In the mid-1800s, stores first began using the imagery of Christmas to boost sales:
- In the early 1800s, department store home magazines started publishing pictures of Christmas family gatherings to boost sales of products.
- Retail stores began using images of Santa Claus in their store windows in the 1840s.
- Macy’s became the first store, in 1862, to have Santa inside their store that children could visit in order to increase foot traffic.
- Coca-Cola began featuring Santa in their advertising in the 1920s.
- The term, Black Friday, caught on nationally in the 1980s to signify the day after Thanksgiving, pre-Christmas shopping frenzy.
- Nowadays, “Christmas creep” is the term used to describe retailers who extend the Christmas shopping season by starting earlier and earlier. Most credit Lowe’s Home Improvement who made it a corporate policy in 2000 to begin displaying Christmas trees in their stores nationwide on October 1 every year.
- And Cyber-Monday was first coined in 2005 as online retailers sought to take advantage of workers shopping habits as they returned to their high-speed Internet connections at the office following the long holiday weekend.
In every case, we have been manipulated by marketers, advertisers, and retailers to shop more and more and more.
The artificial manipulation to change our wants and spending stems from our internal desire to create the perfect holiday experience with magical memories for our family and kids. Shopping promised to meet that need, but only detracts from it.
Retail promises the perfect Christmas, but ruins it instead.
Christmas has always meant family, and loved ones, and home… but ever since the mid-1800s that desire has been hijacked by consumeristic retailers to make money for themselves. Nowadays, Christmas is synonymous with shopping.
But this year, don’t let shopping ruin your holiday season.
I mean, if endless shopping and consumerism were actually improving our holiday season, maybe it would make sense to spend as much as you can. But in reality, it is not adding joy to our families, it is actually distracting from it.
Consider, for just a moment, how “shopping” may actually be detracting from your holiday joy:
1. Shopping is adding financial stress on to our lives.
In the United States, it has been calculated that a quarter of all personal spending takes place during the Christmas/holiday shopping season. In fact, over 1/4 of us will enter the holiday season still paying off debt from last year’s gift shopping. And while you may not be one of the 50% of shoppers who will overspend your holiday budget this year, that person sitting next to you at the holiday table, trying to keep up with your family tradition, is.
2. Shopping adds unnecessary mental stress to the holiday season.
We desire for the holiday season to be one of the most enjoyable seasons of the year. But in reality, “people in the United States are more likely to feel their stress increases rather than decreases during the holidays. The holidays can be a hectic time for many, and a lack of money, a lack of time, and the hype and commercialism of the season causes increased stress for people in this country.”
Shopping is resulting in the exact opposite emotions we desire during this holiday season.
3. Shopping takes time—lots of it during the holidays.
The average consumer expects to spend 25 hours over the next month shopping for gifts, waiting in lines, wrapping those gifts, and eventually returning them after the holidays.
Many will note, correctly so, that the holiday season always feels particularly rushed and hectic. The extra shopping connected to the season is the reason why.
4. Shopping results in additional unmet expectations.
Retailers work hard to promise a perfect Christmas to each of us. If we buy the right gifts, the right decorations, the right tree, the right brand of ham or soda, our holiday season will be unmistakably magical.
But that is very rarely the case. Our shopping produces the opposite effect.
53.1% of people report to receiving unwanted gifts during Christmas. $16 billion is wasted on unwanted gifts every year. And 18% of gifts are never used by the person who receives them. 4% are immediately thrown into the trash.
5. Overshopping sets a dangerous precedent.
I hear from many parents, “How can we change the way we give gifts this year to our children? We give too many gifts each year and want to cut back, but we don’t want them to be disappointed. We don’t see a way out.”
Lifestyle creep is not just for adults… the phenomena exists for children as well. What is set as normal in your family is always difficult to walk back. What may seem like overshopping this year will become the expectation for next year. Even more, it will set the precedent for them when they become parents.
