I love the holiday season. It’s one of the most memorable times of the year and a reminder for all of us to focus life on important things.
But it can often become a season of hurry, rush, and stress. We add commitments and events and consumerism to our already-crowded lives during the holidays. In our desire to make the most of it, we begin to lose sight of the true joy of the season.
Unfortunately, busy and “rushed” rarely leads to a merry holiday. If you want to enjoy more of your holiday season this year, identify what to remove.
Start with These Ten:
1. Excessive Gift-Giving.
Giving gifts is just fine, but excessive gift giving benefits no one. It adds debt, obligation, and financial burden to the life of the gift-giver and clutter to the home of the gift-receiver. Over half of us will receive an unwanted gift this holiday season. Make sure you’re not the one giving it.
2. Overspending.
Half of shoppers will overspend their holiday budget. To enjoy your season, stay within the financial limitations you have set yourself. Here are some helpful ideas to accomplish that. You can’t spend your way into a merrier season anyway.
3. Traditions that Don’t Serve You.
Holidays are holidays and traditions are traditions. But traditions are not the holiday. Maybe Rachel Jonat said it best, “We don’t have to continue holiday traditions that leave us broke, overwhelmed, and tired.” If a specific holiday tradition is not adding value to your season, end it.
4. Unnecessary Commitments.
The holiday season is known for its heightened sense of obligation. Work parties, neighborhood parties, club parties, holiday festivities… and the list goes on and on. Quick reminder: You are in charge of your holiday calendar and you do not need to appear everywhere you are invited. Lighten your schedule. If a commitment is unnecessary and not helping you make the most of your holiday season, cancel it.
5. Shopping “Sales.”
Retail stores are full of tricks to get you separated from your money. Sales racks are one of their methods. Most often, shopping the “sales” (whether they be in-store, online, or printed on mailers) results in buying things we never intended to purchase. Keep in mind, if you didn’t know you needed it until you saw it on sale, you don’t need it! Rather than shopping the sales rack, keep to your list instead.
6. Overeating.
Eating delicious food with family and friends is an enjoyable part of our holiday season. So, please enjoy. But do it responsibly. Emergency room visits increases 25 percent to 50 percent after the holidays because of overeating, over-drinking, and people not following their diets. Here’s your recipe for a more enjoyable holiday season: Enjoy yourself, but don’t overdo it. Your January you will thank you as well.
7. Trying to Create the “Perfect Holiday.”
’Tis the season for unreasonable expectations. We often get so frustrated and weary chasing the perfect holiday that we never take time to enjoy the one right in front of us. But once we slow down enough to notice our blessings, we begin to see that we already have everything we need for a perfect holiday season.
8. Holding Long-Held Grudges.
The holiday season is to be a celebration of peace, goodwill, and reconciliation. Yet, for many families, thoughts of peace rarely accompany the holidays. Instead, the exact opposite is all too common. Years of bitterness, resentment, and depression have been piled on top of misconceptions, misunderstandings, and misbehavior. This year, give the gift of overdue peace.
9. Envy.
Envy and jealousy foster discontent and distress. They bind our freedom, lead to resentment, cause us to do things we wouldn’t normally do, and can spiral into depression. But during the holiday season, people are prone to them. We compare our decorated homes, our holiday meals, the money we have to spend, and the amount of wrapped boxes under a plastic tree. Comparing yourself to others is no way to enjoy your holiday season. Appreciating what you have and not expecting more is the best way to enjoy your holiday. Actually, it’s the only way.
10. Your Home’s Clutter.
Excess possessions add burden onto our lives. They make entertaining more difficult and increase the weight of ordinary chores. Because the holiday season often means more possessions entering our home, our existing clutter adds to the frustration. And nobody likes piling clutter on top of clutter. Remove the unneeded possessions from your home. You’ll love a more relaxed, clutterfree holiday season.
The old adage is true: Less is more. Removing the items above from your holiday season will not cause you to sacrifice joy this holiday season—it will bring more of it.
Sandra says
I’m a Mother, Grandmother and Great Grandmother. I’ve learned to cut back a lot over the years for Christmas celebrations. All the adults 13 and over get a check. Those below 13 get two gifts. One to play and one to wear. I still put up a tree, mostly for me because it’s my tradition and I love sitting in the room in the evening with only the Christmas lights on. And there is a wreath on the door. That’s all. No Christmas cards. No big formal dinners anymore. Casual family buffets come as you are, if you can. I have less stress now and enjoy the season so much more.
