Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Claire Wilde.
Embracing simplicity: the idea just sounds so good, doesn’t it? Can’t you just feel those tense shoulders loosening at the thought?
So many people feel overwhelmed, overworked, and overloaded, often living in homes which are overfilled… yearning for a simpler way to live.
A couple of years ago, I too was crying out for simplicity in my life, my bank balance, my schedule, my mind, and most definitely my home. I had somehow accrued a lot of consumer debt through a spending habit which never brought me happiness.
Becoming Minimalist and a handful of other sites inspired me to make some big changes, which in the end, came easier than I had thought.
First, I stopped buying things I didn’t need. It was a transformation. The stream of gadgets and trinkets coming into my life dried up. Sure enough, my thirst for new toys soon dried up along with it.
This in turn allowed me to simplify my money. I began spending less than I made. Whereas once I was drowning in debt, now I am surfacing. Soon I’ll be breathing again.
Then, once I had asked myself how I could be a more responsible consumer, I started asking myself how else I might be a better and happier person. Where I had been prone to envy, too often comparing myself with others, my focus gradually began to shift. Of course, I’m not magically immune from jealousy now, but at least I recognize it when it does rear its ugly head.
Simplicity has also allowed me to rethink and readjust the way I spend my time. Much of this has been easy, like selling all my computer games and rediscovering the simple pleasure of curling up with a book.
But there’s no doubt about it, I have found one aspect of simplifying very, very hard: drastically reducing the number of possessions I already own.
I have gone from having far too many things, to having a few too many things. This alone has taken more than two years, and I have to confess to feeling frustrated at times with my slow progress.
It was easy at first: gathering up a box of unwanted belongings gave me a thrill each and every time. But then, out of nowhere, I hit a wall. And I’ve been struggling to push through it ever since.
I’ve removed a third of my belongings. But I still own neglected nineties CDs and reference books I never use. I think I have not one, but two dead laptops haunting me. And I definitely have a lava lamp with no bulb, in a box somewhere.
I recently decided to start over, and now after a period of reflection and inspiration, I’m fired up and ready once again to dig deeper, go further, do better.
If you want to declutter your home but have ever felt frustration or disappointment with a lack of progress, know that you are not alone and it’s okay. While some people feel able to jettison all their stuff overnight, others will take their time.
Here are eight ideas for when you’re struggling to declutter:
1. Take things one step at a time.
If you are struggling with overwhelm, concentrate on one room, one piece of storage, or even one shelf at a time—especially if the job as a whole seems insurmountable. Your speed doesn’t matter, a step forward is still a step forward.
2. Find your people.
Online support can be a huge help, but there is nothing like meeting up face-to-face with other people who are pursuing simplicity. Depending on your immediate surroundings, this may or may not be easy to do. But the more you share your story of the change you are trying to make, the more people you will find drawn to it.
3. Take before-and-after photos.
Often times, being able to see the progress you have already made is helpful —especially if we start to feel frustrated during the process.
4. Do half-a-job (at least for now).
So you still have, let’s say, a vintage teddy bear collection and you’re afraid to say goodbye to it completely. Could you let go of half of them? This strategy can be particularly helpful for some of those hard-to-remove items (books, sentimental collections, souvenirs, hobby stuff).
5. Inject some fun into the process.
There are loads of decluttering games you can play. I came up with one called the five-in-five challenge: can you find five items you don’t want in just five minutes? You could even challenge your whole household to compete against each other. Or check out some of these decluttering tips.
6. Quarantine your belongings.
Try boxing up items you fear you might need one day, and hide them away for a set period of time before letting them go. If there’s anything in there you truly do need, you’ll realize before you’ve given it away.
7. Work out your weak-points.
What have you found easy to declutter, and what have you found hard? Why is that? Perhaps you worry you’d later regret saying goodbye to sentimental trinkets or just-in-case items? Maybe giving away expensive toys is a painful reminder of what little value they gave you? Perhaps your conscience stops you from tossing items you can’t recycle? Whatever the hurdle is, there will be a way around it. It may take more time and self-reflection than other areas in your home, but don’t fear the process—it’s always beneficial in the long-run.
8. Practice self-compassion.
Don’t beat yourself up if you’re not seeing instant results. You might take a while to get to where you need to be. That’s okay. If you’re bringing less into your home than you are sending out, you’re decluttering. You’re heading to the same destination, you’re just taking a little longer to get there.
Additional Resources:
Those are great ideas Claire. Sometimes one step forward is one step forward. I like this. No matter what. Decluttering is hard work.
