Note: This is a guest post from Julia Ubbenga of Rich in What Matters.
Before decluttering our home (a.k.a. “letting go of over 75% of our possessions in a year”), I thought I had this possessions-pitching thing figured out.
It was October of 2018, and I’d decided to jump on the minimalist bandwagon, which actually was more like a life-raft than a wagon, promising to pull me out of anxiety and overwhelm.
I knew my excess stuff was weighing me down and had to go.
How hard could it be?
Collect the random trinkets and tchotchkes, place them in the donate box, and send them off to a new life far, far away from our home.
Turns out, planning to declutter and actually decluttering are two distinct things. In deciding I’d simply box up my massive amount of excess stuff, I had not considered things like: where to start my decluttering efforts, how to make time to actually do it (I had a baby and a four-year-old at the time), and what to do when I couldn’t let go because of cognitive or emotional roadblocks.
Ignorance was bliss, until I realized it wasn’t. So, I signed up for several decluttering courses in search of letting-go guidance.
While the courses got me started, it turns out—no surprise here—that experience was the best teacher.
And after maintaining a decluttered home for six years (now as a family of seven), I want to share with you five things I wish I’d known before decluttering our home in hopes that it helps you on your simplicity journey.
Here are 5 things I wish I’d known before decluttering our home:
1. Decluttering is about more than your possessions
Before decluttering our home, I thought the only thing I’d be letting go of was my stuff. Turns out, possessions just line the surface of letting go. Once you remove your excess physical stuff, you unveil other areas of your life that need to be decluttered: your calendar, your mind, your heart, your habits, your relationships.
Often, our physical clutter is a physical manifestation of what’s going on inside of us. Removing outer clutter gives us more space (and time) to observe and address our inner clutter.
Maybe decluttering your closet reveals your attachment to caring what others think—you bought most of those outfits to “fit in,” not because they aligned with your personal style. Maybe decluttering your bedroom uncovers that you’re habitually hurried or stuck in “doing mode.” Perhaps, previously, you didn’t have a true place of rest in your home because you didn’t think you deserved it.
In the words of Eleanor Brown, “Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships, and bad habits. Clutter is anything that does not support your better self.”
It’s in letting go of both the outer and inner clutter that real lightness is found.
2. The best place to start decluttering your home is in the area causing you the most stress
Before decluttering our home, I’d read that the best place to start was in a contained, non-sentimental area like a bathroom drawer. Soon, I had a couple tidy drawers while entropy ensued everywhere else. In short, those bathroom drawers did nothing to pull me from overwhelm or motivate me to declutter more.
The place to start my decluttering efforts, I realized, was the clutter category causing me the most stress. For me, this was kids’ clothes—they flooded our home. Once I’d decluttered kids’ clothes, I felt an immediate lightening in our living space. (One that I never felt with the bathroom drawers.) My stress levels had noticeably lowered; I was motivated to declutter the next category.
Once I began decluttering by stress-inducing stuff categories, I finally realized every minute spent decluttering was an investment in a more meaningful, lighter life.
3. Letting go of possessions can be harder than expected
Before decluttering our home, I was so motivated to go minimalist that I imagined I’d clear our clutter without any hiccups. I was great at packing things up, but the actual letting go part of decluttering was unnatural and arduous. Every feeling from guilt to fear arose.
I thought I needed to keep things simply because I saw them often, which made me feel like they belonged in our home (this is called the mere exposure effect). I realized I was also overvaluing things I owned simply because I was their owner (the endowment effect) and, therefore, didn’t want to let them go.
The most powerful way I found to loosen attachments to physical possessions was with time. I began hiding my boxes of unneeded stuff for a couple of months. When I didn’t see the items in these boxes daily, I realized life was lighter without them. After two months it became much easier to drop the boxes off at the donation site.
4. The possessions you own should support your life—now
Before decluttering our home, I thought I needed to keep many possessions from various stages of life. I needed to hold onto those jeans just in case they came back in style. I needed to keep all those souvenirs, photos, and even baby clothes because they held my memories.
Problem is, if you hold onto too much from your past, then you stay in… the past. Old stuff distracts you from the present. And the present—right now—is the only place life is happening. Hold on to too much old stuff and you will miss out on your life.
Owning possessions that support your life now helps you show up more fully in it. Let go of clothing you think you “should” keep or that makes you feel bad. Keep only your favorite sentimental items—your memories are in you, not your stuff.
