Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Jacob Jolibois.
Minimalism removes the meaningless to make room for the meaningful.
Properly understood, it is easy to get caught up in the minimalist lifestyle. The idea of removing the meaningless to make room for the meaningful is attractive to many.
Before long, garbage bags line the edge of the road and the backseat of the car is loaded with boxes for Goodwill. But as we finalize the details on our latest eBay auction, we may sit back and wonder, “Now what?”
What was the point of this exercise anyway? What is the “meaningful” that we are supposed to be making room for? While some people are born knowing precisely what they want to do with their lives, some of us live in a constant state of misdirection, unsure of our purpose. Every shiny thing we try, we soon discover, is not what we thought it would be.
As a result, minimalism becomes just another shiny thing we discard when it doesn’t fulfill us. But, if we discover our meaningful pursuits, minimalism becomes a tool that empowers us to realize it.
Here then, are six important questions to help anyone discover their unique, most meaningful pursuits:
1. What currently leads to most of my happiness and fulfillment?
“This is the true joy of life, the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one.” —George Bernard Shaw
Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto discovered a principle wherein 80% of results stem from 20% of the causes. Therefore, if we could pinpoint the 20% of activity that supplies 80% of our happiness and fulfillment, we could begin taking steps toward maximizing our time and resources within the 20% and moving away from the 80%. Be intentional about breaking down what makes you happy and leverage your minimalist lifestyle to make time for those activities.
2. What concern or problem do I feel most compelled to solve?
“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.” —Martin Luther King, Jr.
Martin Luther King, Jr. illuminated the heart and soul of defining our “why”: others. In a world where individualistic concerns are championed, the world-changers and the misfits must unite around a cause larger than themselves. It is there that we will find an answer to our “why” that wells up inside of us and motivates us to make a difference.
3. What would I spend my day doing if I knew I couldn’t fail?
After answering this question, answer a second—what is the worst case scenario if you attempt it now and fail? I would be willing to bet that most of you will discover the worst case scenario isn’t all that bad. If we give our fears a name, they tend to shrink. They’re like the wizard behind the curtain—only an illusion.
“There are two types of people in this world. There are people who see the thing they want and there are people who see the thing preventing them from getting what they want.” —Unknown
4. What do I get so consumed with that I forget to eat or sleep?
“Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there’s love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.” —Ella Jane Fitzgerald
Purpose is found at the convergence of passion and service. What makes each of us unique is the sum of our individual experiences, traits, skills, interests, and aptitudes. We must tap into the practices that fulfill us and find a way to marry it with our cause (see the answers to questions 2 and 3). There we will find our “why”.
5. What does my perfect day look like?
“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” —Cheshire Cat, Alice in Wonderland
Outlining a clear picture of our “why” in practical terms gives us clarity and direction instead of a vague, romanticized goal. It allows us to dig into the details and honestly ask ourselves what we desire. With this clear destination in mind, we can be proactive in our journey.
6. What is one step I can take this week toward realizing my “meaningful?”
“A vision without a task is but a dream, a task without a vision is drudgery, a vision and a task is the hope of the world.” —From a church in Sussex, England, ca.1730
Now that we have named our values, burdens, fears, passions and goals, we have a better understanding of why we do what we do. Though we may not have all of the answers now, we have a place from which to start.
At this point, it is crucial to give ourselves a few small wins in the beginning to build momentum. Write down at least one step you can take this week toward your purpose. It could be reaching out to a friend, writing an outline, or setting aside $100.
The important thing is to start. And to discover more and more space to pursue it.
***
Jacob Jolibois writes at JacobJolibois.com, helping others craft a simple, yet impactful life. You can also find him on Twitter.
About Joshua Becker
Recently I have learnt a new word – “retooling”.
I lost my husband exactly a year ago yesterday. It was sudden. He was only 52. I am trying to heal from his loss. I would like to find a way of keeping myself meaningfully busy. I do have interests and skills.
Jacob, this article helps.
I have done Vipassana meditation that really helped.
