How do you define success in life?
Do you give much thought to the question?
By definition, the word success means: favorable or desired outcome.
Other dictionary definitions of the word include phrases such as: the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.
Too often, we conflate phrases like “desired outcome” with “attainment of wealth or honor.” In that case, or in other definitions, we measure success in life in terms of favorable, external outcomes.
But this is not always the best way to define success. External outcomes may be appropriate measures at times, but not always.
For example, most of the people in my life want to be successful parents. In fact, a good percentage of them might even define raising good kids as more important than attaining wealth or power.
If those parents were to define success in terms of favorable, external outcomes, “good kids” would be the attainment of their goal and an indication of their success.
On the surface, that might make perfect sense. Parenting success results in good kids, right? How else are we going to measure a favorable outcome?
But hold on a second.
Some of the most loving, patient, wise, intentional parents I know don’t have kids that turned out well. No doubt you know faithful parents as well whose children didn’t turn out as one would hope.
A parent can do everything right, but every human being is going to make their own choices about how to live.
In fact, to take it a step further, I know some families where one child turned out to be a loving, high-contributing member of society and a second child, with the exact same parents in the exact same family, turned out completely different.
If those parents (or any parent reading this article) define success by the external outcome of “good kids,” they might think they are far from it. Even though they did everything right—or at least to the best of their ability.
See where I’m going with this?
At many points in life, defining success as an external, desired outcome is an incorrect measure.
We can run into this faulty equation in other scenarios as well:
1. A businessman who runs his business with character and integrity and generosity may end up with a company far smaller than someone who runs theirs with greed.
2. A highly talented and hard-working individual may choose a career of service in the nonprofit industry and end with far less financial wealth than a similarly talented and motivated individual who chose a career for individual profit.
3. A mother may dedicate her days to raising her children because she feels called to do so and end with far fewer honors and awards than a mother who stayed in the public eye.
4. A politician may choose integrity and still lose an election to a corrupt opponent.
In each case, the outcomes do not do justice to the lives lived. Success must be measured differently than favorable, external outcomes alone.
So how do we define success in life?
We can define success differently when we stop looking to external “outcomes” as the only definition of it.
Success in life is living true to your values and passions—regardless of the outcome.
There is certainly a conversation to be had over the question, “Are some values and passions better than others?” But I’m not here to define those for you today.
Instead, I want to just encourage you that a life lived aligned with your values, lived to the fullest of your abilities, is the only definition of success you need.
A focused and intentional life is a favorable outcome—in and of itself.
For some of you, though the externals may paint a different picture, success is closer than you think.
And for others, though the externals may paint a positive picture, success is farther away than you think—especially if your values and passions have been sacrificed to achieve those outcomes.
tahoora says
hi jashua, i’ve been watching your videos and reading your book daily for a while now. thank you for making my mind thinking more clearly about minimalism and the things i need or don’t, i need to ask you, do you know families that some of the members keep everything( even junks) and are also shopoholic and buy everything that is on a discount? imagine how the house would be, i am strugling in this family that two members are like this. and i don’t know how to convince them to get rid of junks( to begin with) for example they keep broken plastics, every empty bottle! do you know what i might be able to do to make them get rid of things? i tried talking for years! and everytime i am alone i put bunches of things out and they mostly never know, but when they know there is a fight! i would truly appriciate any suggestions
Vivien Mitchell says
Unfortunately it would appear that those family members are in fact hoarders, so I would suggest that you Google ‘living with hoarders’ to obtain further information on how to cope with this situation. Good luck!
Martha G says
Excellent post! My simplified, introvert life may not appear successful to others but after years of trying I have found great internal success
Michele says
Martha, I live a quiet introverted lifestyle as well. I feel blessed to live a lifestyle that promotes inner peace and quiet. My lifestyle allows me to prioritize the study and deeper understanding of my personal values. That for me, is success.
Vivien Mitchell says
That sounds lovely!
Judy says
Deep!
Steve says
Thank you for this posting, Joshua. I try to be true to myself and enjoy the journey, but sometimes I get a little caught up in the nonsense: your blog above was a timely reminder!
Clovis Barnett says
Right on, Joshua! As a Pastor who gave up a banking career as well as a Financial Advisor/Planner career for ministry, this is a subject that I have given quite a lot of thought to, and I decided that following God’s call based upon the passion, gifts, and strengths He gave was more important than what I might have achieved financially and otherwise outside of church ministry.
Betsy says
Thank you for this posting, I sure needed it. Everyday day I see corruption just about everywhere and it seems to be winning.
Steve Harpum says
It can seem that way, Betsy, but be assured that there is goodness, mercy and virtue everywhere. I sometimes feel the way you do, but look deeper, past the noise of those who have a vested interest in making us worried and anxious, and there is beauty and love everywhere.
Tina says
Thank you.
Emily Batista says
I consider myself to be successful. I had a wonderful career, from which I retired a year ago. I had a great marriage to a man who died over four years ago and although I miss him terribly, I have crafted a different life than what we planned and am doing well. I am spending my time doing things I love (being with friends and family, sewing quilts, traveling, exploring my neighborhood and city on foot) and I continue to get rid of the stuff that we accumulated during our life that I no longer need or want. I am content with who I am and what I have done and look forward to an even better future as I continue to devalue things in favor of experiences. I love being part of this community, where success is NOT defined by money or material things.
Vivien Mitchell says
I’m sad that your husband isn’t here to enjoy these things with you now, but I’m happy that you have so many good memories to treasure and that you have crafted such an amazing life for yourself.
Kristy Leavitt says
Thank you for this, Joshua!
ROBERT FALCK says
Joshua Becker on to something!
Always a boost in my inbox.
joshua becker says
Thanks Robert.
John P. Weiss says
I visited a Benedictine monastery recently whilst touring Tuscany. The monks I saw there devote their lives to faith and virtue. They seem peaceful and content, despite lacking financial wealth and prestige. Success, to me, comes down to living with authenticity and virtue. Who do you want to see in the mirror each day? What do you want the landscape of your life to look like? Fortune and fame are illusory. In the end, all we have is our character.
joshua becker says
Yes John! Those were the words I couldn’t find writing this post: authenticity and virtue. Authenticity is the main point of my post. But as I wrote, I thought to myself, “authenticity to a foolish cause” is still a poor decision. Authenticity AND virtue — that was the word I needed. Thank you for adding it here.