Note: This is a guest post from Rachel Jones of Nourishing Minimalism.
Whenever we decide to embrace a major change in life, we are forced to evaluate our thoughts and beliefs. Major changes—whether chosen or unchosen—compel us to pay attention to what is happening in our mind.
We look deep to determine truth from myth.
And let’s face it: all of us have lies that we tell ourselves—even without noticing. Most of these mistruths are unintentionally believed (rarely do we purposefully believe a lie). But regardless, these lies impact the way we live, the decisions we make, how we communicate with others, and yes, even the state of our home.
Six years ago, my family discovered the joy of owning less when we decided to remove 2008 items in 2008. We enjoyed it so much, we also removed 2009 items in 2009, 2010 items in 2010, and have continued every year including this one (with 8 people in the house, stuff seems to seep in through the cracks!).
This change in our lives, eliminating the unnecessary so we can focus more on what really matters, has caused me to evaluate my own thoughts and beliefs. As I did, I began to recognize some of the specific lies that were keeping my home and life cluttered.
Surely, we each have our own versions, but I have found six that are particularly common. See if any of these are keeping you from experiencing greater simplicity in your life.
Lie #1: If I limit my wardrobe, my clothes will be boring.
Truth: Having a smaller amount of clothes allows us to invest in quality items that fit well and coordinate, so no matter what you pull out to wear, you look great. Your clothes do not have to be boring.
A capsule wardrobe can include any items you want! It doesn’t have to be neutral.
People will notice how great and “put together” you look all the time. You can spice up outfits with different accessories to add variety and include your own special touch. If you like hats, a few different hats can be your statement pieces. The same can go for belts, scarves, heels, or even boots.
Lie #2: If I leave the work for later, I will be more motivated to finish it.
Truth: Whenever we procrastinate little projects around our home, a running to-do list begins forming in the back of our mind. And this makes it difficult to truly enjoy other things. As a result, not only is the work not finished, it has also become an annoyance to us.
To alleviate this stress, get into the habit of putting something away when you are done using it. Most small jobs take less than 5 minutes. Finish them right away and then revel in your accomplishment. Put the baking supplies away when you are done. Do the dishes after you eat. Fold and put away the current load of laundry when the dryer is done. Sort the mail as soon as you bring it in the house. Or reset the living room before you even leave. Your home will stay uncluttered—and so will your mind.
If you accomplish little things throughout the day, you won’t need to set aside time to clean. You’re creating a habit of tidiness rather than using all your energy catching up on what you’ve been putting off.
Lie #3: If I get rid of something, I’ll regret it later.
Truth: Most of the stuff we keep, we don’t actually need. And often times, when we do keep something around “just in case” and get to the point where we do need it, we can’t find it. So we end up borrowing one or purchasing a new one. So why keep it in the first place?
Or perhaps we keep things out of guilt—sentimental items where we feel like we’re betraying the person who gave it to us. We’re not getting rid of the people or the memory, we’re just getting rid of an item. If the item is sitting in storage, it’s not serving its useful purpose anyway. Allow yourself to find freedom by releasing it. Or allow the item to serve a purpose by giving it a new home.
Lie #4: If I throw out papers, I will toss something important.
Truth: We don’t need nearly as many physical records as we keep. Most likely, if you choose to tackle your pile of papers and sort it all over a trash can, a full 80% of it will be junk mail, receipts that you don’t need, bills that have already been paid, or other documents that are accessible online. The remaining 20% or less can fit in a small filing box.
Exceptions: If you own a business, get legal advice from your accountant on what you need to keep and how to best organize papers and receipts. If you have settled a debt with a company, keep the statement saying that it was paid. If you file for any financial assistance, you may need a couple months worth of bills, bank statements, and pay stubs—though many of those are available to print online.
Lie #5: If it’s going to get done right, I need to do it myself.
Truth: When we fail to delegate, we harm ourselves with overwork and burnout. Even more, we steal the opportunity of growth from others. Requiring perfectionism is often just another form of procrastination. It really doesn’t matter how a job gets done, as long as it gets done.
Perhaps the work will not be done exactly as you would do it, but delegation is important, especially as we teach our children the value of hard work and how to be a contributing member of society. Start with tasks that will bother you the least if they’re done ‘incorrectly’ and then work from there. Many children can break down boxes, take out the trash, and choose 20 items they want to donate from their toys. Your spouse can tackle one room while you do another.
