“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” —Mohandas K. Gandhi
78.4 years isn’t much time.
Even at my age, I can feel the pressure to pack my life full of activity and maximize my time by doing all I can.
In school, we’re encouraged to join as many clubs as possible to make the most of our educational experience. At work, it’s expected that we’ll be uber productive and take on more and more responsibility. Even at home, there’s a never ending to-do list of things that need maintained, fixed or upgraded.
And we go on living as if there’s nothing wrong with this system. As if the natural progression of humankind is to become the most efficient life form on earth.
If there’s nothing wrong with this system, then why are so many people unhappy? Why are so many on medication to control anxiety, stress, and depression?
Isn’t this a more telling sign of our “progression” as a species?
All this busyness has overloaded our minds. And we walk around with this nagging sense that there’s something we forgot to do. Or we feel guilty when we actually do take time to do nothing, be lazy with some friends, or watch a worm inch its way across the sidewalk.
There’s just no rest; no sense of completion. Ever.
And its eating away at us from the inside. Making it impossible to find a reason to smile, or be joyful, or just be.
But life doesn’t have to be so crazy. The craziness ends when people embrace the alternative: slowing down.
Slowing down is radical in this day and age. An age where…
…we burn with frustration if a website doesn’t load instantly.
…we think taking a nap is a sign of laziness.
…we check our email, facebook, twitter 15 times a day.
…we eat instant oatmeal for breakfast, frozen meals for lunch, and order takeout for dinner.
…we lose sleep over an upcoming deadline.
…we even take our own lives because the pressure to perform is too much to handle.
Breaking these habits can be difficult. But why is that?
We fear that something bad will happen if things don’t get done. To calm that fear we work harder, and longer, and harder, and longer only to realize that there’s more to do.
It never ends.
If you’re tired of the grind, let me suggest you step back and take an honest assessment of what needs to be done. Letting go of the compulsion to do all things can be an awesomely liberating high. Simply choose what’s most important, and do that. Even simpler, choose to do the things you are passionate about, and drop the rest.
If life in the slow lane appeals to you, here are some easy steps to escape the rat race and enjoy a slower, simpler, happier life:
- Choose 3 things to accomplish each day. I know, you could probably come up with a list of 100 things, but don’t. Keeping the list this size will force you to decide what’s really important. When you finish the list, the rest of the day is yours to relax. With this approach you’ll be completing 21 important tasks a week. If you have more than that, seriously reevaluate your commitments.
- Learn to say “no.” Stop taking on more responsibility. That’s what got you reading this article in the first place. Sure, volunteering is a noble way to spend your time, but stretching yourself too thin can rob you of joy. And the world needs joy more than anything.
- Be unproductive. Even if you can only manage 20 minutes a day at first. Don’t read anything to further your career or impress your friends. Do something useless like skipping rocks across a pond. Or making mud pies with your kids. Or climbing a tree. Dig back into your memory bank, because most of this stuff is stuff you probably did as a kid.
- Only check your email twice a day. That includes twitter, facebook, stocks, sports scores, blog stats – anything. Checking these sites can become an addictive habit which steals time you could spend doing stuff that actually makes you happy.
- Embrace quality over quantity. Instead of joining every organization, subscribing to every blog, or taking every opportunity you get – try doing fewer things, but choosing the ones that really add value to your life. Pick 3 or 4 blogs and follow them closely. Choose one organization making a difference, and support them. Embracing quality over quantity will make your life less stressful and your experiences more satisfying.
- Find a hobby. Try something new, you don’t have to be good at it. As long as it excites you and taps into your creativity. Try these: yoga, rock climbing, running, wood work, surfing, reading, blogging, gardening, chess, painting, making music.
- Spend time with people you love. This is it, the one piece of advice I’d give you if I could only give you one. Relationships form the backbone of a purposeful life. Sharing secrets, fears, and hopes with another human is the surest way to slow down and enjoy life. Without close contact with other people, we grow into cold, lonely beings. Make time every single day to spend with loved ones, and you won’t end up with a single death-bed regret.
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Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Mike Donghia.
Further Reading
Eating as a Path to Yoga says
How do I enjoy life in the slow lane? What does that look like exercise/movement wise?
Jennifer says
Excellent!
After working 70-100 hours per week for the first half of this year I ended up at the doctor’s office who prescribed muscle relaxers 3 times a day and pain killer @ max dose 2 times per day.
