This is a guest post from Cait Flanders.
“In the context of sufficiency, appreciation becomes a powerful, intentional practice of creating new value through our deliberate attention to the value of what we already have.” –Lynne Twist
I’ve spent the last four years writing about money and the role it has played in my life. I’ve written about how I got into debt, the day I realized I was maxed out, and how I dug myself out of the mess. It took two years of living on a tight budget, but I made my final debt repayment in May 2013 and I haven’t owed anyone a penny since.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean I had my spending under control. For the first year that followed, I spent money buying and doing all the things I couldn’t buy or do while paying down debt. I’d put myself on such a tight budget for those two years that I was convinced I’d been “living without” something during that time—so I spent a year searching for it.
I wasn’t living an extravagant lifestyle, per se. I was simply consuming more than I needed. There were stacks of books on my shelves I’d never read, outfits in my closet I’d only worn once, bottles of unused nail polish, and what looked to be a 5-year supply of pens and paper.
Shortly after my first anniversary of being debt-free, I looked at the small balance in my savings account and wondered what I’d been doing wrong. I was budgeting and blogging about money, why didn’t I have more to show for it? When I looked around my apartment, I realized it was a result of lifestyle inflation… and I wasn’t happy with the state of mine.
The stacks of books on my shelves were a constant reminder I had no time to read. The long forgotten clothes in my closet made me feel guilty for not getting a good enough cost-per-wear out of them. I even hated most of the nail polish colors, but felt like they were what grown-up Cait should wear.
I’d wasted hundreds, even thousands of dollars on stuff… and I didn’t even like most of it.
In a wave of inspiration, I started opening every closet, cupboard, and drawer in my apartment on a mission to get rid of anything I didn’t use or truly cherish. I filled bag after bag, and box after box, until almost every inch of my dining room floor was covered. After dragging it all downstairs, I filled my car with stuff, and still had to make two additional trips to the donation centre.
In the end, I removed 60% of the belongings from my home. And then, I put myself on a yearlong shopping ban so I wouldn’t bring in anything new.
I am only eight months into the shopping ban, but I can already tell you I will never go back to the type of consumer I was before—and that’s before considering all the extra money I’ve been able to save, which is just an added bonus.
I will never go back to being the type of consumer I was before, because living with fewer possessions has finally allowed me to see how full and rich my life already was—and still is today.
I wake up each morning and fill my French press with delicious coffee in the quiet moments before a new day begins. I have a job that lets me work from home at a desk with the most incredible view of the mountains. I get paid to write, which I still pinch myself over. I live minutes from the ocean with the smell of salt in the air. And I have the most loving and supportive family and friends a person could ask for, and most everyone is in good health.
How could I have ever thought I was “living without” anything?
I am still new to this minimalist scene and my shopping ban, so I am continually discovering new and wonderful things about how it’s changing my life. However, as someone who’s been writing about money for four years, there’s one thing I can tell you with certainty.
When you focus on what’s lacking in your life, you’ll do or buy anything to fill that void.
This might include:
- Buying yourself something after you’ve had a bad day.
- Upgrading to the newest piece of technology just because it’s popular.
- Buying a new car or home because you think it proves you’ve reached a certain level of success.
- Filling your home with beautiful things to impress your guests even though you can’t afford any of it.
But when you choose to appreciate what is good in your life, you will use money in ways that help sustain it.
You begin:
- Feeling better about paying your rent/mortgage, knowing it’s putting a roof over your head.
- Being more grateful for the heat/hot water/electricity you used, when the bill comes.
- Doing whatever it takes to make sure you can afford your hobbies and passions.
- Saving for your hopes and dreams, both big and small.
Everything in the first list are assets that will immediately depreciate—and not just in dollar value, but also in the value you’ve placed on them. The newest piece of technology gets old the minute something newer comes out. As soon as that happens, you’re back to feeling like you’re “living without” something, versus appreciating it for what it is—a tool that helps you communicate with family and friends.
Everything on the second list, however, will appreciate in value—maybe not in dollar value, but in your continued appreciation for it. When you appreciate that you live in a comfortable home with hot showers, you start to soak up every minute under the water. And when you find the true joy that comes from pursuing hobbies and passions, you’ll wish you’d never wasted a dollar on the “stuff” you thought could bring you that same feeling.
When you spend money on things you appreciate, it will always pay dividends in the form of gratitude.
As a former debt blogger, I wish I’d learned that lesson sooner. However, as part of my journey to become minimalist, I’ve come to realize how valuable my experiences really were. I wouldn’t appreciate my life today, in the same light, if I hadn’t made mistakes and learned from them.
If writing about it helps inspire even one person to shift their focus and find new ways to appreciate what they already have, then the experiences will continue to pay dividends—and for that, I am grateful.
***
Cait is a full-time writer and editor in Vancouver, BC, Canada. She writes about simplifying finances and living a more intentional life on her blog.
Monika Srivastava says
Am so glad to read such a honest piece am sure it must be difficult to start with disposing the material things we so closely cling on to.
But sure you must be feeling incredibly light !
Cait Flanders says
You have no idea, Monika – I feel like a whole new person! Wish I could transfer this feeling to everyone. :)
Chris says
There are two problems which I have to cope with when it comes to possessions. Firstly, on one hand, we should not grow attached to our stuff, on the other hand, we should appreciate the items we need. In spite of appearances, it is not so easy. Secondly, I still don’t know exactly how to handle the annoying feeling that I should constatly be aware of what I need or what i should get rid of. Sometimes I would like to get rid of everything, just purge everything from my room and afterwards be forced to buy what I really nead. When I had to count every euro, I would think twice what I really need. Unfortunately, such an experiment would be risky and costly ;-)
Great article Cait!
