“Happiness is not a destination, it’s a way of life.”
Happiness. We look for it in different places. Some of us hope to buy it. Some think we can earn it. Others look for it in a new job, a new relationship, or a new accomplishment.
But one thing remains: happiness is something we all desire. We were designed to experience it.
Why then, does it appear at times to be so elusive? How can a society search so desperately for something, but still struggle to find it? How can so many of us not know how to be happy?
Maybe it is because the pursuits we have set before us as a means to find it are actually keeping us from it.
Consider these 9 pursuits and how they may be distracting us from happiness. Each of them are common in our lives and in our world. But rather than contributing to our happiness, they may be robbing us of it.
9 Common Pursuits That Rob Us of Happiness
1. Following the crowd. The crowd rarely has our best interests in mind. Instead, they seek their own benefit. Scientists call this crowd mentality. And more often than not, following the crowd leads to destructive behaviors rather than life-giving. We would be wise to seek input into our lives from other sources than the popular perceptions of the day.
2. Trying to please everybody. We are never going to please everybody. At some point, we will hold an unpopular opinion—one that gives us meaning and purpose and passion. And when we do, we ought to hold on to it desperately.
3. Chasing wealth. Studies confirm it over and over again: once our most basic needs have been met, money contributes very little to our overall happiness. And yet, we continue to pursue more as if it holds the secret key to lasting joy. But those who desire riches bring temptation to themselves and are often caught in a trap. Happiness is never the byproduct of chasing wealth.
4. Desiring a picture-perfect life. Happiness is not something we discover only after everything is perfect with our lives (our jobs, our appearance, our relationships). If that were the case, none of us would ever experience happiness. This world is imperfect—always will be. But happiness can still be found once we realize perfection is not a prerequisite.
5. Building our own kingdom. The size of our universe shrinks dramatically when we place ourselves at the center. Living selfishly for our own personal gain will never produce lasting happiness and fulfillment. Our lives are designed to be lived for something far greater. And only those who discover the hidden joy of living for others will find a happiness that truly lasts.
6. Entertaining distraction. Our world has become a constant feed of information, noise, and entertainment. Each distraction enters our mind with one goal: Gain control of our attention and resources. Those who sacrifice their resources to unlimited curiosity will never find the mental or financial capacity to become something greater.
7. Fighting for recognition. Searching for happiness in recognition is a losing endeavor. The world will never give you the respect or accolades you so desperately desire. They are all too busy fighting for their own. You will need to find it elsewhere.
8. Succumbing to fear. If given the chance, fear will always cripple. It will steal your life and potential. Living your fullest life will require courage in the face of fear. Sometimes you will fail. But be strong, most of the time, you will succeed—or become better because of it.
9. Searching for it around the next corner. Happiness is not something to be chased. It is a decision to be made. (tweet that)
And you have everything you need right now to choose it.
Jamie says
Entertaining Distraction–yes! Not only the constant entertainment input, but the type of input! I’ve had to exert lots of discipline to give up shows that were bringing me down, and instead open a book or do a task. After watching a very popular TV show all the way to the bitter end (about a chemistry teacher turned meth kingpin), I realized that I was making myself miserable, putting myself in a funk that took days to climb out of, and giving over scads of time to a pursuit with absolutely no return! I’m trying to watch only those shows or movies (if I watch at all) that are either Positively Enriching, or at least so Socially Significant that I can justify the strain on my emotions.
Mimir says
Your posts have seemed a litlte ponderous recently suggesting change. I can’t really offer advice, I fell into work that I love rather by accident but it did help that I just kept saying yes to everything, not really advice as I think most people are like that. Have you considered getting out there and teaching face to face? You might need a PTLLs qualification but why not look at your local authority adult education and see if they need craft tutors. Gosh sorry, this is not meant to be a lecture , it just tumbled out.
Melissa says
Great post, a lot of this is so true. I do feel that most adults want happiness but stress them self out so much they cause health issues that make happiness impossible. Its hard being happy while fighting depression but it can be done.
I am trying to show my son that happiness does not come from stuff but from the memories we make with them with other people. He is learning pretty good.
Sarah Elizabeth says
Numbers 4, 5, and 9. This article is wonderful, so true, and so inspiring. Thanks for pointing out the obvious so articulately. Now I must go log off the internet and stop being distracted…
Chris says
Great article…and cooooool pic!
Fiona says
Great list – and no. 6 convicted me. I am way too ‘Eve-like’…acting on my curiosity, and investigating every news item and ‘feed’ on FB and the computer……which costs me huge chunks of time and sets me up to procrastinate…….more!
Thanks so much for this article, – getting off FB and computer now!!
:) :) :)
Glori says
Great post to start my day!
Thanks for the reminders. The herd/crowd mentality I often fall back to when I feel like I’m not doing “well” for myself is one of my weaknesses. Individuality is something quite new (and difficult) when you grew up being expected to follow a certain path. -_-
Clint says
Thanks for this post. Thought provoking as usual. I think the hardest one is to be happy before things are ‘perfect’. It’s just another facet of ‘Be Here Now’ which I sometimes forget.
ron wade says
New to your blog. Like it. Keep it going.
Brooks Palmer says
Thanks for helping me take a deeper look at happiness. It seems like happiness is can’t be searched for, caught, and enjoyed. My experience is that it can’t be repeated. Something that made me happy once, didn’t the next time. Then there are other times where something that once bothered me, made me happy the next time. Knowing this has made me cut back chasing happiness. Feeling happy these days shows up in surprising ways.
Saritha says
This is so true about hinging our hopes on a repeat experience. Thanks for this insight.
Robert Mounce says
Posted yesterday.on happiness. Check my website