Too often, we live our lives rejoicing only in the destination.
We mark major accomplishments as the milestones that define our lives: a graduation, a new job, a wedding, a move, or overcoming a tragedy.
We look back with fondness on these significant events and we desperately look forward to the next: the accomplishment of a life goal, a significant desired award, a major life transition, a big promotion, or simply emerging from one of life’s dark valleys triumphant. We surmise that because we found joy in the previous accomplishment, we must find it again in the next.
Unfortunately, life is not lived exclusively in these major destinations. In reality, we actually spend far more time in the pathways between them. The significant achievements are few, while the journeys between these major destinations are long.
These spaces between destinations are where we prepare ourselves—and are prepared—to accomplish the next goal, to weather the incoming storm, and to choose the next destination carefully. But because we live in a results-oriented world, finding joy in these gaps can be difficult.
Years ago, my then 5-year-old daughter walked into our living room carrying the book Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss. She climbed into my lap, asked if she could read to me, and began opening the front cover. With little hesitation, I agreed. I looked forward to helping her through it.
Little did I know my help would not be needed.
Using the sight words she had learned from her kindergarten teacher and simple steps to get through the tricky words, my daughter successfully navigated every single word in the book. When my daughter closed the book, she looked at me with a huge sense of accomplishment. And when she did, she looked directly into the eyes of the only person smiling bigger than her.
I remember looking at her with a feeling of pride I could never communicate with words. The compliments were genuine and the hug was sweet. My daughter was learning to read. It was her first book. She knew it. I knew it. And there was great joy to be found in this growth.
Now, just to be clear, I knew full-well her journey to become a reader was not complete. Being able to sound out every word in a Dr. Seuss book was hardly the culmination of her education. I would still challenge her to reach new heights and seek higher accomplishments.
But, in this specific moment, overwhelming joy was the perfectly accurate response. My daughter had grown in her ability to read. She had worked hard to reach this point. The progress from her starting point deserved to be celebrated. And she understood there was joy to be found in this journey.
Very likely, your life deserves more celebration than you offer it.
Learn to celebrate the progress, not just the accomplishments.
In the end, our lives are not measured by the accomplishments. They are measured by the little steps and decisions we make every day.
Strive forward to become a better person, a better parent, and a better contributor to the world around you. Strive for the great accomplishments the world will use to define your life. But don’t be so quick to discount the progress you have already made.
Because that is where life is lived. That is where joy is found.
I have been following your blog for years ever since my best friend introduced me to it. It has helped me find the many benefits of de-cluttering. I live in a studio about a few minutes from the Union Station Square in New York. Keeping my place clean has been a hassle. My partner and I have different schedule during the day and the shared of duties.. laundry or wash dishes that stack up can become overwhelming. So I have decided that we would less likely to have to fight over pick up many items off if I took the tasks and make it a habit to do it accordingly without him nor being asked. Cleaning isn’t fun, but I care for his happiness and by doing this in every day it would make our life easier. xoxox Willy
Oh my goodness, this happened to me years ago. My daughter is 38. We were at Dr’s office with her sick younger brother. She brought the same book to and as I started reading to her she read to me.
As a students during the lock down, I will always give myself more credits than other people think that I merit?
Enjoying the moment ?kids grow and learn fast… it doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard though …. always give yourself more credits
Thank you, I needed this reminder so much today. God bless you and continue gives you wisdom to speak to so many of us.
I really enjoyed this. In high school for a project we had to find 15 quotes that represented us and turn them in. Later when cleaning before college I found the list, several were about success since I was preparing for college and one still is true for me. “Succes is a journey, not a destination” Did getting a degree make me successful? Was our wedding day the best day? My degree was great but I had to take several jobs where I met great people before getting the job I love now. Our wedding day was great but the little things leading up to it were sometimes more memorable and the little everyday things in our marriage now are the best. It’s easy to get lost pushing for that next big moment and you can miss happiness along the way.
but maybe the more important thing was the fact that your little girl could cherish this achievement with her father. bonding is so important…
Good morning all. Typically, in the morning, I usually read one of several chosen devotions either via daily emails, on a book reader, or hard copy. However, having not been on a particular social site in quite some time, of which I have pretty much locked down for only my family and motivational likes, I wanted to check in on my long distance loved ones. As I scrolled down, this article seemed magnetic in nature, so I decided to devote a few minutes of my morning to reading it. It was part of my encouragement in a rather unique way of which I will share in case anyone else needs the lift, as well.
My Point: As humans living in a pressurized world where everything has to be “bigger and better” all the time, sometimes it is necessary to rest and find peace in simple providence and sustenance when life’s upward climb meets a cliff or a gap.
I am going to mention a few things here, not to relish in negativity but to give background to my own gap. A serious real estate down turn right at the time my husband and I were planning to move to be closer to family, disappointments in the profession, an empty nest, a battle with cancer, a difficult final search for a modestly sized and priced well-care-for home across the country, and hundreds if not thousands of dollars spent, after cancer bills and a time of no job, to transfer career credentials to other states. HOWEVER, through it all…no home foreclose, but a long awaited sale…new purposes in life through a four year very satisfying home business…a continued closely-knit long distance relationship with my daughter…a victory over cancer…and a “new” mid century house in a peaceful, friendly neighborhood that is blessed place to call our home (Side thought: The home is a place my sweet grandmother would have loved had she been alive to visit.). Ironically, our home is “in the gap” of two mountains.
