Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Dan Erickson.
I grew up poor. My family had little money. My dad was the pastor of a small-town church and my mom was a stay-home mom. We didn’t go hungry, but we didn’t have an abundance either. I remember wearing hand-me-downs and relying on the government food bank.
Later, as a young adult, I worked in fast food and retail. I lived in trailers and studio apartments. I walked and rode a bike as my primary modes of transportation. Although my life wasn’t bad, I thought I was missing something. There had to be more.
So at the age of 30, I went back to school and earned a few degrees. I started making more money. I started buying more stuff. Life was good. A 2000-square-foot house and three cars in the driveway was living proof. Or so I thought.
But sometimes the dream is an illusion. The more stuff I bought, the more tied down I became.
With more purchases comes more responsibility. A big house, three cars, and expensive furnishings come with a price and that price is more than money. It includes your time, your energy, even your heart and soul.
Surprisingly, the bigger my paycheck, the deeper my debt became. The deeper the debt, the more time I spent working. That meant less time for my loved ones, my friends, and my hobbies. After years of upward mobility, I began to realize accumulation wasn’t the answer either.
I found myself beginning to long for simplicity. But also rejecting the notion of extremes.
On one hand, we have the unintentional consumer. Those pursuing happiness in the conspicuous consumption offered to them by their upward mobility. They rarely, if ever, question their buying habits. They desire bigger houses, faster cars, fancier furnishings, and all the comforts, luxuries, and entertainment that money can buy.
They love to tell you about their latest conquests in the material world. They live to impress through their stuff. They’re willing to work harder to get more. Often times, at the expense of their time and relationships.
On the other hand, you have complete austerity. Sometimes, in an effort to discover happiness, we overdue minimalism. We disregard simple comforts. Or we view possessions or riches as inherently evil. This way of life may be less common in our consumer-based society. But I can tell you from personal experience, it is also not the fast train to happiness.
Minimalism, at its best, is about finding what’s best for you. It’s about asking before you buy, asking before you give away, choosing to dedicate your time and money to the things that matter most, and eliminating the distraction of clutter.
To better decipher if it’s time to let something go, here are five questions:
How long has the thing gone unused? When it comes to material stuff, we tend to hold onto things after they’ve served their purpose. Most generally, if something hasn’t been used in six months, it will probably never be needed again. There are some exceptions for seasonal items, but this question is a good place to start.
Does the item create stress? It might not be possible to eliminate all stress from our lives, but letting go of certain things can greatly reduce your stress levels. If you keep banging your shin on the coffee table, let it go. If the thought of cleaning out your basement causes anxiety, it probably means you should.
Would your life be simpler without it? Everything we own costs money and takes up time or space. Life is infinitely simpler with less. So be honest with yourself and you might find that you’d be better off by letting go of things that hinder your finances, space, or time.
Are you holding onto something just because you think you should? Often we keep sentimental items because we think we have to. Or we stay in unhealthy relationships because we don’t want to hurt the other person. There are times we need to put ourselves first.
Could someone else use it more than you? I go through my belongings several times a year. When I find things I no longer need, I consider others who might need the item. If I know someone personally, I’ll ask them. Otherwise, I donate my stuff to a local charity. This helps you to declutter and you help others at the same time.
The easiest way to let things go is to understand that nothing we own makes us who we are. Be critical of how much you really need. In that balance, you’ll remain more at peace with your decisions in the long run.
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Dan Erickson blogs at Hip Diggs as an advocate of minimalism, small living, and self-sufficiency.
Hi Dan. I enjoyed the article. I have an aunt who has “too much stuff.” I asked her jokingly, “What if you had to take inventory of all your things?” I got to thinking about that and I need to ask myself that sometimes. Another idea, I once did an “exercise” and had myself write a list of 50 things I really needed to live and run a home. Forty things was easy but I had to think hard to come up with the last 10. I use that list as a standard when I start getting too many things and want to eliminate some. Michelle from Near Memphis
Dan, very nice points. I will reach you out at your blog. Loved it.
