Years ago, my friend received a promotion at work. When his promotion was announced, the CEO explained it like this, “He has distinguished himself among his peers, we are promoting him to a new position.”
It was a sentence I have never forgotten. “He has distinguished himself.”
To me, it sounded like one of the greatest compliments anyone could receive: to distinguish yourself among your peers.
Distinguished is a word of respect that we tend to use when speaking in positive terms: a distinguished gentleman, a distinguished career, a distinguished painter.
For many, it conjures up images of a sharply dressed, handsome man. But that is not the definition of the word—nor is that how I defined the compliment.
The definition is much broader: respectable, perceived as a difference in, marked by excellence, set apart.
To stand out as different, in a good way, from everyone else—that is the definition of distinguished.
And that is a description I am drawn to. I hope when people look at my life and how I lived, they will say, “He lived differently than the world around him. He distinguished himself by the way he lived each day.”
This is a description I think we all should strive for.
But how can it be true of yourself?
You certainly don’t need money, a fancy suit, a powerful position, or a role in the public eye to be considered distinguished. My friend didn’t have any of those things. No matter where you are or what you do, you can set yourself apart.
Here are 8 ways to distinguish yourself from the world around you:
1. Be faithful with a little.
With whatever you have been given, be faithful and disciplined with it. With your money, your body, your talents, your education, your upbringing, your opportunity, or your position, be faithful and disciplined to make the most of everything at your disposal.
Not everyone is faithful with the gifts they have been given. Some squander them, still others spend their lives wishing for a different lot. You can distinguish yourself by being faithful with all that you’ve been given or earned.
2. Choose to live differently.
Indeed, to live set apart, is in the very definition of the word distinguished. But this will never become a reality in your life until you choose to live a life different than society.
Following the crowd is what everyone else is doing. And I’m not sure it’s leading to as much joy and fulfillment as people believe. It’s certainly not going to result in a life that stands out from the crowd.
3. Remain focused.
This world is full of distractions from things that matter. These distractions are not just advertisements, social media, and 24-hour breaking news. Many of the pursuits most common to humankind (money, power, fame, possessions) are only distractions from the pursuits in life that are most important.
To distinguish yourself from the crowd, remove trivial distractions today. Keep your attention and life focused on things that matter. And then, do it all again tomorrow.
4. Live humbly.
You can waste a lot of words and energy trying to convince people you are someone important. Instead, put your head down, do good work, and run the race set in front of you.
Not only will you accomplish more along the way, but your humility will also distinguish you from the crowd. It always does.
5. Include others in your growth.
The quickest way to succeed in life is to help someone else succeed in theirs. Unfortunately, most of the world does not live this way. They seek personal success for themselves and often see the world as a competition to get to the top first.
To stand out from the crowd, include others in your growth and success. Share your gifts and talents and accomplishments. Mentor others. Compete less, encourage more.
6. Show grace to others.
Those who routinely extend grace, patience, and kindness to others distinguish themselves in a crowded world. No doubt those who have shown grace and kindness to you stick out in your mind.
To accomplish this, remind yourself often that this world is largely unfair, that people come from a variety of backgrounds, and that nobody is truly self-made… even you. This approach to life always results in humbleness, graciousness, patience, and love.
7. Appreciate different opinions.
While there is nothing wrong with being dogmatic in your beliefs, a healthy appreciation of how others came to theirs is seemingly, an underappreciated quality these days.
By appreciating different opinions, we grow in our understanding of the world and the people around us. And seeking to learn from others, rather than trying to convince them of your opinion, will make you stand out from the crowd today more than ever.
8. Bring optimism into every day.
Greet each day and each person you meet with a smile. Remind yourself each morning that every new day is an opportunity to be your best and make a difference in the life of another. The more you see each day as opportunity, the greater your outlook will be.
And the more optimism you bring into each day, the more that optimism will spill out into the lives of others. Smile more, scowl less. Be noticed for your joy and excitement for life and living your best one.
Live a life that is respectable, different, excellent, and set apart from the world around you. Be distinguished.
DanO2020 says
All these suggestions are excellent. Do them all without expectation of being recognized as distinguished in most work situations. Do them because they reflect your vibrant inner life and they will enrich the lives of others with whom you interact. Humility and generosity of spirit are so rare in today’s workplace that they tend to be trampled upon by those looking to “succeed”. The reward will come in the long term with deep satisfaction that you have striven to be your best self and, in doing so, those who passed through your life are better because of it.