Lie #6: If my closet and drawers are cluttered, I need better organization tools.
Truth: We can’t organize excess. Maybe the solution isn’t that you need a better organization tool, maybe the problem is that you own too much stuff. Courtney Carver says it this way: “If you need to buy more stuff to organize all your stuff, maybe you own too much stuff.”
Purchasing organizational tools is just feeding into the consumer philosophy. To organize excess is to spend even more time sorting and taking care of stuff, when we could just be rid of it once and for all and spend more time doing the things that are truly important to us.
***
Rachel Jones blogs at Nourishing Minimalism where she helps people clear the clutter, invite calmness into their homes, and enjoy the time they spend together. Also, you will enjoy her Facebook page.
About Joshua Becker
Sounds like you’re acquiring too much. That’s the opposite of minimalism. So, effectively, each year, for the past nine years, you’ve acquired 2,000 items only to get rid of them in a future year. Throwing away and rebuying is not minimalism, it’s consumerism.
Regarding #4 – Please always recycle paper (or shred & recycle, if needed)
In fact, recycle everything that can be recycled. Thanks!!
How much stuff does one really NEED. Very little! In fact less stuff is less work, easier to maintain! You spend less and live more!
I am now more conscientious of the gifts that I give to other people. In the past, I always felt that giving flowers was a rip-off to the reciever because they die, but now that is the precise reason that I give them! Also, gift cards for consumables (eg health food store, cosmetics, restaurant, beauty service), or a donation to a charity in their honour.
Thank you for the article. I especially enjoy seeing my own experiences in the comments section.
Appreciate your revolutionary comment: we can’t organize excess. I’m always looking for a bottom line and I believe that comment is it. Wow! I feel like I just got wings! Truth is a beautiful and freeing thing. Thank you…
Thanks for the reality check!
When we decided to sell our house and travel American full time in our Airstream, we had to do a reality check on cutting out all of our clutter. I especially had a hard time with keeping important papers. I went through every paper, and had to ask important questions, “How will this help me later? Is this useful now? Why do I need this?” If I cound’t answer the questions, then out it went.
I have recently experienced an unusual cause for clutter and that is too much space. My mother, my best friend, they live in huge living spaces and their lives are out of control with stuff. Not important stuff just stuff that unfortunately will simply be tossed into a landfill because it’s just not important or valuable. And then once the purge happens, more stuff creeps into the gaping spaces because there’s so much of it. There’s no need to put things away, there’s so much space.
I enjoy my simple life and they do too when they visit.
I found the best declutterng was visual, and by removing some pictures. a framed embriodery, and some plaques from the walls, I felt “a bit more space to think in”. I know, it sounds a bit crazy (I’m not), but it was an eye opener (pardon the pun) to me. Our home is small, therefore, anything that contributes to visually creating space if good. I’ve also removed a small table by the back door that had only framed photos on it, 2 dining chairs that are rarely used, and I try very hard to keep the dining table clear (but as that’s the only workspace – no room for a desk or office space – it’s often cluttered).
Why is it the person who did the cleaning is more protective of it?? I am soooo thankful to have a wonderful husband who doesn’t hesitate to do any housework or chores. But its funny, if he cleans something and I leave something out after he has cleaned, I hear about it Ü I clean all the time and then tease him when he breaks the cycle. What I have learned and it really helps us both is to only TOUCH IT ONE TIME. You brought the tape measure in from the garage, used it……now put it back where you got it. You only touch it one time. Don’t lay it down on a table to “go into the garage” later. It’s sounds crazy, but it really works.
I’ll admit I was nervous to read this, since personally I am not a fan of minimalism (I think of homes completely devoid of personality and signs of life, purely functional and immaculately clean… and I believe one’s home should be so much more). That said, I am certainly a proponent of keeping only what you need, use, love… what brings joy/inspiration and elicits other positive feelings. Your list of lies definitely taps into some of the psychology behind positive interior design; I agree that “eliminating the unnecessary… we can focus more on what really matters… evaluate [one’s] own thoughts and beliefs.” I also know that a great many people are feeling burdened/guilty about clutter and disorganization, so often paring down is a great first step to enhancing well-being and happiness at home. Pretty much brings us to baseline (perhaps “blank slate” is an appropriate phrase, since article is about minimalism), so that we can then enhance our surroundings to elicit positive emotions regularly. Love some of the comments posted, too!