Truth is, you don’t miss the stuff you let go of—you’ve outgrown it. Letting go propels you into your best life, which is happening now.
5. Decluttering is a journey
Before decluttering our home, I didn’t realize living a decluttered life would become a mindset, a lifestyle—a compass that would shape the trajectory of my life’s path.
Decluttering is a journey that changes you. It’s transformed the way I look at possessions (as necessary tools, not keys to my happiness), revamped my purchasing habits, helped deepen my spiritual life, and reduced the influence I feel from marketers.
I’ve decided that “lightly” is the best way to journey through life. I’m constantly moving deeper into minimalism, questioning our possessions, and fixing my focus more on the unseen and the eternal things that matter most.
Before decluttering our home, I couldn’t have envisioned the freedom found in living an uncluttered life.
Yes, life still has bumps—minimalism is no magic wand. But when stress levels decrease and time/energy increase, problems are easier to navigate.
If you’re at the outset of your decluttering journey, or if you’re about to restart your journey down simplicity’s path, I want to encourage you. The benefits of an uncluttered home—and life—far outweigh any initial unknowns.
Dive in—all in. Decluttering your life is an adventure you won’t regret.
***
Julia Ubbenga is the author of the new book Declutter Your Heart and Your Home: How a Minimalist Life Yields Maximum Joy which I was proud to endorse. She is the creator of the blog Rich in What Matters, and mom of five. She helps people let go of inner and outer clutter and reorder their lives around what matters most.
Here I go… Wish me luck!
Go for it it happened to me l helped a person it was like pulling his mollers out. Lolll
This is the best decluttering article I’ve read! I’m 60 and have acquired so much stuff, including inherited items from my Grandmother and Mother. Sometimes I feel like if I let go of items that remind me of them and happy days, I let go of them. We raise our grandson and I think, “Do I want to waste time caring for things of my past and not have time for him? Do I want to leave clutter for him to deal with after I pass?” No. There hardest part is finding time to get started! And I see my grandson is becoming a collector of stuff! One of the best lessons in life I can give him is to be a minimalist. Okay, here I go…decuttering!
I did not want this to be the time to declutter. My mother passed Christmas Evening 2024. Our household was, in my opinion, a level three hoard. My journey to declutter is a very lonesome one. And, I wish the path to minimalism to not be empty! On anyone, including my brother and I. With best regards, I pray this minimalism ego stays perpetually and everlasting evermore. Stay resilient and strong, and your possessions will not own you.
My mother also died on Christmas Eve 2024. I wish you well with your efforts. Thank you for your post.
My declutter energy derailed after I donated unused sneakers. I forgot my sis hid my at-home cash stash there. I had hundreds for cabs to medical appointments. Someone got a big Christmas present surprise last year.
Look, always look. I think I know what’s in the box… but I always have to look. I’m so sorry that happened ❤️
Is there an Aging and Disabilities Resource Center (ADRC) where you live? They might have some suggestions for less expensive ride providers. Our city transit division has regular buses but also has a unit that drives people with both short-term and long-term health issues directly to/from appts. Good luck!
Don’t you just HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS???! Been there, done that! Also around the holidays… I too think about how happy the person must’ve been to receive that gift…!🤗
I own a large house – living with me – my daughter, grandson, his girlfriend, 2 dogs and my 3 cats. So there is a lot of stuff, dog toys and my greatgranddaughter’s bookcase, Target game set and lots of her toys. The kitchen and living room are very cluttered. How can I convince my family to declutter?
I work very hard trying to get my rooms clutterfree, but am only somewhat successful
I straighten my end table and my bedroom every night, but other areas are not done.
What do I do?
Who needs 10 spatulas, 20 water cups, etc? Not to mention a full drawer of plastic containers?
Slowly get rid of things one by one two three things at a time they’re not going to notice keep doing that couple times a week and slowly declutter and as time passes they’re not going to miss all those 10 cups and all those spatulas and all that stuff my kitchen is the least of my worries it’s the stuff that I’ve hung on since my childhood like child craft encyclopedias and dishes and valuable dishes and things of that nature are my problem but the little things just you know what they do in apartment complexes if kid leaves their little writing plastic toy out they pick it up and they put it in the dumpster case closed you’re going to have to start doing that.
Sir William an old english friend who passed away said”MY DEAR A CLUTTERED HOUSE IS A CLUTTERED MIND”
THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME!