I’m retired, daily decluttering and minimalizing (for at least 10 years now). Getting better at it every day. Now what dear youngsters?
1. Look back and see what I’ve missed?
2. Play with our children, grand children, great grand children, and just check off the days as they pass?
No, it’s time to strike out once again, to find what has escaped me so far. I’ll give a shot at those questions? Happy trails. ;-)
Yes. I’ve been wondering about this blank slate I seem to be since becoming minimalist– I just don’t know what I enjoy anymore. Looking forward to going through the Uncluttered course and maybe pinpoint a few of my dreams/desires :)
I was just considering your thoughts at the beginning of this article in a post I recently wrote (linked). But, I realized, as I read through your subsequent questions, that I think I am finally doing what I have always loved but didn’t give myself a chance to do, and that is write. I get completely lost in the writing of a letter, blog post, story, poem. It brings me joy to reach others through the written word and point them back to God. My struggle is with #2, that larger cause that I can pour myself into. The world is so beleaguered with troubles, it is hard to know which one I will devote myself to. I need to consider this one further. Thank you for the list!
Thank you for these questions. I guess I’ve got some soul-searching to do now. I especially like numbers 3 and 5. There are many things I would do if I knew I couldn’t fail. How do we get past that fear of failure and take that leap? I feel like Batman trapped in the prison-pit in The Dark Knight Rises sometimes. At what point do we jump with no rope?
I love the journey! :)
I found this article to be SO helpful. Sometimes, it is so hard to really pin down what God has put us here to do and to find that calling that He has for us. The points you brought out were very inspirational and encouraging to me. Thank you so much for sharing. God bless you. :)
Thank you Cheryl! God is good =)
He’s the best! :) :) :)
I have asked so many of these questions so many times and doing so has led me to a more meaningful life. Yet, I find I have to keep asking myself! It’s like I reach a new normal and then get restless to see if I can take my life even deeper.
I relate to other creative people’s comments above. It is hard to keep up the good work day after day.
People ask me often how I built my life and business to reflect what I love. I am excited to have this quick read to share with them to get them started. I’m also going to forward it to my life coach. She is always sending me resources like this.
Thank you!
Melissa, I love hearing stories of people putting things into practice. Thanks for sharing! Keep it up =)
This was kind of compelling for me. See, my first career choice _was_ with my passions, things I get caught up on. But the professional life didn’t bring easy flow. I have troubles with the fact that there just isn’t enough real work that pays on the field. (And establishing your own business in a tiny country like Finland is really risky too. We don’t have much niche market.)
But still these questions compell me, because even when I’m out of work, I don’t do exactly things that are related with my first career with all that free time. It’s tricky with art fields – they all are so different… I have found another art field, money is as tight there, but it’s maybe a little bit more doable.
But it does take a ton of creativity (!) to be an artist and try to make your living out of it in a world, that’s driven by markets and individualism. I feel that minimalism is helping. I feel that I even might make the talk about minimalism a part of my work. I don’t know exactly how yet, but it’s a fascinating thought.
Nokkela, the fact that you are trying despite the odds says a lot about your character. That’s an exciting journey to be sure.
Sometimes, the things you truly love aren’t necessarily your career (at least for a season of life). On the flip side, with the power of the internet, a lot of seemingly impossible things are possible. If you haven’t yet read BOLD by Peter Diamandis and Steven Kotler, I would highly suggest it.
Jacob,
This post is hitting home right now. Just last night I had a long walk and talk with my 14 year old son. I was asking him questions to get to that understanding of his passions. I was heartbroken to learn that though he is a 4.0 student, he feels no passion whatsoever for any of his studies. He said the only time he ever feels that passion is during competitive sports (he loves playing hockey). For years I thought he was a nature lover, but he admitted he only likes it when he catches the fish, or shoots the turkey. Any advice on helping my son learn his purpose?
Hi Corry!
That’s a tough boat to be in, for you and for your son. Sometimes it just takes living through a few different things to figure out what their “why” is.
