When decluttering expert Marie Kondo published her ground-breaking book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, hordes of grateful, stuff-encumbered readers around the world seized particularly on her question “Does it spark joy?”
That was the criterion Kondo proposed for deciding whether to keep something. Does an item in your possession give you a little thrill when you hold it in your hands? If so, hang on to it. If not, then So long, mustard-colored cardigan with the leather buttons.
Suddenly, it seemed like everyone who was flirting with the notion of decluttering their homes began talking about joy-sparks. Surely, in Kondo’s simple question was the razor to slice through indecision about what to keep and what to toss when pursuing a simpler lifestyle.
End of story. Or is it?
Let me begin by saying that, to me, any voice calling us to own fewer possessions is a welcome voice.
In America, we consume twice as many material goods as we used to 50 years ago. Over the same period, the size of the average American home has nearly tripled, and today that average home contains about 300,000 items.
Most homes contain more televisions than people. About 25 percent of two-car garages don’t have room to park even one car inside them, and still one out of every 11 American households rents off-site storage—the fastest-growing segment of the commercial real estate industry over the past four decades. Meanwhile, home organization, trying to find places for all our excess belongings, is now an $8 billion industry.
We’re at material overload and it isn’t fun like it looks in the commercials.
We live in a society where families are chronically stressed, tired, and rushed, with our excessive possessions compounding (if not creating) the problems. IKEA chief Steve Howard may have let a secret slip when he said that in the western world we’ve reached “peak home furnishings.”
The de-clutter, de-own movement is rapidly catching on, as evidenced, for example, by the popularity of Tiny Houses and the growth of organizations such as the National Association of Professional Organizers and the National Association of Senior Move Managers.
My family became converts to minimalism in 2008 after I wasted a beautiful Saturday morning cleaning out my garage, and a neighbor, seeing my frustration, made the casual comment “Maybe you don’t need to own all that stuff.” As I surveyed the heap of dusty things piled up in my driveway, out of the corner of my eye I noticed my son playing alone on the swing set in the backyard. And right then I had a life-changing realization:
Excess possessions do not bring extra happiness into life; even worse, they distract us from the things that do!
Today we live in a smaller house with only a third of the possessions we used to have. And we couldn’t be happier now that we have more money, more time, and more energy for the things that matter most.
Along the way, I’ve seen how Kondo’s trademark filter has prompted significant decluttering efforts both here and abroad. I’m thankful for that. Yet I can’t help but bristle at the phrasing because the question “Does it spark joy?” may actually rob tidying up of its fullest potential in our lives.
Specifically, we get three things wrong when we evaluate our possessions only by asking whether they spark joy or not.
1. We place our own happiness above everything else and continue to define it in terms of our possessions. Unfortunately, when the predominant question in our mind is “Does this make me happy?” we routinely fall short of actually realizing our happiness. In fact, recent research points to the biological fact that the best way to discover happiness is to help bring it about in someone else’s life.
2. Kondo’s suggested focus does not cull our consumeristic tendencies. Owning less is great, but wanting less is even better. Once we overcome the pull of consumption in our lives, we are free to pursue other passions. Unfortunately, the question “Does it spark joy?” does little to rewire our thinking in that regard. After all, when we’re standing in the department store, many things we pick up spark joy. That’s why we leave with so many of them in our shopping carts.
3. The filter may improve the peacefulness of our surroundings, but it does little to bend the trajectory of our lives. It rarely causes us to evaluate the motivations within that caused the clutter to build in the first place. And when we do not diagnose the cause of our clutter problem, we are bound to repeat it.
So let me propose an alternative question for us to ask ourselves when we’re making the hold/release call on any particular item in our possession. Rather than asking, “Does it spark joy?” let’s begin asking:
Does it help me fulfill a greater purpose with my life?
As I see it, we should be thinking about not just what we own but why we want to own it. What is our goal in life, anyway? What are we hoping to accomplish?
Sure, some people may only be interested in the pursuit of personal pleasure by acquiring as much stuff as possible, but I believe they represent a small minority. Instead, most of us desire to make a selfless contribution of some kind to a world that’s swelling with needs.