This is exactly what I need now thank you ?
I love #3. I have a friend who loves to receive photos of my disastrous home. Then I clean up and send a fresh photo. Proof positive!
Hi I’m really struggling with decluttering a bedroom, my mum recently passed away, so a lot are things that were hers. It seems to go from bad to worse. It is my daughters old room. But worse than when she lived here. It seems everywhere I look I have piles of stuff that are annoying me. But all I do is move stuff around in an attempt to tidy up. I do have a lot of bags of clothes to give to charity. But it’s seems like a drop in the ocean.
Can you tackle one pile today? And another pile tomorrow? Breaking up the task this way will make it more manageable. Don’t move anything around. Unless you take a pile to the kitchen table and commit to go thru it right away. Or put it on the bed and go thru it. Flylady.org has some good tips too. You need one container for “put away”, another for “throw away”, one for “give away” and another for “recycle” if you like. Keep them beside you while you sort thru today’s pile. I have piles of paperwork here, why I printed some stuff I have no idea. I tackle it a bit at a time. I’ve been working on it for quite awhile now, months, but slowly but surely papers are being sorted, filed, shredded or recycled.
I’m trying this system. I have a small goal. I hope I make it through, but even if I don’t, some progress is some progress… I don’t beat myself up. I just reset the goal, and move on to start again tomorrow. I’m committed to not giving up, and not worrying how long it is going to take!
if you look at something and your first thought is, “oh, that thing. still in my house, and here i am looking at it, again”, then it’s a burden, not a joy. time to get rid of it.
Excellent post! Item #2 is incredibly important! This is why I started a free declutter support group! To keep me accountable and on my toes while I build habits ??
I have another problem. I can I identify what I nolonger need and sure want to let it go, but I hesitate to put it into the trash box. I think I can give it to someone which can reuse them, for example the kids old clothes. But I cannot find those people so the progress is unacceptable slow.
Search your area for support groups, shelters, second hand stores. Those are good places to start. Ask on Facebook for friends who might know something.
Love it! This is exactly where I am. I’ve gotten rid of the things that were easy (and it gave me such joy!) but progress has significantly slowed. I think 4 will be very helpful
You can do it Alizee! I believe in you.
Thank you for sharing these best tips. For me I like point #8
The last one “practice self compassion” really stuck with me. Going to meditate on this one for the rest of the year. Great post.
As for me, I use the ‘one drawer’ philosophy. It worked. All I need is just 5 minutes a day to tackle a drawer and I find that I can easily declutter a room in a month.
Truly the best tips on this subject I’ve ever read. Obviously you’ve given this a lot of thought—and action. Thanks for passing your wisdom along!
I absolutely love all the tips & info.
I especially love #4. I was reluctant about downsizing my childhood toys but I eliminated about half in the beginning and every few weeks I eliminate a few more. I look at stuff and ask myself, why am I keeping it? And then out it goes! My son and daughter in law want a few items to keep so they may pass them onto their children, when they start their family. :)
Awesome post Claire! (as always) :)
I think your before and after photos tip is a brilliant idea! People use it all the time to inspire weight-loss and other fitness goals, so why not use it for decluttering as well, right?!
I remember how blown away I was when I saw the before and after pic of your living-room!
Amazing what PhotoShop will do, isn’t it! ;-)
I have a friend who I always send my before photos too and gives me great pleasure to send her my after photos once completed.
Keeps me motivated to finish it off!!!!
It’s a beautiful new day! :)
I really like that Joshua posts articles from other sites for us to read. It gives me a chance to explore other people’s writings that I don’t know about. I have since subscribed to Claire’s blog, I am enjoying her sense of humor as she figures out the minimalist lifestyle.
Thanks Jill, very kind of you to say! :-) You’d be very welcome
Where do we find your blog???
i have been decluttering for 15years and i took somethings to the charity shop and the guy said , see you soon, i replied no you wont because i have stopped buying and am trying to use what i already have, donating 70% has finally taught me i can manage on far less than i think and less makes life easier, i clean faster, save more, i can put things away in there rightful place but i just am appalled by my waste and debt and constant donating, i really need to wake up and stop making the same mistakes , thanks for your encouraging advice love Jacqueline xxx
These are really good tips. Thanks fro sharing.
I like #4 and #8 most. I’ve always tended to do things in sections so #4 caters to that idea. And #8 is just life. If you get too caught up with perfection we’ll always fall short.
