Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Dan Erickson.
I grew up poor. My family had little money. My dad was the pastor of a small-town church and my mom was a stay-home mom. We didn’t go hungry, but we didn’t have an abundance either. I remember wearing hand-me-downs and relying on the government food bank.
Later, as a young adult, I worked in fast food and retail. I lived in trailers and studio apartments. I walked and rode a bike as my primary modes of transportation. Although my life wasn’t bad, I thought I was missing something. There had to be more.
So at the age of 30, I went back to school and earned a few degrees. I started making more money. I started buying more stuff. Life was good. A 2000-square-foot house and three cars in the driveway was living proof. Or so I thought.
But sometimes the dream is an illusion. The more stuff I bought, the more tied down I became.
With more purchases comes more responsibility. A big house, three cars, and expensive furnishings come with a price and that price is more than money. It includes your time, your energy, even your heart and soul.
Surprisingly, the bigger my paycheck, the deeper my debt became. The deeper the debt, the more time I spent working. That meant less time for my loved ones, my friends, and my hobbies. After years of upward mobility, I began to realize accumulation wasn’t the answer either.
I found myself beginning to long for simplicity. But also rejecting the notion of extremes.
On one hand, we have the unintentional consumer. Those pursuing happiness in the conspicuous consumption offered to them by their upward mobility. They rarely, if ever, question their buying habits. They desire bigger houses, faster cars, fancier furnishings, and all the comforts, luxuries, and entertainment that money can buy.
They love to tell you about their latest conquests in the material world. They live to impress through their stuff. They’re willing to work harder to get more. Often times, at the expense of their time and relationships.
On the other hand, you have complete austerity. Sometimes, in an effort to discover happiness, we overdue minimalism. We disregard simple comforts. Or we view possessions or riches as inherently evil. This way of life may be less common in our consumer-based society. But I can tell you from personal experience, it is also not the fast train to happiness.
Minimalism, at its best, is about finding what’s best for you. It’s about asking before you buy, asking before you give away, choosing to dedicate your time and money to the things that matter most, and eliminating the distraction of clutter.
To better decipher if it’s time to let something go, here are five questions:
How long has the thing gone unused? When it comes to material stuff, we tend to hold onto things after they’ve served their purpose. Most generally, if something hasn’t been used in six months, it will probably never be needed again. There are some exceptions for seasonal items, but this question is a good place to start.
Does the item create stress? It might not be possible to eliminate all stress from our lives, but letting go of certain things can greatly reduce your stress levels. If you keep banging your shin on the coffee table, let it go. If the thought of cleaning out your basement causes anxiety, it probably means you should.
Would your life be simpler without it? Everything we own costs money and takes up time or space. Life is infinitely simpler with less. So be honest with yourself and you might find that you’d be better off by letting go of things that hinder your finances, space, or time.
Are you holding onto something just because you think you should? Often we keep sentimental items because we think we have to. Or we stay in unhealthy relationships because we don’t want to hurt the other person. There are times we need to put ourselves first.
Could someone else use it more than you? I go through my belongings several times a year. When I find things I no longer need, I consider others who might need the item. If I know someone personally, I’ll ask them. Otherwise, I donate my stuff to a local charity. This helps you to declutter and you help others at the same time.
The easiest way to let things go is to understand that nothing we own makes us who we are. Be critical of how much you really need. In that balance, you’ll remain more at peace with your decisions in the long run.
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Dan Erickson blogs at Hip Diggs as an advocate of minimalism, small living, and self-sufficiency.
When I’m helping someone declutter/minimize, I ask ‘if you lost it tomorrow in a fire, would you replace it?” It helps them determine how important it really is to them.
Hello
I am trying to declutter my home, hoping to then have more free time, spending less time worrying about stuff I’ve accumulated. Does anyone else find that when you give/throw something away 2/3 weeks later you need it? Even if it’s sat about for month/years. Any ideas would be fantastic.
If I’m not sure about something, after I’ve asked myself all the above questions, I next ask myself how much it would be to replace it. If it’s $10 or under, I almost always bless someone else with it. If it’s $20 or under, I most likely would bless someone else. Hanging onto all the “what-ifs” is a lot of what kept me stuck, spinning my wheels, with no real tangible “end” in sight for oh almost 2 years now that I’ve been on this journey. Obviously, it’s a permanent lifestyle change. A permanent mindset change. So no true “end”. My goal was simply to get to where I wasn’t spending all day every day “purging my crap”. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned on this journey so far, guilt, regret, & anxiety (what if) aren’t the right reasons to hold onto something. Be gentle & kind with yourself. You’re learning. You’re growing. Letting go isn’t always easy. But I promise it’s oh so worth it. Keep going!You’re doing great, promise!