Some person posted somewhere that each person gets color coded dishes and utensils. So they know which is theirs to eat off of and clean up and put away. I thought that was a good idea.
I Also think those plastic storage drawers could organize a lot of toys.
You may holding onto all the mail just because your late husbands name is on them. He is in your heart. So shred them. By now all those sweepstakes are past the deadline. Shred it. Religious mail, if you are Catholic, then you are close with a church, you don’t need all the mailings. Shred it. For donations, if you want to donate to something, then in your heart you know where to put it towards, and you’ll know it’s legit. Not some mail that gets ppl to donate to some random place that’s most likely a scam. Shred it. Shred it all. As soon as it comes in for future mail- put ‘return to sender’ and cross out the scan bar line in black marker, put it in your out box. It won’t be able to scan, and it’ll be marked as ‘undeliverable’ and will no longer be sent to your address.
It wasn’t until I got sick that decluttering became fun. At that point I decided no more big dinners so out went all the dishes, silverware, and big serving pieces. I had no room anymore for a root cellar of extras. Gone were the pretty clothes I hadn’t worn for years, the worn out & uncomfortable shoes. My extensive jar collection. And I was delighted with what I kept. The biggest impetus for me is recognizing the changes in my life, knowing that the time has passed and I’m in a different era. Keeping all my stuff was preventing me from having the life I wanted. Now I’m free.
I know one military wife who decluttered upon moving (again). Her husband returned home and, aghast, said “what have you done with all my stuff?” Her response, “Tell me what you are missing and I’ll tell you what I did with it.” Perfect!!
It’s one thing to declutter our stuff, but it’s another to do that outside of the other person’s knowledge. That’s 🚩and controlling behavior.
It’s one thing to declutter our stuff, but it’s another to do that outside of the other person’s knowledge. That’s 🚩and controlling behavior. How would have she felt if it were the other way around?
I have a third small bedroom that’s packed with kid’s toys, and a basement half jammed with tons of items that I care about. This article has inspired me to have my daughter over to take any things that she can use with her two small children and a new baby on the way. She is also gifted in cleaning up messy areas! Yes it is time for me to get busy!! Thank you for the incentive for this 76 year old to get busy!!
Excellent article! I’m working on it.
I love this thanks so much . I need to declutter so bad and this gave me a reason for doing it .thank you all for sharing this.
Great article, thanks.
I feel like I’m on a constant decluttering journey. Kids moved out to college, parents died, husband keeps a lot. At one point I was simply overwhelmed. I had all my kids childhood stuff, I’ve kept one memory box for each of them and one for my parents in the attic. I gave my kids the rest of their stuff including old Christmas ornaments. Some of my parent’s stuff is still lingering…. As for my husband he gets a honey do list and for the most part this works.
Besides this article, (a good one) my motivation to keep decluttering is how clear it makes my mind and soul feel every day afterwards. And, frankly my house is smallish with storage at a premium, so onward to those old crusty WWII parent boxes! And I almost forgot I love to shop, but after adopting a decluttering mindset, I’m wiser about my purchases, which makes me feel good about not cluttering our planet and not draining my bank account.
From an apartment neat and House Beautiful and unhappy, went to two children, divorced, full-time outside job and home work job and two children who resented me for being a working “mother” while their friends had SAHM.
I had my mom’s stuff, my ex’s stuff, my brother’s stuff, and my stuff.
Therapy gave me new ways to cope…picked a couple and they worked for a little while.
Declutter buddy worked but the other person stopped after one success.
My place never is like “Hoarders…” but is to me so never invited anyone into my home. Hard to even have plumber and furnace and gas experts in for repairs.
Neighbor needed help and invited me in and now I have decluttered two drawers and tossed what no longer had a different place. I have a donate bag and when full I take to center.
I buy nothing unless willing to get rid of four things for each one I think I want.
That works!!
If I don’t fold underwear, I put it into drawer but cannot use folded until the unfolded is used!
Silverware drawer is ALWAYS neat, as are dishes and glasses cabinet, and spices.
I have a box out of sight for anything that my children didn’t take, knowing all would be safe with me. I will either mail to them or donate and toss.
Too much to keep writing about. But your article has made sense to me and I am doing a little daily. Feels great! Thank you and thank myself. When I accomplish at least two hours of decluttering or cleaning, I reward myself with dinner out. Or movie. Or scenic drive.