Several years ago, my wife, Kim, and I created a nonprofit called The Hope Effect that is changing orphan care by providing solutions that mimic the family. We would never have pursued this interest of ours if minimalism hadn’t freed up the time and money to do it. I’d still be spending my Saturdays cleaning and organizing. But today our lives are permanently different, and so are the lives of a growing number of parentless children around the world.
Orphan care is not everybody’s passion. But whatever others feel they were put on the planet to do, some of their possessions are either directly or indirectly helping them accomplish it, while others are holding them back. It makes the best sense to keep what aligns with their goal in life and get rid of the rest.
So when you’re holding one of your possessions in your hands, ask yourself, Does it help me fulfill my purpose? Does it help me craft a lifestyle in which I am able to build relationships and care for others, or might I be able to use my time, money, and energy in better ways?
Clear away obstacles one by one. Then advance toward your goal.
There’s a big difference between tidying up your home and freeing up your life. Instead of merely sparking some joy within yourself, light a fire in the world.
Jayme Osbourne says
I usually love your posts, but I don’t like this one. Try to focus on your points and make a headline out of your point, rather than compare your point with the point of someone else in a negative fashion. I saw that you tried to mention Marie Kondo in a positive way, however it’s too little too late after you wrote a title that basically demeaned her work.
Tony W says
I believe Marie Kondo’s question is a universal one. It speaks to the people that are ready to hear it. It then becomes a manifestation of the person’s personality.
For example, different things spark joy in a selfish person as opposed to a giving person. Her question allows those who do not want to change the world at the time and those that do to feel welcome at the same time.
The is room for everyone to improve as many portions of their lives as they like.
Sarah Lake says
Like most respondents here, I think I’ve read more than one book on minimalism and simplifying our lives. I don’t think I’m the only person either, who read Kondo first. We look around at slightly different takes on the same idea because we’re interested and want to find the best path for ourselves. That’s how it should be without feeling that we need to denigrate one author over another.
Incidentally, I read Spark Joy with a slightly different take on what Kondo is saying from others who have responded here. Isn’t she saying that the, “I love everything in the department store,” reaction is a very shallow one? And that we need a much deeper response to physical objects before we commit ourselves to keeping them or having them in our homes in the first place?
Having lived in Japan, a country with very much smaller homes than American ones and with a traditional aesthetic of minimalism and mindfulness, I very much understand Kondo’s message. Whilst not every aspect of it may transfer easily to the US and UK (where I live) I am certain that its values benefit us all and can live alongside others’ writing.
Michelle says
My favorite line in your comments today was
Owning less is great, but wanting less is even better.
Susie says
There you have it.
Joy says
Exactly. Spot on.
Hanna says
I’m surprised at some of the defensive comments here. I don’t think Joshua was being at all “belittling” or disrespectful – he is just suggesting that we dig a little bit deeper. I read Kondo’s book, and I think there is a lot of value in her method, but it is not above constructive criticism, and it is certainly not the end of the conversation about decluttering and simplifying. Joshua is offering a different perspective here and challenging us to look a bit deeper, at the process and at ourselves. I see nothing wrong with that – in fact, we should welcome it. No one person/idea is the gospel of minimalism and I think we should always keep questioning ideas, even – perhaps especially – the ones that inspire us the most.
B says
Excellent
Kate Daniel says
I’d like to add that it’s the “gospel of minimalism” that is exactly the issue… and the problem. MK’s book is not about minimalism; it is about surrounding yourself only with things you truly love, that actively uplift you. This has a measurable, demonstrable effect in the lives of people who sincerely do her process and inquire into their feelings about each object in their lives in the way that she suggests. If you think many things you see in stores “spark joy,” then I think you are not feeling into it deeply enough. Why add ‘more’ if you don’t need it? Why are you shopping? Everyone’s minimalism does – and should – look different from others’ because we are all different. I personally have high – perhaps unrealistic – hopes that minimalism will change our world. But if you start to insist that it can only look one way, that only one level of minimalism is ‘right,’ then you’re shutting people out of the conversation and the process. What about people who honestly, sincerely, don’t feel ‘burdened’ by their home and possessions? Minimalism has much to offer these folks in perhaps learning to live a more meaningful, rich life. No one can possibly know what’s best for another. We can only share what’s enhanced our own life and made a difference in our personal experience. Please don’t make minimalism into some kind of religion. It’s much bigger than that.
