“Happiness is not a destination, it’s a way of life.”
Happiness. We look for it in different places. Some of us hope to buy it. Some think we can earn it. Others look for it in a new job, a new relationship, or a new accomplishment.
But one thing remains: happiness is something we all desire. We were designed to experience it.
Why then, does it appear at times to be so elusive? How can a society search so desperately for something, but still struggle to find it? How can so many of us not know how to be happy?
Maybe it is because the pursuits we have set before us as a means to find it are actually keeping us from it.
Consider these 9 pursuits and how they may be distracting us from happiness. Each of them are common in our lives and in our world. But rather than contributing to our happiness, they may be robbing us of it.
9 Common Pursuits That Rob Us of Happiness
1. Following the crowd. The crowd rarely has our best interests in mind. Instead, they seek their own benefit. Scientists call this crowd mentality. And more often than not, following the crowd leads to destructive behaviors rather than life-giving. We would be wise to seek input into our lives from other sources than the popular perceptions of the day.
2. Trying to please everybody. We are never going to please everybody. At some point, we will hold an unpopular opinion—one that gives us meaning and purpose and passion. And when we do, we ought to hold on to it desperately.
3. Chasing wealth. Studies confirm it over and over again: once our most basic needs have been met, money contributes very little to our overall happiness. And yet, we continue to pursue more as if it holds the secret key to lasting joy. But those who desire riches bring temptation to themselves and are often caught in a trap. Happiness is never the byproduct of chasing wealth.
4. Desiring a picture-perfect life. Happiness is not something we discover only after everything is perfect with our lives (our jobs, our appearance, our relationships). If that were the case, none of us would ever experience happiness. This world is imperfect—always will be. But happiness can still be found once we realize perfection is not a prerequisite.
5. Building our own kingdom. The size of our universe shrinks dramatically when we place ourselves at the center. Living selfishly for our own personal gain will never produce lasting happiness and fulfillment. Our lives are designed to be lived for something far greater. And only those who discover the hidden joy of living for others will find a happiness that truly lasts.
6. Entertaining distraction. Our world has become a constant feed of information, noise, and entertainment. Each distraction enters our mind with one goal: Gain control of our attention and resources. Those who sacrifice their resources to unlimited curiosity will never find the mental or financial capacity to become something greater.
7. Fighting for recognition. Searching for happiness in recognition is a losing endeavor. The world will never give you the respect or accolades you so desperately desire. They are all too busy fighting for their own. You will need to find it elsewhere.
8. Succumbing to fear. If given the chance, fear will always cripple. It will steal your life and potential. Living your fullest life will require courage in the face of fear. Sometimes you will fail. But be strong, most of the time, you will succeed—or become better because of it.
9. Searching for it around the next corner. Happiness is not something to be chased. It is a decision to be made. (tweet that)
And you have everything you need right now to choose it.
Tom Rintjema says
Happiness is the by product of right living.
Jim Hastings says
Happiness is the result of contentment. When one finds true contentment in their personal self happiness will follow.
Rahul says
Short, but precise post, Joshua! I liked the 2nd point especially. That pleasing everyone actually makes our life a lot more troublesome; how can we be happy when we are trying to think from others point of views?
Thanks for sharing your views on this,
Margaret Moloney says
You can never get enough of what you don’t really want. – Mark Shea
Paul says
Do you maybe think that jumping up with the ‘kill-Bill-Cosby-quote’ crowd is exactly the happiness-killing meme that this post is attempting to overcome?
Przemek says
Thank you for the article. Number 6, kicked me in. I have really big problem with infinite desire for more and more information – Id like to be embrace it all. But it actually prevents me from concetrating on what is really important for me and putting my resources there.
Patti Fralix says
I had the same uncomfortable feeling when I saw the Bill Cosby quote, and was going to state that in a reply. Then I remembered another post I just read about being kind being so important, that I decided to let it go. When I read the other comments about this, I decided to “weigh in.” While I do think Bill Cosby’s quote being included adds a negative dimension to an otherwise wonderful post, I do want to focus more on the positive, and learn from the negative.
Lisa says
Please get rid of the Bill Cosby quote. It takes away from the entire article. I don’t understand why on earth you would use it. Surely he isn’t someone you respect? After all, in a 2005 deposition he admitted to drugging women to have sex (rape is more like it). Using a quote from Bill Cosby makes me question your integrity — and clearly from these comments, I’m not the only one.
Why not quote John Lennon instead?
“Trying to please everybody is impossible – if you did that, you’d end up in the middle with nobody liking you. You’ve just got to make the decision about what you think is your best, and do it.”
Jen says
Quit reading when I saw Bill Cosby quote….
Ed says
Happiness
Begins. With GOD ….Knowing He Will Always Be By Our Side In All Life’s Situations , And knowing where you will spend Eternity , This Journey In Life Is Short….So many waste so much time searching for Earthly Satisfaction , When Peace and Contentment are there for the asking…..