Note: This is a guest post by Michelle Summerfield.
I’m no stranger to rushing around, operating on overload, and essentially being a chicken with no head.
In my previous corporate life, I lived life at light speed and in complete chaos for sixteen years. I felt I never had time for the good things I knew I “should” be doing. But running at light speed and neglecting self-care eventually catches up with you.
You burn out.
That’s when your mind and body scream, “Hey, human, please get me off this darn merry-go-round. Now!”
One of the most important things I ever did was to listen to my body and create a calming evening routine. It has made such a difference.
Now, I turn my phone off at least an hour before bed to let my mind unwind. I do a peaceful P.M. yoga routine followed by a 5 or 10 minute meditation session which relaxes my body, relieves the stress of the day, and puts my mind into a peaceful place.
I use the quiet time right after to wash my face and practice gratitude before going to bed.
If my mind is still a bit over-stimulated, I’ll read a chapter of a book, which usually has me nodding off.
Now, I get it, not everyone has a lot of time in the evenings, but that doesn’t mean you can’t create your own simple routine by starting small. By making just one change to your evening routine, you’ll be on your way to bringing calm, peace and stress relief into your life.
My routine starts an hour before bed, but only takes 20-30 minutes total. Finding just 5-10 minutes to do one calming activity will get you started.
If you’re looking for stress relief from your busy day, I highly recommend creating a calming evening routine that works for you.
Here are 7 ideas to try out:
1. Turn off your phone and be still for 5 minutes. During that quiet time, tell yourself you deserve peace and calm. You deserve to take care of yourself. Always putting everyone else first isn’t fair to you or to them. I turn my phone off at least an hour before bed to calm my mind (and eyes) from all the technology I’ve been using throughout the day.
2. No TV or news before bed. I don’t watch the news at all anymore. As a sensitive person, I know how negatively it can affect me, so I keep it out of my life. Think of it — that time sitting in front of the TV could be used doing something to better your mind, body, and well-being instead. I know, we all love Netflix. The key is to be mindful of your TV use and know when it’s not giving you the peace and calm you need.
3. Read a chapter of a book. This is one of my favourites! I recently got rid of my TV so I could have a reading nook in my room instead. No matter what book I’ve read, it’s never been a waste of time. In fact, most have changed my life for the better. It doesn’t matter what type of book, although I do recommend something that won’t get you thinking too much. The idea is to calm down. I’ve got two types of books I read in the evenings: spiritual self-help or a trashy romance novel.
4. Yoga. I added yoga to my evening routine about six months ago and it is so relaxing! It focuses my mind and my awareness on my body. If you’re new to yoga, it’s not super difficult. If you’re worried about flexibility, start off with a beginner practice. I use the free Yoga Studio app on my Apple TV. I started with the beginner practice until I felt comfortable to move to intermediate.
Yoga is a great way to not only add some relaxation to your day, but also exercise! And if you’ve been sitting at a desk job all day, the flexibility practices work wonders.
5. Meditate. I don’t meditate regularly. In fact, I find it extremely hard to sit still for more than 5 minutes. My cat distracts me by sniffing my hand or the movement of family around the house keeps me aware of every noise. When I do manage it, it’s calming and grounding. The constant stream of thoughts in my head slows down and I feel peaceful after.
You don’t have to do anything special or buy an app — simply focusing on your breathing and saying “breathe in” “breathe out” as you breathe is good enough. When I do my P.M. yoga, I’ll follow it up with a 5 minute relaxing meditation.
6. Practice gratitude. This is one of my favourite parts of my evening routine. Every evening, I take a few moments to think about what I’m grateful for and who I’m grateful for in my life.
This practice has the power to change your mindset and your life! It calms me and helps me appreciate everything I have. It works so well that I use it to combat my desire to buy new things. Whenever I have the urge to go back to old habits and buy something, I practice gratitude. It reminds me of all I have — the people, the roof over my head, the healthy food — everything. And the urge to shop falls away.
7. Journal. Did you do a Dear Diary when you were a kid? Well, there’s no reason not to try the adult version. Simply getting your thoughts on paper or reflecting on your day has amazing calming and healing powers. I reflect on my day by asking three questions: What went well? What can I improve? What was I grateful for?
Creating a calming evening routine was the best thing I’ve done. Now I wake up feeling refreshed, and fall asleep faster without a million thoughts rushing through my head.
Another calm we can create, is to take 5 minutes and watch the sun set. I did that today and watching that warm colorful rays of sunset, was so calming. We have such busy lives, rushing and we forget moments like these.
Every evening 🌅
Mental health is really important nowadays! People don’t take enough time in the day to just relax and de-stress.