One hour of chore I do that I don’t like doing but need to do is rewarded by one hour of something I like doing.
I like this. Thank you for sharing your stories and experiences.
Thanks so much for this, I am at the point of starting to declutter after many years of holding on to things I thought were of so much value, but as you say, they are a reflection of my inner me, I am feeling weighed down and need to let go…living light spiritually, emotionally and physically is the key…love love this article
I didn’t expect to benefit from this article. I am not quite done ‘decluttering’ just their stuff after losing both his and my mothers. My MIND still quite cluttered with sense of my own mortality and concerned about not leaving the same issues and things for the next generation. Exacerbated by HIS stuff now being the bulk of what irks me when I am overlooking ‘the beam in mine own eye’.
This month I delight in my beautiful Easter food and flower garden but ignore the chaos on my ‘work’ (the dining room) table of seeds and papers which have lived there for weeks and months let alone my physical health with atrocious sleep okay and also dietary habits and phone/ Facebook time killing. Time to work on my inner clutter indeed.
So instead of saying “how do you get your spouse to declutter their stuff short of outliving them?” and “I’m going to condense his boxes of duplicate military records” I shall add to “look I pulled some weeds and got all the tomatoes planted” the aim of “wow good time to scatter those 3-9 year old seeds in that garden bed and see if any come up, and toss the now empty packets” and “wow I can see a few more square inches of table now I filed old bills and tossed old catalogs.”
These are alot of good ideas, but I lost my husband à short time ago. I get it so much mail I have No idea what to do with it all. Many things are for different sweepstakes and nany for donations! Quit a bit of religious things also that I cannot bring myself to throw away.I’m Catholic! Help! What do I do with all the mail?
You need to toss it.all. You are vulnerable to scammers right now, and they will find you, so don’t sign up for anything, or reply to anything unless you know who it’s from.
Exactly, scammers, 3 sets found me. My parents were physicians. Everyone always says ka-ching, ka-ching, yah know? Boom boom boom. Now back at home after suing the big one, more scammers. Modern world. Just drop your things in a compartmentalized way at a thrift store far away from where you live… well at least 30 miles away.
I also lost a child and found myself reading all the charity appeals, wanting to help them all until I realized I had contributed more often than I should. I finally chose a couple of them to continue supporting and subsequently can now pitch all other appeal letters without opening them. I encourage you to do the same.
For years now, I’ve used a website called Catalog Choice to help unsubscribe from junk and other unsolicited mail. I use it for myself, and I used it for my mom’s mail after she passed. She used to get SO many catalogs and nonprofit requests, but after a couple months it was down to a trickle. Highly recommend! I don’t know if we’re permitted to provide links, but if you Google it, it should cone right up. It’s a .org website.
I signed up decades ago! Cat Choice is amazing!
Why do you even need catalogs? Any purchase should be intentional. If you just happen to see something you may be triggered to want it. Out of sight out of mind.
Georganne,
I am sorry for your loss. Yes, these are trying times but this is the most important time to take care of you. Spiritual mail, requests to help others, pulls at our heart strings. Often we feel selfish when we have needs and therefore feel guilty by not putting others first. Your spirituality is within you not a magazine. Flip through it once. Cut out something that speaks to you or donate the magazines to the church.
Regarding the rest of the mail, please try to see it just as mail, without judgement. Keep things simple. Commit to handling it only once. Sort through it and release it to the trash.
Seeing your husband’s name on ithe mail doesn’t keep him alive, your memories do. Do your best to hang onto only the good memories, forgive the rest. This is your time to take care of you. Remember, as you heal, you will teach others to heal.
My prayers are with you.
Sincerely, Jacqueline
I can’t suggest what you should do but I want to remind you that GOD sees you and hears you regardless of how many religious items you possess. He is always working for us. 🙏
Write “no longer at this address”, “deceased”, “return to sender”, or something similar, and put them back in the mailbox!
On donations. Decide what program or project you want to support. We started a memorial scholarship in our sons memory. I donate to church collections where I attend. Done! I’d rather up these amounts than add organizations. I’m retired so I don’t forsee an income increase. Good luck
I’ve been doing that and think about all the old mailing lists folks are using. Some are >17 yrs old
Wow! Thanks for the wonderful article, so clear and honest! Getting myself refocused and motivated!
