…it’s that they distract you from the things that do.
There’s a common saying in our world and it goes something like this, “Possessions won’t make you happy.”
Almost everyone agrees with it.
Once our most essential needs have been met, the long-term happiness that can be found in material possessions is fleeting at best. And because nobody wants to admit that they are looking for happiness in their next purchase from the department store or car lot, we generally agree aloud that “possessions won’t make you happy.”
Studies back up our presumption.
But the problem with possessions goes beyond the fact that they won’t make us happy. The problem with excess possessions is that they distract us from happiness.
“Possessions won’t make me happy,” while agreed to by most, only results in thinking that is indifferent to the accumulation of physical items. There may not be long-term benefit in possessions, but there is also no harm. We begin to view them as entirely neutral.
“Sure, possessions won’t make us happy,” we may think, “but I’m going to buy x anyway, because I have the money. It probably won’t make me happy in the long-run, but it’s still fun to have.”
But excess possessions are not indifferent to our happiness.
They become an obstacle and barrier to it. And the more we have, the greater the burden we have to carry.
Everything we own requires a bit of ourselves. Possessions cost us money, time, energy, and focus. They become a physical distraction and mental distraction. Every increased item we own adds increased stress and anxiety onto our lives.
I was first introduced to the word minimalism on a Saturday morning while cleaning out my garage. The responsibility of clearing out the clutter, sorting through the piles, hosing down the floor, and returning items in an organized way took hours to complete. All the while, my 5-year-old son was begging me to come play catch in the backyard.
As my frustration with the spring-cleaning project began to mount, my neighbor provided the remedy when we struck up a conversation. “That’s why my daughter is a minimalist. She keeps telling me I don’t need to own all this stuff.”
The juxtaposition could not be more stark. To the left of me stood a pile of dirty, dusty possessions I had spent the entire morning cleaning and organizing. To the right of me, my son swinging alone on the swing set in the backyard.
In that moment, I began to understand the weight of possessions.
Not only were my possessions not making me happy… they were keeping me from the very thing that did.
This is a very different realization. In fact, it’s probably what separates those who pursue minimalism from those who do not. Owning less frees us to pursue happiness, joy, meaning, and fulfillment in things that actually matter—however we choose to define that.
Our possessions are not passive.
They are not merely indifferent in our pursuit of happiness and meaning.
They often stand in the way of it.
Jessalynn Jones says
I love this post Joshua! It’s so true. For some reason, maybe cause I never had much money, I always guarded my time more jealously than money and that’s part of why my husband and I stayed in a 400 square foot studio for almost 10 years and now live with my parents to help them.
Five other couples in our friend group got married the same year we did and they went for houses and stuff and they all work more than I want to and have more home projects than I want to and generally are more stressed than I want to be.
Every time I wanted a big house I would ask my friends over and they would be working on projects around the house so they couldn’t come. That always cured me of wanting more.
I want my time. Things take my time and EVERYTHING GETS DIRTY. (I’m a cleaning lady lol)
Sunshine says
I loved this! Thank you for sharing! We live a different life too. Recently new things have come up that we sort of need, but we realize we don’t really need them now and maybe not ever. And we don’t want them badly enough to add them right now when we don’t fully need them. It’s a relief not to have another thing to maintain more than it is to wonder how long we can make do!
Tracey says
It’s hard to start but I have. There is so much clutter in my apartment it make me tired. I just ditched old CD’s. Now I have a massive amount of audio tapes that I’m very slowly parting with. I throw out or put in a bag and donate stuff every day.
Charmaine Girrbach says
Have been helping my sister clean out the garage which is filled with all sorts of tools – new, old, working, broken. It is the accumulation of years by her husband who died almost one year ago. The tools were his means of bringing happiness to him by the fact that family, friends, and neighbors all knew that he had what they needed and he needed to be needed and helpful. Now my sister is dealing with decades of “stuff” which brings only stress to her.
Eve says
I have struggled all my life with keeping my closet organized. I love fashion and my closet was overflowing. Your neighbors comment is so spot on. My light bulb moment. Maybe I didn’t need all those clothes to look cute and put together.
Wow! It changed my way of thinking about everything. It started me down this wonderful road to minimalism. It is freedom from possessions that are possessing you. I even cleaned out my digital. I don’t miss a thing I got rid of and it was tons of stuff.
Jacqueline says
Eve, I have loved fashion and clothes since I was a toddler, and I’m 68 now! “I could afford it,” and every item was highly organized, so it didn’t look like clutter–unless someone looked at the things from other seasons that were stored in a highly organized way and not visible. But, of course, the truth was that there has always been excess.
This continues to be my greatest challenge. I have been successful doing a shopping ban, and I have donated many very good things, but much remains. The project will continue, but at least I’m no longer bringing more in.
It has been much easier to minimize every other area of my life.
BL Reid says
Absolutely spot on.
LOVE this:
“Our possessions are not passive.
They are not merely indifferent in our pursuit of happiness and meaning.
They often stand in the way of it.”
Thank you,
Avid fan and follower,
BL
Lucy Maria McCracken says
This is so correct. I’m working on owning less and consuming less. It would be so wonderful if you had a Podcast on youtube or on a podcast app. I so enjoy your wisdom.
Kris says
He has a YouTube channel with great videos!
Cindy Schultz says
Now this I can wrap my head around. Less ‘stuff’ means less cleaning and organizing. And that in turn means more time riding my motorcycle (to also clear my head), playing with my grandchildren and not feeling guilty about a long afternoon nap or reading a book, watching a movie…
Very well written!
Mini me says
I have learned so much from you, Joshua! I started my journey towards minimalism in 2010 out of necessity. I have learned to want what I need and now I have just enough of everything. When I get the impulse to consume, I go to thrift stores and shop for items with other people in mind, for example someone in my circle who might be struggling with poverty or addiction. My best achievement in minimalism was when I sold my house 2 years ago, totally furnished.I left everything behind except a very few cherished items and it had been the most freeing experience of my life!
Alan says
“Everything we own requires a bit of ourselves.” So true!
All of a sudden you have very little to give to other people because you’re tied up in everything else that owns you to an extent.
Kari says
Possessions distract us from what makes us happy. That’s very true.
Whenever I see stuff lying around it clutters my mind as well. I can’t enjoy or concentrate on something until the clutter is out of sight. Out of sight out of mind I guess. But the less stuff I have the faster it is to clean or tidy up, and I’m not spending so much time cleaning. Also, the easier it is to find the motivation to actually get up and do it.