Hello Sir,
Thank you for your meaningful thouhgt & inputs.
May l know how normally you creat your evening joirnal? do you do it electronically or traditionally in a diary?
Thank you
Aziz KL
This is so great! Simply being still can make such a big impact. Last night I did yoga before bed with my daughters, read out loud, and yet they were still squirmy! I challenged them to stop sitting up in bed, talking, moving around, and to lay still in the position they’d want to fall asleep in, close their eyes, and count to 100 (100 sheep is what they ended up doing). And sure enough, they all fell asleep before it was over. Sometimes we do so much prep for sleeping yet our bodies simply need us to stop and be still – and sleep may come faster than we expected. Thanks for the great tips!
I love the idea of morning and evening routines because they can become part of creating a lifestyle based on a more joined up understanding of life than the current hectic, consumerist work slavery that benefits the greed of the few.
Yoga and meditation is so powerful for a restful evening. I’ve been doing yoga twice a week for a while now. I’ve found the 8pm yoga class+meditation is exactly what I need for a calmer evening.
I absolutely agree! I actually have added every single one of these practices to my evening routine. They have made a huge difference! Getting rid of the screen time has been amazing for calming me before bed. I can’t watch the news anymore myself either because it upsets me too much.
Thanks for the tips!
I have a gratitude journal but I love the idea of writing in a diary. Haven’t written in once since I was a kid!
I also need to turn my phone off. I’m on it way too much, especially before bed time.
I guess I am the opposite here. After a long day… it’s too easy for me to shut down when I get home. I have to push myself to be somewhat productive. And to each their own— I love watching news! :) :) :)
Dear Mr. Becker …
I want to comment on the 7 pieces of advice on this site.
1- I agree with you … the older i have gotten the more i realize i need to take care of ME and concentrate on me more …. so I have literally changed my evening routine.
2- I hate the news as well!!! I actually stopped watching the news many years ago along with daily and nightly soaps. However, I still have a TV in my bedroom taking up space just in case for those sick days.
3- I love reading, so i have a book shelf in my bedroom full of books that i keep close to read and to use as a go to.
4&5- I have not started yoga yet, but i do meditate in the evenings, while laying bed, and before i go to sleep i put on some calming/meditation music to help turn my mind off.
6- I am so thankful for many things in my life and i am loving the simplicity of my life that i am learning from you. But i do need to start practicing it more often.
7- I used to journal in my younger years and just recently have thought about doing so again. i read somewhere that its good to keep pen and paper next to your bed so you can write things down and not let them keep you awake.
My life is changing after coming across your FB page. I have taken a lot of your inspirational advice to live by. and I want to personally thank you. So, thank you very much Mr. Becker
Kat
I’m a fan of evening routines. All too often we default to running through lists in our head, scrolling on social media or netflix bingeing into oblivion. One of my practices lately has been releasing anxieties one by one and giving thanks.
I do yoga every morning, but I am going to try it before bed too! Also going to try and turn my phone off earlier. Thank you!
These are brilliant tips! One thing I also like to do is put on dimmer and warmer lights in the hour or so before I go to sleep, I find it really helps me get into that relaxed mindset. x
I love this. I think of my evenings as “sleep curation”. I don’t function well if I don’t rest enough, so it’s really important for me to make the time to do so. Changing habits has given me some great sleep. I do want to implement more nightly yoga, even if it’s brief. I love chamomile tea and a book.
I am currently working out of town for a month, and I’m away from my own bedroom. These routines you can create become even more important when you’re away from familiar surroundings. Thank you for sharing.
These are all great ideas and I incorporate most of them myself.
Avoiding caffeine from the afternoon onward helps too. Try sipping a caffeine free tea like chamomile or valerian a hour or so before bed, (if you are not allergic or otherwise have a medical reason not to.) I find it helps calm me physically and mentally especially if I take the time to focus on the tea as I am drinking it, sort of like a meditation.
Sometimes I listen to a sleep story through the Calm app, especially the Shipping Forecast. One listen and you will see why so many Brits fall asleep to it! (No, I don’t work for Calm, just love their app.)
These are great tips, and I am happy to see I am already living by a few of them! No tv in the bedroom, reading (a trashy romance novel too!), and I am currently trying to practice more gratitude. In fact I just published a new 30 day gratitude challenge to get a habit going!
I’ve been reading a lot before bed although it’s been book on tape/app. I make the screen go dark and lay there with it playing and my eyes shut. Many of the readers have such soothing voices it’s really nice. Sometimes in the mornings I have to rewind to catch up with what I feel asleep during haha.