I sent back junk mail as I call it a long time ago without postage and so they had to pay for that.. it did not take them long to realize that their junk was costing them money.. no more junk mail
Toss the garbage mail that you did not order!!
Catholic means nothing unless it preaches clutter and misery.
We have General Delivery in our small town.
#1 …. I requested the Post mistress to not put advertisements in my P.O. box.
#2 …. “Return to Sender” unwanted mail. (Deceased)
This has worked.
How about creating an email asking them to take you off of their mailing list? Send it to all of the organizations that are mailing you. For those that don’t comply with your request in a month, start writing ‘return to sender’ on the envelope and send it back to them. Get off of the mailing lists of as many organizations as possible, including the religious ones. Then you can choose who you want to receive communications from. And preferably by email which is easier to unsubscribe from. Throw the mail that you personally didn’t request straight into the recycling or garbage bin without opening it. I hope that these suggestions help.
I’m sorry for your loss. I am Catholic too. I had been tossing the many extra religious items in a box and one month our intergenerational religious education class had a lesson on sacramentals. We teachers brought rosaries, prayer cards, medals, and more to show the students AND everyone got to take some home!! Ask at your church. 🙏🙏
On donations. Decide what program or project you want to support. We started a memorial scholarship in our sons memory. I donate to church collections where I attend. Done! I’d rather up these amounts than add organizations. I’m retired so I don’t forsee an income increase. Good luck
Call your local recycling centers and see if they have large paper shredder machine. I have one I can use for free. Some places charge a small fee.
I have an indoor mailbox in the lobby of my condo. I stand at the garbage can and rip and trash the junk mail and catalogs before they even enter my home. The same could be accomplished at the outdoor trash can.
If I kept the catalogs, I would be tempted to spend money I need to save. Perusing their pages also takes up time I should spend on other things. Not to mention the clutter they become as they stack up instead of having been put in the trash to begin with.
I still have a long way to go. I have a ton of stuff from my 18 year old daughter that was killed in 2002- that I want to scrapbook. It’s been a long time but still too painful to go through.
When it comes down to it, I can’t take anything with me And it becomes clutter for my Children to deal with when I die.
You may holding onto all the mail just because your late husbands name is on them. He is in your heart. So shred them. By now all those sweepstakes are past the deadline. Shred it. Religious mail, if you are Catholic, then you are close with a church, you don’t need all the mailings. Shred it. For donations, if you want to donate to something, then in your heart you know where to put it towards, and you’ll know it’s legit. Not some mail that gets ppl to donate to some random place that’s most likely a scam. Shred it. Shred it all. As soon as it comes in for future mail- put ‘return to sender’ and cross out the scan bar line in black marker, put it in your out box. It won’t be able to scan, and it’ll be marked as ‘undeliverable’ and will no longer be sent to your address.
First and most important is knowing you have had a tremendous loss of the most significant person in your life. Understanding holding and touching his clothing you loved, those items bringing memories of your life together that brought you tenderness, joy, love, specialness times you remember are part of your life at this period of your life. Crying throughout is good and helps in your life at this moment. Declutter is a word that can be taken on later. It is more important that “your” healing takes place, and it will be moments at a time. Now, is the time “your life” begins with freshness and a more simplified direction. Start by beginning a way for “you” to easily understabd and be able to handle what your daily, weekly, monthly, yearly life will bring. A “to do” list written at bedtime for your tomorrow is a good starting point. A calendar close by to include important events: appointments, dates bills are due, special items, etc. (all this becomes a reference point for you to easily keep track of) Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your friends, where other hands once took care of for you..All of this is part of the healing process of a new journey in time for your life. God is right beside you to help when it seems a wee bit overwhelming. At the right time you will know when you.can start sharing with others those items you freely know you no longer have need for. Every step you undertake, in this journey, when you are ready will bring a smile and new twinkle of feeling joy, and warmness to your heart. May you be blest and feel comfort in this part of your life.
