When decluttering expert Marie Kondo published her ground-breaking book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, hordes of grateful, stuff-encumbered readers around the world seized particularly on her question “Does it spark joy?”
That was the criterion Kondo proposed for deciding whether to keep something. Does an item in your possession give you a little thrill when you hold it in your hands? If so, hang on to it. If not, then So long, mustard-colored cardigan with the leather buttons.
Suddenly, it seemed like everyone who was flirting with the notion of decluttering their homes began talking about joy-sparks. Surely, in Kondo’s simple question was the razor to slice through indecision about what to keep and what to toss when pursuing a simpler lifestyle.
End of story. Or is it?
Let me begin by saying that, to me, any voice calling us to own fewer possessions is a welcome voice.
In America, we consume twice as many material goods as we used to 50 years ago. Over the same period, the size of the average American home has nearly tripled, and today that average home contains about 300,000 items.
Most homes contain more televisions than people. About 25 percent of two-car garages don’t have room to park even one car inside them, and still one out of every 11 American households rents off-site storage—the fastest-growing segment of the commercial real estate industry over the past four decades. Meanwhile, home organization, trying to find places for all our excess belongings, is now an $8 billion industry.
We’re at material overload and it isn’t fun like it looks in the commercials.
We live in a society where families are chronically stressed, tired, and rushed, with our excessive possessions compounding (if not creating) the problems. IKEA chief Steve Howard may have let a secret slip when he said that in the western world we’ve reached “peak home furnishings.”
The de-clutter, de-own movement is rapidly catching on, as evidenced, for example, by the popularity of Tiny Houses and the growth of organizations such as the National Association of Professional Organizers and the National Association of Senior Move Managers.
My family became converts to minimalism in 2008 after I wasted a beautiful Saturday morning cleaning out my garage, and a neighbor, seeing my frustration, made the casual comment “Maybe you don’t need to own all that stuff.” As I surveyed the heap of dusty things piled up in my driveway, out of the corner of my eye I noticed my son playing alone on the swing set in the backyard. And right then I had a life-changing realization:
Excess possessions do not bring extra happiness into life; even worse, they distract us from the things that do!
Today we live in a smaller house with only a third of the possessions we used to have. And we couldn’t be happier now that we have more money, more time, and more energy for the things that matter most.
Along the way, I’ve seen how Kondo’s trademark filter has prompted significant decluttering efforts both here and abroad. I’m thankful for that. Yet I can’t help but bristle at the phrasing because the question “Does it spark joy?” may actually rob tidying up of its fullest potential in our lives.
Specifically, we get three things wrong when we evaluate our possessions only by asking whether they spark joy or not.
1. We place our own happiness above everything else and continue to define it in terms of our possessions. Unfortunately, when the predominant question in our mind is “Does this make me happy?” we routinely fall short of actually realizing our happiness. In fact, recent research points to the biological fact that the best way to discover happiness is to help bring it about in someone else’s life.
2. Kondo’s suggested focus does not cull our consumeristic tendencies. Owning less is great, but wanting less is even better. Once we overcome the pull of consumption in our lives, we are free to pursue other passions. Unfortunately, the question “Does it spark joy?” does little to rewire our thinking in that regard. After all, when we’re standing in the department store, many things we pick up spark joy. That’s why we leave with so many of them in our shopping carts.
3. The filter may improve the peacefulness of our surroundings, but it does little to bend the trajectory of our lives. It rarely causes us to evaluate the motivations within that caused the clutter to build in the first place. And when we do not diagnose the cause of our clutter problem, we are bound to repeat it.
So let me propose an alternative question for us to ask ourselves when we’re making the hold/release call on any particular item in our possession. Rather than asking, “Does it spark joy?” let’s begin asking:
Does it help me fulfill a greater purpose with my life?
As I see it, we should be thinking about not just what we own but why we want to own it. What is our goal in life, anyway? What are we hoping to accomplish?
Sure, some people may only be interested in the pursuit of personal pleasure by acquiring as much stuff as possible, but I believe they represent a small minority. Instead, most of us desire to make a selfless contribution of some kind to a world that’s swelling with needs.
