Sixteen years ago, on an otherwise ordinary Saturday morning in Vermont, I was introduced to minimalism. That day, way back in 2008, my wife and I had set aside time for annual spring cleaning. I volunteered to clean the garage, hoping my five-year-old son would enjoy the project with me. His interest lasted about 30 seconds, leaving me alone to tackle the mess.
As I sorted through the dirty piles of stuff in my garage, the time passed and my frustration grew—one thing just seemed to lead to another. My son kept running up to me, asking me to play with him in the backyard, but I kept pushing him off, determined to finish the task.
My neighbor, working on her own yard that day, struck up a conversation with me. When I innocently commented to her about how much time had gone into my garage project, she replied, “That’s why my daughter is a minimalist. She keeps telling me I don’t need to own all this stuff.”
I glanced at the pile of dusty items in my driveway and then at my son, swinging alone in the backyard. And in that moment, I realized something that changed my life: My possessions weren’t making me happy. But even worse, they were stealing my time, energy, and attention away from the very thing that DID bring me happiness—my family.
That conversation sparked a change. Over the next nine months, my wife and I removed 60-70% of our possessions, and to this day, I cannot think of a single negative effect from embracing minimalism. This decision has brought nothing but positive outcomes, enriching our lives in countless ways.
And now, here I am 16 years later, with a moment to reflect as I do every year:
- 15 Years, 15 Lessons: My Journey of Becoming Minimalist
- Ten Ways Minimalism Will Improve Your Life
- 5 Life-Giving Truths From 5 Years of Living with Less
But this particular Memorial Day weekend is especially significant in my home. My youngest daughter graduated high school recently and is preparing to leave for college in the Fall. Our minimalist journey began when my kids were just 5 and 2… and now, 16 years later, they have both graduated high school and are ready to embark on their own adventures.
This beautiful season of life with our children under our roof is about to come to a close. And this has me both emotional and reflective. It is the perfect time to consider how minimalism has shaped their lives and the lessons they have learned along the way because of it.
16 Ways Minimalism Has Positively Impacted My Kids Over the Last 16 Years
1. They’ve learned that they don’t need to buy things to be happy.
For the rest of their lives, advertisers will bombard both Salem and Alexa (and us as well) with the message that happiness can be bought. This is the message of every advertisement we see—that our lives will get better if we buy what they’re selling.
My children have seen, from our example and their own experience, that true happiness doesn’t come from accumulating things. It comes from faith, relationships, selfless impact, and living a life true to one’s values.
2. They’ve learned that you don’t have to live like everyone else.
Society often encourages us to chase bigger houses, nicer cars, and the latest fashions. And I’m sure almost nobody gets through school without feeling the pressure to conform and buy what everyone else is buying.
But my kids have learned that it’s not required to follow all the trends and it’s perfectly okay to live differently. In fact, choosing a path less driven by consumerism has brought them more joy and satisfaction.
3. They’ve learned the value of living within their means.
No matter what their income level might be in the future, my children understand the importance of not overspending to find happiness. Overspending leads to stress and unnecessary burdens. Contentment comes from appreciating what you have, enjoying simple joys, and living within your means.
My children will make their own financial decisions when they get older. But I know they have learned over the last 16 years that living with less is possible and wonderfully enjoyable.
4. They’ve learned the importance of being deliberate in their purchases.
As they’ve pursued new hobbies and interests, my kids have seen us carefully consider each new purchase. They’ve also seen their parents debate and ponder purchasing questions around clothes, and cars, and furniture, and upgrades.
They’ve learned to ask important questions: “What do I truly need? What do I already have that will work? Is this a purchase that is necessary?” This intentionality will serve them well in life.
5. They’ve learned the importance of sharing with others.
Generosity is a natural byproduct of minimalism. My children have witnessed us declutter and donate items, and use our excess resources to help others. They’ve seen us use the book advance from my writing to form and support a nonprofit now providing families for orphaned children in four countries.
No doubt, they understand that their time and money can be powerful tools to solve problems and make a difference in the world.
6. They’ve learned the value of spending time together.
With fewer possessions to clean and organize, we’ve had more time to spend together as a family. My children have learned that the greatest gift we can give to someone else is our time. The memories we’ve made together are priceless and I like to think my children can hold their own at any table playing Pinochle, Rook, Bridge, Euchre, or Spades.
7. They’ve learned they are in control of their stuff, not the other way around.
The more stuff you own, the more your stuff owns you. For 35 years of my life, that was nothing more to me than a saying one might find on a bumper sticker. But now, I fully understand its meaning. And in that regard, my kids are decades ahead of me!
My kids have learned that they don’t have to be burdened by their possessions. They are in control of what they keep and what they let go.
8. They’ve learned they don’t need to follow fads.
In a world artificially obsessed with trends and fads that vary from television to fashion, and retail stores to toys and household appliances, my kids have learned to value timeless quality over exaggerated hype. They are confident in their choices and, I believe, will be less influenced by the ever-changing whims of society and viral marketing.
9. They’ve learned they have something to offer the world other than being a consumer.
Every single day is full of opportunities to make a positive difference in the lives of others. These opportunities are much greater than making a lot of money and buying a lot of things. In fact, many times, those pursuits become the very thing that keep us from making our biggest positive difference in the world.