2 years ago, I decided to downsize from a 2 bedroom house, and found a beautiful 1 bedroom ground floor flat with big established garden. I had 18 days to reduce my stuff of 25 years! (My son now had his own place, but I still had many of his childhood things). I managed to dispose of unneeded things very quickly..good stuff went to charity, paper and old college folder were quickly reduced, much furniture had to go, to friends and family. 2 years on, I still do the rounds (cupboards, drawers, kitchen etc to declutter), as there is nowhere to hide anything, and hardly any storage space.
I don’t miss anything I got rid of, and have freed up so much time and energy for other things.
My partner is a hoarder. He has a massive house, full of stuff. In 3 years he still won’t let me in, or any of his friends. He is constantly ‘working’ on it, refuses any help, and has had big plans for his house for the last 20+ years. His boiler and heating system has broken down, plumbing inadequate, and he frequently suffers with debilitating gout. So has many ‘reasons’ for not getting organised. He has a big tv that doesn’t work, dilapidated sofa, and broken washing machine, which I have suggested, and arranged many times for their collection, to free up some space, but he always has excuses for them not to go. I try not to think of his old age (I am older), as it won’t get any easier for him, and he won’t let me or anyone help. I see his house as a massive ball and chain.
Sorry this ‘comment’ is so long. As you can tell, I can recognize all of the above lies.
Sorry to hear about your partner. It reminds me of a very sad situation with my aunt who is 83 and lives 3 hours away from me. She wouldn’t let me in for 10+years as she was always busy trying to get her roof fixed.
Well, she finally let me and my cousin in a couple of years ago. So much clutter, mostly newspapers, that there were paths through the house wide enough only for one person to get through. And the roof had leaked so badly, beams fallen down, kitchen cabinets sliding off the walls, etc.!
We persuaded her to move to the nearby house of a deceased family member because my aunt’s dog was constantly wet. Then we hired a neighbor she trusted to sort and discard the water damaged things (5 dumpsters later) so we could get the house empty enough to get estimates on repairs.
The house basically needs to be rebuilt from the foundation up and she doesn’t have enough money to do that. Very sad.
My cousin and I both swear we will never live with clutter.
I have an awful time declutering, and am hopelessly famous for the old “but I might need it later” excuse. Personally, I find it tough to throw things away because I don’t have much excess money to replace them if I do end up needing them. Also, they end up stockpiling in a spare room, for me to eventually sell on Ebay or at a yard sale if I need extra cash. The key word here is eventually – because sometimes I’ll keep things for 5+ years before I have time to deal with them. At least I do throw away actual junk – but if it’s something I paid for, I can’t seem to part with it. Am also guilty of organizing all these things into bins and containers. Somehow if something is tucked into a bin, people don’t think you’re a slob. But if things are all just pushed onto shelves, you look like one of those freaks on a Hoarder TV show.
I have been simplifying our home and life for the last few years, each year more and more. I have believed so many lies in the past. I am realizing that a simple and cluttered free lifestyle truly adds to our family peace and joy.
Wow this article has really summed me up and I tell myself a lot of those things. It’s good to know I’m not alone in this and if this article has helped others it can help me. I’ve bought stuff to make me feel happy but in turn with the build up of stuff it just gets you down. I have three bags of clothes which have been sitting waiting to donate and I keep putting it off thinking I’m making a mistake but they hold no sentiment and just make me feel down when I look at them. They will go this week when I can get out of the house as I struggle due to ill health
Another thing to point out, (if someone hasn’t already!) is to ask yourself how much you’re paying for storage for items you don’t want to buy again. The cost analysis will probably show that you’re paying a LOT more for storage (even if it’s having a bigger house than you would need otherwise) than you would buying everything in the storage unit over again.
Thank you for an excellent article to help keep me on track. I regularly donate items to charity and post on freecycle.com but this does take time and room to organize and store the items between pickups. Every time I find myself putting a non-essential item in my basket at the store, I remind myself of the stack of donations I have sitting in my spare room and ask ‘Will this item be in that stack in 6 months?’ I save money by not buying the item and time by not having to store and clean the item until I decide to donate it.
Procrastination is my sin
It brings me lots of sorrow,
I really have to try and stop,
In fact – I’ll start
Tomorrow !!