Several years ago, my wife, Kim, and I created a nonprofit called The Hope Effect that is changing orphan care by providing solutions that mimic the family. We would never have pursued this interest of ours if minimalism hadn’t freed up the time and money to do it. I’d still be spending my Saturdays cleaning and organizing. But today our lives are permanently different, and so are the lives of a growing number of parentless children around the world.
Orphan care is not everybody’s passion. But whatever others feel they were put on the planet to do, some of their possessions are either directly or indirectly helping them accomplish it, while others are holding them back. It makes the best sense to keep what aligns with their goal in life and get rid of the rest.
So when you’re holding one of your possessions in your hands, ask yourself, Does it help me fulfill my purpose? Does it help me craft a lifestyle in which I am able to build relationships and care for others, or might I be able to use my time, money, and energy in better ways?
Clear away obstacles one by one. Then advance toward your goal.
There’s a big difference between tidying up your home and freeing up your life. Instead of merely sparking some joy within yourself, light a fire in the world.
V says
I think the Kondo method is a good first step. It is an exercise in looking at our possessions objectively. We see our things as extensions of ourselves or whomever gave us the item, and this is why it is so HARD to get rid of things. It feels like we’re throwing away a part of ourselves, or putting another person in the trash. When we step back and detach ourselves from our possessions, we can see them for what they are. That teapot isn’t Great Aunt Martha, it’s just a teapot. Great Aunt Martha is in my heart, not on my countertop. Maybe memories of Great Aunt Martha spark joy in my heart, but her teapot doesn’t so it can go. It is very important to make this distinction.
But the Kondo method has its limits when it comes to minimalism. I really liked where you said: “when we’re standing in the department store, many things we pick up spark joy. That’s why we leave with so many of them in our shopping carts.”
Stuff makes us happy! The problem isn’t the stuff, it’s our hearts and minds. We have to re-train them to find joy in PEOPLE, not items. Until our minds are renewed, we’ll continue to find joy in stuff and decluttering will be an exercise in futility.
I tried to help my mother declutter using the Kondo method, but almost EVERYTHING sparked joy for her. That was precisely why she was in that mess in the first place!
Kay says
V., that’s exactly the problem I battle–too many things “spark joy” while I’m in the store, so I bring them home, only to have to return them shortly thereafter when the spark of “joy” wears off.
B says
Excellent! This is how I perceived Kondo’s book to be. I personally thought it was creepy to ask something while I am holding it, “does it spark joy?”. Of course it does! Otherwise I would have not bought it. I not realize I do not buy things because it sparks joy, I buy them because they are functional and are purposeful. THINGS don’t bring me joy, relationships do.
Joshua, I did not read your article and think that you “put down” Marie Kondo. Your article was on point. If I kept all my parents’ “stuff” because it sparked joy, I would have a house overflowing with “stuff”. I choose memories that I keep in my brain about the relationship I had with them (a wonderful one!), not their stuff that I cannot take with me, or that my children don’t want. Thank you for this!
Lel says
Hi Joshua! I may have to disagree with the title above – that it is a wrong decluttering question. I feel that it is a strong statement and while I was reading it, I couldn’t help but feel bad for Ms. Kondo. I’ve been trying to become a minimalist since 2012 (thanks the inspiration I get from your blog) and my journey has been quite challenging. One of the books which helped me along the way is Marie Kondo’s book to help me start again. I feel that the question “Does it spark joy?” actually helped me “deown” and be left with things that truly add value to my life. For me, it was getting down to what I truly value and speaks to my heart, not just what I think I should keep or what I think should what I need as a minimalist. The question posed, for me, was a way not to judge myself because of my preference – it is actually discovering more of myself – towards the authentic life I’m meaning to pursue (instead of copying the lives of other minimalists whom I admire).
Perhaps, by asking, “Does it spark joy?” can lead us then to ask ourselves, does it help me fullfill a greater purpose with my life? Because if something (like an art, or a sentimental item, that may not be practical at all, but lifts my spirit up, and as a consequence, I am more pleasing, I have more positive energy, then such item which sparks joy in my heart can actually help fullfill a greater purpose in mylife. :)
Lel says
P.S.