Ellen Krohn Solvik-olsen Espedal says
Lucky are those with parties to go, to and family gatherings all through xmas and the new year. It is always spoken negative about doing to much and to much stress with social activities, but we are many people with little to do. Just remember to chose your best crowds, and you can relax with the best people. If they are not. Stay home.
Judy says
Minimal this year. Nieces and nephews families will be getting gift cards, so they can buy something the want or need. Haven’t put a tree up for years and keep decorations to one room, the living room.
My widowed father must have been a minimalist before there was a name for it. When we became adults he gave us no material gifts. He did not get caught up in the hype. When I was younger, it bothered me. But now I understand and am starting to have the same philosophy as he. His quote was “Style is killing people.” as in going into debt, impressing others, or keeping up with the Jones.
Trying to live simple. Thankful for Joshua’s tips and motivational messages.
Luis Zelaya says
Your father was a wise man!
Claudia says
Thank you
John Paul says
Wow!
Most of the things on that list is what I do on a holiday season.
One thing that always bothers me is that I tend to overeat during holidays and cut back on my workouts. This results in weight gain.
That’s one thing I might change this year. Anyway thanks for the tips.
Its helpful.
Tina says
I think it is amazing that everyone has at least one unpleasant relative. I used to get so upset when my mother visited. My husband has a cousin who gets drunk and breaks things. My daughter and both daughter in laws are wonderful and make my life so much easier. They protect me from the worst of the craziness and their friends are delightful.
Anya says
Joshua, I love this list, but I’m going to have to add a caveat to #8. We have one relative on each side with borderline personality disorder, and while we have nothing against them and wish them well, they’ve wrecked enough holidays with their drama, tantrums and attention-seeking that we just don’t invite them anymore. And believe me, we’ve tried. We are very much at peace with this— it lets us focus on the holiday and the kids, and it gets rid of the dread.
Kaki says
I agree with Anya, we tried for 25 years to help a member of the family and it’s much nicer not having to deal with the drama and pain for us.
Luis Zelaya says
Your mental health comes first. No need to deal with people who don’t want to change.
Linda says
For sure.
Ruth says
Wow so judgemental! Try educating yourself on bpd before making such a judgemental unchristian like comment. Those with bpd have this disorder often due to significant childhood trauma. They deserve your understanding and compassion at what is meant to be a time of kindness, not your vile judgment.
Michelle says
Have dealt with BPD. His comments are spot on. 12 years of complete hell.
Megan says
Nobody is stigmatizing BPD. Anya has a right to invite who she wants to her holidays, and sometimes that means a smaller set of people. Furthermore, trauma associated with BPD is not an excuse to traumatize others.
Jana L Van Dyke says
So does having BPD give you a free pass to continually inflict pain by your words and actions? Are there times, even with BPD, that you are able to control your outbursts? Because if you can at times, but you choose not to when around family, I have to call BS on that. I have a son with BPD who is 31. Somehow after a lifetime of loving support and financial help, we are at fault for everything. We did not cause his trauma, and we tried in every way to help him deal with it. But it’s never enough. If I helped last week, but not this week, last week doesn’t count. For my own mental health, there has to be a time when you say ENOUGH. Even people with BPD can still be held accountable for their actions.
Judy says
Christmas cards!?!?
Any advice? Suggestions? Opinions?
I have sent them out every year… and this year, I just don’t feel like doing it! I am choosing not to :)
Steve says
I really enjoy sending out Christmas cards. That said, I generally do not care for mass mailed Christmas letters or Christmas photos that have no connection to the season. I choose to send a handwritten note inside a Christmas card that is appropriate for the person or family I am sending it to. This activity brings me joy, so I do it, but I understand that many people see sending Christmas cards as an obligatory burden.
Regarding gifts, my mom goes way over the top. She asks for a list and she’ll get nearly everything people write down. A month after Christmas it is difficult to recall what she got me, my wife or my kids because it is just so much. It is hard to enjoy. I have repeatedly asked for only one gift, but to no avail. She likes to give gifts, so she has dismissed my requests to my face. I have written letters to her to urge her to back off on the gifts, but she ignores that too. She regularly outdoes Santa Claus for the kids. I urge her to get experiential gifts for the kids, and this year for me, I decided to give her a list of items for a house of hospitality for homeless families, women, and immigrants that I like to support, so I can turn around and pass the gifts along. I doubt that my mom will respect these requests, as the list is mostly household goods and items, but it is worth a try.