I don’t necessarily agree with getting rid of sentimental items. I have plates, cups & dishes that belonged to my grandmothers, my wedding bouquet, sugar roses from my cake, ring pillow & bag made for my wedding by my Mum & some other small pieces. They all live in a glass cabinet. I LOVE them & they give me joy. To get rid of them would be heart breaking & a photo of them wouldn’t be the same. These items can never be replaced & will one day be handed down to my daughters. If it’s special & you love it, you should keep it.
Are you referring to this part? “perhaps we keep things out of guilt—sentimental items where we feel like we’re betraying the person who gave it to us. We’re not getting rid of the people or the memory, we’re just getting rid of an item. If the item is sitting in storage, it’s not serving its useful purpose anyway.”
I don’t see this as applying in your situation, since you love the items and enjoy holding onto them. You have them displayed in your house and have a plan to pass them on to your daughters. Heirlooms are not the same thing as random unwanted items that people keep, out of guilt, or respect for their loved one, just because the item happens to have some sentimental meaning.
This is the real way of thinking.
If my parents could understand that …
I have been decluttering my house for seven years. I amazed again and how I didn’t need that clunky cabinet. This one was in the kitchen. When I cleaned it out everything fit somewhere else. Insane. Oh yeah, and I only have a one bedroom little house. I guess I am work in progress.
I hate cleaning. I hate seeing clutter. As I’ve move several times, I’ve seen the junk build up between the moves. Going thru the house/appartment as if I were moving again is a simple way of focusing on what I need and what looks good as a display item. Decluttering helps keep the place clean and helps others know what you are about. There is nothing wrong with appropriately placed items of display but when they take up to much space then the focus is lost.
I liked this post. So I started to count. But, I am already a minimalist. There would be not one item in my house if I removed 2000. :)
I cleaned out the Kitchen “junk drawer” a couple of months ago. I don’t need to organize it anymore because everything in there has it’s place, it is useful and I know where it is in an instant. With that note I am carrying on with this approach through the rest of my House. I know it will take awhile but so far I see great progress!! Thanks Joshua for your amazing posts and ‘Guests… much appreciated!! :)
I had an unexpected day off today due to heavy snows. I decided to start tackling my clutter. I went through three dressers, a closet and started in on the spare room. Two large bags of useless clothing and other items later, I feel great. Super productive day.
I happily joined this challenge three weeks ago, as part of my continuing journey into minimalism, non-consumerism, and happiness, and so far have rid my home of 200 things, most of which were donated. A nasty cold caused my decluttering to grind to a halt temporarily, but I hope to be back to it soon!
This blog post was succinct and timely. In 2010 I lived in a 5 bedroom, 5 car garage, 5 bathroom, 6000+ square foot home and today, I live in 1000 square feet and own less than 400 items, and that includes each item of clothing and kitchenware. It was a process that took nearly 5 years to accomplish. The results have been staggering. I’ve cut my monthly costs by $1900 and that doesn’t include the maintenance and “replacement” stuff money needed for the large house. This journey has given me more of the most valuable resource, time . . . Yes, being a minimalist is not about how many items you own, it’s about removing that which is not essential and fixing our lives around personal growth, relationships, and serving others. For 2015 I’ve taken the challenge of not buying any additional items unless it for replacement. In short, this way of life is one I wish I had embraced decades ago! Thanks for the great post . . . it was inspiring to read :)
Like totally impressed. That is some lifestyle change. Congratulations.
I bet that nasty cold was your body’s way of saying ‘ i’m clearing your blocked chackras! ‘
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for this post! We truly believe… ‘less stuff more life’ but we find it very easy to fall back in to our consumerist ways and end up with a lot of stuff we really do not need! Thanks for inspiring us to come back to our minimalist journey! :) x
Any thoughts on DVD/ Blueray/ CD clutter? Does anybody have ones that they keep digitally? How/ where would I store them? We sort of have a lot. We are a family of 11 that homeschools. We enjoy reading and watching movies. I just read Robin Devine’s article on books. Very helpful!
I have an external hard drive that I use for movies
I love this list Rachel! It can be very easy to make excuses as to why we cannot reduce the amount of our possessions (I am so guilty of this at times!).
Great tips for aspiring minimalists who have yet to cut the excuses!
I love this post! I found my physical decluttering lead to “decluttering” in other areas of my life. I wanted daily tasks less cluttered, food menus more simple, and electronic systems minimalized. Thank you for sharing!
