I love owning less.
I made a decision years ago to intentionally live with fewer possessions. It was born, mainly, out of my growing discontent with the focus of my life’s energy. As the size of my home increased and the number of things stuffed into closets grew, more and more time was spent caring for them.
While cleaning my garage one Saturday morning, I began to realize how much of my life was being stolen by the things that I own. As a result, the things that meant the most to me were being neglected. I immediately began to remove the nonessential.
Since deciding to own less, I’ve experienced countless benefits: more time, more money, more freedom, more energy, less stress, and less distraction.
Owning less provides me the opportunity to pursue my greatest passions. It’s great. And I’ll never go back to my previous lifestyle.
But along the way, I discovered something even better than owning less: Wanting less.
I’ll explain.
Not long ago, I was visiting a friend at his home down the street. As we were talking, he mentioned how nervous he was about the upcoming weekend. I began to ask why.
“Well,” he said, “we have some new friends coming over for dinner. And I’m a little embarrassed about the size of our house.” He proceeded to tell me the backstory.
Recently, he and his wife had met some new friends. And last weekend, they went to their house for dinner.
“Joshua, it was huge,” he remarked, “and beautiful and every room had gorgeous furniture in it. It was one of the nicest homes I’ve ever been in!”
But now, this coming weekend, their friends would be coming over to their home for the first time. And last weekend’s experience has left my friend self-conscious about the size of his home.
I went about my friendly-duty of assuring him he had nothing to worry about. Things would be just fine. His house was plenty big. And the feeling you get when you enter a home is far more important than square footage or the make of the furniture.
All the while, I felt a bit of sadness for him. What a crummy way to live… constantly scanning the possessions of others and comparing them to your own. There is no joy to be found in that approach to life. It will always lead to discontent and envy.
But soon after, I began to analyze the emotions and feelings I had experienced during his telling of the story. We had moved into a smaller home years ago and I couldn’t be happier with it—the benefits of a smaller home are fantastic. I don’t even want a bigger house anymore. I drive past them all the time and think to myself, “I’m sure glad I don’t have to take care of that big thing!”
As my friend was sharing his story, I began to reflect on how much my life has changed and how unattractive the constant pursuit of material possessions has become to me. Not only do I own less, I want less. And this is a wonderful place to be.
Because I don’t want to own more than I already have, I am freed from the constant comparing of my stuff to others. I am no longer bound to the incessant pursuit of more money and more stuff. I have found contentment in the things that I own. I have discovered more room for generosity. And I have begun to bend my pursuits towards things that matter.
Indeed, owning less is great, but wanting less is even better. (tweet that)
About Joshua Becker
“It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.
-Seneca the Younger
I love the minimalist living philosophy and also appreciate your minimalist writing style. Kudos. I’m very inspired!
JOSHUA do you own your home or do you rent ??
One week ago we moved from our large home on a huge block to a modest home with a postage stamp backyard. I was exhausted from the effort of maintaining and caring for this place that impressed others but actually did not care for me in return. We halved our pocessions before the move. Still our double garage is full of things that don’t fit. And I’m so grateful they don’t because they are all going. I finally feel like the air is clear, I can breathe and I can see my life! My family and friends thought I was mad – but we still have the same friends and family, we still do the same things everyday. Nothing at all about our lives has been lost. Instead of living in a house for when people visit, my house needs to nurture what we need everyday. After all we are the ones that live there 99.9 percent of the time. Not the visitors!
Agree. We live in a small house by choice. One area that we have really tried to focus in is having gratitude for the things we do have. It’s so refreshing to get rid of the stuff and clutter, but maintaining it and becoming a gate keeper of stuff has been an interesting journey. Now I think to myself, where will the new possession go?
I recently read an article about economic class and minimalism – summed up it said the poor can’t afford to be minimalist, but your article pointed out that its the mindset not the income that truly matters. Contentedness brings happiness and peace. I am 25, married, one kid, with one on the way, and am appalled at how much stuff we have amassed in the past 5 years despite several moves. This article has inspired/re-motivated me to free our lives up for real living! I have had a dream for years of gatherings in my home with something as simple as beef stew and biscuits, guess I need to make it happen!