Yeah. I said “time to slow down” and took the month of July to transition from work-a-holic to life-a-holic (which incorporates much of your list above.)
I still work about 30 hours per week – and my goal is to get down to 20 hours per week…maybe less if I can swing it!
I’m pleased to say – I am now living instead of surviving one day at work after another.
peggy says
I have been doing this for a long time. Maybe it is my age (59) or my personality. I don’t carry a cell phone..i was just given a NOOK from my 16 year old neice who had too many tablets…i am sad for that DIS-connected generation. CONNECTED to technology and no human beings. I do like to read on the nook. Keep up the great posts…if just one sinks in..it can change someone’s life!
Peace,
Peggy
Tammy says
Thanks for this inspiration, I needed to hear it. Even today, a Saturday, I feel the need to get busy! I love your blog, and will choose it as one of the few that I continue to follow. I’ve been making gradual progress towards getting rid of “stuff” and saying no to volunteering more. I use to find my identity in doing those things, and thrive on a stressful busy life, but it’s taking its toll on me.
I was raised by a Stay at Home Mom, and that’s what I’ve always wanted, but have taken part time jobs off and on over the years due to finances, or that feeling that I should be doing something more.
Currently, I’m stressing over the decision of whether to go for a full time job, or get a degree so I can get a good job within a couple of years due to the fact that over the past 4 to 5 years, my husband has been laid off about as much as he has had work. With 4 children, the oldest two are on their own, and have children of their own now, and I babysit a LOT for them. My youngest is 14, yet I really don’t know that I’m capable of handling a full time job and the work load at home. As a busy perfectionist, I have a hard time finding balance and keeping things done as it is.
I find social media a way to escape from my hectic life, but I do need to cut back. Thanks for a great article!
Terry says
Thank you very much for the daily inspiration! I have been following for a few weeks now and so many changes have begun to happen! Applying the things that that are being learned a little bit at a time are making a difference in the way I look at life, love in my relationships and learning to be happy just to be me. Im so excited for the changes that are still going to take place!
Awtfell says
Yes we are on this earth for a short time,
– I have when I give…
– My life is not about me, but about those around me…
– I am not a singular being.
QUESTION: What is our collective purpose?
DIY Solar Man says
I work on highway construction in the summer. We work 12 to 14 hours a day 6 days a week. I am laid off right now for the winter and I have so much work around the house to catch up on, but I am just being lazy. I am 55 so I figure it’s time to take it easy until summer comes and the “crazy season” starts all over again. Now I spend time with the grand children and do very little around the house unless it’s an emergency. Once work starts I will not even see the grandkids that much so I am taking it easy.
Jeff S says
Does anyone else feel that the whole minimalist/simple living movement has run out of things to say? All websites are the same and all rehash the same old ideas/articles.
How to cut debt, how to do nothing, how to say no, how to clear a cluttered room, how to not be distracted… This movement really needs some fresh thought and new thinking. Also, why the heck is everything always in list format?
Tammy says
If you don’t like it, why read it? There are some of us who do, and we need these reminders, and there may be some who haven’t heard these ideas yet..
Maybe you should start your own blog with some fresh thoughts and new thinking if you have some ideas.
I know what you are saying, but if you already have it all down, maybe you should spend time only following 3 or 4 blogs that actually apply to you as Mike recommended. :)
Fables@e-fables.com says
We think that the education system promotes children to be in fast lane. If you look at the college application, there is a whole section for students to list their activities. We have seen kids having a long list of activities, so many that it makes us wonder how they have time to do all of those things. We know they usually say that time-management is everything but we all have only 24 hours a day. With too much activities, even time-management wouldn’t work. Being in a fast lane is good and all but isn’t quality still better than quantity? We have seen people so busy every minute of the day but we don’t wish to be them. They may be busy but they might be just squirrels running in a wheel after all. By the way, we include a story about the squirrel running in a wheel for your entertainment. It will take you like 8 seconds to read it. Enjoy.
http://e-fables.com/2010/06/the-squirrel-and-the-thrush/
Jess@minimalistmum says
Another insane thing when you have a young family and an involved lifestyle is that you end up regularly, with all the best of intentions to avoid this, howling at the children you love most dearly to hurry up and get in the car before we’re late for ‘whatever’!
Children just don’t live in the fast lane naturally. And the activities truly are enjoyable ones, yet having them scheduled puts such pressure on all of us.