We recycle a big paper bag of plastic, newspaper and junk mail most days. Then every week we give away a big bag of clothing, books, DVD’s (we no longer buy DVD’s) and other things. I recently emptied out a cupboard. I am trying to clean out more space. There is so much we don’t want or need and it is like glue.
More will go.
i work in a residential home, they have very few cooking implements and pots plates etc, and i thought how do they manage to cook and make meals with so few things, but the secret is you really don,t need that much, and wash up as you go, keep it simple, buy good quality knives,pans and utensils, they might cost alot initially but will prove a wise investment, you tend to get what you pay for when it comes to kitchen products, dont,waste your money on fad time saving gadgets, they will soon lose their appeal love Jacqueline
That is so true- I love the kitchen items that I really invested in, both in searching for quality and money spent. They have lasted and continue to be useful.
I totally tell myself these lies all the time when it comes to getting rid of clutter. I have been doing a lot better and I actually have a goal this year to get rid of at least one thing every day for an entire month. Check out more details on my blog: http://smplife.com/change2015
#5 made me think of Voltaire.
“Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of good.”
If my kids fold the towels good enough…that is exactly what they should be and letting that perfection go feels so good!
Simple Parenting: 6 Tips on Find Imagination and Play
https://awellstockedlife.wordpress.com/2015/01/26/simple-parenting-6-tips-on-finding-imagination-and-play/
I am guilty of #2 a lot. I get home and am just so tired to clean up, even if it’s something small. But cleaning as a habit is definitely something to work on. My mom does it to her bathroom and her tub is squeaky clean.
I’m so thankful that my husband and I are both “neatnicks.” He NEVER leaves his socks or the newspaper on the floor. We go to bed with a clean kitchen, etc. Now if we can only finish whittling that garage attic!
Why is it that we can teach children calculus, Italian, the history of Ancient Rome, the complex rules of cricket and how to sing in harmony …. but we never ever even address the issues of how to live our lives to the best of our abillity without the need to prove our worth with our car, our house and all the stuff we can squeeze in them.
A very useful set of guidelines that I will ensure my children learn :)
I am so grateful to have this site to come to everyday :)
Your organization lie rings true for me as well as regretting things later. I blogged about my decluttering year and the results it yielded for this year and encouraged my readers to visit both this site and Nourishing Minimalism. Thanks for the great article!
http://heavenissmilingabove.blogspot.com/2015/01/a-house-of-order.html
Hello!
This is absolutely fabulous! I definitely found myself feeling a little guilty for a few there but it is very nice for someone to point out the little obvious things that are holding us back. This is wonderful – so thank you :)
Thanks for reading! :-)
When you buy or sell a house, as we recently did, it becomes an ideal time to clean out. While it was tough, we have not missed one item we threw away. It feels better to have less clutter around but we still have too many clothes. You’ve convinced me it will make sense to donate a lot of them.
I can relate! When we put our house on the market a few years ago, I packed up things to make the house look more open and clean- and then I left them boxed and let them go- our lives were more enjoyable without them!
I read another post on another blog about doing just that. Staging your house for LIVING, not just when you want to sell.
Brilliant! I’m getting there. It’s a journey.
I love getting home from work and everything is put away. My toughest fight is with the sentimental items such as an apron my mom wore in the 50’s. It’s hard to part with, though I tried to sell it on eBay. Today, with your encouragement, I will donate it.
Although we are working on simplification (a box or bag is donated every month or so) and are mindful of new things we bring in to the house, I also struggle with the sentimental items that were my mother’s. Before we downsize, those things will be donated to my sisters. At least they’ll stay in the family.
Those items are challenging items, Susan. I like to go with: “If you love it, keep it.” So many sentimental items I had were kept out of guilt. Finally being able to part with them gave me a sense of freedom. I did keep a few things- they are things that I really love.
Can you do something creative with it, like frame the fabric or make a pillow out of it? Some way to repurpose it in a creative way to get it out of a drawer and give it a purpose so that it’s no longer clutter?
You might consider using the apron to make something else. I used parts of an old 50s tablecloth that had been my grandmother and mother’s into a pillow cover. I get wonderful comments. I don’t save things like that often but the tablecloth was so cheerful and held such memories. Not yet to minimalist but definitely not a maximalist
Hope you took a picture of it first.