Cait Flanders says
For your second problem, I still have that feeling sometimes, Chris. I see books I still haven’t read and think I should toss them. But the stack is so much smaller now and I *do* know I’ll get to them, as I continue to read through my library (versus buy more).
This is where I think it’s really important to emphasize that minimalism isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. We don’t all need to live with just 100 things. If you use all your things often (even just once/month), then they are worth keeping. If, however, you had a bunch of storage you never looked at… probably don’t need to keep any of that! I don’t think you’re like that. Just saying.
Don’t throw everything away. :) ;)
Joy @ Jumbled Up Joy says
I can relate so much to this — never really been in debt (by the grace of God, because I could have been if circumstances were different), but just buying, well, stupidly. Wastefully. Not making my money work for me. Looking around after the fact and thinking, why do I have this?! I think it’s so interesting, too, reading through the comments of people who misused thrift shopping — because, Yep! I’ve been there too! Thanks so much for writing this, Cait, with such transparency and honesty. I look forward to reading where this is all going now!
Cait Flanders says
I haven’t gotten into thrift shopping, but I can see how quickly it could turn from looking for 1 good deal to just buying anything that’s a good price. I recently read a great motto that was something along the lines of: if I didn’t need it yesterday, I don’t need to buy it today. Something to think about. :)
Mrs. Frugalwoods says
SO beautifully said, Cait. I’ve been thinking very much along these lines this year, especially with regard to how I spend my time. Am I allocating my energies towards what fulfills me and has a broader purpose, or am I wasting time on short-term, meaningless filler (TV, facebook… etc).
I don’t think that time and money precisely equal one another, but I do see many parallels between the two. As soon as Mr. Frugalwoods and I focused our spending/savings entirely towards our long-term goals, our time followed suit. We’re spending less and living more now, which is a wonderful feeling.
I’m always so impressed by how much stuff you gave away and freed yourself of! Inspiring.
Cait Flanders says
Nope, I agree that money and time don’t equal one another, but I do think time is our greatest resource – and there’s no doubt minimalism has given me more of it. Thanks for your comment, friend! :)
Sam @ Frugaling.org says
Cait,
Awesome to see you on Becoming Minimalist! Well done and terrific article. Keep up the great work with the personal finance and minimalism.
As someone that shares in this confluence of topics, I wonder if some of earlier debt experiences change our perception of money. Makes me think that people who recover from lots of debt are eager never to repeat the same mistakes again. One way to prevent future issues is minimalism! :)
Have a great rest of your week,
Sam
Cait Flanders says
Thanks, Sam! And thanks for sharing the post on social media. So nice to see friends from the PF space here :)
SueMak says
Love the comment about having nailpolish the “grown-up” me would wear – add to that the “must-have” blazer, the decorative scarves and the heels that look great but absolutely kill my feet (all sitting there unworn) and you’ve described my wardrobe!
Cait Flanders says
It’s so true, SueMak! I bought books for the same reason, too. It all seemed like stuff that professional/successful Cait should own/do/read. As it turns out, real Cait is fine without most of it. :)
Jacqueline says
i am another one who paid off all my debts then went crazy, but thank you for reminding me to get back on track, there are a few things i really need then i am saving for a holiday, but not spending mindlessly is so hard, i just am thank ful not to be in debt that i have lost track of how much i am spending, its scary i think really i am still not in control of my money, and i am scared i will just end up back to square one, freedom is good but i need to reign it in again, thank you for reminding me, love Jacqueline xxx
Adam @ AdamChudy.com says
When we bought a house it was bigger than any apartment we had been in. It’s amazing how your stuff will expand to fill your space.
Cait Flanders says
That’s true! I’ve found the opposite, since getting rid of so much of my stuff. I only utilize maybe 25% of my closet space, and have cupboards in my kitchen with nothing in them. I don’t think I’ll be moving again anytime soon, though, but I wonder how much smaller of a home I might buy one day (currently rent) compared to what I might’ve wanted years ago. Until then, I’ll just enjoy the space I have… empty as it might look, sometimes. :)
Carmel says
I have been trying to shop and live more intentionally over the last couple of years. Before that though, just like you said you felt, I felt that I was missing out sometimes on the things that other people “seemed” to be able to afford to buy! However the older I get, and the more stuff I clear out, the more appreciative I am of the fact that even though I can’t or don’t buy the “extras”, my bills are paid at the end of each month. And I have more time to enjoy the things that cost nothing. Now – that feels like a priviledge!
Cait Flanders says
The extra time thing still blows my mind sometimes, Carmel. I’ll walk around my place, thinking I should be cleaning or doing something… then realize it’s all done! So then I do something else – whatever I feel like. It’s pretty amazing. :)
Carrie Smith says
I’ve followed your journey on Blonde on a Budget for quite a while and I’m constantly inspired by your determination to live a minimal but satisfying life. Because of your openness and honesty, I’ve been able to clear out loads of my own possessions and am learning to be content with what I have.
I also have a ton of respect for you and your yearlong shopping ban. I’m not sure it’s something I could do. It’s quite a feat! I’ll be cheering you on in 2015!
Cait Flanders says
This comment made my whole morning. Thank you, friend! <3