My kids know that their worth isn’t defined by what they buy or own. They have unique talents and abilities that can contribute to the world in meaningful ways.
10. They’ve learned there are other ways to impress people than with flashy purchases.
My children have seen that character, kindness, and integrity impress more than any material possession ever could. Buying a really fancy car might impress a percentage of the population… but a generous lifestyle impresses everyone.
11. They’ve learned the joy of living for things greater than this world.
For both Kim and myself, our Christian faith has played a significant role in our lives and in how we seek to live out minimalism in the world. My kids understand that more than most—as would be expected.
There are eternal pursuits and there are temporal pursuits. Given the choice, the eternal is always better. And always worth the sacrifice.
On a related note, I have been publishing weekly, faith-based Christian devotionals (Focus on Faith) for the last 16 months. You can find those here or subscribe to receive them via email.
12. They’ve learned the beauty of simplicity.
By living with less, my kids have discovered the beauty of a simple life. There is calm to be found in a focused life. But even more, there is such opportunity for passion, meaning, and fulfillment to be found in the clarity that comes from not being overwhelmed by stuff.
13. They’ve learned to be resourceful.
Dave Bruno, in his book The 100 Thing Challenge, was the first person I ever heard connect the dots between minimalism and creativity. There is more than one way to solve a problem and I trust my kids have seen that lived out numerous times over the years.
14. They’ve learned to prioritize experiences over things.
Our family has chosen to spend money on experiences rather than things. The research on this is very clear: Compared to physical possessions, spending money on experiences results in more happiness before, during, and after.
And now that they will begin the next steps of creating their own lives and families, I am so, so grateful that they will carry with them many wonderful memories. And hopefully be motivated to create their own memories with their own kids some day.
15. They’ve learned to not see the world through the lens of competition.
As I have written previously, I’m competitive by nature. Without minimalism on my radar, competition came easy to me and made perfect sense. Work hard and make more to buy more and have more.
Minimalism hasn’t changed my nature entirely. But it has caused me to reevaluate the role of competition and greater appreciate the benefits of cooperation and encouragement. Even more, it has paved the way for more selfless living—working hard to lift others up rather than tear them down.
I hope my children have learned the importance of cheering for others, lifting others up, giving back to the community, and that true fulfillment comes from serving others.
16. They’ve learned to live intentionally.
Above all, my children have learned to live intentionally. They have learned the importance of (and how) to make choices based on their values and priorities, not on societal expectations. No doubt, this lesson will guide them throughout their lives, helping them to live with purpose and meaning, wherever they end up and whatever they end up doing.
Looking back over these past 16 years, I am immensely grateful for the journey minimalism has led us on.
Not only has it changed my life in countless ways, it has positively shaped my children’s lives in ways I could never have imagined. As they prepare to leave home, I am confident that the lessons they’ve learned from our 16 years of minimalism will continue to shape their values and inspire them to live the best lives they can possibly live.
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To my readers, thank you for being a part of this journey. Your support and encouragement have meant the world to me over the last 16 years. Here’s to a new season in our family’s life—and hopefully many more years of living intentionally and inspiring others to own less and live more.
Great read 😃 My kids speak about my minimalist journey all the time, and it deffently have rubbed off on them. My oldest son want almost to little in his room. Nothing on his walls. Only a table with his stuff in small drawers in the table. His two screen and computers. Bed, chair and desk. That is it! His grandma ask him all the time to hang up something, but he refuse. Both my kids have sold most of their toys by now. Only kept cars and playmo and small legos for their kids if they have any. He also says he does not need and pictures bc he did it, saw it already and experienced it. I struggle with the last one since I made so many albums for them over the years. But I have one sentimental kid so I guess/hope he take care of the picture memories when I am gone to show the future generations. I just love our tidy house and boxes are downsized every month. We donate, give away and try to sell. Books go out as soon as read. ❤️
I was impacted by hurricane Helene, I lost everything. I was stressing over my losses. Reading this article has helped me cope.
So well said and so helpful! Thank you!!
We are still on the minimalist journey. Right now the main question we’re praying over is simplicity in schedule. We’re a pastor’s family with three teens. Lately life feels more like we’re Uber drivers and calendar ninjas than anything else! All of the families we know are even more weighed down than we are. Any insight or encouragement would be so appreciated- Thank you!
As our kids got older, we asked them to start managing their extra curricular activities themselves. Bc we only had one car, that meant they had to coordinate w each other & then either figure out how to get where they needed to be via bike, public transit or ask for rides from their friend’s families. They were diligent about paying back friends who drove them often with baked goods they made themselves (in our ethnic tradition — baklava kourabiedes etc).
They developed management skills, independence, social skills & an appreciation for good public transit! They have strong friendships from those days as well now 20 years later.
Brilliant! ♥️♥️
For many years I have read your blog and enjoy it very much. You are articulate, clear, concise. There is a nice variety and I also like the weekly links you provide. I appreciate you faith lense and the way you just provide information and your personal experience as an invitation and not pressure.