KD says
I had a supervisor who always said that it’s important to surround yourself with great people. Although we were in a field that was male-dominated, she was never threatened by others’ skills/knowledge; nor did she feel she had to prove herself. She knew that she didn’t have all the answers (no one ever does!) — so, she continually brought in staff who were strong in areas where she may have lacked experience. She led a team of hard-working, talented people who were loyal to her because she trusted us and gave us the autonomy to do our jobs. In turn, she distinguished herself because we all made her look good (“Teams are most successful when no one cares about who gets the credit.”). It was a two-way street and one of the best working environments I’ve ever experienced.
Cleofe P says
This sounds like good advice. But it may be that following a path of humility and “promoting” others in this world means that you will be in the background, you will be behind others not in front. You will not stand out or be called “distinguished” until someone notices you. Who do you want to notice you? When you live humbly, you don’t boast, therefore you don’t stand out.
Getting a promotion is meritocracy. Someone noticed you and decided you deserve a promotion based on something you did or a perception of you. But not everyone gets noticed in this favorable way.
I think that if you value admiration and approval of others, then this is a great list to follow. How can you not admire someone who is always the optimist, encouraging others and is humble? A person like this is great to work with, sounds like a good friend, spouse etc. It’s a great list of “things to be” if you want to make a good impression on others, possibly get celebrated and be liked by all.
If you want to feel worthy, chosen and above everyone else, this is a good list to follow. It will give you pride in yourself and your own efforts.
If you don’t care what others think of you and don’t want to focus your life on pleasing people and “appearing good”, then this list is not for you. This list is only for people who want earthly praise.
However if you are the opposite of the list above and have not received praise from people and feel like you will never measure up, the text you may be looking for is in the Bible pointing to Jesus Christ the true accomplished one.
“But he replied, ‘My gift of undeserved grace is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak.’ So if Christ keeps giving me his power, I will gladly brag about how weak I am.”
(2 Corinthians 12:9)
Jessalynn Jones says
Beautiful article Joshua. When I was a teenager some around me started dressing “goth” to be “different” and I said “that’s not different, everyone is doing that.”
If you truly want to be different in a good way you have to stand by what you know is right while still being kind and listening. I think that can be a challenge anytime you are trying to do something that others aren’t doing because they automatically think that your decisions for yourself are a judgement on their way of life. It takes a lot of “grace” to inspire instead of intimidate. I hope that I can also distinguish myself as someone that lifts others up as I take my journey!
ruth eva varner says
Excellent article! Such a simple, rewarding life view. Thanks for sharing your ideas and inspiring others.
Marcia McGrath says
Excellent, sound, advice – as always. Good, godly counsel. So different than the advice of the world at large. Keep it coming. I love your emails and youtube videos, and I share them regularly. Thanks so much!
Dave Ragusa says
Mr. Becker, this is a wonderful article. The truth of every part of your list is undeniable. I continue to enjoy your work, and find it has a lot of relevance in a world that can some days seem a little crazy. Thank you.
joshua becker says
Thank you for the encouraging words. I appreciate them very much.
Lydia says
What a profound write up. Very distinct and helpful
Cheri Kirkpatrick says
I recently left my job and my title to pursue a better balance of time with my family and to focus on what’s truly important in life. I am finding gratitude and peace with my decision each day, and your articles and insights are tremendously helpful in my new journey. Thank you for helping me discover a new perspective that is freeing my life in so many ways.
veronica says
I agree with everything in the post. It is how I try to govern myself each day (some days succeeding better than others). However, anyone following this path should be aware that, in today’s world, you will not stand out from the crowd nor be considered distinguished. You will get lost in the crowd and you will finish last. That’s just the reality of North American society today. Having said that, I still prefer to finish last than to deviate from this path.
joshua becker says
Finish last? Depends what race you’re running I guess.
That being said, thanks for the comment. However I disagree significantly that living like this will get you lost in the pack.
steveark says
Such good advice. Its how I tried to live and its been a great ride so far. I especially tried to help advance the careers of those that were competing with me at work. They did not always do the same but taking the high moral ground felt right and in the end I was rewarded because the people above me and around me knew they could always trust me. They named one of the streets in our 430 acre complex after me, I changed it immediately and named it after one of our first line supervisors, a former hourly guy who had recently died. To me he was the distinguished one.
Jojen says
wow, you must be proud of yourself. And how generous of you let us know that you changed the name of the street to someone else who was hourly, not like you. You sure are a great example, and so humble and morally superior, especially when you said that you tried to help advance other people’s careers when they didn’t do the same. Wow you are a better person. Congratulations. I approve you.