Dear Susan,
A friend manages things like that special apron by taking pictures or even a swatch of the fabric if it is worn, to ,make an album of things. They take up even less space if stored online.
I now speak to beloved items. Appreciate what they meant to me, how they served me, and why i want someone else to enjoy things I no longer need or can fit in to. I choose to see it as being selfish to hoard those things when so many in this. World have very little. We have become so conspicuously consumptive in our country.
An old Quaker joke was that you tell your Friend’s Mercedes because it was grey. The idea is to buy something of sound value that will last for a long time. This is not the equivalent of “name brand”, although it is sometimes true.
It is a great experience to think about what you use, even keep a list, then compare it, after a few months with what you have.
Happy sharing to simplify our lives with meaningful pleasing things we use and enjoy.
The article doesn’t say not to keep any sentimental items. It days not to count EVERYTHING as sentimental and let the items take over your house and your life. If your mother’s apron really means something to you then you should keep it! You could either wear it to cook it yourself and if that’s not for you it could be displayed in your kitchen. There are things worth keeping for sentimental reasons and nostalgia. Some people just take that idea too far.
Your mother’s apron seems very special, have you thought of making it into a throw pillow that you could actually use? I’m not one to hang onto a lot, but that o e seems like a keeper at least in some way.
This was a great post Rachel! I really like the point you make about delegating tasks.
I find this especially true with online business. As your business grows you’ll find more and more tedious tasks that need to be done. It’s important to let go of perfection and delegate the task to someone else so that you can focus on the big picture.
You can never be working on your business if you’re always working in your business.
Thanks for all the great simplicity tips, Rachel!
Very true! Thanks George.
Wow, I am impressed how you removed several thousands of objects… I only own about 500 :D
To your first point I’d like to add that you can swap clothes with friends instead of buying more. It’s fun, social and for free.
And I’m impressed with your 500! :-) I don’t anticipate being able to live that minimally until the kids are all grown. But it sounds lovely!
I’ll try (and probably fail) to not sound like a crazy organizational-tools-are-a big-conspiracy-theory-to-separate-you-from-your-money-person, but they are!!! Lie #6 makes me crazy!
My apartment is a 1 bedroom but has the functionality of a 2 bedroom (I can’t afford a 2 bedroom) and I confess all my organization tools are basically home made and mostly from material from the garbage. Yup, no fancy bamboo wood, elegant looking drawer organizers for me, but cut up pieces of toothpaste boxes, aspirin or Kraft Dinner boxes I found in the recycling downstairs. Scissors + 2 sided tape and presto, organized drawers. Instead of buying fancy shelves at IKEA I got downstairs to the loading bay and find pieces of broken IKEA furniture, cut the material to size (some times I don’t even need to cut) and spend a few bucks on brackets and presto instant vertical storage.
My point is, besides a love of 2 sided tape and shelving, is that you may have have the tools/supplies already right under your nose. Getting organized should never be an excused for more shopping (unless it’s for brackets and 2 sided tape! Oh and magnets!).
You make a good point that one doesn’t need to spend any money to store and organize belongings. Personally, I desire an aesthetically pleasing life and I wouldn’t want to live with taped together Mac N Cheese boxes or old, broken furniture. As I work to eliminate excess from my home, I still desire to have possessions that are both useful AND beautiful.
Yes,it’s definitely possible to achieve a visually beautiful yet uncluttered and organised home.Just takes a lot of thought and imagination.
Your welcome to take a look.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsHkliBvbxU
I am very impressed with your shelving ideas Jo. Re-using drawers as wall unit shelves is a great idea.
I’m completely with you on wanting something aesthetically pleasing. I was raised by a mom that make trash functional and am so over ugly but it works. That repurposing felt cluttered and suffocating to me.
Love the idea of simplicity, along with beauty….like the Shakers !
It is possible to make lovely or er things with boxes fabric tape and repurposed ikea etc. look at the store….paper, fabric or paper glued on. You may not want to do it, but you can make lovely things. Quilts are a lifetime example.
Very true, it doesn’t take much to fill that purpose!
I just wanted to say Thanks to Joshua for featuring guest posts like this one. I am part of the simple year course and decluttering as best I can–and I find it immensely helpful to have as many role models as possible. Great article Rachel–off to check off your blog.Thanks for these reminders.
Thanks Alana!
