I was once told by a mentor, “Each of us are living in the midst of a trial, have just emerged from one, or are heading toward another.”
It is phrasing similar to another oft-quoted truth, “Be kind to everyone you meet. You never know what battle they are fighting.”
There is truth in this statement. But it is particularly enhanced during the holiday season when loss, of every kind, is magnified.
So be kind to one another out there.
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But I want to approach this conversation from a slightly different angle. With all the weight and burden that each of us already carry in life, why would we ever choose to intentionally carry more?
Just consider all the things that weigh down our hearts and lives: death, loss, illness, worry, politics, financial hardships, grief, guilt, marital tension, traumatic events. Each a weight that we carry on our shoulders.
Many of these burdens are inevitable and entirely outside our realm of control. Regardless of their origin, we carry them—each of us, on a daily basis.
No wonder, in a recent survey when children were asked, “If you were granted one wish about your parents, what would it be?” The kids’ number one wish was that their parents were less tired and less stressed.
Life is not easy. It never has been and was never promised to be. And in our new society defined by instantaneous social sharing, not only do we carry the weight of our own trials, we also carry the weight of others.
A friend of mine, on the other side of the country, was rushed to a hospital Thanksgiving evening. Through text and social media, I was alerted to it almost instantly. A tragedy, on the other side of the country, involving a family not my own. And yet, a sadness… a weight… was felt in our home.
Life is hard. Why would we ever choose to make it more difficult?
But it seems to me that many of us choose to do that very thing simply by carrying excess possessions in our homes and lives.
Perhaps Randy Alcorn said it best, “Every increased possession adds increased anxiety onto our lives.”
Excess possessions take up residence in our homes and in our minds. They require care, maintenance, and attention. Every item we own must be handled and at some point, discarded—whether by ourselves or by a loved one. They add obligation, responsibility, weight.
Clutter is a contributing factor to the level of stress in our lives. For example, 1) Researchers at UCLA discovered a link between high levels of stress hormones and a high density of household objects; 2) Princeton scientists discovered that a cluttered environment limits our ability to focus; and 3) Psychology Today reinforced these studies back in March 2012, citing eight specific reasons how clutter contributes to higher levels of stress in our bodies.
With all the weight and burden that each of us already carry in life, why would we ever choose to intentionally carry more?
Unburden your life in the areas you can control. In so doing, you will find more freedom and capacity to navigate the trials and burdens that are outside of it.
Marsha says
We were given a large chicken house for storage as we were building our house 36 years ago. A nice 2 room 2 door chicken house. After the house was built and the garage built, we no longer needed the chicken house. Others thought it was fun that we had the chicken house. Never any chickens. Some did HS senior pictures with the chicken house as background. I wanted to get rid of it for several years. When the covid shut down happened in 2020, we were doing things around home to entertain ourselves. We replaced the 36’X10’ floor of our front porch and stained and sealed it and the 12’X24’ side porch floor. We did a lot of had labor projects. We would be physically exhausted at the end of each day but in a good way. One day, while my husband was working on another project, I took a crowbar and started tearing down the chicken house. My husband joined me as soon as he finished his project. It took us 2 days and we stacked the wood boards T-pee style as we worked. We finally had to get the tractor out to pull one section apart and drag it to the rest of the boards. Then we finally had it all torn down. We set fire to it. It burned hot for 10 hours and was nothing but white ash when it was done. We sat and watched it burn. Then we celebrated a project done we had wanted to do for a very long time, but were afraid to try until we were bored enough that we just tackled it. We are in our 70s.
Sharon says
Thankyou for the post, we live in a society where over sharing seems to be the norm. I often observe on social media that people respond positively, to negative events and do not celebrate they positive. Recently a friend of mine lost her parent, her posts were full of details which invaded the person who had died privacy and dignity and made me feel very comfortable.
We also live in a society where anxiety is talked about everywhere, but little thought to coping mechanisms. To teach children that they wont face trials is unrealistic, better like you say to face them and know at some point we will come through them. That’s the attitude of my grandparents generation and they had alot more to cope with than I will have to face.
I do believe there is a clear link for me with the amount of clutter I have and my ability to cope with things. I am currently in my annual Lent declutter challenge, and have already removed over 100 items and I am more productive, can think clearer and I am less overwhelmed
Thankyou