Years ago, while scrolling through Facebook, I read something posted by Sarah Peck. And I’ve never forgotten it.
Sarah is one of the most encouraging people I know online and she always makes me smile. Her post was a simple, life-changing thought:
“Facebook ‘likes’ are free. It doesn’t cost you anything to hand them out. So go for it.”
Sarah was offering a quick commentary on how we use Facebook. It doesn’t cost anything to click “like” on somebody’s photo, status update, or new Group page. So do it. I mean, why not? Be an encouragement to someone by clicking the like button (and now the “love” or “wow” button). You’re already scrolling through Facebook anyway.
Her simple post changed how I use Facebook. I used to just scroll and scan, but now I click “like.” It’s a simple way to tell somebody that you noticed them. The same principle applies to Instagram and Twitter and Snapchat and Youtube.
It also applies to podcasts and books and apps. In fact, one of the most important things you can do for a podcaster, author, or app developer is leave a positive review on their product. That’s why, if you interact at all online, you have almost certainly been asked to leave a review. Those are important—and again, totally free to hand out.
If you enjoy a podcast or new app, leave a positive review. If you read a good book, leave a 5-star review on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. If you read a blog post, leave a comment or share it. These simple actions cost nothing, take only seconds to complete, and provide valuable encouragement to the author/creator. It’s a simple act with a huge impact.
And in an Internet world with so much negativity, shouldn’t we be passing out as much positivity as possible? (tweet that)
Of course, Sarah’s advice extends far beyond social media. Perhaps, even more importantly, her thoughts extend to our in-person relationships as well.
Compliments are free. It costs us literally nothing to use kind words. So why not use them as much as possible?
It’s nice to receive long, thoughtful, drawn-out compliments, but not every kind word needs to be this way. Sometimes just one short sentence can be enough to change the entire course of somebody’s day:
- “You did a good job.”
- “It’s nice to see you.”
- “That’s really funny.”
- “You are so thoughtful.”
- “You are one of the kindest people I know.”
- “I’m glad I get to work with you.”
- “You look really nice today.”
- “You always brighten my day.”
- “I’m proud of you son.”
Each of these compliments take only seconds. And they don’t cost anything to hand out. So just go for it.
In a world full of negativity, everybody can use a little more positivity in their lives.
Besides, you are a beautiful person. And a compliment from you would mean more than you know.
About Joshua Becker
Thankyou 😊 …. This post will certainly change the way I use social media. It made my days .,
Keep up the good work
Thanks for sharing. Very good reminder!
Seems like a good post for me to say thank you to you: I’ve enjoyed your blog since discovering it several months ago. I have been encouraged and have enjoyed thinking through many topics and ideas you share. Thank you for proposing new ways to think and to live. Your posts and guest posts have challenged and encouraged me. Many thanks.
Every evening when I say goodnight to my son, I leave him with the words “I am so lucky God chose me to be your mom”. He always closes his eyes with a smile. I believe compliments and saying positive things to your children, family and even strangers you have never met needs to be said daily – they must however be genuine.
thank you
That is so true, if you already spend so much time on Social Media, why would you just notice everything but ignore it at the same time… While I’m not hunting for likes, of course, I press the Like-Button on other peoples’ pictures or quotes more often now because I think it’s so easy.
Funny thing about compliments or nice words though: I adopted the habit of wishing cashiers and the like a nice day because for some reason, here in Germany, it’s not that common (noticed that because they look at me like I’m crazy at first, then they’re kind of happy). We should include more kindness in different ways in our daily lives!
Greets!
I’m new to the blog, via Pete Dunn’s podcast. The initial message has convinced me to buy thr book, so nice job! I’m very curious to see if the book can identify good starting points and chart a path to minimalism – and how to deal with a spouse who’s a packrat.
Hey Joshua, you did a good job.
I believe in complimenting people on facebook and face-to-face. I’ve complimented (very sincerely) perfect strangers in the grocery store on how they looked or something they did. Often I see them a little later and see that they are still smiling. A sincere compliment is a free gift to a friend or to a stranger.
I have done the same thing and the response ranges from very happy to them looking at me like I am about to rob them. It is sad to that people hear a compliment and their first thought is that the person has bad intentions.
