“It is not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game ever starts.” – Addison Walker
This past week I sent an e-mail to a friend. I thanked him for helping me over the years and being a significant factor in Becoming Minimalist’s success. He wrote back, “If I have helped you succeed, I am happy.” It was a short e-mail response, but it communicated an important truth: Our greatest successes in life are often found in helping others succeed. Our most lasting and fulfilling achievements are often earned by helping others fulfill theirs.
This is foreign thinking to a culture that often sees the world as one giant competition. In their mind, there is a set number of winners and losers. And if somebody else wins, that’s one less opportunity for me. But I have come to realize the mindset of competition is based on a faulty premise. It assumes there is a finite sized pie – that one more success in another’s life equals one less success in mine. But quite frankly, this thinking is incorrect.
There is wonderful freedom and grace in realizing the size of the pie is not finite – that in reality, the pie keeps growing. Another’s success does not mean I have less opportunity. In fact, another’s success can actually be my success if I had opportunity to enable, encourage, and promote them along the way!
Consider how helping another achieve success (however you/they decide to define it) results in significant benefits in a number of directions:
- The receiver has reached a far greater potential than they could have on their own.
- The world has been bettered and has been given a life-giving model to emulate.
- The giver is remembered fondly and is often publicly (and privately) thanked for their contribution.
- A stranger is likely to be the recipient of the original receiver “paying it forward.”
- And the cycle begins again.
Now, just to be clear, I am starting with an assumption that our greatest joys in life are rarely found in the relentless pursuit of selfish ambition – that selfish desires always leave us lacking and searching for more. Some may think that line of thinking is too unrealistic, far-fetched, or old-fashioned. They believe that in a dog-eat-dog-world if I’m not looking out for #1, nobody is. But that line of thinking is short-sighted.
Inherently, we know we have been designed to live for something greater than ourselves. Our contribution to this world has to be measured by something more meaningful than the size of our house or the neighborhood where it is located. And our lives are going to find lasting significance in how we choose to live them… and how we enable others to live theirs.
I have lived a full life of hardships, hardships that made me stronger! I am about to turn 40 in Nov. of this year (2016) and I see myself a survivalist.. NOT a victim and I am stronger, more confident then ever.. Surprisingly so, as for some don’t make it to where I am and I want to use my experiences to help those who can go the direction I struggled so hard to avoid. Mental illness, addiction, depression with sucidal tendencies, rape, abuse, self abuse… It’s strange.. I’m actually happy to have these lessons in life and say I’m surviving. Though I don’t have the first clue on how to become a leader. I am a single mother who can’t afford to go to school, whether it is time or money that is hard to find but I know I need to do this, for others, for my children but also for me! Though I need this to stay strong because even a survivors have their struggles. though the motive isn’t FOR me, the motive is to help others who are victims and show them that they are not.. But survivors and instead of being weaker and a fragile shells of themselves, show them just how much stronger they can be from their experiences and hopefully spread the message.. But how can I do this? I’m a mother who works to support my children off of one income. I have to work to support my family and it’s just me.. So the time I do have I try spending with my children so additional education can not be easily fit into the overwhelming schedule I already have or if I could find the time by sacrificing my income, I would not have the funds to afford additional education. But this is what I was meant to do! I know it, I survived for a reason.. But how do I change my direction in life when I have children I’m now responsible for? There was a time I could live in poverty or go without food and shelter to peruse a dream, but that is no longer the case.. So please, if you have ANY advice, I really would love to know so I can start changing the world one person at a time and eventually save more individuals throughout centuries of time.. I know.. I’m getting ahead of myself but why not p, dream big or go home!! Oh, I definitely plan to read more from you and yet to know if answers are already there.. But I’ve been sitting on this for a while now and very excited to start now.. Not AFTER my children are grown.. I believe strongly and maybe because of my life, but I live in the now because we can’t guarantee tomorrow will come!
To see something were negativity Had been found more prevalint…not likely of someone to speak good into the negative agains how others tryng to shape the idea maybe doint
Hi Joshua,
I agree with you. The finest form of happiness is found when we help others achieve their goals and dreams. I believe that happiness is a creature that exist through giving not receiving. And the purest form of happiness can be achieved when we give to others without looking for return or benefits.
Do you know how I make my life easy? By making other people’s life easy.
How can helping others impact a career path?? Please answer this, i need it!
EMM exists to provide shelter/housing, food, clothing and discipleship in the name of Jesus Christ to “the least of these.” Matthew 25:40. We are a Spirit led ministry in that as the Spirit of God directs us to help someone, we don’t question – we act, knowing and trusting that God will provide. With donations we are able to buy RV’s for the homeless.
https://everyonemattersministries.com/
Hi Joshua,
Your article, “Why Helping Others Succeed Can Be Your Greatest Success” reminded me of a popular article I came across on our site Wall Street Oasis (one of the largest online finance communities with over 4 million page views/month).
I enjoyed reading your article because you went in depth about the relationship between helping others and your own personal success. I can definitely agree that allowing others to succeed and helping them along their path can in the long run help with your own success.
Anyway, I thought your article had a great deal of discussion on stress which was similar to the article I read on the Wall Street Oasis.
If you’d like me to forward it your way let me know and I’ll gladly send it over.
-Jake
Wall Street Oasis
Thank you for sharing this great post! Doing something for others and make others happy is the best thing we can do in our lives. In my opinion there is no better feeling than help someone with something and see this true feeling of TRUE happiness in their eyes. I don’t know is there any better feeling, do you?
If we give more in our lives, it is sure thing that we will get more back.
Best Regards,
Silvija
Wonderful post ..Yes our life should be a meaningful one. We came to this world with empty hand, and will go with empty hand.
Whatever we have with us are taken from here, let us give it back to this world with lot of love.
Josh, the older I get the more I crave a sense of teamwork in this great country. The judgement, comparison, one-upping and back stabbing in our own society will be our own undoing. We certainly didn’t become a great country w such freedoms and privileges without teamwork! Raising four kids, I’m trying very hard to find a balance between teaching them how to succeed and stand apart from the crowd but to also embrace teamwork and community w an altruistic mindset. Becoming Minimalist is certainly helping me sort out what really matters in my life.