Silver Lining – I am exactly where you are. Your last lines are very uplifting. Great insights. Bits by bits, day by day and one tasks at a time is what I have 2learned. When ” I spend my day “purging my crap””, I tend to clear my mind putting a side what I do for a while, and coming back to it later with a fresher way of seeing the situation and doing. For me, it’s usually walking 5-7 laps by the lake nearby and away from the bed ;0). Am I procrastinating? Oh well, I have already started to de-clutter half of my rooms and many more’s to come. Th’ats the way learning.
Yes! This happened to me a. lot. at first. Eventually I realized I can be creative and find another tool or clothing item. I remind myself if I want less, then I cant have everything nor will I always have the perfect thing.
I put the things in a box away for charity. I wait a few months, if I haven’t thought about it, looked for it, or needed it, I donate it. Same with clothes. Put them in a green bag, put the bag away to donate, wait. I used to hold garage sales, so it would accumulate until there was so much, then I would have the sale. If I made $100 I was happy, but what about the time it took to do the sale, what about the room it took to store the items, not worth it. Now I donate and feel good for letting go.
I think these books can contribute in the fight against uncontrolled and distroying consumption. It coud even minimize the Exploration of our world.
I usually take off my worries – and get better at it- as I tell myself that I am doing three things a day to the ne t and set three more things after I completed them ; throw pots and pans , washing car, mowing …and I finish a knitted shawl that took me four months to do it. So that I have less to think about . So far I did it pretty nicely.
This applies to relationships too…..
On another note, appreciate the wisdom of knowing that your more “affulent ” lifestyle did not bring the happiness most think it will. It is a downward spiral instead of upward one! Thank you for sharing!
Agree with all this, much can be donated in my area to several group homes, church missions, low income elderly housing, and city rescue mission. I have been reading articles on your website all last evening, kept TV off. Kitchen and clothing are most common decluttering projects several times a year. extra dishes, cooking gadgets, cookware, linens, etc. not used are always needed for group homes
I am trying to declutter my home, hoping to then have more free time, spending less time worrying about stuff I’ve accumulated. Does anyone else find that when you give/throw something away 2/3 weeks later you need it? Even if it’s sat about for month/years. Any ideas would be fantastic.
I read about this. If you’ve had something for years and never used it so you get rid of it only to find a month later you could use it, don’t fret. Its a rare occurrence. But chances are you can figure out another way to handle that ” “surprise need” or likely someone we know will have one we can borrow, at the very worst we may have to repurchase but again that’s rare. Its hard for me with baking dishes and winter clothing that only gets used when I travel but I’ve decided to make do with the items I decide to keep and donate the rest. ?
I recently discovered that all of this applies to ‘digital things’ as well. I lost my laptop computer when it got exposed to a little too much winter rain where I live (it went right through the rucksack). When I came back home it wouldn’t start and has all but died. I wondered for a long time if I should pay someone to save the hard disk where I had stored all my movies and music (the work files were backupped in the cloud, of course). But in the end I decided not to.
We’re in a process of clearing out our small 2-room apartment anyway, because we’re going to have our first child come April or May, and it has been a rather liberating and daunting process to say the least of throwing out lots – lots more than we ever imagined we could want to throw out – or giving it away. Such as old CDs and DVDs. When about 75 per cent of the latter went, I felt no regret. Many of them I had not watched/listened to in years and I felt confident I could find them again if I wanted to. This is the age of the Internet after all, for all the good and bad things that comes with it.
Then I wondered about my digital collection and why I felt okay about dumping that, too? It turns out, I believe, that it represented – somehow – just more ‘clutter’ in my mind, as with the physical collection. Much of the collection, again, I had not perused in years. I just collected it, because it was easy and I was afraid that I might ‘miss something’. Or whatever. So now that is gone too, and I feel much more relieved, even though it won’t create an inch of physical squarespace more for our baby.
It is very strange, but ultimately it was a positive experience. I was forced to throw this out, not going through the choices and reflections mentioned in this good blog post. They only came to me in retrospect. And I knew they right thing had happened. Next time, though, I’ll make the conscious choice first – before I get surprised by the rain :-)
Great share! ?
So relevant and helpful are your comments. Most impactful and inspiring to me is your point of even cleaning up online/digital storage offline etc. It may not take up space physically, but clutter is clutter, and to me that is one huge distraction that just like the others, I can live without. In fact, live a lot better without.
I have been trying for a long time to get out from underneath all of my “stuff” that I have been obtaining and keeping for years without getting rid of anything. Although I have been making very slow progress, I have done quite a lot…with tons more to go! I sometimes think of what I need to do, but don’t seem to have the energy to do it. Or there seems to be a mental block that keeps cropping up to keep me from doing what I need to. I am going to try using your questions as a guideline. Thank you for sharing them with those of us who need them.
I have had to downsize 4 times in the past 6 years, from a house to 2 other places and now to a small apartment. I rid myself of many items but am still struggling and overwhelmed by my stuff. For me it is mostly the thought that “I might need it someday”. One thing I feel I have control of is spending, trying to ask myself if I really need it. I found an old saying useful, it is: Use it up, wear it out, make do,
do without. And I will add to that my own ending: give it away.