I guess that is America in 2016
I try to do they same, I’ll compliment them on a pr of shoes I think are really nice, or their hair, clothing anything. It always brings a smile and a thank you and I swear A lighter step as they walk away. I ALWAYS THANK my cashier and wish them a good day, some will say
“ I needed that”
Thank you Joshua and the Becoming Minimalist team. I’m going to ‘like’ it forward and spread this happiness bug.
What a great first visit to your site. Thank you.
It is nice to hear compliments from others but only when they are sincere and authentic ones. There are people abusing empty compliments to be kind and polite as they are free. I was misled by those and thought they really liked me. When I found that their nice words really meant nothing special I was hurt.
Yes, giving out free compliments is easy and will make people smile for a moment but what if that doesn’t mean anything? I hate people saying kind words to everyone too often to be just nice. It is actully meaningless. HOW CHEAP WORDS THEY ARE?
I like it
I think about connection a lot. And I think about how social media has changed how we connect. Since I’m pretty sure social media isn’t going anywhere, I think about how social media has in many ways enabled connection. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on reaching out to others via SM, I think it is important to do so in a genuine way.
big fan of your blog!
Thanks for sharing.
Yes, in our family we call it spreading kindness. I think it’s so important to tell people thank you and that we appreciate them. A simple acknowledgement doesn’t have to take a lot of effort, but it can mean a lot to the person who receives it.
Thank you, Josh. :-)
I really love the message here–positivity breeds positivity.
My only concern is with passively “liking” something on social media. In my opinion, social media is meant for interaction. Commenting is fantastic, but to me “liking” something is just saying, “yep, I saw it.” rather than truly trying to interact with a person. I forced myself to stop “liking” things, and it has completely changed how I interact on social media. When I comment, it’s far more meaningful and intentional. Just a thought on how “liking” may not be the best method of showing positivity online.
Thanks for sharing. I enjoy and never skip over any of your posts- very good advise, always!
“I’m proud of you son.”
Awesome post Josh! Compliments are a great way to connect with others on a deeper level. Sharing a smile, joke, laughter, and memories are some excellent ways as well, but I believe compliments go hand-in-hand with active gratitude – taking inventory of the amazing qualities of the people around you and letting them know – that in itself is all the joy one can gain from it.
What a wonderful post! I completely agree with its message, and I give sincere (not contrived) compliments to people all of the time (I have always done this, even when I was little. I would notice something positive or special, and I would let the person know). It’s honest encouragement, so why not? We can all use a little encouragement now and then.
I’m a long time reader, but this post inspired me to comment for the first time to thank you for your uplifting blog! It has given me a lot of inspiration over the past 2 years.
Great reminder for the rest of ones life!
This is such a good reminder, it’s a wonderful habit to cultivate and a way of touching so many people. In the UK we tend to be so “closed” and self protective – it helps nobody.
Thank you for this – and wonderful blog!
A few years ago I noticed that the same people were always liking and commenting on my stuff and I started really liking those people, then I thought, why am I not that person? It actually makes me more happy day to day too. Also, thanks for calling me beautiful , that was sweet !
Joshua,
I think it’s easier to remember the kind words in real life. Not enough people follow through and offer a quick comment or a “like” when they come across something online that helps them or just makes them feel good. It is important. You never know when you might make someone’s day, and the positivity just keeps spreading. A simple, lovely post… Thank you.
You did a good job on this post. Thanks! :)
Thich Nhat Hanh discusses watering the seeds of positivity in another person in an effort to make these seeds grow and bloom. We all have these seeds in us. Sometimes they experience a drought, however.
It’s a lesson, much like what you share here (give compliments), that goes a very long way whether we realize it or not. For example, my wife has a very stressful job and likely receives secondary emotional trauma as a result. She is a counselor. I said to her this morning, you have a big heart. And yesterday, you eased someone’s suffering.
The seeds of negativity are constantly watered in our world. We must all make a point to water the seeds of positivity — in ourselves, in others.
I enjoyed this post.
Thank you for writing it.
