As we minimize possessions, how do we overcome the guilt of money spent on things in the past?
As part of Uncluttered, I answer lots of questions from participants as they seek to own less. I’ve answered thousands over the years.
And by far, one of the most common questions I hear is, “What do I do about all the money that I wasted on things? How do I get rid of things that I spent so much money on?”
It is a significant roadblock for many people and I want to try to answer that question for you today.
I’d like to accomplish in three ways: First, by introducing an Accounting principle, and then by reminding each of us about two truths about life that are incredibly important.
First, the Accounting principle of Sunk Cost.
In college, at the University of Nebraska, I learned about the sunk cost trap (my major was Finance).
Sunk cost is an accounting term that has countless applications to the way we live. The principle is this:
A sunk cost refers to money that has already been spent and which cannot be recovered. It should be excluded from future business decisions because the cost will remain the same regardless of the outcome of a decision.
It looks a little something like this. Let’s say I spent $10,000 on a business machine to do a task three years ago. But now, there is a new machine to accomplish the task that only costs $5,000. It does the work better, faster, more efficiently, and higher quality. It is unwise to think exclusively, “I am not going to buy the new machine because I spent so much money on the old machine.”
The principle also applies to life outside of business. Correctly applied and considered, the sunk cost principle is incredibly freeing.
Just because we wasted a lot of time and energy and money on things in the past, doesn’t mean we need to hold onto them if they’re not contributing to us living our best life today. Don’t cling to a past mistake just because you spent a long time making it.
Second, two truths about life to help us overcome guilt.
1. We cannot change the past.
We simply cannot go back and redo any events from our past. There are countless moments and decisions I wish I could undo, but the reality of life is that is not possible—ever.
When it comes to overcoming the guilt of an expensive purchase, unless the tags are still on the item, you cannot go back and unpurchase the item. It is done. It is over. It happened. And nothing is going to change that fact.
Which makes the second truth about life even more important:
2. We cannot change the past, but we can always learn from it.
When we learn life lessons from our past mistakes and determine to not make them again in the future, we begin to redeem the past. It begins to serve us and contributes to a brighter and better future.
We cannot undo the purchase decision, but the money becomes less wasted when we learn a lesson from it. If you feel guilt in removing possessions that you spent considerable money on in the past, learn from that guilt. Don’t allow it to paralyze you, but learn from it and move forward in freedom.
And when you remove those items, look for the best places for them to go. Maybe someone else can use them, maybe they can be sold or recycled, but don’t continue to carry that guilt and burden into the future.
There is not a doubt in my mind you will love owning less. You’ll find more money and more time and more energy and more focus. You will be able to live a more fulfilled life focused on things that matter most. To get there, almost all of us need to overcome the money that we wasted on things in the past.
Choose to live for the invisible and the eternal—not physical things that perish, spoil, and fade.
Your local domestic violence shelter is a great place to donate clothes for adults and kids, as well as kids games, toys, books and even electronics such as gaming systems. Women and kids come to shelters with very little so everything helps! Also consider donating household items to organizations that help the unhoused transition to housing. They need dishes, towels, lamps, all kinds of stuff.
True. I don’t feel guilty anymore about what I use to spend. Now that I donate it to a good cause it makes me feel good inside.
Agreed. Why not also fill a lightly used purse or backpack you no longer use with toiletries etc. These small comforts mean so much and declutter your closet.
We have reduced our “stock” by a lot and still have a way to go. We have found it very easy to give away items on our neighborhood social media page. It is nice to help neighbors who need things and it is easy and safe. Mentally it is much easier to part with things this way. I ask them to call or text me with their request and I save the items for them. It avoids people racing to your house and being disappointed.
Oh yes, talk about guilt. The guilt over getting rid of my parents stuff. So many things to sort, recycle, sell, donate or keep instead of just trashing them. It makes me sad but I think they were intended for me but I don’t have use for them. I have always been a minimalist so all these things they left me stress me out. I have to tell myself that it’s the memories that count and not possessions.
I always try to find ways to give my things to people who can use them or have yard sales. I love minimalism and your articles!
Oh, yes! I went through the same thing with my parents belongings.
I am 70 years old. I help people declutter and they make a donation to charity. If they give me money, I give it to charity. Live small, save your money, and retire early. No one needs a basement full of yarn or DVD’s.
Well done & well said =)
Wonderful!! I want to be like this all my life but have not been able. At 23 I fell the need to travel light, but circumstances made me keep things from loved ones that have passed. I will try again, I’m 56 now. I feel that if I can live clutter free for the remaining if my time, I would have succeeded in my initial intentions. Thank you for sharing.
Dear Joshua,
My son and I were discussing the odd choices people make. My husband and I have always lived on very little. We know people who have gone bankrupt over credit card debt. When we once had a large hospital bill, we arranged to pay a little every month to pay it off. It took some years. A friend put a large hospital bill on a credit card and lost her home.
Getting some serious Rafiki vibes from the can’t-change-the-past-but-you-can-learn-from-it part
Has anyone thought of taking their extra silverware mugs plates they don’t use to their office and leave it there. My colleagues and I are often grateful to find them at hand
Maria – I didn’t know there are so many different thrift stores. This is a very resourceful list. I also think hospices take donation as well as hospitals. I don’t have much for them and I don’t think hospices will make a good use of mine. tt is during Xmas that we have bags of clothes that my kids decide to give away, and some toys, they are growing, so a lot and toss away to give and get from the gov. back some pennies for April. Usually really not much at all. I don’t know if anyone get a lot of bucks from the used stuffs except having a yard sale in summer. I am not really a fan. I teach my kids to give to those who don’t have as much as they do.
If you give clothing to charities, many give clothes to shelters or send them abroad. Anything pure cotton or pure wool can be recycled. Cotton can be used in all sorts of crafts, papermaking for one. Wool can be felted and made into many things. Old stained underwear becomes rags. Other scraps can stuff animal toys. Do not
just toss things.