“Owning less is far more beneficial than organizing more.” – Twitter / Facebook
We are a culture drowning in our possessions. We take in more and more (holiday, birthdays, sales, needs), but rarely find opportunity to discard of it. As a result, our homes fill up with so much stuff. And because we believe the best solution is to find organizational tools to manage all of it, we seek out bigger containers or more efficient organizational tips and tricks. But simply organizing our stuff (without removing it) is always only a temporary solution. By definition, organizing our possessions is an action that must be repeated over and over and over again.
At its heart, organizing is simply rearranging. And though we may find storage solutions today, we are quickly forced to find new ones as early as tomorrow. Additionally, organizing (without getting rid of our stuff and decluttering) has some other major shortcomings that are rarely considered:
- It doesn’t benefit anyone else. The possessions we rarely use sit on shelves in our basements, attics, and garages… even while some of our closest friends desperately need them.
- It doesn’t solve our debt problems. It never addresses the underlying issue that we just buy too much stuff. In fact, many times, the act of rearranging our stuff even costs us more as we purchase containers, storage units, or larger homes to house it.
- It doesn’t turn back our desire for more. The simple act of organizing our things into boxes, plastic bins, or extra closets doesn’t turn back our desire to purchase more things. The culture-driven inclination to find happiness in our possessions is rarely thwarted in any way through the process.
- It doesn’t force us to evaluate our lives. While rearranging our stuff may cause us to look at each of our possessions, it does not force us to evaluate them—especially if we are just putting them in boxes and closing the lids. On the other hand, removing possessions from our home forces questions of passion, values, and what’s truly most important to us.
- It accomplishes little in paving the way for other changes. Organizing may provide a temporary lift to our attitude. It clears a room and subsequently clears our mind, but rarely paves the way for healthy, major lifestyle changes. Our house is too small, our income is too little, and we still can’t find enough time in the day. We may have rearranged our stuff… but not our lives.
On the other hand, the act of getting rid of stuff from our home accomplishes many of those purposes. It is not a temporary solution that must be repeated. It is an action of permanence—once an item has been removed, it is removed completely. Whether we re-sell our possessions, donate them to charity, or give them to a friend, they are immediately put to use by those who need them.
Removing possessions begins to turn back our desire for more as we find freedom, happiness, and abundance in owning less. And removing ourselves from the all-consuming desire to own more creates opportunity for significant life change to take place.
If you’re struggling with how to get rid of stuff, you can:
1. Challenge yourself to remove the unneeded things in your home.
2. Rid yourself of the extra weight in a permanent manner.
3. Carry a trash bag from room-to-room.
4. See how big of a donation pile you can make.
5. Eliminate debt by selling what you no longer need.
It doesn’t matter so much how you remove them, as long as you do. For it is far better to de-own than to always be decluttering.
Johnny says
“Ruthless Purge” I’m due for another one soon. I’m convinced it’s inefficient spending habits. Little knick knacks here and there. A 10 pack, but only need 7… so 3 get stored away. If a Palm tree can drop its branches to reach new heights… so can I.
Chandra Nagarajan says
Woow. This is a good saying. Comparing with a palm tree. Thank You
Sharon says
What to do with all the plastic bags? All the rubber bands and twist ties? All the packets of plastic forks and napkins? I hate throwing these things in the trash.
Alice says
Give yourself amnesty and get them out of your house.
Vivian says
If you shop at a supermarket, they may have a bin where you can drop off clean plastic bags for recycling. Rubber bands and twist ties are usually useful in some way but there’s a limit to how many one can keep, so the extras have to be discarded. Use up the napkins in the utensil packets and to avoid them in the future, make it a point to refuse them. However, if all else fails, I like what Alice said, “give yourself amnesty and get them out of your house.”
Terri Grabenhorst says
When my mom passed it took us 5 siblings a week to clean out her apt. She wasn’t a hoarder and if we wanted stuff she gave it to us before she passed. It was hard throwing things away in the trash but I thought mom is gone and these are her memories not mine. We donated and took a lot of things with us . She loved good kitchen items so I took a lot of those. Still use them!! Don’t feel bad. I’ve been a minimalist my whole life so it won’t too bad for my kids!