Jeffrey, I give your wife a lot of credit. That must be rough—having to hear the details of someone’s pain and trauma. 4-sure she is making a difference in this world by easing the troubled hearts of others. It takes a special person to do that— I’m not sure I’d be able to “leave it at the office”. I have an over-abundant amount of empathy and I hurt deeply when others suffer, especially children. It cuts me to the core.
And her focus is children, too, from mostly impoverished neighborhoods in the city where we live. That’s the thing. Unless we live it, it’s hard to fathom what some children go through: violence in the home; physical, sexual, and verbal abuse et al. Homelessness. Foster care. No dinner, or at best, cereal for dinner.
A kind word and showing another you care goes farther than we think.
I understand that very well. When I hear of a child being hurt, it tears me apart. It’s greate to receive encouragement.
So, I am taking your advice because your article really blessed me today. Thank you! We forget these simple principles so easily. Thanks for the reminder!
Joshua. I have appreciated your blog for years now. I have never had that much clutter, except perhaps books. But your blog certainly helped me purge as I sorted through my mother’s possessions and made room for some of her stuff in my home. And your posts are oddly both relaxing and energizing to read! Thanks so much for being there for us.
Thank you! What an uplifting post!
I have been reading your blog for a couple of years now, and through your blog I have been led to several other blogs that I subscribe to. I have never left a comment on any of the blogs despite the fact that they have literally inspired me to change my life. I certainly think this is worth a genuine ” thank you” from me. This post has inspired me to act on my feelings and let you and the other minimalist bloggers that I follow know that I truly appreciate the work that you share with the world. You are great! Thank you!
That compliment makes it all worth it!
I love your emails, Joshua. I’ve subscribed to many bloggers, and your updates are one the few that I will almost always open and read thoroughly. Thank you for your words!
Me too
I am not on social media ( happily under the radar ) but in real life, for sure—uplift someone. Words are so powerful and comments can make or break a person—especially a child. This world is so filled with hate and negativity…why not spread the love!
I love your blog. My husband and I often share your emails with our family and friends. Thank you for making a difference in my life.
This is advice worth repeating. I’ve heard it called being a “day maker” as in you are making someone’s day. It’s something I try to teach my 9 year old son, but really it’s something we should all do.
i agree with this in principle on social media (i like your blog!) but in person i don’t feel it works.
my old boss used to overthank and overcompliment, which doesn’t sound like it should be a problem, but when you have had “amazing, you’re brilliant, thanks so much” for booking a meeting room or making a cup of tea, it’s hard to feel appreciated when you have spent hours slaving over a presentation to get anything less, or to handle the criticism however constructive and well meant. perhaps that is my issue and not his, however it felt a lot less genuine than he probably intended.
Haha I know what you mean. Sometimes it feels like your boss read a how to handbook for employees, and some how forgot how to be a real person.
I “like” your Blog. Thank you for sharing :)
While I agree on giving comments Facebook and all social media is a waste of time away from the things in life that really matter, like the people around us that are real and not fake friends.
Thanks for the comment Curtis. But I’d disagree with your assertion that social media is a waste of time. Some of my best friends in real life were introduced to me on social media. As with almost everything, it’s how you use it.
Hi Joshua,
I am an ardent fan of yours! I like the way you write and inspire people. I started simplifying my life and household without reading any advice from internet. But soon I reached a point where I couldn’t find motivation to continue what I was doing. Wondering whether what I am doing is so foolish, I tried to read up on the subject and reached your site. It has kept me going. Thank you for the wonderful insights. Now you have inspired me to share my thoughts also. Even though it is not my habit to comment on others’ viewpoints, I would try to do that from now on. As you say, if it makes one person’s day better, then why not?!
Thanks again for your effort and keep motivating :)
These are my thoughts too but I am not good at writing anf composing.
Thanks Simi for doing it for me.
My husband has introduced me to the minimalist idea and we are now in the process of making our lives simpler. One of the things we have always done is to tell our children and friends that we love them and that we appreciate them. This act has been so important to me since I come from a background of physical, emotional and psychological abuse throughout my childhood and teenage years, where even the simplest kindness of others meant the world.
I have come to think that one of the simplest kindnesses we can do for ourself is to step out of the buying, owning, hoarding culture that makes us so insular and dulls our social conscience.