I love that I, too, became a minimalist about 9 years ago. You see, my husband died of pancreatic cancer and we were not at all prepared for such a horrific life change. We were still getting the kids out of school and looking forward having time by ourselves. After his death and having to deal with the aftermath, I realized that all the things he worked on so hard didn’t really matter any more. All the things he saved had no real meaning. All that mattered to me were my memories of him and our pictures. I learned in a very short time that “stuff” means nothing. The more “stuff” there is, the more “stuff” people have to deal with after you die. I didn’t want our kids to ever have to deal with my “stuff” when I die so I started getting rid of so much junk. If it meant anything to them, they could have it. I gave things away. I threw things away. I didn’t need a 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom house anymore. I wanted a tiny 800 sq ft house. I sold my house. I got completely out of debt. I have nothing in storage. I figured if I have to store it, I don’t need it. I don’t have anything in my closet that I won’t/can’t wear. I only have 4 towels and 12 wash cloths. I have one set of sheets. What I have is nice. I’m proud of what little I have. When I die, my kids won’t have to deal with very much. I feel sorry for people, especially young people, who set themselves up in debt for more more more and bigger bigger bigger and none of it satisfies them, yet they just keep on buying buying buying to impress impress impress. I can truly and honestly say that I am so happy with my life and I don’t need or want any more than I have.
I loved your post. Thanks for sharing
Enough is as good as a feast….don’t know the origin of this wisdom but have used it as a mantra in my life. Love your posts.
I too can honestly and sincerely say that I don’t want more. I drove by my previous “McMansion” home last week and actually felt sorry for the new owners having to take care of that lovely but huge place. I envisioned them roaming through those cavernous rooms that now echo in my mind and I am grateful I learned to be happy with less. My new place is perfect for me.
After reading your blog I felt good about myself. It kind of validate what I have been practicing especially of late. I still go shopping for clothes , for food but not on luxury goods anymore such as branded bags and jewelry, or car. I just realized why would I still purchase these expensive items when I just keep them away and seldom use them. I already got over them. Why would I need a luxury car that is high maintenance when what I have is a reliable one? Why would I spend $5K for another LV when I already have more than I can use that I bought years ago for lesser amount and they only go out of the cabinet during special occasions? Why would I need more jewelry when I don’t even have the time to change what I am already wearing? Funny isn’t it?
Now that I know someone shares my thinking , I am all the more determined to wanting less and just keep the money for other better use. I am able to help a relative purchase a vehicle as a means of livelihood , helped a student finished a dentistry degree, pledge a big amount to my church, as well as offer weekly tithing, give donations to charities, and contribute / share to some noble causes. I am just middle class but because of now wanting less, I feel free.
Thanks again to your article, you validated me without you knowing it.
5 years ago, I moved everything out of my kitchen to have it re-painted throughout. After 6 weeks of gradually bringing in the stuff i used, I decided to give everything else away. Now if I have any kind of big party – out come the plastic plates! Thankfully none of my family are that posh that they would expect their meals on china. :-)
I used to own a 700+ sf condo. Being my first huge investment, I spent more money than I should decorating the space so that “I can be a better host”. Things just started accumulating and it took a major career change to make me realize how much time and money I have wasted. Three years later, I have decluttered, let go of much stuff, and proud to keep my possession within a 8′ by 6′ shed. Thanks for continuing to inspire Joshua!
I enjoyed reading this so much. Joshua your blog has been an inspiration. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Josh,
Sad for your neighbor. I collected “enough needed stuff” for serving an army: napkins, plates, tablecloths, silverware, on and on – all to make hosting people for meals “acceptable”. Fast forward some years we live in a 2 bedroom condo without space to serve an army. But a year ago a friend made a comment that really made me realize I had it wrong. He said “no one cares about pretty napkins or matching plates. They remember good food, great conversation and feeling welcomed”
Our extended family switched to heavy duty paper plates and heavy duty plastic ware. No one has complained
We brought up one son and are bringing up another. They’ve been rough on the matching dinnerware. As pieces break, I go to the thrift store and buy a replacement that I like. It doesn’t match, but I think it’s pretty. No one coming over has every complained!
Relay good post thank you
Thank you for the wonderful postings each and everyone. I was a hoarder of unique items…clothing, household goods and anything I deemed unique. I shopped everywhere, thrift stores, flea markets, high end stores, you name it, I shopped it. At first, my home was lovely, I received many compliments. I dressed beautiful and received many compliments. If someone needed something, I had it, most of the time, I had several items of the same. Currently I own over 100 pairs of shoes, just for me????? After thinking about it, I don’t know why??? I only have two feet….and I’m retired with half of my time in tennis. All the closets in my home are filled with my clothing, a room filled with tots, containing my clothing alone. I could go on and on with linens and kitchen goods etc…but did I also mention the tremendous debt I’m in with this habit of buying. I am now coming to my senses realizing that I must fix this mess. Less for me is best. I have slowly began to rid myself of this demon. Thank you for all of the postings and please pray that I will defeat my weakness. I know I will.
