising it, tried to use less and buy less as I felt happiest when I went travelling for a year, with a backpack summarising my entire belongings. No insurance, no appointments, no car to wash, no chasing for the latest fashion trend. I have long wondered what it was that made me so happy that year. I am just really glad that someone put it into the right words…thank you for posting this!
Just what I needed. A good reminder of what really is important. Have been pretty hard on myself lately – mostly due to work, income, needing to change job (to an unknown) been in current industry for 30 years. The thought of changing has been very discouraging.
Instead of being down – I need to learn to embrace this change and look forward to discovering the next phase of my life. Thank you.
Sometimes the intangible is the most permanent. How we make people FEEL is what matters, not showing off material luxuries. People may forget about your new car or your big house but they won’t forget how you make them feel. That is how relationships are built, and that is how we all find happiness. Great post!
What an awesome, awesome list and reminder!! Thanks for sharing it and I am definitely sharing it with others!!!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this list and could not agree more! Great post. I think of these things all the time and you have summed up my crazy thoughts into a cohesive, intelligent manner rather than the scrambly, scattered thoughts I have. I am so loving your blog!!! You know what I love the most? You reply to all your comments! I did a whole thing recently on how much I appreciate bloggers who take the time to comment BACK to their readers. I hate it when you never hear a response back EVER from established writers. So I am sooooo coming back and getting lost at your place.
Thanks for some awesome inspiration!
Ammie
Well, I don’t actually respond to every comment. To be honest, I’m probably better known for not responding… but it looks like you stopped by at just the right time.
Well, then I am flattered you responded, period. It’s nice to hear back and yes, it looks like I certainly did stop by at the right time!
Inspiring! I’ll be linking to this post from my site. I’d like to hang this in my children’s rooms–as well as my own!
“Don’t Live to Impress. Live to Inspire.” Well said. And it’s true. Very nice saturday morning read. I see alot of this live to impress you speak of here in Miami. The cultur here is built on the idea of getting the next best thing. So I decided it’d be better to quit my job, sell my stuff, and head North.
Becoming Minimalist has been a great resource showing me how to do it. Thanks!
Joshua,
You stand out to me among all the bloggers writing about simplicity and minimalism. Your articles are so wholesome, not just focusing on what can make your life better – but also those around you.
Btw, #5 is a good one. I know people will disagree, but marriage is an amazing institution. It promotes long term commitment, stability, and real intimacy. I’m getting married this summer to my amazing fiance, Mollie. Guess I’ll be turning to you for a good post about how to nurture a great marriage ; )
I’ve had your list of 100 things on my fridge for a few months now. I think its time to replace it ~ and this is perfect!
I think “replace” is the correct term. I’d hate to add “refrigerator lists” to the list of physical things that can be reduced in your home…
Hi Joshua. I feel that I have to print out your list and hang it on a wall in my kitchen. I just have to have it in sight every day:) Thank you for inspiring me to change my life (and to learn English to be able to read your blog:))
Whoa. Wait a minute. You learned English so that you can read this blog? Positive feedback comment of the century!
I have to say, I’m mighty impressed… Brilliant list Joshua, and I agree, we use external things, such as cars or mobile phones, to impress others, however, other people, does not care so much how expensive is your car, they care about how you behave in front of them.
I’d been more inspired by a man who has no car or house, but love life, than with a man who has a million dollars, but he hates life and himself. ;-)
I always feel better after reading your posts, Joshua, and this one’s no exception. I can’t decide which point is my favorite, but I especially like Nos. 11 and 15.
It’s hard sometimes to get past the need to fit in, especially if it affects your career. The most inspiring people I know also tend to be humbler and work in helping professions. A lot of people in positions of power, on the other hand, have gotten where they are by being aggressive, unkind, etc. Attractive and thinner people are paid more and treated better in general than those who aren’t, according to recent studies. It shouldn’t matter how much you weigh or what kind of clothing you wear, of course, but not everyone is as kind as they are here and elsewhere in the minimalist community.
I wish more people aspired to these goals, but it’s good to know they’re out there (and here).
Brilliant post, as always! Thanks, Josh for the wonderful insights you have shared here. What an inspiration!
AWESOME POST!!! I think this is one of my favorite posts yet… I am sharing with everyone I know! I was just thinking about this same “impress” mentality yesterday as I walked around a trade show for the company I work for… looking at $10,000 tables and $20,000 beds! It saddens me to think that most wealthy people spend their money on luxury “designer” items for short term gratification when they can use that money to help so many others in need. Thanks so much for being a wonderful inspiration to others and lighting the way to minimalism! It goes so much deeper that getting rid of “stuff” which you continue to prove post after post… :)
Thanks Jennifer. Any life that doesn’t take time to examine the heart is a wasted life. That’s how so many of us get caught up in the rat-race in the first place.
I think that this is the perfect time of year to get out into nature (your #11) and appreciate the beauty. I’ve started carrying a bag to pick up litter while hiking with my son. It is how we try to help locally.
Your posts always impress me. Thank you.
Tell me about it! I live in Vermont and there is definitely a reason people come from all over the world to see it this time of year.
Good job, as always. Unquenchable desire is the right phrase.
I don’t get by to comment as often as I did, but I’m always reading. My own blog keeps me busy, I suppose.
Gip
Thanks for reading Gip. I’ve always enjoyed your comments. Good luck with your own blog.
This is exactly what I needed to be reminded of today. Thanks!!
Joshua, thanks for sharing.
Note to self: Inspire others not impress with what we own.
Thanks for the gentle reminder :)
You are welcome. We all need reminders – sometimes gentle, sometimes stronger.
Great list. Having a hard time picking just one though. I liked all of them.
I have long since given up trying to impress others with stuff.
Number 6 is speaking very loudly to me right now – it mixes well with “inspire others”. I didn’t realise I had lost sight of my strengths until I read your post and tried to name them. Once I’ve done that, I might be on my way to lovely Number 14.
Thanks for your words and your list. I do love a good list ;)
I am certainly impressed with successful people. But as I have discovered that I can be impressed with successful people in all arenas of life, I realized that it is their drive and discipline to excel in their strengths that impresses me the most. And that is available to all of us.
Wow, this is awesome. I needed this. This is my wake-up call. And I’m awake. Focused and re-prioritizing! I love it.
I think #7 is really important. Traveling really opens up your eyes… changing you forever.
Different cultures have so much to appreciate and offer.
Fantastic list and lot of areas to work on and improve (for me at least).
Don’t Live to Impress. Live to Inspire. That sums it all up right there. Thanks for the inspiration, Joshua!
Great list! They’re all right on!
You’ve item 15 nailed. Your posts always, always inspire me. Thank you, Joshua.
Not sure I have the “don’t live to impress” part down yet, but thanks for the compliment anyway.
This is a great list! I was trying to pick a favorite but they are all awesome. Thanks.
Just pick one-a-day. You’ll be all done in two weeks. :)
I’m impressed & inspired! Great list of things to do daily.
Cute.
Your thoughts so often brighten my spirit – thanks!
http://minimalistmum.blogspot.com/2010/10/todays-gifts.html
I think that whenever we hear there is more to life than buying and collecting stuff, our spirits are brightened.
Thank you for the wonderful inspiring and enlightening post.
Thanks for taking the time to comment, Paul.