Note: This is a guest post from Rachel Jones of Nourishing Minimalism.
Whenever we decide to embrace a major change in life, we are forced to evaluate our thoughts and beliefs. Major changes—whether chosen or unchosen—compel us to pay attention to what is happening in our mind.
We look deep to determine truth from myth.
And let’s face it: all of us have lies that we tell ourselves—even without noticing. Most of these mistruths are unintentionally believed (rarely do we purposefully believe a lie). But regardless, these lies impact the way we live, the decisions we make, how we communicate with others, and yes, even the state of our home.
Six years ago, my family discovered the joy of owning less when we decided to remove 2008 items in 2008. We enjoyed it so much, we also removed 2009 items in 2009, 2010 items in 2010, and have continued every year including this one (with 8 people in the house, stuff seems to seep in through the cracks!).
This change in our lives, eliminating the unnecessary so we can focus more on what really matters, has caused me to evaluate my own thoughts and beliefs. As I did, I began to recognize some of the specific lies that were keeping my home and life cluttered.
Surely, we each have our own versions, but I have found six that are particularly common. See if any of these are keeping you from experiencing greater simplicity in your life.
Lie #1: If I limit my wardrobe, my clothes will be boring.
Truth: Having a smaller amount of clothes allows us to invest in quality items that fit well and coordinate, so no matter what you pull out to wear, you look great. Your clothes do not have to be boring.
A capsule wardrobe can include any items you want! It doesn’t have to be neutral.
People will notice how great and “put together” you look all the time. You can spice up outfits with different accessories to add variety and include your own special touch. If you like hats, a few different hats can be your statement pieces. The same can go for belts, scarves, heels, or even boots.
Lie #2: If I leave the work for later, I will be more motivated to finish it.
Truth: Whenever we procrastinate little projects around our home, a running to-do list begins forming in the back of our mind. And this makes it difficult to truly enjoy other things. As a result, not only is the work not finished, it has also become an annoyance to us.
To alleviate this stress, get into the habit of putting something away when you are done using it. Most small jobs take less than 5 minutes. Finish them right away and then revel in your accomplishment. Put the baking supplies away when you are done. Do the dishes after you eat. Fold and put away the current load of laundry when the dryer is done. Sort the mail as soon as you bring it in the house. Or reset the living room before you even leave. Your home will stay uncluttered—and so will your mind.
If you accomplish little things throughout the day, you won’t need to set aside time to clean. You’re creating a habit of tidiness rather than using all your energy catching up on what you’ve been putting off.
Lie #3: If I get rid of something, I’ll regret it later.
Truth: Most of the stuff we keep, we don’t actually need. And often times, when we do keep something around “just in case” and get to the point where we do need it, we can’t find it. So we end up borrowing one or purchasing a new one. So why keep it in the first place?
Or perhaps we keep things out of guilt—sentimental items where we feel like we’re betraying the person who gave it to us. We’re not getting rid of the people or the memory, we’re just getting rid of an item. If the item is sitting in storage, it’s not serving its useful purpose anyway. Allow yourself to find freedom by releasing it. Or allow the item to serve a purpose by giving it a new home.
Lie #4: If I throw out papers, I will toss something important.
Truth: We don’t need nearly as many physical records as we keep. Most likely, if you choose to tackle your pile of papers and sort it all over a trash can, a full 80% of it will be junk mail, receipts that you don’t need, bills that have already been paid, or other documents that are accessible online. The remaining 20% or less can fit in a small filing box.
Exceptions: If you own a business, get legal advice from your accountant on what you need to keep and how to best organize papers and receipts. If you have settled a debt with a company, keep the statement saying that it was paid. If you file for any financial assistance, you may need a couple months worth of bills, bank statements, and pay stubs—though many of those are available to print online.
Lie #5: If it’s going to get done right, I need to do it myself.
Truth: When we fail to delegate, we harm ourselves with overwork and burnout. Even more, we steal the opportunity of growth from others. Requiring perfectionism is often just another form of procrastination. It really doesn’t matter how a job gets done, as long as it gets done.