I believe the question “does it spark joy?” refers to the item being decided upon if it would be kept or let go in the process of decluttering – and not to an item being purchased. At least that’s how I understood it.
Also, for me, the question may be not be final. I would add, is this item essential to the life I’m building from now on? Will it truly add value to my life?
And…I agree with the statement:
Owning less is great, but wanting less is even better.
And…I’m looking forward to tidying up my home and freeing up my life for the things that truly matter.
Natalie Cone says
Reposting this on my blog! Thanks for writing this.
Pamela says
INSIGHT! Thank you, Joshua, for providing a way to consider possessions that is more meaningful to some of us. Your article was exceptionally helpful for me as I turn my life in a different direction in my 50’s.
Helena Sorensen Aman says
I agree with the above comments. I think Kondo was aiming at a slightly different goal, and if you have no idea what you really need or want or love, it’s good to begin by asking those questions about joy. I think far too many people are so divorced from their hearts that it takes a period of intense thought and reflection (and possibly holding every item they own in their hands) to get back in touch with them.
I also love that you’re taking that question about joy to a deeper level. Yours is a more advanced question, better suited to those who have paused and taken stock of their stuff and their desires. It’s a tricky one, too, because there are paintings and pictures and rugs in my house that contribute nothing to the world or to my “greater purpose.” Then again, they add beauty, and that’s something I feel strongly about. Hmmm.
In any case, I’m reading Clutterfree with Kids and very much enjoying it. I appreciate your points about teaching our children to live a countercultural life. Yes. Let’s do more of that. How fun!
Looking forward to finishing the book. Thank you for your words, your challenges, your message. They are much needed.
Haviland says
I am disappointed that, in your efforts to light a fire in the world, you have chosen to denigrate Marie’s efforts to spark joy. In the commercial (revenue producing) aspect of your missions, one could argue that you and Marie are direct competitors. But although your approaches and objectives may be somewhat different, you are both engaged in a movement to bring about positive change in people’s lives. Stepping on her work in this way reflects poorly on you, and is simply unnecessary.
Elizabeth says
Haviland:
Your comments are exactly how I felt upon reading ““Does It Spark Joy?” Is the Wrong Decluttering Question.””
Though I can certainly see what Joshua was intending to do, the delivery was way off.
I believe there are different stages or steps one takes to achieve minimalist status, if that is your goal, but saying that it is the “wrong decluttering question” was not the way to make your point.
Joy says
Let’s give Joshua a break here… Marie’s book has it’s place and so does Joshua’s book/blog. Take what you want from each and discard which does not work for you. And that ‘sparks joy’ for me.
Jennifer Nethery says
Agree, no need for negative comments about Kondo. I read both her books and enjoyed both. I have been a regular reader of Josh’s blog and took the Uncluttered course and purchased your latest book. I am really disappointed in your comments, Josh.
Sewbiwan says
Well said, I agree. I’ve struggled with minimalism for years, but it was only after beginning to use the Konmari method on my house (I’m currently in the middle of the process) that I began to really make progress. I’ve been reading sites like this for ages, but it was Kondo’s book that helped me move toward my goals. I’m really disappointed in this professional backbiting. What a shame. And the points suggest that the book wasn’t even read.
FrugalFingers says
I enjoyed her book from an interested point of view, but I modified her ideas for my already minimalist lifestyle. I just wanted rid of as much as possible. Though my comfy undies spark lots of Joy!
Judy says
TMI :)
Amy@MoreTimeThanMoney says
Yes. I love this!
The Life Changing Magic of Tidying up is about just that, how to have a tidier, less cluttered home – it’s not about minimalism and it can actually fuel consumerism. I’m in a number of decluttering groups and so often there are conversations along the lines of “I decluttered all my towels because they didn’t spark joy, which new towels should I purchase?” While we still labour under the believe that the fluffiness, or otherwise, of our towels makes a real difference to personal fulfilment we haven’t made much progress!
What you say really resonates with me. Earlier this year, my husband and I considered the idea of extending our home. Yes, greater living space would “spark joy” – no question about it. However, we decided against it.