My gap: My struggle has been locating a good match for employment in my field. While I have taken temporary jobs, I have been feeling unsettled about the time and amount of progress that has been made. I have “worked” every day for hours developing my resumes, transferring credentials, seeking gainful employment, going on disappointing interviews, re-evaluating my search and goals, developing personal self improvement plans, and more. Even though my resume is strong, my crendentials are solid, my formal evaluations are highly complimentary, my outward progress has been seemingly lacking resulting in recent times of discouragement and feelings of inadequacy especially when it comes to helping provide for my household.
My need: Joshua’s blog reminded me to cherish time spent in providence and sustanence of all the other things in life while “in the gap” of my career…to enjoy this time as a part of my life’s testimony.
My shared encouragement: Wherever you are at in life, remember that sometimes we need to have “micro celebrations” even when one particular area of our life may not be going as planned. These giving of thanks and gratitude to our Source for what we do have will create within us an attitude and demeanor that will be a magnet for good things to come while living in between two mountains.
Have a blessed day and find something about which you can be “Pollyanna.”
LJ
Thank you for sharing. My gaps are a job change, lay-off, searching for work, and now caring for a parent with cancer who has moved into my home.
I needed this reminder as well, “to cherish time spent in providence and sustanence of all the other things in life while ‘in the gap’ of my career…to enjoy this time as a part of my life’s testimony.”
Jill
Here is a quote by Louis L’Amour I like to read often:
“Too often I would hear men boast of the miles covered that day,
rarely of what they had seen.”
Love the quote! Thanks for sharing.
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This reminds me of line from song “Greyhound” by the late great poet singer-song writer Harry Chapin. “Its got to be the going, not the getting there, that’s good.” Thanks everyone here for knowing it.
Love the quote! Thanks for sharing.
I’m a minimalist also, and love it. Material possessions mean nothing to me. What I care about is having more time with family and loved ones. Having the ability to take care of them, and them not struggling to survive.
When I become rich I’m going to take care of them and give back to the community. Being successful is having more time because time can’t be bought. It can only be used wisely.
Thank you for a great article.
I can relate to this a lot – we are teaching our almost 4 year old daughter to read and it is such a lovely feeling to see them accomplish something!
This is beautiful and very affirming. Thank you for opening my eyes to this profound truth.
Thank you so much for sharing this Joshua – it’s perfect and I will keep it at the forefront to reread.
This brought tears to my eyes!! So profoundly well put! The biggest life lessons are in the PROCESS for sure. Thank you Joshua for sharing this!
Love this so much- it’s so true. If we only live celebrating that end goal, not only do we miss so much, but we may never get the opportunity to celebrate!
I cleaned out and organized my sock drawer many months ago and I’m still celebrating – every time I open it, I smile and pat myself on the back for keeping it neat. But I still get overwhelmed sometimes about how much I still need to do in my house. Thanks for the reminder to celebrate the process and the daily/weekly accomplishments, which are happening, slowly but surely.
Another inspiring post. Well said ❤️
“Learn to celebrate the progress, not just the accomplishments.” Probably most of us miss out on most of life’s joy because we don’t think the everyday “counts.”
I love this! Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. It has helped change my perspective.
“had grown in her ability to read”
I think this is what a lot of us forget to celebrate, to cherish, to hold dear – that process of growing into something. That’s where the learning and the personal growth happen, little by little, bit by bit.
Too often, we’re so blinded by the glitter at the end of the road that we completely dismiss the velvet we’re treading on.
Learning something is a process. Accomplishing something is a process. And “an overnight success” is often a decade in the making. Years of toil and hard work, setbacks, shifting, readjusting and trying again.
There’s a good book by Teresa Amabile, called The Progress Principle, that delves into the importance of celebrating small wins in our professional lives.
For our personal lives, the discovery is all on us.
as I read this it reminds me as a 65 year old that even at my age there is always progress, always something to learn, always finding a purpose or repurposing your life. Thank you for your thoughts.
Thank you for your kind comment, Cathy.
I’m in my 30s and I’m still grappling with this. Hoping to make some headway by the time I reach the wise age you’re at now.
Thank you for this! I love your posts because they are always positive and teach principles that apply to all. Out of all the minimalist blogs, yours is my favorite for that reason. Thanks for keeping your thoughts on the uplifting and inspiring side of things!
This reminds me of Mahatma Gandhi quote “There is more to life than increasing its speed”. Words to live by.
Thank you, Joshua. Great reminder! Really needed this!
I’m 19 and I think I put pressure on myself to be perfect and get everything right all the time. I read this blog mostly for advice on Minimalism but it’s also nice to be reminded that it’s ok to make mistakes and not to have all the answers. Progress is what matters, constantly striving to be the best version of myself even if I mess up along the way! Thanks Joshua.
Thank you, Lousia, for your words which resonated highly with me. ❤️
Your comment, as well as Joshua’s content, was most meaningful for me as I travel through a particularly intricate part of my journey of life, downsizing from 51 years of living in one home, with all its wonderful family treasures, and now finding myself in the midst of moving to a smaller but lovely space which I vow not to clutter. My mantra for today will include your thoughts and some of my own, revolving around perfectionism, which will guide me not to be so hard on myself as I continue through my process.