Editor’s Note: The following is a guest post by Farnoosh Brock of Prolific Living.
“He who would travel happily must travel light.” —Antoine de St. Exupery
The Case Against Minimalism
When I first heard about minimalism, I became very defensive. I wanted to ‘protect’ my material world. “No thank you, I love my stuff. I’ve worked hard for years to accumulate every single piece. And I’m planning to hold on to them!” That’s what I silently said in response.
I salute all of you advanced minimalists out there but the idea of a minimalist lifestyle and a small home terrified me. And so I promptly forgot about it and went about my business.
Except that I couldn’t forget. Minimalism was happening all around me. The personal growth world had gotten hold of this notion of “less is more” and was not about to let go anytime soon. Becoming a minimalist was the latest trend and the biggest buzz in town!
And that terrified me even more. I started to grow “allergic” to the word minimalism and avoided anything and everything about becoming a minimalist.
But at least I felt safe and protected in my home. Until, that is, my husband picked up on the trend and was soon sharing his new ideas on how minimalism would revolutionize our lives.
“We don’t need to collect any more stuff, honey! We should now focus on collecting memorable life experiences instead. That’s what lives in our hearts and travels to the end of time with us. You know?”
Huh?
That’s very romantic, babe, I thought to myself, but I still want what I want which is swimming in a big fat shiny material world and nobody was going to change my mind about it, not even my soul-mate.
So it was obviously time to take out the big guns and put up my big guard against this whole minimalism business.
I had to protect myself. Everyone, it seemed, was out to strip me from my cherished, material things and to convince me that shopping for new clothes, beautiful shoes, and fancy makeup was a waste of time and money. And I wasn’t about to have any of that.
Becoming an Accidental Minimalist
And then something very peculiar happened.
My good friends Dan and Vanessa launched a podcast called “Simple life Together“ and I innocently tuned in. The idea of simple living drew me in like a magnet. It didn’t scare me like minimalism – in fact, initially, I didn’t draw the connection between the two at all.
I totally embraced this simple living concept. I started organizing my closets, donating my books and going paperless, and I loved it. And for some strange reason, my husband couldn’t be happier! “Thank you Dan and Vanessa” he would say over and over!
Then a few months later, I was vacationing in Chile and naturally, we went shopping. Or maybe I persuaded my hubby to take me shopping, I can’t remember which. Anyway, here I was, in this gorgeous shopping mall in the heart of Santiago, and I couldn’t bring myself to buy anything!
This resistance to shopping persisted to the very end of our trip and I left Chile without buying a single thing—which in my book is seriously abnormal. But I comforted myself. I was saving up for Istanbul, I reasoned, which was going to be my big shopping spree of the decade!
And to my utter shock, the same thing happened during my Istanbul trip. I was in the middle of the Grand Bazaar in the heart of one of the greatest cities in the Middle East, with money and time… and absolutely zero desire to shop.
On several occasions, I came ridiculously close to buying something following a bout of negotiation even my Dad would be proud of. But then I would just lose interest and have no desire to go through with the transaction.
I can’t tell you how baffling this felt. It felt as if I had traded my old self with someone else and I was watching in horror what this new person was doing, and wondering what on earth had happened to my old self.
Just for good measure, when I came home, I drove by myself to pick up some make-up. Nobody to bother me or to rush me. Nowhere to be but in the aisles of makeup after makeup with a long shopping list. All the time in the world to choose gorgeous new expensive makeup … and I walked out with a tiny lipstick!
That, dear friends, is how I became an accidental minimalist!
Your Inner Voice on Minimalism
I admit, it feels strange when a subconscious part of you drives your behavior and messes around with your inner desires. But it also feels good. And right to some extent. That subconscious part is our inner wisdom guiding us gently toward the best decisions of life as long as we listen and pay attention.
I am so glad I listened.
I did not intend for any of this to happen.
In fact, I had every intention to shop, to buy, to spend, and yet when push came to shove, I had lost all interest in doing so.
And now I get it. It feels good. It feels good to not buy, to not shop, and to not worry about what to buy and where to shop and instead, to simply go without. In fact, it feels better than what you feel an hour or a day after you buy something, you know, the low after you’ve come down from the high of shopping, the unfulfilled desire nudging you to go out and shop some more to feel better, the never-ending cycle of high-low from never quite having bought enough.