Perhaps the work will not be done exactly as you would do it, but delegation is important, especially as we teach our children the value of hard work and how to be a contributing member of society. Start with tasks that will bother you the least if they’re done ‘incorrectly’ and then work from there. Many children can break down boxes, take out the trash, and choose 20 items they want to donate from their toys. Your spouse can tackle one room while you do another.
Lie #6: If my closet and drawers are cluttered, I need better organization tools.
Truth: We can’t organize excess. Maybe the solution isn’t that you need a better organization tool, maybe the problem is that you own too much stuff. Courtney Carver says it this way: “If you need to buy more stuff to organize all your stuff, maybe you own too much stuff.”
Purchasing organizational tools is just feeding into the consumer philosophy. To organize excess is to spend even more time sorting and taking care of stuff, when we could just be rid of it once and for all and spend more time doing the things that are truly important to us.
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Rachel Jones blogs at Nourishing Minimalism where she helps people clear the clutter, invite calmness into their homes, and enjoy the time they spend together. Also, you will enjoy her Facebook page.
Susan Wilson says
I love getting home from work and everything is put away. My toughest fight is with the sentimental items such as an apron my mom wore in the 50’s. It’s hard to part with, though I tried to sell it on eBay. Today, with your encouragement, I will donate it.
Karen says
Although we are working on simplification (a box or bag is donated every month or so) and are mindful of new things we bring in to the house, I also struggle with the sentimental items that were my mother’s. Before we downsize, those things will be donated to my sisters. At least they’ll stay in the family.
Rachel says
Those items are challenging items, Susan. I like to go with: “If you love it, keep it.” So many sentimental items I had were kept out of guilt. Finally being able to part with them gave me a sense of freedom. I did keep a few things- they are things that I really love.
Kristina says
Can you do something creative with it, like frame the fabric or make a pillow out of it? Some way to repurpose it in a creative way to get it out of a drawer and give it a purpose so that it’s no longer clutter?
Colleen says
You might consider using the apron to make something else. I used parts of an old 50s tablecloth that had been my grandmother and mother’s into a pillow cover. I get wonderful comments. I don’t save things like that often but the tablecloth was so cheerful and held such memories. Not yet to minimalist but definitely not a maximalist
Grateful granny says
Hope you took a picture of it first.
Emom6 says
Dear Susan,
A friend manages things like that special apron by taking pictures or even a swatch of the fabric if it is worn, to ,make an album of things. They take up even less space if stored online.
I now speak to beloved items. Appreciate what they meant to me, how they served me, and why i want someone else to enjoy things I no longer need or can fit in to. I choose to see it as being selfish to hoard those things when so many in this. World have very little. We have become so conspicuously consumptive in our country.
An old Quaker joke was that you tell your Friend’s Mercedes because it was grey. The idea is to buy something of sound value that will last for a long time. This is not the equivalent of “name brand”, although it is sometimes true.
It is a great experience to think about what you use, even keep a list, then compare it, after a few months with what you have.
Happy sharing to simplify our lives with meaningful pleasing things we use and enjoy.
stacyjo says
The article doesn’t say not to keep any sentimental items. It days not to count EVERYTHING as sentimental and let the items take over your house and your life. If your mother’s apron really means something to you then you should keep it! You could either wear it to cook it yourself and if that’s not for you it could be displayed in your kitchen. There are things worth keeping for sentimental reasons and nostalgia. Some people just take that idea too far.
Michelle says
Your mother’s apron seems very special, have you thought of making it into a throw pillow that you could actually use? I’m not one to hang onto a lot, but that o e seems like a keeper at least in some way.
George says
This was a great post Rachel! I really like the point you make about delegating tasks.
I find this especially true with online business. As your business grows you’ll find more and more tedious tasks that need to be done. It’s important to let go of perfection and delegate the task to someone else so that you can focus on the big picture.
You can never be working on your business if you’re always working in your business.
Thanks for all the great simplicity tips, Rachel!
Rachel says
Very true! Thanks George.
Tobias (KLAFATOA) says
Wow, I am impressed how you removed several thousands of objects… I only own about 500 :D
To your first point I’d like to add that you can swap clothes with friends instead of buying more. It’s fun, social and for free.
