Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Courtney Carver of Be More with Less.
“I have memories – but only a fool stores his past in the future.” – David Gerrold
As you simplify, you will notice that the most important stuff is left. This applies to kitchenware, toy boxes, closets and even to your sentimental treasures. Often times, the most difficult stuff to get rid of, is the stuff soaked in memories. We become attached to things that remind us of our past, and our loved ones. Your great grandfather’s pocket watch, your first pair of roller skates, or your son’s artwork from kindergarten, all transport you to another time, and usually fill you with lovely memories. Unfortunately, because you don’t want to clutter your home with stuff, these treasures are buried in boxes in the garage or attic, only to be rediscovered during a move, or a trip down memory lane.
I must admit, I am a sap and a sentimental fool. I get teary driving past a wedding, hearing stories about my grandparents or cooking one of my favorite dishes from childhood. In my life, I have saved notes from the 4th grade, albums from my first rock star crush, my daughter’s first bathing suit, heart shaped rocks from hiking with my husband and jackets my dad gave me that never fit, but were so cool, because they were his.
How do you get rid of the stuff that means so much, and evokes so much emotion, in the name of minimalism and simplicity? There are several ways to simplify the sentimental. Each concept includes focusing on what is most important and honoring your history.
Share the love. Unless you are on a mission to live with less than a certain number of things, why not display some of your sentimental items? Less does not mean none. Paring down your objects of memory does not necessarily mean ridding yourself of them all. Instead, paring down your sentimental items allows you to focus on the most meaningful. Chances are, the things with all the memories are in a box in the garage or attic. Sort through those boxes and choose the things that mean most to you and your family and display them. Sometimes we hold onto things to hold onto people that have left our lives. Honor the ones you love by sharing what was theirs.
After all, a box full of memories stashed in the basement is far less meaningful than 3-4 specific items displayed proudly in your home. So go through that box of mother’s things in the basement, select the 3 that most represented her life and the influence that she had, display them proudly, and remove the rest.
Make it useful. Did you save the china that your parents received on their wedding day or a special necklace that was passed down to you? Why not use it? Donate your everyday plates and eat off the dishes that mean so much. Wear the memorable piece of jewelry every day instead of waiting for a special occasion, or forgetting about it completely. You may come across things that you can’t use and don’t want to keep, but someone else will find your sentimental items to be quite useful. Use them or pass them on.
Put it in the cloud. If you have been saving printed photographs, documents, receipts and other paperwork for years, it might be time to digitize your docs. Sort through it all and toss the trash. Scan the rest or hire someone to do it for you, and organize in folders. From there, back it up through Dropbox.
Shoot your stuff. When you are uncluttering, save the things that mean the most to you, and take a picture before letting them go. Preserve the memories inspired by stuff through photography. Group items creatively or take pictures using the things. For instance, if you saved a baseball hat from your childhood little league team, take a picture of your child wearing it. Create a digital photo book with images and descriptive text, so you can enjoy your memories without the clutter. A book like this makes a beautiful gift to someone else in the family who wants to enjoy the memories without the clutter.
Tell your story. The most powerful thing we can offer is our story. As you simplify your life, you will come to the realization that the most sentimental things aren’t things at all, but stories of the people and places we love, and how we spend our time. Write about the things you love, instead of holding onto them. Start a family blog or keep a personal journal. Your words may start out describing your mother’s watch, but turn into a beautiful story about an afternoon the two of you spent together.
Approach each area or section of your life the same when it comes to letting go, and revel in what unfolds. Not only do you make room for the good stuff, but you can clearly identify what is most meaningful to you. Instead of filling boxes with the things that define your life, spend more time creating your life, giving to others and sharing your story with actions, thoughts and gratitude.
What other ideas do you have for shedding sentimental stuff?
***
Courtney is a writer and fine art photographer. She writes about simplifying and living life on purpose at Be More with Less. You can also follow her on Twitter.
Stefanie says
The “Shoot your stuff” really will help me. I have a pretty big collection of Hard Rock T-Shirts, which I started 15 years ago. I have like 30 shirts and over the years, they just don’t get better. Now with this hint, I set a reminder in my calender, and will take pictures of all of them, when I have days off in the next week.
This hint is really good. I was thinking of doing a quilt out of them, but I am not the quilt typ. Taking pictures is way better. I think I will make a collage and then have it as a book.
Thank you so much!