So for now, I am letting this accidental path take me along. Now, I can finally appreciate living simpler, living with less, and being all the better off as a result.
Now I understand the irony that our stuff, which was supposed to bring us happiness and joy, finds a sneaky way of trapping us. And our freedom, which we cherish and protect so much, gets silently trapped in all the mess.
Unless we pay attention because true freedom, it turns out, is in the intangibles that we can’t see or touch but feel. The stuff that we can’t put on shelves, but we can put in our hearts. And there, it can stay safely for a long time without taking up much space at all.
So I have lowered my guard, I have accepted the truth of this higher self which apparently knows me so well, and while I am far from calling myself one, I can honestly say that I am loving the path of becoming a minimalist.
What about you? How did you fall into minimalism? Was it with intention? Or do you have an accidental story to share? Let us know in the comments!
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Farnoosh Brock left a 12-year corporate career to start her own company, Prolific Living Inc. She is the author of several books including her latest, The Healthy Juicer’s Bible. You can also find her on Twitter or at her weekly podcast, The Daily Interaction.
I’m just learning of this Minimalist movement but so grateful to be able to admit that I adopted this lifestyle years ago. I’ve known it as living beneath my means. Sure, I’m guilty of treating myself or my daughter on occasion but not because I was persuaded to by advertisement but because of the value the item would knowingly bring. I’ve made decisions such as cutting bills like cable and to be deliberately living debt free has felt so freeing. I made the realization some time ago that I was going to work to live and not the other way around. This chosen path has allowed me to enjoy my passions fully.
So yeah, I guess I’ve accidentally turned into a minimalist and what a discovery it has been.
Thank you for describing my fall- or should I call it a tumble – into this new lifestyle. I’m still working in getting there, but my closet has been thinned, and last week on vacation I only bought flower seeds and took pictures (digital) for my souvenirs. The term minimalism kind of scares me, but calling it simple living is not scary at all!
When I was in Jamaica a few years back instead of buying souvenirs I just took pictures in the shops. Now anytime I want to see my souvenirs I can just scroll through the pics stored digitally.
I haven’t entered into “living with less” by choice. Both of my parents are hoarders, so I loathe stuff. But it was only a year ago that I realized what excessive stuff has done to my well being over the years and it isn’t pretty. So I’ve been on a year long purge so I don’t follow in their footsteps. I need to break the cycle and am. So thank you for sharing your stories, it’s so helpful. I just wish I would have learned more of this stuff 40 years ago.
This is all so true. Accidental is an interesting word. My life was more or less looking for a way for me to exist and be happy with less, but until then I lugged it all around, sometimes having three storage units, two in other states! I laugh now at the ridiculousness of the time period, and that all but 5% of that stuff is still with me.
The big one for me was hitting some hard times and having to donate and sell most of my valuable things (the junk just got donated) and then living in a truck, a van two years later after completing my Associates, and then a SMART car between school and moving into my University Apartment. All of this, and a voice in my head kept saying, “You are 36…you’re supposed to have MORE!” But I quenched that voice with this kind of reading, and videos.
I’m not down to one suitcase, but my experiences of living in a van and truck, and showering on the beach showers at 4am as a competent, sane, individual showed me that I had what it took to shed more and give up more to get my dream fulfilled. I now hold a degree with UCLA and am looking into a PhD and a tiny house. After all, I’ve already discovered my size isn’t physical, it’s life. Anyone who gets out there and gets THAT- gets where I’m coming from.
Great article! Thanks for posting…
Accidental Minimalist here…on my way to a life..MY life. After a ten year relationship ending I found myself in my own place preparing for Acupuncture School. Presently having a business and supporting myself with Body work I decided to go further and commit to a three year program of study. This program required some travel and I found myself there more than here. So after the first year a school friend offered me a bedroom so that I may devote more time to study. So I further downsized from home to apartment now to a bedroom. Returned back twice a week to work and back to school that became a five day commitment. My bedroom became my home and I discovered peace with less. My days were filled with study and work involving people with all kinds of illnesses and my only focus was this growth and study.