Rachel says
And I’m impressed with your 500! :-) I don’t anticipate being able to live that minimally until the kids are all grown. But it sounds lovely!
Slackerjo says
I’ll try (and probably fail) to not sound like a crazy organizational-tools-are-a big-conspiracy-theory-to-separate-you-from-your-money-person, but they are!!! Lie #6 makes me crazy!
My apartment is a 1 bedroom but has the functionality of a 2 bedroom (I can’t afford a 2 bedroom) and I confess all my organization tools are basically home made and mostly from material from the garbage. Yup, no fancy bamboo wood, elegant looking drawer organizers for me, but cut up pieces of toothpaste boxes, aspirin or Kraft Dinner boxes I found in the recycling downstairs. Scissors + 2 sided tape and presto, organized drawers. Instead of buying fancy shelves at IKEA I got downstairs to the loading bay and find pieces of broken IKEA furniture, cut the material to size (some times I don’t even need to cut) and spend a few bucks on brackets and presto instant vertical storage.
My point is, besides a love of 2 sided tape and shelving, is that you may have have the tools/supplies already right under your nose. Getting organized should never be an excused for more shopping (unless it’s for brackets and 2 sided tape! Oh and magnets!).
Kitty S. says
You make a good point that one doesn’t need to spend any money to store and organize belongings. Personally, I desire an aesthetically pleasing life and I wouldn’t want to live with taped together Mac N Cheese boxes or old, broken furniture. As I work to eliminate excess from my home, I still desire to have possessions that are both useful AND beautiful.
Jennifer says
Yes,it’s definitely possible to achieve a visually beautiful yet uncluttered and organised home.Just takes a lot of thought and imagination.
Slackerjo says
Your welcome to take a look.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsHkliBvbxU
Salley says
I am very impressed with your shelving ideas Jo. Re-using drawers as wall unit shelves is a great idea.
Mom of 6 under 10 says
I’m completely with you on wanting something aesthetically pleasing. I was raised by a mom that make trash functional and am so over ugly but it works. That repurposing felt cluttered and suffocating to me.
sher says
Love the idea of simplicity, along with beauty….like the Shakers !
Emom6 says
It is possible to make lovely or er things with boxes fabric tape and repurposed ikea etc. look at the store….paper, fabric or paper glued on. You may not want to do it, but you can make lovely things. Quilts are a lifetime example.
Rachel says
Very true, it doesn’t take much to fill that purpose!
Alana in Canada says
I just wanted to say Thanks to Joshua for featuring guest posts like this one. I am part of the simple year course and decluttering as best I can–and I find it immensely helpful to have as many role models as possible. Great article Rachel–off to check off your blog.Thanks for these reminders.
Rachel says
Thanks Alana!
lynnie says
Right now I have a table, one chair, a microwave stand, a mini three drawer dresser, two small wire rolling carts, a couple laundry baskets and a couple of cardboard boxes. I think right now my clutter issue *IS* because I don’t have enough furniture/organization tools. Lol
BrownVagabonder says
I totally use the lie – I need better organizational tools. I always tell myself that if I had a closet organizer or a desk organizer or whatever, I wouldn’t be so messy. Thus, until I get those organizers, my life is destined to be messy. But I moved recently to my own place, and decided to keep things to a minimum. The less stuff I had in my place, the less cluttered it was. It wasn’t about the organizational tools at all! I love all the lies that you have pointed out in this post. Thank you for pointing us to the truth.
Rachel says
Thank you!
Organizing items definitely have their place, but it’s much less than what we’re led to believe. :-)
Carol says
I find it helpful to me to think of buying lots of “organizational tools” as building a shrine to excess.
Molly says
Lie #7: If I get rid of this gift someone gave me, they will be upset.
Truth: Chances are, they will never even know (or notice)…and once it’s given to you, it’s your choice to do what you want with it!
The “4 letter words” of decluttering…’Sale’, ‘Gift’, and ‘Free’ ;)
I help people declutter for a living, and it’s one of the most rewarding jobs in the world!