Jessica K says
I have been hanging onto stuff for years, but was forced into decluttering because I am potentially moving into a much smaller space overseas. I donated some very sentimental stuff, and it was difficult for me because some of the stuff was with me since childhood and it was like I was erasing a part of me and I had also gone through some other personal losses right at the same time I donated the items. It’s amazing what emotion can be evoked and triggered from an inanimate object.
globug says
“…it was like I was erasing a part of me.”
That is exactly how I feel. It’s almost as though if I do not have the object(s) that somehow I will lose the past and the people in it. I have to have the objects as concrete evidence of my history. I’m not sure how I can change this thinking.
mary w says
Thanks for this! I just moved and am moving again and have gone through round 1 of deciding how to handle an abundance of sentimental memories. I have to say that round 1 was completely exhausting! Round 2 is coming up. For example, I had over 90 Waterford crystal goblets that I had inherited from my mother. Yes–over 90! Try packing and moving that. Nobody I know needs 90+ goblets unless you are entertaining the president, or some such. I decided to keep a set of 8, designated another small set for my daughter, then will be using those “highball” glasses for every day needs, like juice and milk. I sold 2 big sets on eBay, and I’m giving away another set to a friend. I think guilt has held me back until now. But my daughter reminded me that we weren’t disrespecting my mother to get rid of some of these. It feels so much better now and I hope to never have to pack and move 90+ crystal goblets ever again!
Linda Erskine says
For those who like quilting – those special clothes can be incorporated into a quilt, either a patterned one using the materials or a memorial one specific to the person or family. When my dad died I made a small quilted wall hanging using materials from a favourite shirt, dressing gown and swimmers. I incorporated details from his life and attached buttons from his uniform that he used to wear. It is useful to then write a little note and put it in a pocket attached to the back so that others can know the full story and meaning of all the parts.
Valerie says
I made a tshirt quilt for my niece of all of her tshirts as a kid. It turned out great! She took it to college with her.
Mu says
I often feel like I am the repository of the family, and I don’t want to be that anymore. My grandmother willed some (hideous — HIDEOUS) china to my sister, who does not want to use it. My mother couldn’t store it, so I consented to. It has moved with me through several cities, and now I would like to get rid of it. My mother forbids me to sell or give it away: “that was your grandmother’s china, and she willed it to your sister, it’s not yours to throw away, etc.” Sister, mother and cousins do not want to use it. Multiply that by a number of other items besides the china, and that’s the situation I feel that I”m in. No one in my family wants to use it, and no one wants to push the consent button on getting rid of it. How do I convince the rest of my family to LET GO of sentimental items that they openly admit they DON’T want to USE or STORE themselves?
Jessica says
It is going to be really hard to change being the “repository” because people have become accustomed to it, but it can be done! Really, no one can forbid you to get rid of something that they aren’t willing to take but it depends on how much drama you can put up with should you choose not to store it. For me, it would be worth people being a little upset to not store a whole bunch of dishes that no one wants.
I would probably send an email to your sister telling her that you are out of storage space, so she will either need to take her china back or you will be passing it on. If she is not willing to take it, then I would ask your mom if she wants to store it and be clear that you will not be able to store it anymore and that you really think someone, even if it isn’t a family member, should be enjoying the china rather than have it sit around for all eternity. That way, everyone will have a choice, and you have given them ample opportunity.
Mu says
I will try that again. I have now gotten rid of a great deal of my things and I find that most of the items in my garage are not mine, and no one in my family wants to throw away. Folks will have 1 more chance to pick up items and then I will have a yard sale. It will be nice to be able to park my car in the garage again.
Jaclyn Reynolds says
It wasn’t willed to you, so they are just using you as storage for it. I would give it back to them. What would happen if you called their bluff and said you already donated it?
I hope it all works out and you become free of it!
Sheri says
This is an easy one….call sister and mother, say this china is leaving my house now. You can either come get it or it can go to Goodwill….you have until x.
sara says
Wow! thank you – amazing article which Amanda Wiss of Urban Clarity suggested I read! All so pertinent – and I kNOW my adult children do not want to have to go through all the stuff my sentimental mom left me to worry over! Digitize! Yes! and write stories? many thanks – so helpful! and thanks Amanda – I’ll try harder!!
Katherine says
Hi,
I read this article. It is already a chore to edit my paper photos let alone take more photos of the sentimental items! Really struggling with how to prioritize the sentimental items — thanks for the tips. I can use more!!!!
David says
What an incredible post.
Thanks.
Jaymie says
Wow! Blog about it! I love that idea!! Def going to do that! Thanks!
dave peters says
in truth, life militates against sentimentality and ambition.
d