Wow, just speechless… crying,emotional I need help!! (I mean it, I’ve looked for free help but it’s hard to find good help) you see I am a single mother of five beautiful kids ranging in age from 18 yrs. – 20 mths. And I do not work now I haven’t for a couple of years because of medical reasons long story but I do need someone to talk to someone to help me someone maybe to give me a nudge or I’m not sure exactly what I’m looking for.? Or who I am or a lot of questions I have I’ve lost myself through my 39 years of living and decluttering my life and my home if I could actually do it I probably couldn’t even tell you right now I’m crying just feeling the pain of having to give up those sentimental things I’ve had a lot of important people in my life leave me and I still hold on I have a real big problem of letting go and hearing all these previous replies, it’s almost like a little bit of my life is and everybody if that makes any sense I’m sure if I kept reading I might find some more things that remind me of my life and why I need to consider decluttering so I can be free from the trauma of my past and some of those all of those people in my past. I’m not afraid to ask for help and this is me asking for HELP? I do not have friends to talk to I barely have family for them to understand where I’m coming from or try to help me instead of making it sound so easy but it’s NOT “Easier said than done”. I was on medication and going to a therapist every two weeks but…
Okay so I realize that I maybe spilling a little too much but I would love to talk with someone and would love some help need the help if anyone could reach out to me rather it be to point me in the right direction to some help or you help me yourself I guess I don’t I don’t know if don’t even allow this to be posted. Your post really touched me and the previous ones before so much of what y’all said is a part of my past and I know it sounds crazy but if you could reach out please do I am open to learning and open to listening and taking constructive criticism.
I think what pushed me to wanting and looking into becoming a minimalist is I guess when you’re fed up you’re fed up!! me and my family becoming another statistic in family violence yet again for I would say probably the 4th maybe more time is not how I plan my life out to be and if I don’t step away from this and get help I’ll probably only dig myself deeper, especially when you see one of your daughters headed in the direction that I was in and seeming to date or want to be in a relationship with boys who are similar (narcissistic or abusers in some way)
Okay I’m sorry I started again I enjoyed this post about minimalist and it is something that I’m considering these were very helpful insights about where to get started
This article hits home in every way,..
Yes we declutter our spaces yet we need to reach that same concept in our everyday lives with decluttering of People you don’t need around you who more than likely create this drama that wouldn’t be there if per say they weren’t around to cause that drama in your life. Sometimes we care so much that we let others walk all over us just so they look good in there Social Group but in reality they are only lying to themselves because deep down they are really not okay and at this point you’ve already moved on from all there lies and drama anyway and can say you really did try to be a good friend but not everyone is meant to click if you know what I’m saying.
I absolutely love and agree with everyone’s comments, opinions so different and or similar in many ways. I feel like what has worked for me would be focusing on small areas of my place like working through decluttering in an hour or less and then move on to another space and not spend too much time and that way it’s not so repetitive. Restroom easy space think simple things and of course switching out colors and themes etc. but easy to keep up with.
I think the hardest part of decluttering for me is putting clothes in a bag to get rid of them in the first place. And not so hard for me to declutter when I know it’s spring clean time I don’t know why that concept works for me. Maybe certain areas of my living space are easier to declutter. I have to prepare myself for when I’m going to throw away things that might be of sentimental value but then again I know that I’m doing it to clean and make my space tidy again it’s a mental thing i guess, I can do it. (:
You can do it. (:
How do I declutter my kids
You need to toss it.all. You are vulnerable to scammers right now, and they will find you, so don’t sign up for anything, or reply to anything unless you know who it’s from.
Hi Julie!
I had ONE daughter who was nicknamed “Pigpen” from Charlie Brown, LOL. She was always clutterer extraordinaire. One evening the other parent blew up about her room (again), so I took her back the hall. I gave her a little task, like pick out your five favorite T-shirts, while I surveyed the rest. She had papers from kindergarten and up to 4th grade under her bed (big black garbage bag). Looked around and just chose ONE category: stuffed animals; asked her the favorites and tossed the rest. We worked and whittled away at just about everything; her sister walked in and said “what smells like a hamster cage?” which led to finding a pile of slightly damp panties way back under the bed! I NEVER EVER would have known they were there had I not decided to declutter!
I thought I had read everything there is to read about decluttering and organizing and was afraid I’d never find anything new! Not that I didn’t keep reading…what the heck, reading the same stuff, dressed up a little differently, still helped me procrastinate just a bit longer! But seriously, I love this! This hits me right on and I honestly believe I might finally be ready to take a chance and get out from under all this stuff and the excuses I’ve made for why they’re still here! Are they here to keep my best life out of reach? I never thought I felt “unworthy” but your words about that really struck a chord. Thank you so much for sharing your story and touching insights! This is the best advice I think I have read! God bless you and your family! You have truly made a difference for me and by the responses I read, many others, as well!!