1. I would ask him a few of the questions in the post (especially #1, 2 and 5)
2. If he enjoys hockey, dig a bit deeper into the “why” behind hockey. Maybe a competitive field is exactly where he would thrive. Here’s a short article that might help you help him: http://www.jacobjolibois.com/blog/why
3. I hear about people stuck in this same rut fairly often (myself included). In answer to it, I put together a free course called “Crafting Your Identity” that is a 7-part series with small exercises throughout that tremendously helped me. Here’s the link: http://www.jacobjolibois.com/courses
I went to your “Crafting Your Identity” link but got this message: http://jacobjolibois.com/courses
Look at the Chicago Blackhawks!!! :)
Hockey is a beautiful thing.
Hi Jacob,
You have a lot of good questions! I loved the phrase “…some of us live in a constant state of misdirection, unsure of our purpose”. I had a chuckle at that, it would describe me at least until the age of 50… drifting into one position or another in the same company until they laid my department off. By the time that happened, I knew what I wanted to do and was able to transition by going to school and now am working in my new career (which I love).
The troubles I have relate to home stresses (children & grandchildren living with us) and my health. While I love my (very physical) job, I don’t know how long I can expect to do it. And some days I would like to “declutter my family” (get them to move out!!!). My husband and I are introverts, enjoy quiet time, privacy, space. All of these are compromised by our living arrangements.
My decluttering of stuff has slowed down because I’ve been at this awhile and because much of the extra stuff belongs to the children. But my “minimalist” mindset prevents me from actively recluttering at least.
I think the point of what I am trying to say is that I might finally know what my “passions” are but I can’t entirely follow them due to circumstances beyond my control… So, I go where I can :)
That’s a great attitude Peggy!
Thankfully, you’re in the right place – Joshua’s family approach to minimalism is wonderful. I would suggest another guest post here on the blog: “Simplicity when your spouse doesn’t get it.”
http://becomingminimalist.com/simplicity-when-your-spouse-doesnt-get-it/
The post is dealing with spouses but perhaps it can cross over to your children as well. Best of luck!
Hi Jacob, I read the link you gave me… It makes sense… BUT the dialogue at my house usually goes like this: (Me):”Is it okay to part with this widget” (Child): “Why do you want to get rid of everything??? Just leave it”… There is a lot of blowback LOL
I expect it is hard having a house full. You will miss them very much when they do move out me thinks.
Angela
Hi Angela, Yes it is tough to have a house full. We get waked up or kept awake with some frequency. We both work, so this is a definite hardship. We have approximately 1100 square feet, 4 adults, 2 grandchildren (& their toys!) in this space. I know I will miss anyone who leaves… but I am determined to get over it LOL
What an inspiring article! I have really been struggling with stepping out of my comfort zone in a particular area of my life. Thanks for the reminder that I just need to start. So often, when I am thinking of taking a risk, I think of the worst case scenario. The times that I have failed have never been as bad as what I envisioned.
Whatever it is that you’re battling, you’re not alone – so many of us are hitting the same wall. But we can all step out and just start!
Best of luck, Karlene =)
Jacob,
I just love your writing. This piece just speaks volume to me. It’s such a great article about direction or redirection and leaning out your life to find the very best. I love it. Thank you for your writing. It is such an inspiring piece.
Thank you so much Chanthol!
Oh my, I really loved this. My favorite line was, “Purpose is found at the convergence of passion and service.” This life really isn’t all about ourselves, and our own happiness, is it? And yet our greatest happiness will in fact be found when we realize this. Ironic.
Amen, Elizabeth!
great timing…we are downsizing, selling the house and retiring and we needed this information to help us see clearly where we are headed rather than “just not going to work”. Thanks!
Wow, I’m excited for y’all! I’m glad I could help in some little way.
Im still at the decluttering phase of minimalism, but do realize that getting rid of our “stuff” is not the end goal. I appreciate these questions and will have to bookmark them for later in my journey!
Good luck Angela! It’s an exciting journey
Like. Very encouraging n inspiring!!