If there’s a will, there’s a way! You can do it!
When I vacationed at a Florida Timeshare on year, I was so impressed how nice the set-up was, minimalist and functional to enjoy our stay. 8 plates, 8 this and that, few pans, etc. I enjoyed myself so much and came to a conclusion that I really don’t need 75% of my stuff in my kitchen or bedroom. When I arrived home, I donated/sold about 1/2 of my used/unused appliances/glasses …stuff that is there taking up space and making no sense for cluttering up cabinets. I make it my goal now, to live to a minimal and I know now never to fall for the donut maker, the slushee machine, the other stuff that ends up at Goodwill anyway.
My husband and I do not have any children, which makes us the last in line of a relatively large family. As the older generations passed away, some of the younger generations decided that we should keep their heirlooms here at our house. We don’t live in a mansion, but we are 2 people in a 2500 sq foot 2-bedroom home. Over the years, the sheer amount of stuff that has been “gifted” to us has become suffocating. We would like to move in 5 years to a different climate and semi-retire to a much smaller house. Now that all of the elder generations have passed on, we are finally free to dispose of some of these items without guilt (it is still very difficult). The process has started, but it is so overwhelming! I never had a chance to become a shopaholic because there was no room left after everybody bestowed their possessions upon us!
I feel your pain. Currently dealing with everyone else’s stuff that felt I had to have to honour their memory. While I’m honouring the ones that have passed I’m unable to enjoy my present! I’m sure that is not something they would want!
I have always felt once an item is given to you, it’s yours to do with as you please. Sell it, give it away
Or enjoy.
four years ago we decided to sell a beautiful custom built 3400 sf home ..with the kids grown and out we used less than half of it. Had a small mortgage left and figured, why not buy smaller, older with cash and be debt free at 50 :)
We ordered our pod the week of the moving sale…and made a deal we would only be taking that which fit in the pod ;) Everything else sold…I had over 100 tubs of holiday decor..
here we are 4 years later in an 850 sf house, and seriously considering going even smaller ;) Works great, husband is disabled Veteran, we are basically retired and debt free at 55 years of age…house is clean in an hour a day…life is good
Don’t go smaller, you still need to be able to move around your home. I downsized to a mobile home from a large ranch style home. I still have stuff to get rid of,
But I think I’d feel claustrophobic in
Less space.
Thank you for this article. My father is a minimalist and we inherited his attitude. He said the less you have the richer you are.
I want to have less friends.. Less friends = less headaches I am now a minimalist
My family and i moved into a big house about a year ago. Since i was the only one in charge of packing, i try to downsize on things and took only what we still use and gave the rest to other relatives, but furniture wise, we need to buy more. Unfortunately, i couldn’t give away my personsl stuff for i am the smallest in the family(dress and shoe size that is).
Anyways, since the move made everything seem like we are so much better off, a(i say a for we believe it is the same person) burglar had tried to invade our house twice. Now, we are so afraid to open and get out of the house without thinking that he would come back. My mom(an old woman at almost 80) doesn’t want to leave the house when we want to go out and we can’t possibly leave her alone. It has gotten really embarrassing owning too much and not being able to enjoy life’s simple pleasures. This article had got me thinking, is all this “wealth” really worth it?
My husband and I downsized three years ago and it felt great to purge so much of the stuff we had collected over many years. My new saying is “small up and simple down” and it feels great to do so. When I came across a treasured item that I really had no use for other then the memory it held I took a picture of it and put it in a memory book, then let the item go. We are in a happy place with much less stuff.
Superb article…it really makes u think and we need to be responsible for our fellow human beings in need.If you can live a simple life, it makes your life so joyful!!
This is very true and worth sharing to my friends.
After years of shopping, I g o t divorced and sold my house and most of my things. Now I have met a wonderful man, but he loves estates sales and garage sales. He goes along with my on some things, but we don’t need 5 snowmobiles and 15 hammers. Help
If your man is wonderful as you stated, he will listen to you and compromise…… Talk to him.
I am very new to this minimalist ideology but I am so excited about it! The distressing quantity of stuff my children received for Christmas a few days ago has brought this issue to a head for me.