I am a person who has owned 4 homes in my life. I have graduated and returned to my hometown and have begun practicing, I am a Doctor of Oriental Medicine. I have rented another room in a lovely home to get myself started again. I see so many people with so many things and in a way it makes me anxious partly because my ego still feels I should have more but my soul wants the freedom. So at this moment there is a struggle but I am aware of that struggle and in truth I feel better with less. I have far more time to give. more.
Falling into minimalism is the best thing that ever happened to me. I was in a marriage that was going sour while living in Florida. We had moved to Illinois and back to Florida with all our stuff in tow. It was expensive and a headache. After moving back to Florida, my husband wanted a boat, truck, motorcycle, and other large ticket and rather expensive toys to maintain. I had dreams of going to college and being the first person in my immediate family to do so. I also dreamt of having a small business and traveling. The stress of the payments due every month made me feel old and overwhelmed even though I was only 29 and weeks from turning 30. I knew deep down that my dreams would never come to fruition.
One day I finally had a meltdown and the meltdown of sadness, stress, depression, and loneliness lasted for weeks. I cried for weeks on end. I finally mustered up the strength to leave my marriage and move back to Chicago. I sold everything one by one over a few months, without telling my ex of my intentions. Eventually all the loans were gone and we no longer had debt. I was free of the fear of financial ruin. I told him I was leaving as I packed my cat, clothes, computer, and my cookware, and I left for Chicago. I had $1300 to my name as I moved into a $625 one bedroom apartment that was walking distance to the train and bus, and a grocery store. I bought an air bed to sleep on for the first few months and a phone line for the internet. That was it. I was liberated.
That was 9 years ago. Since then I earned an AA degree in Business Admin, BA in Urban Planning and Public Policy, and I have a teaching certificate from Cambridge to teach English as a second language. I started a business 5 years ago that I eventually managed from my iPad, which has allowed me to live in 3 other countries and travel to about 30. I am now speaking 3 languages and looking forward to a fourth. I sold my business 6 months ago and I’m still living abroad. The past three years I have been living out of a 65 liter backpack and I can’t remember what I still have in my apartment. My apartment in Chicago is furnished with quality but minimal furnishings, which works great for my sublet tenants.
I’ll return to the US late this year to live out my dream of being a ski bum for a season in Colorado (actually snowboarding) after I finish my work in Brazil and travel for a few months in Africa.
People tell me I’m lucky. I’m not lucky, I just took a long hard and honest look at my unhappiness and the distractions in my life – stuff and debt that comes with it. I took responsibility for the mess I was in and decided to take action.
I have absolutely no regrets. And I never will. I live free.
I too kind of fell into minimalism by accident. I was living the prototypical American dream: house, cars, clothes, plenty of toys and electronics and I worked hard to pay for them. The more “stuff” I bought the more I had to work to maintain it and the less happy I became about it. So I started getting rid of things. It felt great! So I kept doing it.
Now I live a semi-nomadic life of adventure and travel and have never been happier. I have so little “stuff” I can move with checked luggage on an airplane and I am still looking for ways to downsize. I discuss my journey and my travels on my website.
<3 this…I can relate on so many levels…I remember the day so vividly (2010 Kentucky, sitting in my living room/reading) that I suddenly just knew I wanted to be a minimalist…it was such a spiritual/calming moment filled with so much clarity. Forever thankful for that day:)
It happened to me because I have a vacation apartment and very few items there; one pair of jeans, a few tops, a few pairs of shorts and a few bathing suits. I hate packing so I always make do with very little there. I discovered how much better it is not to have to think about what to wear. A few things, not many choices, easier!!
BTW, to all you that made comments, thank you so much.
It’s inspiring not only to read an article, but to see so many others with their thoughtful ideas and own path to living with less.
I was listening to this highly regarded doctor yesterday about the “thrifty gene” concept. And he said our bodies were designed for thrift.
One of those moments I almost fell out of my chair. Interesting how things tie together.
I had always been a minimalist my whole life, as a child I shared a room w a messy sister, my part of room was bare her side messy. I can’t live any other way, but it makes life easy, I love it
I have embraced minimalism with a passion but now Cristmas is approaching and as before, I would shop till I dropped. My purchases will be considerably less and I do hate to disappoint my family and friends. How do I get rid of this guilt? Not too many of them realize how I have changed my lifestyle.