To extend our home would’ve also meant extending our mortgage. Sure, we could afford it, especially if I ditched my very part-time job at a not-for-profit for something “better”. Would this house extension help to fulfil our purpose. NO, it would just mean less family time, increased financial pressure and a need to seek work based on money, rather than meaning.
What I love about your book The More of Less is your discussion of consumerism. It’s the heart of the problem, making changes at this level is where the real change will happen, but very few authors in this space address it as plainly and honestly.
That doesn’t mean that I didn’t find The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up helpful (and also humorous, although I’m not sure that was intended). As a lifelong messy person, she had some very practical suggestions (a place for everything and everything in it’s place, stored things so they are easy to put away rather than easy to get to) that I’ve implemented to good effect.
Kate says
Great article Joshua! I thought exactly the same when I read Marie Kondo’s book. Instead, I often ask myself the question ‘what function or purpose does this item have and how does it fit in with my core values?’. For example, my toolkit doesn’t give me a spark of joy, but it’s functional and helps me carry out DIY tasks, which fits in with my belief that we should mend not discard.
Beverly says
Kondo covers the issue of functional items which may not spark joy per se but the outcome of their use does, so the hammer as an object may not spark joy but the use of it in repairing, building or even just allowing me to place a beautiful picture on my wall does.
Angela Woodford says
I agree with Beverly (above). My potato peeler may not spark much joy, but the part it plays in the preparation of a delicious meal does! The old photo of my parents’ wedding serves no purpose. It doesn’t do anything for my core values, but the fact that it was taken in 1932, I can admire my mother’s wedding dress and feel that there was a brief period when they were happy together – well yes, that does spark joy. So I’m with Marie here.
Ula Archer says
In my opinion, Marie Kondo’s book and the question can add something good to people’s lives and to the minimalism/conscious living movements.
I’m a minimalist for years and I have really few possessions. When I’ve read Kondo’s book for the first time, I didn’t understand it. It wasn’t for me. This year for some reason I’ve read it once again and now her words spoke to me (even if I don’t agree with every word she wrote).
I needed the reflection about my belongings and do they spark joy. My items were well chosen, they were tools. But I wasn’t thinking in terms if I like them. It was a cold relation with objects. After asking myself about the joy and considering other Kondo’s thoughts, now I see many of my belongings as partners, “friends”. Not in terms of pleasure, rather in terms of having companionship/help/tools on the way to my goals and my purpose. I’ve started to like my items and to be grateful for them.
So maybe the Kondo’s question isn’t good as the first question when someone wants to start a simpler life. But then, on the way, this question can bring good changes.
Lynne says
I can’t help but think you are comparing apples and oranges. Kondo about tidying and decluttering. You are about anti-consumerism and minimalism. She is not pushing minimalism and therefore I think it’s a bit unkind to belittle what is actually benefiting a lot of people for who minimalism is not their goal. Many, like myself, move forward onto the minimalist/simpler life pathway from the point that Kondo gets us to. But I’m not sure I would have got their without the springboard that she provided. Speaking for myself I don’t like seeing professionals in one field putting down professionals in a different field. I much prefer to see them recognising the contributions that each field has to offer.
Jeff A. says
I’ll defend Joshua and suggest that he’s not belittling Kondo, but encouraging those who start on the path to minimalism (by de-cluttering) to take the next step and examine the motivations that lead to the accumulation of Stuff in the first place.
As you say, many people start with Kondo and move towards a more complete and thorough view of Stuff/possessions/consumption. De-cluttering is fine, but it’s going to be a lifelong process until people stop cluttering their homes in the first place by examining the purpose of their shopping habits.
Rana says
Woowww!!!! This is the best topic i have read here until now! You really replaced the question with the “right” one. Although her book really helped me, but it could not make me discard as much as i needed because i was emotional asking myself if things make me happy, and most of them did. What makes u happy today doesnt necessary will make u happy tomorrow, and happines comes when you live free, able to do the things you love and staying with the loved ones instead of spending your time on your things. I totally agree with you! Thanks for the great blog?❤
Jer says
I think this is an over simplification of Marie Kondo’s book. She never insinsuated that possessions make us happy. Instead she teaches that if something doesn’t add a little joy then it isn’t worth keeping. She also teaches that a lesson should be learned from everything we decide to discard, which if we are honest with ourself will prevent making the same type of purchase in the future.