My husband and I have been married 37 years. It took almost 30 years to accumulate too much stuff. It’s taken almost ten years to get to the point that I can see the light at the end of the mostly decluttered tunnel, lol! Some people can declutter in one fell swoop. I envy that. I can’t do it. I have to take it in stages, stop when decision fatigue sets in and remember to pat myself on the back for what I did accomplish instead of beating myself up over what I didn’t manage to do. I’ve probably gone through every room in my house, the attic and the outbuilding at least ten times each. Each time I get rid of things that I’m sure that I don’t want any more and keep the things that I’m sure I can’t part with. Funny thing is, when I go back through the same stuff a year later I find that, miraculously, a bunch of the stuff I couldn’t bear to part with the previous year has become “meh” and I can let it go this time. I think that I have to get used to having less after I have a decluttering session. Then at some point, after I’ve become accustomed to how my home feels with less stuff and more space, it starts to feel like too much again even though I haven’t added anything back in. Then I go into decluttering mode once more and the cycle repeats itself. The time between decluttering sessions allows me the space that I need to emotionally detatch from yet more things. It’s been a long process but it’s worked for my personality, mindset and anxiety levels!
This post helped me to see some things differently thank you I look forward to doing more! I have been able to let go of alot of books with access to the web and Google you can find out how to do anything on there and YouTube!
For me and my family #6 quarantine is just… magical. It helps to make the decision with things we aren’t sure: keep or give away. Sometimes our minds want this kind of proof that we really haven’t used an item for a long period.
I read somewhere that if you haven’t used something in a year, you probably don’t need to keep it …
And on another thought, I have drawers full of supplies. Office supplies, electrical repair stuff, household general repair stuff. But I honestly couldn’t say all that’s in there and I find myself at the hardware store buying things anyway because it’s just easier. Time to go thru those drawers!
I love the decluttering process – so much that I often offer to help others. However, the things I get stuck on are clothes that are not in good condition, but I still wear. I don’t want to spend the money to buy new clothes, but at some point I definitely should!
Also, wondering if anyone else has suggestions for old journals. I have kept a journal for year – they take up so much space and I never read them. I’m thinking of sorting through and scanning any pages that are meaningful to save them digitally, but this is a LOT of work.
I’ll be selling my house and moving to an apartment, and though getting rid of stuff doesn’t affect me psychologically — I have changed country more than once and I actually enjoy starting over — the sheer amount of work seemed overwhelming.
My strategy has consisted of hiring a cleaning lady for two hours a week. Together we have been spending most of that time going over every single item in my house. What’s great is she’s not attached to anything, so if I say “throw it away”, she doesn’t question my decision! She also has a great personality and I enjoy her company. I shall miss her when the job is done!
Trish, have you tried Marie Kondo’s technique? If your paintings spark joy for you, keep them and feel good about it. If not, thank them for the pleasure they gave you and your family in the past, and let them go. It’s a really liberating and simple technique which has helped me and lots of my friends.
I have Kondo’d my bedroom and closet, but didn’t realize I should do it with the paintings. Good point!
I tackled the paper work that needs filing! Ugh! I hate that! Shredded a lot, found maps from trips last year-recycled! Gathering all papers for the taxes. Made the CPA appointment, do now I have motivation! Physically, mentally, emotionally-I’m drained! I do exercise, eat mostly healthy- it’s just life that has me bogged down. Some of it is my commitments, which I’m reevaluating, to do less sometimes I think that the busyness of our life needs to be downsized also. Put my gym membership on hold for awhile and just walk and enjoy nature.
I’m pretty pared down, but I still try to go through my things once a month or so and take stock that I’m not accumulating things I don’t need. I definitely use the trick of packing something up that you are unsure of and then make a choice later on.
Also, I am just finding that as I get older (I’m 43), I don’t want any attachment to any one item. It is a very freeing feeling.