Screw the junk. Just take them all out for dinner instead or host it.
This happened to me but it was because of necessity, I lost my home and moved into a two bedroom apartment.stuff had to go. It broke my heart at first, but now I am choosing, happily, to part with “stuff” I used to feel was so important. I take stuff regularly to our locL Hospice Attic when they sell it to help Hospice. Even though it was not originally my choice, now I am embracing this life. I shop only for necessities and am much happier for it. Thank you for sharing this.
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I spent 10 years as a professional sailor, I could, and frequently did, carry everything I owned for that entire decade.
I’ve never become reconciled to life ashore – I feel oppressed by possessions, they own me. I have an apartment on one coast, a house on the other, both full of stuff. Yuck.
I’d like to live with much less stuff, but my wife loves stuff. What to do?
Understand David. It’s frustating for me too. Wife and I are pretty much retired but wife insists we pay a person to clean our house. Now housekeeper stays here 2 nights a week, eats our food and whatever toiletries and stuff she needs for her home.
If the places and stuff burned you and your wife could escape to the boat!
For me it’s having a toddler who is capable of finding everything I try to hide from her and turning our apartment into chaos within 5-10 mins from the time she opens her eyes in the morning. I am just sick of cleaning up, dusting and organizing and have no time for that anymore after having a kid. I don’t think I wana waste my precious ME time organizing junk that costs me space and money. Granted we do have a lot of toys and stuffed animals and a lot of toddler clothes but most of them are hand-me-down or gifts from my parents and friends.
Thank you very much for your article. Yes, it is a strange realization and coming to terms when you find that less is more. … and it just keeps on going. :) But I find I have to be careful not to make de-cluttering and living with less “my life” (it’s easy for it to become such a passion that it becomes the main focus or all spends time doing), but a part of my life, the way I live and continual improvement of my life. Pacing oneself after the first big push allows for continued gratification in the act of simplifying. Strangely, I find I become impatient in it and want to be done with it so that I can move on to something else. Then I remind myself that the rest of my life is waiting for me and that balance is the key.
Karen
Karen, what a wonderful point – no obsessing about becoming a minimalist. Very true :)! Thanks for the reminder for the rest of us too.
Minimalism has always been in my heart. The older I have gotten the more I have realized the importance of being who I am….it is freedom! Just recently, I have truly begun to embrace who I have always been!
Cat, I love that – in your heart and it’s freedom. Beautifully said.
It’s really interesting to hear about those who try and force themselves to purchase something, making it seem as though there is something wrong with them if they can’t.
I find it really inspiring to hear those who fell into this lifestyle. Sometimes the best things happen by chance, and you really weren’t expecting them to. You aren’t pushed so you take your time and adapt it to your needs and those around you. I also salute you on your courage to go against not only the people in mainstream culture, but also your own self. Most people don’t want to challenge themselves and try new things because it just takes too much effort in this drive though world. It has also taken me some time to accept that I won’t be like most of my other friends who in their early twenties eat out a couple times a week and buy all those life necessities. But to each his own!
It’s just the force of habit, you know? Nothing is wrong with them so much as they are used to thinking and doing that way. :)
Hi Farnoosh,
This is such a great post! I didn’t consider myself a minimalist since I’m not a big fan of – isms :-) but as I kept reading, I realized I am one. Like many of others here, it began accidentally. I moved to live alone after a long time and in the process of moving, simply threw away many stuff, mostly clothes. Since my family lives in the old apartment, I also left some things there, including piles of books, with the intention to pick them up later – but never did. I simply lost the need to own them ( and I confess that I discovered Kindle after long time avoidance). Now my place is so neat and floors are free except the necessary furniture that was already here since I rent the place. I’ve never had so little clothes in my life and I’m fine with it.
I noticed how minimalist your yoga room is and, as a pianist, couldn’t take my eyes off of that beautiful, black upright piano on the right. As I was doing yoga with you, all I could think of was how does it sound :-) I hope you are playing and enjoying it!
Hi Diana, tell me about it…. me too. I do love your story and so glad that you are happy with the results you are experiencing.
Did you watch one of my yoga videos? That’s my hubby’s piano. He’s the musician. I just goof off on my yoga mat ;)!