Jackie says
Only write down one gift! It’s so easy when it’s not my problem!
Monica Mimier says
The thing about specific Gift Cards is you have to spend them at that place. I have cards from how many years, unused. Cash is King, ha
Dagmar says
She loves to give and it shows in a big way, and the best that you can do is to accept graciously. This is her way and it makes her happy. What you can do then with the gifts is to pay them forward. Teach your kids this as well. Take them to a shelter or donate to a charity which is what you have already planned. It doesn’t matter what she gives you, she is your mom. This will keep the peace and make her happy too.
Cyndi says
I stopped sending out Christmas cards five years ago. I call people instead or they can find me on Facebook. It was a huge burden lifted. Enjoy your Christmas with less stress!
Annette says
Hi! You could do them online.as real cards or a digital christmasletter with fotos imbeded. All the best Annette
Nicole says
That’s what we do! I personally hate to buy and give cards for any occasion as I find if you say what you want to say to their face at the time of giving the gift it’s more meaningful in that moment. Cards either get binned, or stored with lost context and meaning, so I say if you don’t think it’s unnecessary, save a tree!
However, my partner does love giving cards so we’ve comprised for Xmas. Every year we send a card with our pictures on the front and save a copy for our selves. It’s fun to look over the years at the different photos we chose. We are excited to spend time designing them and it’s a fun challenge to capture our “Xmas photo”. One year it was our trip overseas, the next we’d been to an art place and it looked like we were painted inside a snow globe another year we found a Santa graffitied on the wall and took a picture in front of it. It is becoming something everyone looks forward to doing/receiving and is a fun snapshot of our lives, not just words on a blank card.
Kathy says
Emailing this year’s Christmas card has saved me a TON of money and time and created almost no stress at all. I will send paper-cards with some photo prints to low-tech loved ones, but the whole process of creating a photo-card is over for me. Good riddance, and welcome to a peaceful greeting-process that leaves me time to actually write a meaningful personal note in my own hand.
Peggy says
I stopped sending out Christmas cards decades ago. This was long before the focus on reducing paper and long before we had the internet to keep in touch.
My family know I am a minimalist and do not want gifts from anyone. I give gifts only to children. We live in a first world country and the adults I know buy their own stuff when they want something.
Jennifer Wallington says
Absolutely awesome! I send a few Christmas cards to older relatives and acquaintances but literally 10 cards. I love being a minimalist too,
Lois says
You are so wise! I agree.
Nina says
So don’t send them – don’t feel that you must do anything. Do what makes this deeply meaningful season joyful for you. And revel in it!
Kara says
I send cards every year too with a family photo on them. In addition, I like to send a letter that tells about what is going on with us and the kids bc we aren’t big on social media and sharing with “everyone” all year long. Last year I just couldn’t write a letter that I liked so we opted not to do the letter and just send the card instead. This year, we made an infographic type letter for 2020 and it was a hoot. I think the key is doing what feels reasonable and brings you joy. Get creative or just skip one year. Life will go on. I send cards because it brings me joy to stay connected and greet family and friends over the miles. As soon as it no longer does that, it will no longer be something I “do”. Here’s wishing you joy in whatever you choose!
Sharon Elenbaas says
I’m not sending either. Environment and just no time. Will text messages to those I love.
Gail jones says
We are a family of 16, 10 grandkids. A few years ago we decided to draw names, spend only 20 to 25 dollar on gifts and don’t tell who you have. This gives the kids there own special gift which they look forward to. During the year the females purchase small sale items and we play secret santa gift game which the kids get excited and its fun with all, last year we played twice. We are blessed beyond measure, that we all give to others during the season and kids are involved in church programs. They know the real reason for the season! What more could grandparents ever wish for!
Sandra says
What a great list! Less is more, no doubts :)
the laughing goat says
Y, I think you need to check yourself. You have insulted and spewed nasty names… YOU really need to get with the true Christmas/Holiday spirit that you attempt to speak of.