I really needed this today. We collected 3 large garbage bags of jeans and tops from 3X down and my husband even went through every single piece of his clothing with me yesterday on his day off. These are perfectly good clothes from places like LLBean and the only thing wrong is they don’t fit anymore!I have had a total hysterectomy and open heart surgery just 10 days later and everything is great now… no cancer and heart is doing well. My problem is after this weight loss, I am having a problem letting go of clothes just in case… but there can be no weight gain again….I do feel wasteful just giving them away…. but they are going tonight! I have sorted my kitchen and am ready to purge some more… didn’t miss a thing I got rid of the first time. We live in a 1000 sq. ft. home so simplifying has been a way of life forever… but as we approach retirement, I have a fear of not being able to maybe get something new if we miss it…. your articles help me keep on track and think straight! I have purged my kitchen once and going for the second round…it felt so freeing! I always purge my bathroom twice a year and check dates on meds and we try to do a “moving clean” once a year… everything out of the room like we are moving into a new home…. one of the blessings of a small house. My biggest challenge will be our basement where we have stored a few (too many) items that we could not part with quite yet…it has been a year so what we have not used will be offered to family members first and then donated. I don’t know why parting with the clothing is being so hard for me…. maybe scared I will gain my weight back if I get rid of them….I guess I just needed to say this and thank everyone for the support this site has offered me. When I get tired and sit for a glass of tea while working… I come to this site and get refreshed and back to work I go. Thanks!
I’m on this, trying, it’s a slow process.
Even though we moved just over a year ago, purged quite a bit, and probably have much less ‘stuff’ than many people our age (late 50s) we still moved a bunch of things from basement to basement.
It helps me to think about who might want, need, and use the things I have in boxes in the basement or hanging, unworn, in my closet.
This may sound dark but I also think about what a burden it would be for our kids to go through all our things if something happened to both of us. I went through that when my mama died in 2015, and it was brutal. I have friends that have gone through it, too.
So I think of needing and having less, of the neatness and simplicity of that, of giving things to folks that can use them NOW, and of making things easier for us and our kids. That is helping to motivate me.
Thanks for the great article!
I admire you! I wanted to share, my father in law had moved all of his mothers stuff to their basement after she passed and when we went through their house we also had to go through all of grandma’s stuff that he could not get rid of himself….I hope your kids will appreciate your thoughtfulness! We don’t have children so I am hoping our nieces and nephews will appreciate the things we share with them now and the fact that there won’t be too much for them to go through later. I really needed you post today as I am struggling to part with clothes after losing weight…. thanks!
Totally get this as my siblings and I had to do this when we lost each parent. Now I have inherited several tubs of family history. This is one of my biggest challenges, but I don’t want my younger brother and sister to have to deal with all this! I am now retired, but keep a busy schedule. Just need to commit time to delving in and deciding what is necessary to keep.
The items I’m trying hardest to get rid of (especially since we’re moving cross country soon) are painting I did back in high school in the 1980s. Technically, they’re very good, but they’re copies of posters, so originality is lacking.
I’ve never displayed these paintings (because I simply don’t want to), but carted them in a large box for nearly 30 years. They are a reminder of a hobby I gave up, of talent I should try to revive some year, of items lovingly framed by my now-gone parents, and they haunt me!
This article is helping me get closer to tossing those, but anyone have a thought-process I can use to finally be rid of these albatrosses?
Asia they are already framed and good quality, would there be places to donate them, to give joy to other people? Maybe some plain and boring waiting rooms or offices? If youtube donate them one by one, it proably doesn’t feel so dramatic.
Great idea!
Paint over them with something original. Maybe it’s time to revive your creative side again. However, take a picture. If you do paint over them but haven’t a home for them you might want to gift them.
I have taken the pictures of them, so yes–I should do that!
Trish, have you thought about taking photographs of your paintings, then donating them? If they can’t be sold since they are copies, an art teacher or an artist may be able to paint over them. A senior center that has an art class might also be able to reuse them this way. Photos would help you keep them without exactly keeping them – a lot less space! – and donating them might help you feel good about letting them go.
I agree–it’s time to let someone enjoy them, in whatever way they might, so I don’t have to carry this burden!
Do you have a favourite? Can you keep one and hang it in your home? Otherwise, I say give the lot to a second hand store, preferably a charity.
When I go about uncluttering, I try not to think only about the physical items in my life, but the emotional and intangible stuff as well. Clutter comes in all shapes and forms and learning how to manage the flow is perhaps the best step in learning how to declutter. Taking pictures of the process is a great idea, kind of like a weight loss plan!
At Downsizing Diva, we’ve been helping people downsize, organize and move for over 16 years.
At a recent Team Leader meeting, we created a list of 99 things we find most of the time when we are helping people downsize.
This list became our “Are you a SQUIRREL-er?” hand-out and “Laugh + Learn” presentation. We found that letting go of the stuff on this list (Articles to read, .Baby clothes, Bags of bags, Bars of soap, Batteries, Bedding, Belts, . Bibles, Body lotions, Boxes of boxes, Bread ties…) was a really good place to start downsizing!