Thank you Obi!
Hi Jacob – I so agree with your point about ‘worst case scenarios’. In reality if everything goes wrong, the worst that happens is you have to start again -it’s rarely life threatening and yet we often perceive it that way
Exactly Mark! And what’s so bad about starting over? It’s a clean slate full of possibilities =)
Good reminder.
Very inspiring words, Jacob! I so agree that no matter what your goal or dream may be, the most important thing is just to start. Too often we can be paralyzed by the fear of failing or the thing that stands in our way. Simply starting can give us that confidence we need to succeed and conquer :)
Thank you Christina!
Small wins early on are a magical thing, aren’t they =)
I absolutely love these six questions – especially the one ‘What would you do if you knew you could not fail?’ What a powerful question. If we went into every pursuit with the knowing that we could not fail, can you imagine how many more things we would try? Unfortunately our thinking analyzing brain comes into everything, and delineates all the ways we can fail, before we even step foot into the arena. Thanks for the post!
I know the feeling – I’m super analytical and get caught up in the prospect of failure quite often. That question (along with #3) works wonders to get me out of that funk =)
Me too, Jacob, and I’ve often caught myself over-thinking and obsessively analyzing at the expense of intuitively trusting and just doing.
Another question I also find really helpful is to ask: ‘what did I enjoy as a child or teenager?’ For example I used to love solving ‘design and functionality’ problems, mainly of an architectural nature. Even now, the act of simplifying anything, while keeping it timeless, beautiful and useful has always been a huge buzz for me.
For me, I find the best way to keep in touch with my why (and myself in general) is to take a walk alone. Then I can listen to what my heart has to say. I wrote a bit about it here: http://everydaymindfulliving.com/taking-a-walk-alone/
I completely agree, Kariane – long walks just to think is such a great way to clear your mind and understand your “why.”
I totally agree Kariane. Funny how whatever the problem, the rhythm of walking while communing with nature seems to work every time. As does the old adage of ‘sleeping on it’ – the unconscious mind will always find a way.
Great article Jacob – thanks for addressing the important questions.
Great post and I think your questions are spot on in helping to discover your joy.
A powerful list. I especially like the quote from the old church in Sussex.
Me too Karen!
This is such a great post. Minimalism is a tool and not a destination– I definitely try to tell people that as often as I can! The point is not to “win” at minimalism, but to use it towards the greatest purposes that compel us. So more more important than downsizing, simplifying and decluttering is finding that one thing– the thing that makes us come to life.
Thanks Daisy!
By the way, I’ve loved reading about some of your travels. Sounds like you’re learning a lot along the way =)
thank you daisy for your comment. it really resonated with me. I am still fairly new to this and am in the middle of downsizing/de cluttering. I have been wondering about what happens after, how to keep my focus (a general life problem I have!), and so much more! I am looking forward to finding my one thing, right after I get rid of the MANY things in the way!
The “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” question is a great one. I’m currently considering undertaking a Master’s in Public Health and have been wondering if it is my fear of failure that is what is really holding me back. Great post!
Wow, congrats Meryl! That’s an exciting undertaking =)
Don’t let fear get ya – best of luck!
I have an MPH. I got it 25 years ago. I love my career and am passionate about Public Health. I am now CEO of a nonprofit organization that focuses on teen pregnancy prevention. You will be surrounded by passionate people working to make a difference in the world.If you are able to join the Peace Corps either before or after your MPH, it will boost your skills and experience and transform your life.
Jacob, that is the one of the best articles I have read in awhile. We have to determine what is truly meaningful because what you may consider meaningful I may call meaningless,
With that said, meaningful is personal. I liked all the questions, but I really thought #3 and #5 were really interesting.
I never imagined everything I tried being a success. I probably would get bored of success.
What would my day be like? Do not know. However, I would be happier. Interesting
Thank you!
Exactly – I think each of our journeys are unique. That’s why I love hearing everyone’s individual stories.
Jacob, how would answer #3?
oops, You.