Getting There says
What is your title? I want to professionally declutter!
Rachel says
Lol- too true!
That’s so great that you help people Molly! It’s definitely needed.
Mom of 6 under 10 says
I have both my mother and mother-in-law checking up on the gifts they’ve given us to make sure we still have them. So, yes, some people will notice. Since both live on tight budgets their gifts are a sacrifice (even though they rarely ask for input to make sure we can use it) and they don’t want their sacrifices wasted. Family harmony is a tricky beast to deal with…
Christina says
Sorry to hear your family members are “checking” up on the gifts they buy you! I am always surprised at how people view gift-giving; I have noticed that older generations (like my grandmother) who come from households raised in the Great Depression tend to be hoarders or are seriously attached to items obtained and force that burden on other family members.
My mother, a serious pack-rat, always requires me to “check in” with her before getting rid of something our family owned or that she gave to me, however, my MIL views the gift as mine and I can do whatever I wish to do with it!
P.J. says
I have to say, I can understand your mother wanting to keep ‘family’ items in the family….if a keepsake was given to my sibling and they disposed of it without asking if one of the rest of us wanted it, I’d be upset too!
Stacy says
If the item is an heirloom, or given to me recently that I learned I have no use for, then I often ask my family is they would like the item or passed on to someone.
I do this for specific items, not everything that’s ever passed my way from family.
Melanie says
If ur fam truly knows and loves each other, you will all be happy jus with a heartfelt, handwritten note, or a creation made by each of you. I’ve realized that if we buy things jus to say we’ve bought em gifts, it’s such a waste of money and has no sentimental value. Our fam shud know when we live on a tight budget as well. They wudnt want their loved ones spending until there’s no money for bills. As you get older, you realize that the most important things in life can’t be bought. I realized this as the children got older. I had a history of spending way too much at gift time, esp Christmas. Js…
Melanie says
Also…it’s great if you do purchase genuinely needed gifts 4 others. My kids have been doing these things 4 a while, and there’s a lot less stress. We can actually enjoy the holidays as a fam!
michele says
My mother is terminal, I have left my home and job to take care of her, this caused our finances to be tight…. It did allow us to spend the holidays in a large group. I set a goal of spending no more than $5 per person, ensuring everyone got a gift, and focusing on things they could use, except my grands who got small toys I knew they would like. A pair of slippers here, a scarf there, gloves found on sale at the hardware store for the boys, a couple stocking caps with built in ear buds for the techie boys, etc, a nice sports jacket for my husband I found at the thrift shop. I spent $103 on 22 gifts…. Everyone was appropriate to the giftee and is being used, many expensive gifts get registered or shoved in a cupboard and forgotten….
Jacqui says
Try to change the giving-tradition in your family from giving material things into giving one another new memories that will last a lifetime and only will bring some pictures in your house: spend the money on trips, diners, theater, picknicks with them etcetc. Fulfilling moments for everyone with ‘only’ a few pictures as touchable memories!
Gtrma says
Many years ago, my parents set the example of giving a donation in our name to the charity of our choice. It is one of the best examples of selflessness that I’ve learned from my parents, and my children are excited each year to pick out their own charity to donate to. It proves that giving instead of receiving really does feel good.
It doesn’t need to be a lot, as every charity we’ve encountered has been grateful for any donation. We receive a sweet note from each charity thanking us for it!
The small children usually get plenty of gifts from their parents so they open a bank acct for the child and we “donate” to their college/car fund!
Bingo- no clutter!
Pamela watson says
I just started buying a share or 2 of stock for my grandkids. Rather than buying some meaningless toy, I’m hoping to help their financial future.
Alice says
We have been moving away from material gifts into more practical giving. Our daughter loves to give us a “certificate” promising 3 or 4 homemade dinners. That not only provides us with meals (I hate to cook), but also the opportunity to dine at home with her and her children. Love it!
Barbara says
When my sister and I were kids we had no allowance or any means of purchasing even little things. We would do “gift cards” to our parents and each other, i.e. 3 back rubs or 4 times doing one another’s chores. I think we all gained from it.