I wanted to share a wonderful idea I came across to solve a problem, but first a bit of back story….. My two children have their birthdays at the same time of year and two years ago they each had a party (with school friends) and the parties were a week apart. The vast quantity of (mostly rubbishy) gifts that entered my house was highly distressing. I was also aghast at the amount some individuals gave – the gift from one of my son’s school friends contained 4 books, a DVD and 2 toys! Someone else gave my daughter not one, but four craft kits!
I made a new rule: only one party per year. Last year was my daughter’s turn – she received lots of junk, but at least my son didn’t get anything. This year as my son’s party approached I ran into an old friend who gave me the following idea. When I emailed the invitations I wrote: ” Instead of a gift we ask that you bring a gold coin (which is $1 or $2 in Australian money) to pop into AJ’s piggy bank so he can buy himself something at a later date.”
It worked! We got one gift, everyone else brought coins. A few people thanked me for making it so easy. I think if you asked people to bring nothing you would get more people ignoring your wishes and bringing gifts, because most people don’t like to come “empty handed” – but this way they can bring a token and everyone’s happy.
Our grandkids have ‘toonie’ 2$ coin, birthday parties. They love it. They are still under the age of 10, it might change when they are older.
This reminds me of a sweet story and my kids from years ago. We live in a modest neighborhood (in an affluent town). Our house is on the same street as the elementary school and so my children walked. The children who lived on the peninsula with mansions and oceans views lived far enough to take a town bus to school. As the bus drove by us one afternoon while we were walking, my youngest said I feel bad for them they have to take the bus kind of far and we can walk right down the street. The kids he ‘felt bad for’ were all from millionaire families, but at that time he felt we were the ‘rich’ ones for the simplicity of walking down the street to a high quality neighborhood public school. And we still are! As they enter the teens there is far more comparisons to those families who travel more, have more, do more, but I hold on to that story. It’s all in perspective! This post is great and so important.
Interesting thread of thought here, Joshua. I was working on a draft exploring a thought about something last night because I am making the transition to full-time minimalism.
I have identified what I need and what I want. And in doing so, I have whittled down the list in both categories.
One thing that I was surprised to find myself moving from the need to want with a question mark (as opposed to just want) is my hearing aids. I do not see them as a need. So, owning less is great, yes, wanting less is better?
I do agree with you on the thought process behind this. Heck, even combining “owning and wanting” less is even better-er.
After reading this, while I haven’t figured out whether having hearing aids is a necessity or not, I am giving myself some time to figure out whether wanting them or not is better.
In a way, this post provided some clarity for decision-making. Thank you for posting this train of thought.
Mark
Please check before not using your hearing aids. I heard that if you don’t use them you will totally loose your hearing, and will not be able to hear better if you need hearing aids later. Please research this before stopping to use your hearing aids.
Please continue to wear your hearing aids! I received my degree in communication disorders, including audiology classes. Your brain can deteriorate faster (as you get older) without the sound input you are used to. You are also more able to interact with those around you, and you are safer, because you can hear better. No, hearing aids do not recreate normal hearing, and that can be annoying. But they amplify the hearing you do have to improve your quality of life.
Hi Joshua,
After I read your thoughtful article, 4 points came to mind. There’s no judgment behind any of the following assertions, particularly because I’m not immune to any of them:
1. Ideally, friendship should be a pairing where each party is comfortable being himself/herself. There’s no pretense, one-upmanship, or impressing. It would be so freeing if our friendships would also be ‘minimalist’ where we just present who we really are – with no need to embellish or aggrandize ourselves or our accomplishments and possessions.
2. When we fall victim to the ‘comparison trap,’ it’s just another way to find fault with ourselves and engage in self-sabotage. It’s almost impossible to achieve full happiness when one is constantly evaluating where he/she falls in the ‘pecking order.’
3. It’s so counterproductive when we use arbitrary standards to compare ourselves to others, ultimately affecting our self-confidence and self-worth. He has the bigger house. Who has the best lawn … the best car … the more prestigious job? The circle of comparison widens in a never-ending battle of who has made it?
4. One’s intrinsic worth and net worth can and perhaps should be mutually exclusive. The basis of self-regard and confidence should not be dependent on a faulty foundation (e.g., the size of a house).
We really need to examine how we live our lives, and the thoughts that we think on a daily basis because ultimately that determines our emotions and quality of life.
Thanks, Joshua, for the reminder!
Best Regards,
Andy
You hit the nail on the head with this response…Amen..
Hi Andy,
Your comment is very inspiring. I am seeking your permission to post it to Facebook.