Lynn Schwartz says
Yes. My parents, my husband’s mom all passed in about 4 years. Seemed like a continual taking care of things, selling homes. Daunting, taxing, very tiring. But soon we will have a new norm, us.
Ed says
It’s “See how big a donation pile you can make.” Not “See how big of a donation pile you can make.” A grammatical error I often see Americans make.
ME says
Wow. Like it matters to the topic at hand.. No one cares about your nit-picking.
Mo says
I care. I like when I can learn something new and Im glad there are educated people out there to share knowledge. A work in progress.
Astonished Human says
Really?
Mariah says
Can you explain the grammatical reasoning? I would have said that your example: “See how big a donation pile you can make.” was grammatically wrong and would have corrected it if I were an editor.
Owen says
I have been living a minimalist lifestyle for a few years now. Downsized to a 718 square foot house, one car etc.. My new girlfriend of 7 months is just now embracing the same lifestyle as me so we can have a future. In the last week she has donated 22, 13 gallon trash bags of clothes to the salvation army and is decluttering every day for the past week. I sent her a link to this web site and I’m know she will love it.
Deanna Taylor says
I just downloaded the checklist and am looking forward to learning more here. I lost my aunt (who was like a mom/best friend in one) in 2018, and 3 wks later my mom. I just put everything in storage. Out of sight, out of mind. I didn’t want to go through it all and it wasn’t fair that I had to do it all by myself. Then I moved into my own house in 2020 and just stuck everything in two rooms. I got engaged and he died in Nov 21 from Covid. So now I have everyone’s junk that I’m making myself deal with because I refuse to move it all to my new home in 3 wks. Of course, no one will help — my sis only lives 4 blocks from me now. My ADHD/PTSD has gotten a lot worse over the last couple years and it makes it really hard to stay focused and finish a project.
K. Britfeld says
Move on. Call a junk hauler. Recognize that if nobody is willing to help you, you must put on your big girl pants and get the job done yourself. Take pictures of the stuff that means something to you and then give it away. You can always look at the pictures later. It doesn’t help us to live in the past. You will feel a sense of freedom once you start the process of giving away items that other people will be happy to own.
Jennifer in California says
You have my deepest condolences, and I am so proud of you, Deanna. You are facing a tough battle, and you will win it. YOU WILL COME THROUGH THIS. It will just take time, because you are human, and you need time to process, process, process.
Take care of yourself through this process. Healing, decision-making, clearing, (and in my case, praying and crying incessantly, listening to the most encouraging music I could find) happen slowly, surely, and all for your benefit and peace of mind.
Long story short: I had to do the very same thing, only not with COVID or a fiance (I am so sorry for your loss). I lost my mother, brother, father, and daughter all in the span of 11 years. My mother and dad were the “clearinghouse” for both my grandmothers and some relatives– however they didn’t declutter a thing. When they passed, I became the clearinghouse for all of them (their stuff amounted to 4 generations’ and 125 years’ worth of “things”.
It was absolutely the Lord who saved me from drowning in other people’s junk. No human helped me much, except the 1-800-JUNK guys, my 15 full SUV trips to the Salvation Army in SoCal, and about 10 full car trips to the Goodwill in NorCal. My cousin was the realtor who helped me sell the house; my husband did help me move furniture and I sold a few big items on Facebook Marketplace. I did all this while teaching high school full time (some of the teaching was distance-learning from both NorCal and SoCal). I digitized $650 worth of photos when Costco was still digitizing them. Weekly full cans of garbage at the curb for a whole summer (2 months.). These are just big details; a lot of it is a blur. Dad died 3 years ago (Pre-COVID), and I’m still cleaning out everyone’s stuff, but it’s down to manageable now.
Pray for yourself; if you believe in the power of prayer, ask others to pray for you (they might come over and help). Do what you can, and be VERY kind to yourself. Don’t at ALL feel guilty or down on yourself. You are tackling an absolutely herculean task, and you WILL come out of this, Deanna– stronger, better, freer.