6. Shopping puts focus on the wrong things.
When presents and decorations become our focus and desire, we miss all the blessings right in front of us. Consumerism has a nasty tendency to shift our focus off the good things we possess, and put our desire towards all the things we don’t have.
Whether your holiday season is about family, faith, or both… shopping always distracts from it.
Consumerism makes promises it can never deliver.
And your holidays will be better without it.
We will celebrate Christmas in our home this year. We will exchange gifts (our kids receive one thing they want, one thing they need, and one experience to share with the family—and my wife and I exchange one quality gift between us).
We will spend time with loved ones.
We will put up a tree and one box of meaningful decorations to celebrate the season. We will celebrate our faith and would normally attend some special holiday gatherings (most of which have been cancelled this year unfortunately).
We’ll drive around and look at Christmas lights in our neighborhood. We’ll bake Christmas cookies and watch Christmas movies.
Our season will be memorable because we won’t let shopping ruin it.
Neither should you.
About Joshua Becker
I feel fortunate that in my family holiday gifts were only given to children and only by their parents, so I missed the potlatch culture everyone else is burdened with.
I have not given special occasion gifts for at least 35 years. And yet my friends have never felt not cared for. I am there when they need to talk, need help with some project, etc. When I have no use for a particular item I pass it on to someone who will use it. Being there for people really is what matters to everyone. If you really need to shop, try diverting it to people who really need it – sleeping bags and camp mats for people who are homeless, etc.
We have a set budget for Christmas. We never go in debt. I get a list from each family member which I shop from. It’s not stressful but enjoyable for me to shop once a year for the people I love all year long. This way there aren’t surprises but people get what they need and love. Having said that I also want to note that our family traditions and at least one family outing are very special this time of year. As for decorations I have gathered quite an abundance over the years. But we love to put them up and enjoy them for several weeks. Not a burden as we now spend very little each year replacing worn out decorations. I’m a minimalist in some ways but not this!!
I analyze, question everything. Holiday consumerism is all manipulation on a mass scale. Imagine that – gov’t does it many ways, as do the cabal of merchants. Control the dialog, control the people. Not easy to break free of a stranglehold of brainwashing. Just do it; it’s the only way to live genuinely passed their deception.
Great ideas Sun. My cat wouldn’t use any modeling clay, but come to think of it I may buy some good old fashioned Play Dough. I have a recipe for making it from scratch but nothing smells better than the original.
I have told my family and friends that if I can’t eat it or drink it, I don’t need it. I also rarely buy new Christmas gifts for others. I simply look through my house for items I don’t want or through my regift box and wrap that for the lucky receiver. The only tricky part is not regifting to the original person! I detest the commercialism of Christmas and the pressure of gift giving, thus I rarely partake in the holiday.
A Sticky Note with the givers name attached to the gift can help solve that problem. ;)
There were a lot of us kids growing up & Christmas was special. My mom would take the Ivory Snow & mix it with water to put snow on the tree. It was always a Douglas Fir Tree & a very festive time for everyone. It was never about lots of gifts but what we did receive we appreciated. Then too in the 50’s & 60’s I don’t believe there was such a thing as Black Friday & thank goodness there were no mega shopping malls.
This is spot on! I have celebrated many decades of Christmases, and the memorable gifts I’ve received can all be counted on one hand. The time spent with the people I care about (and many whom I now miss dearly) make up the bulk of my memories. Yesterday was Black Friday and the only retailer I visited was the neighborhood gas station. I still buy a few gifts and decorate a smidge, but I don’t let cultural customs guide me these days. Merry Christmas, Joshua and family!
Lifestyle creep, number 5–I had some pretty lean Christmases as a kid. If I complained, nobody gave a s**t. I was considered a spoiled brat if I complained about it.
Felicity,
Halloween is the best! There is a great Tim Burton Movie that is fun to watch for Halloween & Christmas called “The Nightmare Before Christmas”. Kids & Adults as well will love it.