100 percent agree, excellent article and the responses from readers are all so honest, kind and helpful. Best read on his subject yet!
Best article I have read yet on decluttering! Some call it purging, I am in the middle of purging a huge storage unit, things I haven’t seen for 10 years plus. Quite a trip down memory road! I don’t like to say I have gotten rid of this stuff it’s like it was bad, none of it’s bad, just time to let go of it! Give it a new home at a flea market, a garage sale!
I like the idea of someone else possibly enjoying the things that I have enjoyed for years but now it’s time to move forward in my life into a different chapter and without so many things to hold me back! Less is more at my age!
Thanks for the helpful hints. I was a care giver for my husband with AZ
A journey for sure, able to keep him at home till the end. His sweet personality didn’t change. I need to down size again. Thank heaps for the ideas. My daughter came to help in my crafting room, just helping me reorganize eas huge. I am doing the box idea in my closet. Dishes will be harder as I like setting a table with themes or seasons.
Just a thing that works for me…I like dishes too but not the clutter. I’ve gone to a lovely textured base set of white. The subtle design keeps it from being boring. I have a base set of gold chargers too. From there I can add a few simple holiday themed things and it all matches. A table runner is less clutter than more dishes but a themed one or appropriate color really sets the tone. With the base dishes in white, everything works. I’ve conquered my dishes addiction. My last weakness is large artwork. I love to change it for the seasons.
Perhaps the dishes will be easier if you decide ahead of time to keep say centerpieces and serving dishes that fit the season but keep the actual place setting dishes something neutral. Just a thought.
Your advice is very practical and insightful. The greatest learning I’ve had from this article is the need to understand the reasons for my attachment to tangible objects. What am I afraid to lose and why?
Another great article. I have hidden items in boxes as well. Now I have a donation box in a closet. If I have an item I can’t decide on, it goes in the box. Easy to get to. It helps me to just have it not visible to decide.
I like the concept of the box in the closet
WOW 🤯 Definitely a reality check. “Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships, and bad habits. Clutter is anything that does not support your better self.”
I lost my husband 2 weeks ago. He had been I’ll for quite some time and I had been his caregiver for years. Somewhere along the way I began hoarding. I guess to make me feel better or something. But , of course, it didn’t. After he passed away I came home to a house full of stuff I did not need and my house never felt more empty. I walked from room to room and realized I was not in any if these rooms. What he needed to take care of him was there, what he liked was there, but I could not find me. So I began clearing out to see if I could find myself. So the journey begins. Thank you for your insights, they have helped me to begin healing.
I can relate to this so much. I was able to have a good cry and say. It’s my time now.
I agree I Lost my husband a few months ago. Caregiving made me lose my identity. Now I’m discovering my real self again. Mission accomplished. I cared for him with all my heart for years . He was fulltime needy. and I gave it my all in love. But….He’s gone and now I’m going to get on with my life. God bless him he was a pleasure to care for but now new life for myself.
So very sorry for your loss. I have been a caretaker of my husband. Time to do cleaning, organizing just seems to disappear. I have started to declutter and it takes much longer for each room than I allowed for in my head. I am determined to keep plugging away at it. God comfort you and May he help you find yourself again. God loves and cares for you. Warmly.
May God bless you and help u to heal and allow yourself to breathe. I think u will find renewal and lots of joy even while mourning. I pray this for you, dear soul.
Jodie,
My condolences to you. I cared for my mom who had dementia for 2 years. It is ok to nurture yourself now. You will slowly find your equilibrium and learn what your own preferences are and what can breath joy back into your life. You will find yourself and some healthy times. Peace to you and may God bless you as you explore.
Jodie, I lost my husband four months ago and had also been his caretaker for over a year so my first decluttering is emptying his side of a huge overfilled closet! It was hard to begin that, but once I started, it’s been a daily feeling of success, little by little.
I have to admit that I am saving a few of his clothes and things of his, that I am able to wear, for now.
Later, I will probably let those things go as well because I don’t need them. I also do not need the amount of clothes that I currently have stored up over many years.
This wonderful article helps me to be sure to not back off of this quest of decluttering.
It’s actually, bringing me some joy that I thought would never come again.
Yes, some of the things I come across make me cry and I grieve again and then get back to work either later the same day or maybe the next day. I forgive myself a little when I procrastinate, but I do get back on track again without letting too much time go by. It gives me a feeling of success in some thing. Besides, Curated piles are still within eyesight, and that makes me continue so that I can eventually get even those out of the view!