I’m thinking of you and praying for your very best success.
Elizabeth Lelchuk says
Bravo Jennifer for your loving and thoughtful response to Deanna. Minimizing and disposing of loved ones’ things comes easier for some than it does others. Only Christ can give peace and He will see His children through the valleys. I’m so glad you said what you did to Deanna. I pray for the both of you.
B. Kind says
Agreed! Definitely much more compassionate to say to one who is clearly grieving than “move on and put on your big girl panties!” 🙄
Elizabeth Lelchuk says
May the Lord bless you and keep you Deanna. I too am so sorry for the loss of your loved ones. Trust in Jesus and He will give you true and everlasting peace. I will be praying for you.
Sandra says
Sorry for your losses, just take it a day at a time and don’t pressure yourself. Maybe you could ask your sister to help you?
Bertha says
When I was told the news of my parents’ death I travelled down to WI and take care of the house. There were a lot of things that were useless, and I put everything in storage which cost me a lot of money. I find myself again in the same state and moved to SC to find calm and a bit of tranquility. I am living in a mobile home and not living in the same city. I am 65 and this change has made me more sensitive to what is expected and what life should bring us. It’s a lot of work to get rid of everything we don’t have. I know money is to be spend and don’t like to buy anymore, only the bare minimum. I don’t miss it. A friend sends me your blog and I became loyal reader. I look forward to reading your posts and seeing more guests’ posts.
Ria says
I would like to thank you for all the helpful strategies this page provides. When my parents passed, I was left in charge of all of their belongings. It was overwhelming but with your suggestions, I was finally able to complete the 4 year task. Now I am decluttering and donating my own items as I would never want my children burdened in the same way. As I select items to donate, I have noticed that most of them were gifts. Many I did not really like but felt obligated to keep. It has been so freeing to let them go and I feel so much better now. I love having more space & less dusting. Less is more for sure! ?
Bri says
Your comment has really started something in me. I too have recently had to empty out my parents house and it was a mammoth task but reading your comment helped me greatly to let go of the stuff that meant absolutely nothing to the family. We all kept something we actually liked from home and the rest went either to the charity shop or the skip. I have now started on my own home getting rid of so much stuff that means nothing to me but was a gift or given to me by someone and I kept them as I felt bad giving them away but not liking them. I have given myself until Christmas/New Year to sort out my own house and get back my spare bedroom which we couldn’t use as it is full of stuff I don’t want anymore and what was the kids playroom which I want as a hobby room and home office.
Pat says
My mom passed away in October of 2021. I was there and was in charge of getting rid of the things in her small apt. She had so much stuff, most of it old. I did not live in the same state so I hired a company and they came and loaded everything up and took it away. I only kept some photos and a small picture I had given her years ago as a momento and her plaque with the star named after her. Everything else went.
Pam says
My sincere condolences for your loss. That must be a difficult year for you. While my parents are still alive, they are almost in their 90s. Sadly we only live once.
Laura says
I really wish I could de-own. Hubby and I have taken care of and lived with my MIL for last 18 yrs so most of my stuff is in garage waiting to move into a house where it can be used on a daily basis.
Now we are getting ready to move and notice that my husband, who sells stuff on eBay, has a hoarding issue. Things he was supposed to sell a year ago are still in our garage. Now there are more of his boxes to move than mine?.
We are going to have to store all of this in a storage unit that we will have to pay an hefty fee for (since rates are high) for a year – we are living with family till we get jobs and a place to live.
I keep looking at all of it- like why am I spending money to move this across the country. Then I just want to set fire to it all and say forget it. ???.
I stopped buying stuff a long time ago. I just don’t want to move what we have. I’m tired of packing.
Kristy says
I’d say give it away or throw it away as soon as possible.
I, too, have lived in 9 states and hauling this crap around now is more than ridiculous. But I got his book, The MORE of less and baby, I could not haul it away fast enough. My home is now more streamlined and not piled away with just stuff. I’d say get rid of it now. The freedom I feel is unparalleled. Like Nike, just do it.