Thanks
Great comment Andy
You’re so wise to have figured this out while you’re still young. Most of us take much longer, myself included. I dreamed of living clutter-free but was too overwhelmed by raising a large family to do anything about it. Once we were forced by the economy to give up our large family home and move to a much smaller place, we had to get rid of more than half of our possessions. That was eight years ago, and I have never felt so free! Wish I’d done it years ago. :0
Hello Joshua, I happened up on you though Pinterest, god much have lead me to you this morning. My life has been in a mess for about six months, I won’t go into all the details.>>>I am 61 yrs. old widow and I have made a huge life change. I have been living in a 4 bedroom 21/2 bath with 7 acres for 17 years and I have just moved two weeks ago to a one bedroom one bath. I did not know how much stuff I had collected until I started gathering and cleaning out. I gaven away to a wonderful neighbor who was having a garage sale, told him I did not want any money for the items he was saleing of mine. He has been so nice and kind to me in helping with my move. I have been sooooo sadden and depressed on leaving my home and neighbors. One thing I have realized is I have to much stuff. As I sit here writing this post I am surrounded by boxes and bags and stuff that I have no clue on with to put this stuff. This house is an older one and doesn’t have an storage space so I will need to get created. But one thing I know I need to do is as I go through this I will continue to reduce down i have to remember God still loves me. Since my husband death i have been angry with God and this saddens me. What I have gotten rid of so far feels so good. Why do I need eight sets of sheets? I don’t!!! At the other house I would have people come and visit and I felt I needed to have extra sheets, towels, pillows, blankets, twice the dishes, ex. utensils and why do I need to have so many empty picture frames, oh my goodness I could go on and on. So reading your message as inspired me to stop this depression today and get started. Thank you. I will continue to read your messages. Girl from Ga.
I hope you’re doing better, I’ve been through the same thing at 54. You’re life is not over. You will slowly make friends. Sometimes it’s harder after you’ve established a life and an identity to make a big change, especially when that change was out of your control. It does get better. It will become a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it and find a new yourself. Scary, but exciting too.
I help people with decluttering and Organizing there homes. It has been so rewarding for me and I love to help people that are struggling. I have been on a “live more simple” journey for about 8 years now and I am so excited about how far I have come. Its a process and something you have to want to do. I pray all the time for peace, contentment. LESS stuff is MORE time with family and doing what you have dreamed of doing it.
you are loved more so by our gracious God.❤️
As for many of us, down sizing is a process…what to keep, what to let go of.
Don’t be angry with God, it’s Satan’s fault that there is death (see Genesis 3:14), he’s the one who told Eve they would not die if he (Adam) ate of the fruit. Having free-will, Adam ate. God loves you no matter what. The best to you as you press on.
I have always like to organize things and clean my home but for years ai kept accumulating stuff. I collected a lot of what used to be called rustic country like old muffin pans hung on the wall, wooden items and tools that people used in earlier times. Not Chinese made junk. But a move to a different climate ( AZ) and a huge home it made these things look out of place. I packed away a lot of the ‘best’ stuff and took a lot to goodwill.
When we moved back east I was going to resume collecting – just being more selective. Until it hit me one day – I have to spend so much time and energy dusting and arranging all this stuff when what I REALLY wanted to do was travel, and spend time having experiences rather than constant home maintenance.
We are in the process of a super paring down of ‘stuff’ and it has slowly triggered a non buying mentality. I was never a retail therapy type but I just don’t enjoy shopping period. Even food shopping. We have pared down our daily menus to some tasty favorites( healthy ones! ). I no longer feel the need to impress people with the dishes I bring to family events. I being solid tasty but easy to prepare dishes. I serve the same when we have company. No stressful’ will it come out’ dishes!! I still try new things of course.
If we could sell our large home with a pool a would but the market is awful here. We bought just before the crash and bought too big. So we are downsizing in place!!
We alre also simplifying our landscaping to less work. Instead of trying to grow touchy plants we are going with simply easy to grow natives. Nothing that needs constant tending.
We are gathering more and more time to do what we love – hiking, exploring, museums, events. And less spending in all areas is enabling us to do some exotic travel abroad which, having lived several places abroad as a child is my passion.
Wanting less gives you more. Truer words have never been spoken…
Junk is junk – whether Chinese made or not,
What I collected and decorated with was NOT junk. It was things from long past times that hardworking people used in their daily lives. It had meaning and, again, was NOT junk. You misread or misunderstood my post. What they were were things of quality and value that I no longer valued personally and chose to pass along. There is a BIG difference J….
Ok that’s a jerk comment…there are things that some look as junk but old things are a part of history & beautiful!