LL in Prescott says
I’ll be forwarding this to my husband, who never puts a lid on a jar, never closes a cupboard or closet door, never gets anything to the sink or dishwasher, is buried in paper, and can never find anything because it never goes back to a specific place. Keeping things because he might need it later has buried our garage. These things don’t bother me as much as they used to, but I believe they make his life unnecessarily difficult for him. As much as one person minimizes their life, if the other doesn’t, it’s a lopsided household. My constantly cleaning up after him feels like enabling to me. Not an unhealthy role I want to be in. Thanks for such a specific article that addresses ALL of my issues.
margaret says
this happens the same way in our home!
Elly says
Omg I think your husband might be my father!
jude says
You have described my situation perfectly, keeping things ‘just in case’, the garage is full and disorganised and when there is a job to be done a new piece of wood or whatever has to be bought – the hoarded pieces never being quite right most of the time. Husband finds it hard to discard almost everthing even the useless everyday packaging which I have to dispose of *in secret*.
Katie Sullivan says
This was the same way in my household for years; trying to live with someone who saved everything (even everything from their childhood was in our garage so our vehicles could not be in there), was living in complete disorganization and blamed others every time he couldn’t find something– which was daily. It eventually became too much. I had to seek out the daily peace and simplicity I was missing in trying to cohabitate with someone whose ways were very unpeaceful. Best thing I ever did for myself.
George says
This comment is aimed at us all: A very ancient book basically gives the same advice I read in most of the other comments: Be content with less. 1 Timothy 6: 7&8- The Bible. Best wishes from George in Utah.
Meg says
Wonderful passage of scripture. So true!
Barbara says
Thank you so much for this. I constantly make excuses for my “collecting”. If the Bible tells me I don’t need it, then it is true! No more excuses!
Tina says
Loved reading the verses :) 2 Tim.6:6-8 thank you. My challenges as we have most all our belongings in storage while we finish building, having sold our house. We will again move all our stuff in a few weeks, praying for wisdom to minimize.
GL says
Are we married to the same man? Mine even gets mad if he can’t find things and blames me for moving them. When I do it is in organizers with like items.
T says
Same here!!!!
Allison Miller says
My husband is the same and when I purge our house he always says “Wait! We could sell that!” yet refuses to have a garage/yard sale and never lists anything online to sell either…. It’s very frustrating.
Evelyn says
If I didn’t know different I would say you married my husband! Each comment I make, even asking as sweetly as is humanly possible results in him getting angry.
Mrs. Frugalwoods says
I definitely find that cleaning as I go yields a clutter-free home. Every task and activity we do has the element of clean-up incorporated. My husband is our cook and he actually weaves clean-up time into his recipes so that by the time he’s done cooking, the kitchen is back to tidy.
This technique has also helped us to simplify–if we’re constantly moving an item in order to clean, then we realize we should just get rid of the item! And, I love your thoughts on organizational materials–you’re so right. They’re basically the epitome of being owned by your stuff.
Rachel says
You are so right! Cleaning as you go makes the whole experience more pleasant.
Dee says
As a horder of the “I may need it later” I will give you all this advice. Throw it out for your husband or donate it…. take the heat, and live clutter free for a while. It will happen again and again. Once in a while I let or ask my daughter who is very organized to purge for me. I leave the house when she does it and do NOT ask what she threw out. Sometimes I NEED something she trashed and ask if it is really gone. Then I buy another bracket or whatever tor $5. It is very hard to not dig through those cans on Monday (trash day) but I don’t and am much better off.
Dee says
Dee, My grandmother is a hoarder. We call her a “clean hoarder”, but the level of clutter in her house is truly overwhelming. The only time we succeeded in getting *some* order in the main rooms was when four of us kids were given free-range and a case of 55gal trash bags. We tossed an entire bag of medical records for a long-deceased great grandmother, 1980s bank statements and probably 500 catalogues!
Maegen says
I Absolutely agree with you. And I actually took what you mentioned about your husband and cooking and used it myself. If I waiting for something to be heated up I will clean up the dishes and counters as I go. So thank you!