Thank you for these kind words Lisa.
Hoarding is selfish! To hold on to things you’ll never use and don’t even know what you have, when someone else would be so happy and blessed with your “precious” possessions. DONATE your crap!!! Your kids don’t want it and when you die they will rent an enormous dumpster and throw it all out in an afternoon … the crap you held on to so tightly to for years!
Yep. And when you don’t have kids, strangers will dump it with even more abandon.
I would love to hear from your kids about growing up in a minimalist home and how they feel about it. Maybe that is what this article is but I would love their direct perspective!
Regarding the idea that your stuff owns you, my family witnessed that being played out this year.
My parents are extremely elderly and in rapidly failing health. They lived in a 1500 sq ft home, full to the brim with furniture that they believed was needed because otherwise there would be gaps that just wouldn’t look right. So they had four tables suitable for dining, more than 25 chairs, full cabinets and furniture with built in storage that was full of stored items because, after all, they had the room.
Add to this an oxygen machine, two walkers, canes, and other things bought to help them with their older lives, and you get situations where they fall and hit furniture, giving them more injuries. Or where the EMTs have to push recliners and coffee tables out of the way in order to get a stretcher inside the front door. But also, where the house is too big so one of them can’t hear the other calling for help, and getting to that person requires more agility than they possess.
So, we started suggesting that they consider moving to assisted living, where the home would be designed with assistive devices like grab bars and safe showers and where there’s nursing staff to keep an eye on them. All the usual objections were made, but the biggest one was that my mother was unwilling to give up all her stuff. They had decluttered a bunch over the years, but she still had boxes and boxes of stored items for things she would get to some day, and more decorative items than could be used in a home twice the size. And she could not part with that stuff, just wasn’t going to happen. Or rather, they would definitely consider parting with it, but only if it could be sold “for what it’s worth,” an amount that would be at least as high as the price they paid for it, years ago. But she wasn’t up to considering any of that, so until then, it couldn’t go anywhere.
And then this past winter, it became obvious they couldn’t live independently anymore. Dad spent weeks in the hospital, and there was no one well enough to help him at home, so he couldn’t be released there and had to spend months in a rehab hospital. Mom didn’t do well while he was gone, she kept insisting that he had to come home to take care of her, while neither one was in any condition to care for themselves, let alone another person.
So their doctors and we family again told them they needed assisted living. Only it was no longer an option. If they didn’t do that, they needed to figure out how to afford and hire health aides to come to them to give them the care they need. Which would also require upgrades to the house and a lot more expense.
So they gave in to the inevitable and moved to assisted living, all the while squawking about their stuff. Their kids must personally sell what they aren’t taking with them, and must get a huge amount of money for it, much more than it’s worth. Except that they were taking a lot with them. Way too much, actually. And there wasn’t time to spend trying to sell the rest for top dollar. They needed the proceeds from the house to finance their new life. An estate sale company came in and sold all the stuff in a week, for far less than Mom and Dad thought they would get.
Mom is bitter about the whole thing, blames everyone else for forcing them to move. The family is fracturing over this, because of course they pushed one child completely out of their lives, another came and instead of helping, helped themselves to stuff, and a third was taken advantage of, putting most of the work of the move and its planning and aftermath onto her.
Moral of the story: pare down before you’re too old and infirm to do it yourself, because too much stuff adversely affects your last years. Also don’t be so attached to your stuff that it becomes more important than your or your partner’s health.
All God’s best you you Mouseketeer & your whole family. So sorry about the stressful pain you’ve endured through this transition.
~Lynel
Sounds absolutely awful! What a nightmare. And over STUFF 🤦🏼♀️
Thank you for everything you have shared with your audience. We greatly appreciate your words of wisdom.
Joshua and Kim….we have witnessed your journey from the early days until now, and have admired your dedication to the path God called you to take. We celebrate this milestone with you, and the values you have passed on to your children! Love sent from Michigan.💕. Lynn &
Bob
Well Lynn! How fun to hear from you! Thank you for these kind words. In Michigan, nowadays huh?
Love your beautiful family ! So awesome what you have taught your children ! I am so inspired !
That’s awesome, Joshua! You have a beautiful family. I can attest to the fact that minimalism rubs off on those around us. My granddaughter age 6 will often hand me a toy and tell me I can donate it. Personally, I can feel clutter starting to build up a bit—- so I plan to do some ruthless decluttering! I really don’t want the junk. And that is what it seems to me… junk! Thanks, Joshua! You inspire me to conquer—- when I struggle with an item, I think of your words of wisdom and donate it. And I never regretted or looked back.
Thank you, Joshua for all your articles! They are so inspirational and help us all remember what is really important in life! You have a beautiful family!
Another great article Joshua! I’ve followed you for years and I’m always inspired by what you share and teach.. what great lessons your children have learned to take them on their own journey as adults. I keep inspiring to life more intentional, I really have come to understand “stuff” does not make us happy- the older I get the less I want! Family, friends, faith and experiences are where true joy comes from!
Hey, man, you have a good looking family. Hope you’re all doing well!
We are well. Thanks Bob. Thanks again for speaking at my Omaha event a few years back.