We tell our clients that it is “easy for me to let go of your stuff, but when it comes to letting go of my own stuff…well, that’s a different story!”
When you get stuck, it might help to have a trusted and objective friend help. I know it worked for me!
I just commented to someone at Apartment Therapy on this very thing today. It’s easy for me to let go of your stuff. Give me half an hour and I’ll find a hundred or more things to let go of for you. But letting go of MY stuff? Totally different story! A half hour amongst my own stuff might find me with two things to put in the outbox…..and I’ll be on the fence about one of them!
I’ve done the quarantine for kids toys. Although I give it more than a day. =) After a month or two of them not missing a toy, it’s generally safe to take them to be donated. Over the last 2 years, we have reduced the number of kid toys by 50%. And now they only keep a few in their room or play area. They rest wait for their turn in our laundry room. I find, my kids play much better with just a few choices at a time.
I love your website to remind me to continue to clean up all aspects of my life. When I feel the roadblock beginning I start with a list, and complete with check offs.
I also find I have to pause and dive back into my clutter on another date, sometimes I will have better focus to totally get rid of it. The great satisfaction is leaving a new skeleton of a room that again needs to be organized. It is then I see the complete outcome of LESS. Oh how much easier is that room to snap up in a minute!
Thank you for this, Claire! It has come at a very good time. I have been feeling very overwhelmed trying to get my home to where I want it to be. I’m working on it though—and I know I’ll get there :)
I need to do before and after photos! Definitely motivating!
http://www.flareaforte.com
I downsized my art studio this year, consolidated my online websites and basically decided to simplify. Wow. What a great feeling to embrace less instead of more. The superfluous is the enemy of peaceful living!
I love the way you said that you went from having far too many things to a few too many things. I am at a similar point myself. I’ve just signed on for the declutter 2017 things in 2017 challenge as a way to just try and get through that final push. Short bursts work well for me (going to have to try 5 in 5). What works well for me is dropping off to my donation spot every week – if I am going to take a box I always try a fill it.
You can find out more about the 2017 in 2017 challenge here – https://moretimethanmoney.co.nz/2017/01/12/my-plan-to-declutter-2017-things-in-2017/
Thanks for sharing! I have been decluttering so slowly that people commenting about how “clean” our home is still surprises me and makes me smile! Someone new recently asked why our home is so “clean” as though it is not normal. It reminds me how far we’ve come although there’s still so much to edit! I also laugh inside since the lack of clutter causes our home to appear cleaner than it is. Every time we go on a trip or visit a place with sparse décor that is tidy and tranquil, it reminds of the peace that comes with only having what you need and just a few favorite extras you enjoy. That’s why I want to get there! I come home and take a few things off the walls. Sometimes I need to put something back-I am sensitive to my family, and my husband lovingly supports this processes of figuring out what’s just right for us. To get there, I started just asking him if I could try things, like emptying the countertops and taking down half of what’s on the walls. TRY was the key. We would see how it felt for a few days and then decide, and that makes it easier. So far, we usually enjoy the result!
I love the suggestion of trying something before committing. I too struggle with what to do with such a large space. I enjoy living with only what I need/love, but I don’t want to feel like my home is empty and without personal touches. My current battle is with wall art. I don’t want an empty feeling, but as a minimalist I don’t want every wall to have hangings.
Paint and wall stickers can go a long way to creating beautiful design and still maintaining the minimalist aesthetic. Not terribly expensive, either… Or even hanging crystals in the window to create a lovely rainbow of light. My husband and I laughingly call the dancing lights our tricky pixies.
I do the Minimalists thing of asking, something like, would the best version of myself want this? It helps. I’m pretty decluttered. The best version of myself is very ascetic.
Ooh, I like that thought.
I like your 8 strategies Claire but I think #8 is the key. Don’t beat yourself up for lack of progress. Celebrate any progress.
When I get stuck I remind myself that if I need anything I get rid of at a later date, I can reward myself with a newer and better one. That frees me to get unstuck and get rid of more stuff.
Great post-thank you, just what I needed.Excellent links too.
Great advice. Thank you so much for the post!
Thanks for the tips! I’ve been in the decluttering process for a few years now. It’s truly a process that takes time. I actually found it fairly easy to stop spending and bringing more into our house, but re-homing all the stuff we accumulated over the years is more difficult process and I don’t want to leave our home looking completely stark and empty. We just try to keep moving forward, one step at a time and articles like this serve as a reminder and encouragement to keep going.