“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” —Angela Schwindt
Children add joy, purpose, and fulfillment to our lives. They bring us smiles, optimism, and cheerful attitudes. And given the chance, they will teach us valuable life lessons.
Certainly, growing children (physically, socially, intellectually, and emotionally) have added a new dimension to our minimalist journey, but I would’t want it any other way. In fact, some of the most important lessons about life and minimalism have been learned by watching my children.
Consider these:
1. One neighborhood friend is worth more than a basement full of toys. My two kids can spend countless hours with their neighborhood friends running from yard to yard, playing tag, catching bugs, or swinging on swings. They can spend every afternoon and evening together without being bored. But take them away from their friends for one Saturday at home with their toys… and boredom almost immediately sets in. The joy of playing alone in a roomful of toys quickly fades.
LIFE LESSON: Relationships with others are always more exciting and fulfilling than possessions.
2. Clothes are not worn to impress others. My First Grade son has two requirements for his clothing: 1) that he can get them dirty and 2) that he won’t get too hot. He has never worn a shirt to impress a girl or a pair of slacks to impress his teacher. (He has worn a shirt and slacks because his parents asked him to, but that’s a different subject). I don’t think the idea of trying to impress others by wearing the latest fashions has ever crossed his mind. He feels no pressure to conform or impress. And thus, he’s simply content with a clean tanktop and shorts.
LIFE LESSON: Wear clothing for its usefulness rather than as an attempt to impress others.
3. Life’s pains are healed best by a hug and a kiss… not new toys. My daughter falls down often (as most four year olds do). And when she skins her knee, she only wants one thing – her mommy to pick her up, give her a kiss, and tell her that everything is going to be okay. She doesn’t ask for a new toy… she only desires love and security. She has found the antidote to pain and wouldn’t trade it for anything else.
LIFE LESSON: Don’t look towards “things” to soothe the pain we encounter in life. Instead, seek love, acceptance, and security.
4. Fancy possessions and character are completely unrelated. I love helping in my son’s First Grade classroom because Kindergarten and First Grade may be the only places left on earth where labels don’t exist. At age 7, everyone is accepted and everyone plays with everyone else. Each person starts the day on equal footing. Nobody is pre-judged by the house that they live in or the clothes that they wear. Oh, that our world would begin to resemble a first-grade classroom.
LIFE LESSON: Judge people by their hearts and character, not by the meaningless externals of life.
5. Too many toys in a box only get in the way of the good ones. A funny thing happens after holidays. A mountain of new toys enter my childrens’ lives. The toys are initially meant with incredible excitement. However, after two or three days, they are pushed to the side as my kids return to the tried-and-true toys they had been playing with long before the holiday ever occurred. The new toys we thought would make them happier, don’t. Instead, they just start to get in the way.
LIFE LESSON: We often think that material possessions will bring lasting excitement into our life, but most of the time they just end up getting in the way.
6. The more toys you play with, the more time you spend cleaning them up. Because we clean up every night before bed (well, almost every night), our kids understand this pretty simple equation. The more toys we pull out of the closet, the more time we spend cleaning them up. And conversely, the less time we spend actually enjoying them.
LIFE LESSON: The more possessions we own, the more of our time is required to care for them, clean them, organize and sort them.
7. A hike in the woods beats a new video game any day. Video games simply can not compete with the graphics, the full-sensory experience, or the relationship of a family walk through the woods. Never have, never will. And for that matter, nothing else produced on television can compete either.
LIFE LESSON: Turn off the television. Go outside. Live life, don’t just watch it.
Perhaps children are in this world because we as grown-ups have so much left to relearn.
Lisa @ Four Under Six says
Yes! 1,000 times yes. Especially items 1 and 7. We live in a nice suburban neighborhood with zero kids outside playing despite the fact that probably 80% of the homes have kids. We have four kids under seven. I would love nothing more for them to be able to knock on a door and go play with some neighbors. But that doesn’t happen around here. It is a constant source of frustration for me. I hope our next neighborhood is better. GREAT post!
The Roamer says
I really am enjoying your writing. Kids really do see the world in a much purer way. Sadly where I am from even in first grade that is easily being corrupted. Thus post is 4 years old it appears. I wonder if you have seen the changes. Things change so quickly now.
I am working towards minimalism and hope my children internalize it’d value.
Skimy says
Nice points.
Check out another interesting article with some good points:
http://skimon.com/15-inspiring-lessons-every-kid-can-teach-us
Alexandra Stoltz says
I really loved that. You are such a talented writer and you speak so eloquently. I came here to share my post and relate. However, I feel mine pales in comparison to yours. I went ahead and followed you on twitter so I can read your insight more regularly.
here is my not nearly as beautiful post.
http://makeitafamily.com/lessons-from-my-kids/
aly c. says
I may be late to this party, but I have to share this. Excellent and to the point, Joshua!
Jodie says
I just started following you and have loved every post. This one really hit the nail on the head but as a mother of a 5 year old who is the only grandchild on both sides, how do I reign in the gifts from family members without seeming unappreciative?
Peggy says
My Grandmother use to send me checks for Bdays, and my parents set up a savings account. I always saved them. I saw how I accumulated interrest, and that savings came in handy when I went to college. I really did appreciate that gift more than others. I learned to save.
Linda Ede says
After 3 months or less you could go through the toys with your children and donate to a childrens charity the toys which are not the ‘favourites’. It would also teach the children about giving to those less well off.
Ali Davies says
Great points. One I would add is that kids are one of the best sources of lessons on work life balance and orientating life around what is most imporatnt based on core values!!!
http://www.23hq.com/wilmerrpnw/story/11812723 says
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Finn says
Nice post, but I also really disagree with point 7. I know you only mention TV and video games, but you could easily extend that to books – basically the same principle. As a kid (and to this day), few things made me happier than whiling away hours reading books. They sharpen your imagination, they introduce you to new worlds and ideas you’d never even imagined and they generally enrich your mind in a way that, I would assume, a minimalist should applaud. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very fond of going out into the woods as well, but life would have been a much poorer experience so far if I had had to do it without the inspiration and richness of the books I devoured as a kid. A matter of personal opinion.
RG says
Great post! Do any first grade boys care about their clothes to impress others though? Unfortunately, it really changes around middle school. :(
Jesse – please don’t reproduce.