Right now I have a table, one chair, a microwave stand, a mini three drawer dresser, two small wire rolling carts, a couple laundry baskets and a couple of cardboard boxes. I think right now my clutter issue *IS* because I don’t have enough furniture/organization tools. Lol
I totally use the lie – I need better organizational tools. I always tell myself that if I had a closet organizer or a desk organizer or whatever, I wouldn’t be so messy. Thus, until I get those organizers, my life is destined to be messy. But I moved recently to my own place, and decided to keep things to a minimum. The less stuff I had in my place, the less cluttered it was. It wasn’t about the organizational tools at all! I love all the lies that you have pointed out in this post. Thank you for pointing us to the truth.
Thank you!
Organizing items definitely have their place, but it’s much less than what we’re led to believe. :-)
I find it helpful to me to think of buying lots of “organizational tools” as building a shrine to excess.
Lie #7: If I get rid of this gift someone gave me, they will be upset.
Truth: Chances are, they will never even know (or notice)…and once it’s given to you, it’s your choice to do what you want with it!
The “4 letter words” of decluttering…’Sale’, ‘Gift’, and ‘Free’ ;)
I help people declutter for a living, and it’s one of the most rewarding jobs in the world!
What is your title? I want to professionally declutter!
Lol- too true!
That’s so great that you help people Molly! It’s definitely needed.
I have both my mother and mother-in-law checking up on the gifts they’ve given us to make sure we still have them. So, yes, some people will notice. Since both live on tight budgets their gifts are a sacrifice (even though they rarely ask for input to make sure we can use it) and they don’t want their sacrifices wasted. Family harmony is a tricky beast to deal with…
Sorry to hear your family members are “checking” up on the gifts they buy you! I am always surprised at how people view gift-giving; I have noticed that older generations (like my grandmother) who come from households raised in the Great Depression tend to be hoarders or are seriously attached to items obtained and force that burden on other family members.
My mother, a serious pack-rat, always requires me to “check in” with her before getting rid of something our family owned or that she gave to me, however, my MIL views the gift as mine and I can do whatever I wish to do with it!
I have to say, I can understand your mother wanting to keep ‘family’ items in the family….if a keepsake was given to my sibling and they disposed of it without asking if one of the rest of us wanted it, I’d be upset too!
If the item is an heirloom, or given to me recently that I learned I have no use for, then I often ask my family is they would like the item or passed on to someone.
I do this for specific items, not everything that’s ever passed my way from family.
If ur fam truly knows and loves each other, you will all be happy jus with a heartfelt, handwritten note, or a creation made by each of you. I’ve realized that if we buy things jus to say we’ve bought em gifts, it’s such a waste of money and has no sentimental value. Our fam shud know when we live on a tight budget as well. They wudnt want their loved ones spending until there’s no money for bills. As you get older, you realize that the most important things in life can’t be bought. I realized this as the children got older. I had a history of spending way too much at gift time, esp Christmas. Js…
Also…it’s great if you do purchase genuinely needed gifts 4 others. My kids have been doing these things 4 a while, and there’s a lot less stress. We can actually enjoy the holidays as a fam!
My mother is terminal, I have left my home and job to take care of her, this caused our finances to be tight…. It did allow us to spend the holidays in a large group. I set a goal of spending no more than $5 per person, ensuring everyone got a gift, and focusing on things they could use, except my grands who got small toys I knew they would like. A pair of slippers here, a scarf there, gloves found on sale at the hardware store for the boys, a couple stocking caps with built in ear buds for the techie boys, etc, a nice sports jacket for my husband I found at the thrift shop. I spent $103 on 22 gifts…. Everyone was appropriate to the giftee and is being used, many expensive gifts get registered or shoved in a cupboard and forgotten….
Try to change the giving-tradition in your family from giving material things into giving one another new memories that will last a lifetime and only will bring some pictures in your house: spend the money on trips, diners, theater, picknicks with them etcetc. Fulfilling moments for everyone with ‘only’ a few pictures as touchable memories!
Many years ago, my parents set the example of giving a donation in our name to the charity of our choice. It is one of the best examples of selflessness that I’ve learned from my parents, and my children are excited each year to pick out their own charity to donate to. It proves that giving instead of receiving really does feel good.
It doesn’t need to be a lot, as every charity we’ve encountered has been grateful for any donation. We receive a sweet note from each charity thanking us for it!
The small children usually get plenty of gifts from their parents so they open a bank acct for the child and we “donate” to their college/car fund!