Some ways to get creative as well with Seniors for example might be to give them a gift card where they shop for groceries, for a manicure, stamps, maybe even a to take then out to shop & run errands if they don’t drive.
For those of you with younger children you may offer to babysit someone else’s kids so they can have day or a night out.
Maybe we can come up with more ideas too. I love the DIY projects as well, they are very heartfelt.
Well said. My husband and I have 4 young children. Last year we decided to be very intentional about our gift giving. One or two quality guess from us, a family membership, some craft supplies and one from each other (they draw names and do extra chores to earn the money to buy the gift). They also love to make each other homemade gifts with craft supplies. It’s made Christmas better! We then go through all the old toys on Boxing Day and donate them for other children to enjoy.
It amazes me here in Australia, where the Thanksgiving holiday is not celebrated, how suddenly Black Friday and Cyber Monday has become a thing in the past few years.. Thanks America! And Don’t get me started on Halloween
Thank the Global economy? If you are not interest, turn off your pc.
This is so good! I love it. We began our minimalism journey two years ago and our Christmases have gotten to be less about stuff and more about experiences together. That said, my children are still pretty young (10,8, and 4). What do you do for stockings at that age? I don’t want them to be empty, but I don’t want them to be filled with cheap things that will break, so I end up spending more on those than I would like to. I’d love ideas for stocking stuffers for young kids! (Oh also, I don’t like filling them up with a bunch of candy!)
Also, what do you do for gifts for friends? That’s another point of stress for me during the holiday season. I’d love to simplify that area, but I also want to continue to give to my friends because they really matter to me.
How about consumable items? My kids are 3,10,14 and I will be doing things like good lip balm, face masks (facials), good slime from etsy seller, colored pencils, one of their favorite candies (but u could also pick a fun healthy snack in a single serving),small dollar amount gift card, holiday socks. these are ideas, i do not give each kid the same thing. i do not actually stuff them full and the amount is not equal, they don’t care. They know I picked gifts out with them in mind. Also for friends, maybe an item that you really love, maybe a tasty treat or natural body care item? i usually bake people cookies, but i dont have really close friends. it doesn’t have to be expensive people really are thankful for the thought.
I always give my kids a new hairbrush or comb, novelty toothbrushes (they loved the light up ones as kids), lip balm, maybe some hair ties, gum, etc. Usually practical things, but they always enjoy what we give them. For friends, we always give consumables and try to keep it local, this year I’m giving them coffee beans, from a small, local coffee shop along with baked goodies from us.
A really neat idea I read about is to put part of breakfast in the stocking. So you can put healthy (and semi healthy) treats in there like an orange, apple or clementines, and packet of oatmeal or their favorite cereal, with a square of dark chocolate to make it special. Wrap tiny treats (money, gift cards, handmade coupons) in little boxes, paper towel tubes, or tissue paper to fill up the stocking more. Think of things they need anyway and find fun versions of them: fluffy socks or slippers, shower gel, a shower pouf, hair ties, pens/pencils/stationery, a journal or beautiful notebook, a book they will love, a really fun snow hat/mittens, a fluffy throw blanket or new flannel sheets, a new basketball/sports equipment, athletic wear like socks, tanks etc, super comfortable clothes to relax in like flannel pants. For the fun factor, find things they can be creative with: Legos, blocks, Modeling dough, Thinking Putty, etc.
For friends, consider a bag of special flavors of cookies or savory snacks like flavored pretzels/popcorn or a spread of finger foods, nice lotions or other treats like body scrub, creamy milled bar soaps, and a little candle to go with it, etc. Think consumable, things one can use up fast and might need anyway, but a special version.
Smaller stockings means less to fill. Our kids usually get a fruit of their choice- orange, apple, pomegranate, etc, a bag of nuts and a candy like thin mints or peppermint taffy. Sometimes a coloring book/crayons, small toy like a hot wheels car, or a craft they can do. I know a mom who makes homemade playdough for the younger kids.
