“Focus is often a matter of deciding what things you’re not going to do.” –John Carmack
Growing up, my Christmas Eves were simple—and wonderful.
Because my grandfather was a pastor, every Christmas Eve, we would pile into our family car, drive through the South Dakota snow, and attend the little church on Melgaard Road. Following the service, all the relatives would cram into my grandparents’ small house.
We would eat. We would each open 1-2 presents. And make some of the most beautiful memories of my childhood.
Our Christmas was simple and wonderful. I wouldn’t change anything about it. In fact, I think it was wonderful because it was simple. It kept our main thing the main focus of the holiday.
Church came first. Always. Everything else came afterwards—and only as there was room for it. The less important was secondary and never allowed to press out the most important reason of our season.
There is a growing debate over how to fix Christmas. I’m not sure society is at a tipping point quite yet (retail numbers would seem to indicate otherwise). But as holiday displays show up in stores earlier and earlier, as more and more Black Friday sales begin on Thursday, and as consumers sink deeper and deeper into debt, the world is beginning to recognize that our holiday season is broken, expectations have become too high, the perfect Christmas is beginning to appear unattainable, and the less important is beginning to crowd out the most important.
But the perfect holiday season is not as difficult to find as most think. The perfect holiday season is found in simplicity, keeping your main thing the main thing, and not allowing anything less important to take its place.
- Holiday gifts are fine—just don’t let them distract from the most important.
- Seasonal decorations are fine—just don’t let them distract from the most important.
- Christmas cookies are fine—just don’t let them distract from the most important.
- Large, delicious meals are fine—just don’t let distract from the most important.
- A busier schedule is manageable—just don’t let it distract from the most important.
Surely, each of us will define our holiday most important differently. Many will seek spiritual renewal. Some will celebrate family. Some will refocus on giving to others. Some will seek rest. Some will set aside this year to remember the passing of a loved one. Others will consider the opportunity to evaluate the passing year and refocus on the next. Many will choose a combination of the above.
But your most important step is to define your main thing this holiday season. When you do, you’ll surely have space to include some of the holiday trimmings. But once you feel the less important beginning to push out the most important, it’s time to refocus, cut-back, and simplify.
This may mean fewer gifts, fewer lights, fewer decorations, fewer cookies, fewer side dishes, and fewer commitments. But that’s okay.
Your Christmas can still be simple—and wonderful. I know mine was.
Beth says
Your childhood Christmas sounds like mine. I appreciate the simplicity so much and would love to duplicate that for my children. Some of my warmest memories of Christmas are in a little church in the country. Those are also my earliest memories of Jesus. Merry Christmas to you and your family Joshua!
Kelli says
Thank you for this reminder. I find my family tries to have our main thing be everything. For next year, I am going to work on having a family-wide unified focus. Your posts are always so inspiring.
John says
I don’t think we need to “fix” Christmas either…I think the problem is our culture as a whole. We are flooded with wanting and needing in advertising and from family. We have mistaken things for love. Yule used to be a time of reflection and gratitude, when a time of lean finally made the turn back to a time of bounty. Now it is about greed…and we fuel it by participating in Black Friday starting on Thursday…hell, even by participating in Black Friday at all.
I like the idea of limiting the number of gifts. I think that next year I am going to limit gifts to things I make. Each person may only get one or two things, but I will put more thought than just what is on sale. I have a year to figure it out for sure.
Carol Humphreys says
A friend suggested for children’s gift. Get them something they want, something they need,
and something to read.
Bill says
What a great approach. My grandmother always gave me books. They were usually classics about adventure, like Jules Verne. I used to keep them by my bed at night and really loved reading them.
Amelia says
This is where my heart is! It is so refreshing to read your blogs on a daily basis. I have conversations with people and it is clear there is an empty place for manny in their celebrations this time of year. People desire more meaning and purpose. Yet, there are so many things that deceive us with false promises of instant and deep fulfillment. It can leave such a void as soon as we’re taking out the trash the very same day. “What now?”
What do I now look to for the reward of the labor of my days. It truly saddens me.
However, I have a great joy and expectation personally as I look toward our family celebrations. I am thrilled and overjoyed to know that my children will reach into another families life and bring more than just a tree and gifts. We celebrate the emence joy of what a Incredible loving God who came through a baby in a manger means for the true purpose of our lives.
I hope I haven’t made my comment too long. I’ve been following your blog for a while now. I just want you to know how the daily perspective you share reaches farther than you could ever imagine.
Thank you truly.
Amelia Rose
Donna says
Thank you for giving me the confirmation that I am on the right track, for me, this year.
LESS IS MORE to enjoy the important things this year and in the years to come.
Teresa says
I usually go “all out” decorating our home for Christmas, making cookies for the neighbours etc. While I’ve always enjoyed it, it also creates stress. This year, I decided to go more minimalist. I set up the tree with the lights, and then my husband I realized that we liked it that way, and didn’t add anything else. It’s already gorgeous and we LOVE the simplicity of just lights. We have stockings by the fireplace, advent candles and a nativity scene. That’s it! It took me less than an hour, instead of all day. I spent the rest of the day drinking hot cocoa, listening to Christmas music, and reading a great book under a blanket on the couch.
I also donated most of the other decorations to charity earlier this fall, since I didn’t need them anymore. So far, I feel relaxed, am enjoying a beautiful house and am looking forward to spending stress free time with family and friends in the next month!
Minimalist Christmas was my Christmas gift this year!
Ali Davies says
I great reminder that if we operate from a values based approach to life – whether it be Christmas, work, relationships, living etc – you can’t go far wrong.
puNDuKE says
I agree that it is a spiritual thing for me as well.. the change of the season and renewal are deeply a part of us in understanding what we are especially to one another.
I rarely comment on your e-mails/posts but I just want you to know my wife and I have been following and receiving your e-mails and I always look to them for guidance to bettering myself in minimalistic terms since I feel we still have much to learn. I agree with a lot of what you say and wish to better ourselves in this sense and we appreciate your passion involved with this and sharing the wisdom. Thank you very much!
Sam Matla (Minimal Blog) says
Great post mate! Everyone needs to be reminded that Christmas is not just about receiving presents :)
EugeneHennie.com says
Great post. I don’t think there is any need to “Fix” Christmas. But I do there there is a need for people to actually focus on the true meaning. I’m living in Malaysia now and missing my family. My Girlfriend and I are planning to spend Christmas in Hong Kong. Focus on the basics!