Bingo- no clutter!
I just started buying a share or 2 of stock for my grandkids. Rather than buying some meaningless toy, I’m hoping to help their financial future.
We have been moving away from material gifts into more practical giving. Our daughter loves to give us a “certificate” promising 3 or 4 homemade dinners. That not only provides us with meals (I hate to cook), but also the opportunity to dine at home with her and her children. Love it!
When my sister and I were kids we had no allowance or any means of purchasing even little things. We would do “gift cards” to our parents and each other, i.e. 3 back rubs or 4 times doing one another’s chores. I think we all gained from it.
I’ll be forwarding this to my husband, who never puts a lid on a jar, never closes a cupboard or closet door, never gets anything to the sink or dishwasher, is buried in paper, and can never find anything because it never goes back to a specific place. Keeping things because he might need it later has buried our garage. These things don’t bother me as much as they used to, but I believe they make his life unnecessarily difficult for him. As much as one person minimizes their life, if the other doesn’t, it’s a lopsided household. My constantly cleaning up after him feels like enabling to me. Not an unhealthy role I want to be in. Thanks for such a specific article that addresses ALL of my issues.
this happens the same way in our home!
Omg I think your husband might be my father!
You have described my situation perfectly, keeping things ‘just in case’, the garage is full and disorganised and when there is a job to be done a new piece of wood or whatever has to be bought – the hoarded pieces never being quite right most of the time. Husband finds it hard to discard almost everthing even the useless everyday packaging which I have to dispose of *in secret*.
This was the same way in my household for years; trying to live with someone who saved everything (even everything from their childhood was in our garage so our vehicles could not be in there), was living in complete disorganization and blamed others every time he couldn’t find something– which was daily. It eventually became too much. I had to seek out the daily peace and simplicity I was missing in trying to cohabitate with someone whose ways were very unpeaceful. Best thing I ever did for myself.
This comment is aimed at us all: A very ancient book basically gives the same advice I read in most of the other comments: Be content with less. 1 Timothy 6: 7&8- The Bible. Best wishes from George in Utah.
Wonderful passage of scripture. So true!
Thank you so much for this. I constantly make excuses for my “collecting”. If the Bible tells me I don’t need it, then it is true! No more excuses!
Loved reading the verses :) 2 Tim.6:6-8 thank you. My challenges as we have most all our belongings in storage while we finish building, having sold our house. We will again move all our stuff in a few weeks, praying for wisdom to minimize.
Are we married to the same man? Mine even gets mad if he can’t find things and blames me for moving them. When I do it is in organizers with like items.
Same here!!!!
My husband is the same and when I purge our house he always says “Wait! We could sell that!” yet refuses to have a garage/yard sale and never lists anything online to sell either…. It’s very frustrating.
If I didn’t know different I would say you married my husband! Each comment I make, even asking as sweetly as is humanly possible results in him getting angry.
I definitely find that cleaning as I go yields a clutter-free home. Every task and activity we do has the element of clean-up incorporated. My husband is our cook and he actually weaves clean-up time into his recipes so that by the time he’s done cooking, the kitchen is back to tidy.
This technique has also helped us to simplify–if we’re constantly moving an item in order to clean, then we realize we should just get rid of the item! And, I love your thoughts on organizational materials–you’re so right. They’re basically the epitome of being owned by your stuff.
You are so right! Cleaning as you go makes the whole experience more pleasant.
As a horder of the “I may need it later” I will give you all this advice. Throw it out for your husband or donate it…. take the heat, and live clutter free for a while. It will happen again and again. Once in a while I let or ask my daughter who is very organized to purge for me. I leave the house when she does it and do NOT ask what she threw out. Sometimes I NEED something she trashed and ask if it is really gone. Then I buy another bracket or whatever tor $5. It is very hard to not dig through those cans on Monday (trash day) but I don’t and am much better off.
Dee, My grandmother is a hoarder. We call her a “clean hoarder”, but the level of clutter in her house is truly overwhelming. The only time we succeeded in getting *some* order in the main rooms was when four of us kids were given free-range and a case of 55gal trash bags. We tossed an entire bag of medical records for a long-deceased great grandmother, 1980s bank statements and probably 500 catalogues!
I Absolutely agree with you. And I actually took what you mentioned about your husband and cooking and used it myself. If I waiting for something to be heated up I will clean up the dishes and counters as I go. So thank you!