@Joshua: thanks for inviting Dan to write this one.
Thank you, Benjamin. I look forward to hearing more from you in the future.
What a brilliant piece! Interesting to hear how when you earned more money, you spent more. Similarly, as soon as I my debit card I spent like crazy!
http://www.flareaforte.com
The more money people make, the more debt they often create.
Dan: Agree with all this, much can be donated in my area to several group homes, church missions, low income elderly housing, and city rescue mission. I have been reading articles on your website all last evening, kept TV off. Kitchen and clothing are most common decluttering projects several times a year. extra dishes, cooking gadgets, cookware, linens, etc. not used are always needed for group homes.
That’s great, Laura. I have a big winter coat I usually don’t use. Next winter I may just give it to a homeless person.
I love this. I am going to start asking myself these questions. Thank you.
You’re welcome. Questioning our own actions is key to living simply.
So true. I’ve been clearing out and it feels great! It’s amazing how good I feel…I have a lot more energy :)
I realize now that the excess was weighing me down both physically and emotionally.
I think it can weigh us down more emotionally than physically in the long run.
I heard about the 3 R strategy for goal setting that i think kind of applies to situations like these. Its a three step progression that I tried and have found it to be actually helpful when evaluating whether or not to let something go (possession or goal)
Recommit – Lost touch with the reason of the object/goal in the first place. Are my reasons for having it worth it?
Revise – Things change so do your thoughts. Maybe you could put systems in place to limit times of use or change your relationship with it (ex. I only use my cell phone between 7-8pm)
Remove – If it is making you miserable, get rid of it! Trade something out if you really feel it would be necessary
Thanks for sharing!
I love that three R process. Thanks for sharing that.
These are nice questions to ask yourself especially if you are in the process of decluttering your home and life. We tend to accumulate so many things that we don’t really need. It is important to be brutal on how we look at what we have for we pay space for them and time to maintain them.
I believe that questioning ourselves and our motives leads to more understanding and freedom in the long run.
I have inherited family “heirlooms” that I did not need or want – some were of no use, others were something I didn’t need and wouldn’t use. I gave them away to a charity store. I like to think of someone walking down an aisle filled with my clutter, spying a treasure (to them) and getting a thrill from finding something they love for a small price. It helps the charity and makes it easier to drop off my castaways!
They say one person’s trash in another’s treasure. I only keep a few family heirlooms around. Small ones at that.
I’m envious Dawn.. I have everything from my mom and 2 grandmoms. I feel
So beholden to these items and I don’t truly want or need most. They take up every available bit of storage space I have. Wishing I could let them go like you.
Jen, do you seriously see yourself using any of those things? What if you said to yourself, “Jen, I will keep five things from each grandmother and my mom, and I will release everything els to bless others.”? Do you think you could do that? Or even start with 10 things from each person. I am not sure how much you have, but it totally sounds overwhelming. The other thing to consider is that whoever has to clean out from when you leave this earth may be cursing you instead of blessing you when going through it all. Just because someone close to you gave you many things does not mean you have to keep them all. Being overwhelmed and storing stuff you truly don’t see yourself needing is not a kind thing from them. Ask yourself, too, why you feel the need to keep it all. Do you think they will/would be upset if you didn’t? If so, realize that we may never live up to everyone else’s expectations, but having room to breathe in your own home is priceless. I feel your pain, girl. I hope you can overcome this and truly do what you need to do, whatever that is. Hugs!!
I had to move out west and could only take what would fit in my car. Now I realize how much memories I have of my loved ones. I can remember better times then seeing their stuff every day and being reminded that their gone. Very enlightning.
You will find new freedom to fulfill your book of Life. Psalm 139:16
After the funeral I brought all her things home, after 30 days I
was not going to use any of it
and invested it in others need.
How freeing to become the eagle God made me to be.
So good! I love the questions you posed. A new perspective to add.
Thanks for your gift of writing and inspiration!
Thanks you Joanna. I think questions are always good. They help us to really begin to see what’s important.