Hanna says
“Please don’t make minimalism into some kind of religion. It’s much bigger than that.”
I’m sorry that’s what you took away from my comment, because that certainly wasn’t my intent. I am very interested in and inspired my minimalism and I would never attempt to reduce it in that way. Perhaps I could have phrased it better, but my point was that we shouldn’t act as if any belief is above being challenged or questioned.
I think it’s great that this piece has opened up a dialogue, and I wasn’t trying to offer an opinion on whether Joshua or Marie is “right” here; my comment was in response to those accusing Joshua of being malicious and attacking Kondo as a person. I didn’t see any of that in his article, and I think it’s important that we separate the challenging of an *idea* from the challenging of a *person*. While I can see how people might be put off by his use of the word “wrong” in the title, I think he was just speaking about his own truth and his own experience. It was the “wrong” question – for him.
Andrea Allen says
I agree, Hanna.
Sylvia says
The title of Kondo’s book suggests the power of her method. It’s called the “Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up”. If you read the book and apply her method you will see big changes in your life. It’s not just about the stuff!! If you think it is, you’ve missed the point. Using her method led me to stop eating animals. My daughter broke up with her boyfriend. These are the type of results Kondo sees with her clients.
S says
I’ve lost 70lbs since December 2016 and found a great joy in a process that I always considered a necessary evil- cooking. Now, cooking encompasses the whole family, from the choosing of recipes, to the shopping, to the prepping and preparing. Cooking is now a joy!
Juli says
This is wonderful. I am in the process of downsizing to a small 300 square foot house, and I read Marie Kondo’s book looking for inspiration on how to maintain simplicity and organization in such a small space. While there were some good tips (I love her method of folding clothes), I too was unsure about the question “Does this spark joy?” This article nails why. Joy isn’t found in things, at least not lasting joy. Thank you for keeping the focus on the true sources of happiness in life!
Ann says
As has been said, there is nothing worse that someone scoring points off another. To paraphrase the author’s own words, did this article need to use another’s work to make the point or was the ‘spark of joy’ thing a way to produce a lazy piece of journalism? Or maybe it was all about telling us how great he and his wife are and ‘ spark of joy’ was just the opening? Again on the theme of self examining why does the author “bristle” as he calls it on hearing words that have proved helpful and important to others? If this type of nonsense continues my subscription will be toast
Vince says
I know in the past that anytime I bashed others it was usually a pathetic attempt to build myself up…but others saw through that. I acted that way out of jealousy and insecurity. I am whole now…so I can uplift others.
Vivian says
Vince, I commend you for your honesty! AND for reading Kondo’s book ;-)
Vince says
Well if that’s the case it backfired, because now I will go out and buy Marie’s book. to check it out.
Annie says
Maybe you should get it at the library in case it doesn’t spark joy lol.
Joy says
I like that approach… people, lighten up here! I am thinking of all the poor folks who have just gone through a hurricane and flooding in TX and FL… I am sure they are going through such emotional and financial turmoil and would LOVE to be able to hold a few items and ask if it ‘sparked joy’. Let’s put this in perspective.
Darlene says
I question if Joshua or some of the commentators have read her books? Before you ever start to tidy there is another process that you go through, this process is a thoughtful consideration of the life you want. Then the answer to does it spark joy, relates to the bigger vision. If for you it is minimalism then each item would be considered by – does this work with my desire for minimalism? Because for you joy = minimalism.
Jean | DelightfulRepast.com says
Darlene, well said! Though I have not read books by either author, I’ve listened to them here and there and see merit in both. I’ve been a type of minimalist for far longer than the minimalist movement has existed, and I was disappointed to see this post criticizing another method. It really isn’t an either/or type of thing. People can pick and choose from lots of sources. I hope Joshua will learn from this that such negativity only detracts from what he is trying to accomplish.
nancy says
Thanks for saying this so well.
Judy says
I read her book…it wasn’t for me ; )
I love to browse Goodwill—AFTER I drop off a load of donations. Not to buy… but it’s a fun treat for me, since I rarely shop and also because the items are so unique. Yes, I’ve been tempted to get this or that—“Grandma had one just like this!” — BUT, if I got everything that sparked joy, my house would be a hot mess. I’ve learned that I can look at a “unique treasure” and enjoy it right where it’s at, then I can put it back where I found it.