Friends of ours get homemade bread or homemade treats.
Santa only brings one toy (or activity) and one book per a kid. (We buy what they need throughout the year.) He also brings a family game and special candy Mom and Dad never buy like chocolate oranges.
Hope this helps with some ideas that will work for your situation.
Stockings are tricky for me too – especially since they are so big! I considered ditching them completely. But then I decided to try all consumables. For the past several years I’ve been stuffing my five kids’ stockings with: an orange or pomegranate, a can of mixed nuts (preferably tall and skinny! They love these. A can of Pringles could be fun too.), a few quality chocolates or other candy, and money for how old they are. (Sometimes we do some fun origami folding with the money.) It’s easy and they’re always grateful!
Christmas is the only time of year I buy sugary cereals for my kiddos. I buy one of those small box multipacks (with the different brands in) and stick it in their stockings. It takes up lots of space and is consumable so won’t last long in a good way. Plus, they LOVE it!
For your friends, probably the greatest gift you can give them is to release them from the cycle of gift giving. I am sure you do not judge their care for you by what objects they give you, but rather by the ways they are there for you when you need them. And they are the same. Just say you love them and that you need to not exchange gifts this year, and you love them. I am sure they will love you even more for this gift of no gifts.
Thanks for this timely post. It’s just what I need for today!
This is a great article. I keep seeing stuff about all these great deals on this and that and I keep thinking- gosh should I? I don’t need it now but what if I do later? Am I passing up getting some really cool gifts for someone? What am I missing? I’m not missing anything tho am I? It’s all just advertising brain washing at its finest. I don’t need any of this stuff. I’m making most of my Xmas gifts. I gone my now grown kids experiences not stuff. ANd I’m trying to sell a bunch of my stuff that I don’t need in my much smaller downsized house to save for a trip to Hawaii next summer with my friend!! I just had to writes this because I don’t like how all this Black Friday pressure makes me feel. Everybody- be safe and healthy and happy. ?
Hawaii is beautiful, we lived on Oahu for 3 years. Stay away from big shopping areas, they are crowded and expensive. Stay near the water, trails, food trucks and always wear sunblock!
This is such a great timely reminder!! You may just have saved me thousands of dollars with this email! I like giving experiences for gifts. Season passes to a local zoo, trampoline parks, ski passes, plays and symphonies are just a few of the things I like to buy for my family.
Really enjoy all your posts, especially loved this one. This is hitting my in box exactly on Black Friday. Perfect timing! Yes, this year will be different. Thanks again for the continual encouragement.
We stopped giving gifts when our son got a part time job. He doesn’t need money as a gift from us. We may get him a gift card to buy a new video game, but having just joined a church, Christmas is about the birth of Jesus and that’s what he wants to learn about, sacrifice and serving.
Christmas is also a great time to think of those who are not as advantaged as a lot of us. Instead of spending time shopping, donating to your favorite charities may be just what they need to stay afloat another year, especially with so much funding being reduced or eliminated. Another shared experience (only if it’s safe to do so) is volunteering at a soup kitchen, Christmas dinner for those needing a meal; Salvation Army is always looking for bell ringers. The list goes on and on.
Me too Judy. I am not going out for anything today & It feels great.
The local Cancer Thrift Store has a 25 % off sale tomorrow & with the covid they only allow 20 people in the store at all times. I find a few things there that I need & some things for other people at a great price. Plus it goes to a good cause.
I have seen how insane this black friday is on the news when people literally stampede into the stores, it borders insanity. I worked in retail years ago but never dealt with it luckily.
Not sure if it’s true or not, but I heard that a lot of retailers are in the red until the day after Thanksgiving shopping rush—- and the frenzy puts them over and finally in the black? Either way—- glad not to be a part of it! ?
Yes, this year I am torn about the situation of small businesses in particular, who may have to close if they don’t make enough profits over the holiday season to keep them afloat. I’m planning on buying a few nice gifts from local stores, in order to do my share to help them.