Elizabeth says
Jeff, I agree! I enjoyed Ms. Kondos book very much, but there were a couple of things, that (for me)it left wanting. This post hits the nail on the head! I think until we understand why we do things, it is much harder to truly change.
Tamara Green says
I agree, I really liked his thoughts. I am going through this process, and actually talking to a counselor to deal with the issues that have made me externalise my identity…holding on to things to define myself to myself or to hold on to memories, some of which aren’t even happy ones! I am trying to make space for my present life, and his questions are good ones for me. I have been moving ahead since I started using my fabric stash to make rag rugs for refugee families. I can part with the stash of fabric that way and I am making beautiful things from even the least exciting fabrics. The service and the making of art make me feel really good.
Amber says
I agree with your points, Lynne. I felt a little defensive of Marie Kondo when reading the article…I follow Joshua’s advice on minimalism, but I didn’t start out a minimalist. Kondo’s book and method were the catalysts for my extreme declutter and then it was a natural move into minimalism for me.
Tammy says
Amber, I totally agree! Kondo’s book was huge in getting me to do an extreme declutter and to keep decluttering. Also, the categories were helpful to me, rather than a room by room declutter. I believe the honing of the skill to choose what “sparks joy” helps me in my becoming minimalist.
Ann says
I agree.
joshua becker says
Thanks for the comment Lynne, I appreciate the feedback. I tried to go out my way in the post recognizing how Marie Kondo’s question has helped people and thanking for her. While simultaneously, trying to offer a deeper question—a question, that in my opinion, is more important. Maybe I didn’t adequately accomplish both. But that was my goal.
Lisa says
My gist of Kondo’s book eventually (after sorting out all the possessions) was to stop mindless buying… but to mindfully possess only “things” that augment/supplement joy. Thus, “joy” in and of itself, was/is not “created” by a possessions but can augment an already present state of mind.
I agree with you Joshua. Joy is not found nor should we seek to find such in an everyday possession.
Lisa says
(too many grammatical errors….let me try again)
My gist of Kondo’s book (after sorting out all the possessions) eventually was to stop buying mindlessly… and to be increasingly mindful when purchasing only things that augment/supplement joy.
Thus, “joy” in and of itself, is not “created” or “found” in/by a possession but has the ability to augment an already joyful state of mind.
I agree with you, Joshua. I imagine joy is not found nor should we seek to find such in an everyday possession.
Sue says
I agree Lynne. I find it hard to believe that he read Kondo’s book. This is the first post of Joshua’s that I have been disappointed in. For me, after following Kondo’s decluttering steps, I most definitely want less and consume less.
Hjördís says
I could not agree moor, I am a bit dissapointet in todays mail.
To put Kondos method down is werry unflettering and un professional.
Even though the sentense is childe like it is what you put in to your “joy” and if that is for an eksampel acomplising a life goal, of giving to others, then that can be at paremeter so the objekt can spark joy for you.
I think maby it could be wise to reflekt on what you whant to acomplish by writing this mail to the group.
It is laking a positiv effekt for me
Jennifer Nethery says
Well said. I agree.
Kate R says
I agree with Lynne. The brilliance of the “spark joy” notion is that people are encouraged to decide what to KEEP, instead of focusing on what to declutter. This turnaround helps many people look at their clutter problem from a different viewpoint and can make decluttering a lot easier.
Vivian says
I also felt disappointed in this criticism of Marie Kondo and not because I’m defensive of her – I’ve read her books but I’m not a devotee. As others have pointed out, she is not a minimalist but an organizer and the phrase “Does it spark joy?” is useful not only when evaluating possessions but in a larger context, when evaluating human relationships that may no longer be positive. Worse, this blog entry had the (surely unintended) consequence of sounding like, “we are better than Marie Kondo because we make selfless contributions to the world” followed by a plug for the Hope Project. Ouch! There’s room in the world of right-sizing for different methodologies and if Marie’s message positively motivates people to BEGIN reassessing their belongings, then it’s a good influence.