Decluttering is one tool in my toolbox of very practical ways to tackle depression. It is better to be depressed in a tidy house than a messy one. Mess and dirt just exacerbate depression/anhedonia. Also, a tidy and decluttered room is proof that I have done something concrete to help myself, and that buoys my spirit.
I embrace my minimalist lifestyle. I aspire to have a place for everything and everything in its place. I have far fewer possessions. I recognize that external order is great for internal chaos. However, I can never seem to catch up with my “to do” list and I welcome any suggestions that anyone might have. I feel like I never have enough free time. I welcome any suggestions you might have.
Compartmentalizing and Priority.
Right here. Best statement of all. Exactly This Is How We The Maximists Live. Thanks❗❤
Have you ever turned a “to do” list around and listed instead all the things you’ve gotten done? Puts a helpful perspective on your accomplishments and may create balance in your life.
Maybe your to do list is really too much at one time. I make to do lists all the time. But I separate it into categories..today, this week, future plans. Because my to do list may include pay bills, laundry, clean chicken coops and build a patio. Obviously build a patio is lots of major steps. Try to see honestly if you’re expecting too much on a daily basis. When I’m stressed I try to stay super busy so I don’t have time alone with my thoughts. Yet, if I don’t get everything done, I feel defeated and like a failure. It’s kinda self sabotaging. I have to recognize that in order to deal with it. Good luck to you. Clutter is so much more than just physical items.
This article has rescued me from becoming a hoarder!!! THANKS to my daughter for sharing it
I really enjoyed this post. I especially loved the idea of decluttering by categories rather than spaces. It makes sense that the things that stress us the most should be the things we start with. I totally get how that would motivate us to continue.
I also realise that where I am most stuck is with items that have a superstitious connection to them. I believe that they have been bringing me luck or success and that if I release them that luck or success will disappear with them. I wonder if the idea of boxing up those things, so that I see them less and I can also notice if my luck changes (!) without actually irreversibly releasing them.
I’m inspired to pick up my partial decluttering efforts with renewed enthusiasm. I will begin by which of the remaining clutter stresses me most.
I truly understand the message in this article. I’m just so very, very, stuck. I tried decluttering about 7 yrs ago and threw away something very special to me. I’m still haunted by it. Now I triple and quadruple check every decluttering decision I make, which is not only tedious & exhausting, but slows progress. Things (especially paperwork), arrive faster than I can declutter it. And don’t even ask about “Clothes.” Getting rid of clothes causes me so much anxiety. (I may be a tiny bit of a fashionista). I’m also ex military so everything has to be “Dress Right Dress.” So I have all these (over-stuffed & precisely organized spaces) but I feel like I’m losing the decluttering battle. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Plus, as a side note, my passion is Journaling, but I end up doing that “Late” at night because I’m “trying”to fit decluttering into all the other free spaces in my life. Ugh! I so frustrated with all this stuff!!!
I wish you all the best, I have recently started this process and have no thoughts to assist.
I might be taking too much time to decide ‘should it stay or should it go’. It reminds me of an old song by The Clash.. Should I Stay or Should I Go Now.
Have you tried taking a digital photo of something for posterity and then letting the actual thing go on to a new owner.
Pictures have now cluttered my Android and takes lots of wasted time scrolling to find pic needed …
I am now decluttering computer pictures…and messages!
Ahh, I relate to your frustration. I believe my perfectionism really hampers my decluttering. My closet is a great example. If organized properly it’s not cluttered. Ha
RE Journaling night owl 🦉
Another thing we have in common. I have recently been forced to get up earlier. I’m trying to develop a new “schedule” of sorts. I’m Journaling in the morning after reading my self help books and devotionals.
Having worked in Special education for many years I know the importance of a schedule. My recent efforts to declutter my life are centered around “check schedule”. Hopefully, this will someday become habit vs a chore.
Just do ten minutes of declutterring a day. Declutterring is less daunting done in one small increment every day. It is amazing what can be accomplished in a short time, especially when it is repeated every day.
This works for me ; D
Best article I’ve read on minimalism. Finally, getting deeper into what I needed to hear. I had an “aha” moment reading the truth on why it is so hard to begin to unclutter although I know I need to. Thank you so much…
I love your thoughts here. They really speak to this 64 year old Nana. :)