Bri says
Start boxing for the charity shop or skip. You cant hold on to everything. If you hav’nt used it in the last six months you dont need it. Get rid of the lot.
KarenDionne says
I lost my ten year old daughter in 1993 suddenly. I moved into a smaller home so I put all of our things in storage. I paid it for a year thinking that in a year I would be able to handle seeing all of her things. I put in all our photo albums and portraits of the kids on canvas. My daughter’s bedroom set and my hope chest and sewing machine.After a few months the owner called me to ask if he could move my things overhead because he had a chance to rent the garage. I agreed and said I would see him in February to remove everything. When the year was up I found out the owner had died, his wife never knew he rented me the attic and all of our things were gone. The new owner cleaned out and never tried to find me. The kids were heart broken. All of their childhood memories were gone . So i sat them down and explained that the same thing happens in a fire . You lose everything and escape with your life. I explained it was all just stuff and although it can’t be replaced we still have our beautiful memories of life with Connie and nothing can take that away . I feel the same way today. If there ever was a fire I’m taking the pets and that is all that matters.
KC says
That is so beautiful. So sorry for your loss but you are definitely honoring your Daughter ?
Dora. DeZago says
That’s a cool way to look at it . Thank
prabowo says
Great and very beautiful story. It really touches me and inspires me to write more. Thank you.
Shewhoistired says
Thank you for sharing this. I currently living with a family member, whom I’ve been living with all of my life. I’ve been dealing with hoarding (not my belongings). I understand that hoarding is a big issue for individuals. There is something that the individual is battling with. My issue is that I have grown to be very anxious, irritated, isolated and just…forces to give away a lot of my own things. It isn’t that I had a lot of stuff. I solely realized that I cannot control anyone else’s belongings except for my own. That made me declutter a lot of my stuff. I’ve grown to be extra overwhelmed with the hoarding and cutter around me, that I cannot stand to have a certain amount of things in my space. I am constantly getting rid of things, so that I will not become what I’ve been going through. There was always the option of living on my own, but it isn’t easy. I’ve also had in the back of my mind — I am needed here. I am not needed here. I am wanted here just to pay the other half of rent to a place where I have no peace, little say, no privacy, nowhere to store food for me because the individual leaves me no room, I don’t always eat, my eating habits are out of this world, I’m depressed and stressed…living in a room with 4 walks. The rest of the house is where I have ZERO access to. Navigating my way through the house, small spaces.,Why pay rent at a place like that, right? I am thankful that I have a place to lay my head, but my mental health is at risk. I am at the point where I cannot take it anymore. I don’t know where I’m going to live at, but it is mandatory that I leave here. Living with a hoarder, along with other behavior’s is top notch stressful for me. I have to admit that living with a hoarder made me realize that Although I didn’t have loads of belongings, that I had more items that what ONE person needed. That is the only good thing that I can take from this. I’ve forcefully become a person who have to declutter everyday, in order to feel at ease…comfortable. The “normal” amount to have in a room doesn’t feel or look normal to me. It feels that little areas really bother me and I just have to get rid of it. I was never always like this. This is what happens when you live with a hoarder. Hoarding doesn’t solely affect the hoarder. Hoarding effects the people you live with just as bad, if not worse. Now that I am leaving with nowhere to live, it is a must that I declutter to a few clothing and my essential items. Honestly, I feel that 10 outfits is good enough for me. I am tired of clutter, hoarding, decluttering, rearranging, struggling with ether I should keep something or give it away. If I don’t leave now, I will continue putting my health at risk. Stuff, material thing shave had so much control over my life…no more. Not even my own. My mental health and emotional state is on edge. It’s so bad for me, that I don’t care if I have to live in my car for a few weeks to a month. I will be at ease not having to deal with any of this anymore. Parent probably think that I am crazy for just up and leaving, but that is ok. So, thank you for sharing his post. The moments are healthy. Please, good people, keep me in your prayers. Sometimes I feel that my life will be shorten because of the amount of stress. I am tired, overwhelmed. I feel that I have developed a problem because of this. It is time that I do what I must to try and afford to live on my own. Until then, the car I live. I love my family member, but I my mental health means more to me.